Something positive I did to love me today! Please add!

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  • pickadilly2009
    pickadilly2009 Posts: 320 Member
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    Well Amy, I wish someone would have told me a long time ago I was doing too much for them. The oldest is 22 and is having a terrible time navigating this world. My youngest is 13 and at the age where anything mom says must be wrong so undoing it is becoming a huge issue. I am not sure I know how to if I am totally honest. I don't know if I just wanted to take care of them or if it is impatience and I just wanted them to get it done. Either way...this is definitly my mother bobo. On the positive side of that....lol...my boys tell me that they never wonder for one second whether I love them or if I will be there should they need me. I wish I could figure out how to develope self motivation in them. As a teacher, any ideas?

    Oh the book is going to get really interesting now! I love the blow ups! lol Her descriptive writing is amazing! I wish I were as creative and want to make chairs!
  • pickadilly2009
    pickadilly2009 Posts: 320 Member
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    My sister is 2 yrs younger-35 and she was very babied as a child and so she really doesn't do anything around the house unless it is only for her. I do all the cooking, cleaning (except her laundry) and basically everything that has to be done. She is a little bigger than me, she had always been smaller but I passed her a few months ago and now she is starting to kind of worry about exercise and diet, sisterly competition I guess. So hope I can rub off on her! She had super low self esteem when she finished school and I think it was due to low expectations and never being required to do anything. It was easy to live up to no expectations, but the real world has huge expectations. Be careful of that with your son. In the long run doing things for him that he can do for himself convinces a part of him that he can't succeed at the simplest things. My sister is better than she was but still doubts herself a lot when it comes to success. Mom was the opposite with me the middle child, I was always pushed extremely hard and no grade except a 100% was ever good enough so I push myself until it's perfect. That is why my weight bothers me so much I feel like I have failed even with the amount I've lost. SO I just have to keep telling myself I am good enough, I am not a failure, and I am worth it! I am hoping that someday soon I will start to believe it.

    As for the book, Polly just announced on air she is anorexic and they are getting ready for the parties. She is building her garden. Her descriptions are so vivid I can see her house and the garden and want to live there!

    No wonder you are so hard on yourself. 100% is un-realistic! If we were perfect, there would be no need for Jesus!

    Being a parent is the most difficult thing I have ever done! It is wonderful that you are sticking with your sister and trying to help her! I can't wait to see you during the rest of your journey! You are in fact...amazing!
  • pickadilly2009
    pickadilly2009 Posts: 320 Member
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    I don't know why this posted twice...sorry
  • sdereski
    sdereski Posts: 3,406 Member
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    I LOVE this thread and am so happy to have found it!!

    A couple of months ago, I was told the same thing by a couple of Reike thereapists - that I need to look in the mirror each morning and tell myself " I love you". I have not been able to do that yet, and that makes me really sad.

    So, today, I did go for a walk during my lunch hour and enjoyed some beautiful sunshine.

    5 things I like about myself:
    My smile
    My boobs - yes, my boobs!
    I am very kind and compassionate
    I believe in the goodness of humankind.
    I am good at staying in touch with my family and friends.
  • AmyNVegas
    AmyNVegas Posts: 2,215 Member
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    Silvana- you are off to a good start, you are already identifying things you do like so now it is just about accepting the rest and then loving you for you no matter what you see. The third is the hardest trust me it's where I am right now. But we can do this!

    picadilly- my mom meant well with pushing me she sewed in a clothing factory, worked in a bar, and many other barely paying jobs just to try to put food on the table and when she saw how smart I was at 2 she enrolled me in nursery school and told me every day I was going to college and not sewing in a factory. I think her pushing me was what she thought was a good way to keep me motivated and I did graduate from college and I even have a masters degree now, but I applied that level of perfectionism to other aspects of my life where perfection isn't even possible so that is my demon I am working on. Accepting me for me and loving what I am how I am and doing what is good for me not what is perfect. It's coming along and as you know a long process of change. In the book Jake just met her overweight friend and told her off for being such a bad friend. Loved it! The anniversary party is happening today I am getting into that part hope her aunt tells her uncle where to stick himself in front of everyone guess I'll see!
  • pickadilly2009
    pickadilly2009 Posts: 320 Member
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    Nice sdereski!!

    So I did my kickboxing video tonight with the guys watched the first pre-season game of the Broncos. Was perfect timing!!!

    This is a different video than I had done before and at the end he said something I wanted to share with you all.

    He said that you have to love yourself to change. That made me think that we must already love ourselves because we are already working on the change. Maybe it is just acknowledging that we do love ourselves that is hard!

    L oyalty
    O bedience
    V ictory
    E verlasting

    A little food for our thoughts!
  • sdereski
    sdereski Posts: 3,406 Member
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    Thank you Amy. There are things that I like about myself, but have often said I was my own worst enemy. I get close to my goal and I end up sabotaging myself. I do it every single time. Like I don't deserve to be slim.I don't know why.
    I do that in other aspects of my life as well and it is so upsetting to me, yet I can't seem to change the behaviour.
    When I found the quote that is with my signature, I cried. It struck such a nerve with me.

    I ran 10miles tonight and made sure I ate a healthy dinner. I wasn't that hungry, but am getting so now. Better get to bed before I start eating crap that's no good for me!

    Once again, thank you for this wonderful thread.
  • AmyNVegas
    AmyNVegas Posts: 2,215 Member
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    My sister and I were in a consignment shop looking for cheap cabinets and bookcases (didn't find any) and back by the restrooms there was this huge gold framed mirror I was waiting for her to come out of the restroom and looked in it and thought wow this is a skinny mirror I look so thin I want this mirror! When my sis came out I told her it was the best mirror I had ever seen and wanted it (she thought I was joking we hate gaudy gold stuff) and when I told her why she said what are you talking about that is really you and stood beside me to prove it. She looked the same in it as she did standing beside of me. I was so shocked. I couldn't believe that was really me! I about cried there in the store. It made me realize how distorted my body image really has been. I had to think I was looking in a skinny mirror to see the real me. I was so proud of me then. I could really see how far I had come just in the past few months.

    Picadilly- I finished the book and a box of tissues LOL my sister is reading it now. I can't wait until I get the others.
  • pickadilly2009
    pickadilly2009 Posts: 320 Member
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    My sister and I were in a consignment shop looking for cheap cabinets and bookcases (didn't find any) and back by the restrooms there was this huge gold framed mirror I was waiting for her to come out of the restroom and looked in it and thought wow this is a skinny mirror I look so thin I want this mirror! When my sis came out I told her it was the best mirror I had ever seen and wanted it (she thought I was joking we hate gaudy gold stuff) and when I told her why she said what are you talking about that is really you and stood beside me to prove it. She looked the same in it as she did standing beside of me. I was so shocked. I couldn't believe that was really me! I about cried there in the store. It made me realize how distorted my body image really has been. I had to think I was looking in a skinny mirror to see the real me. I was so proud of me then. I could really see how far I had come just in the past few months.

    Picadilly- I finished the book and a box of tissues LOL my sister is reading it now. I can't wait until I get the others.

    Wow Amy! What an epiphany!!! That is so cool! Did you get the mirror? If not, you should because it would be a great reminder!

    Which one is due in next to read? I knew you were going to love that book! It will be fun to see your sister read it too! Sort of like a book club. I have been considering joining a book club again. I just found that it made the story less fun to read because you were analyzing it while you read and it just was not as pleasurable to read. I don't know .... I am considering it.
  • pickadilly2009
    pickadilly2009 Posts: 320 Member
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    This was actually yesterday but....I went to a friends birthday party and didn't not snack like a crazy woman!
  • whitejessamine
    whitejessamine Posts: 166
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    Amy, that's amazing! Hooray for you!
  • AmyNVegas
    AmyNVegas Posts: 2,215 Member
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    Thanks ladies :)

    picadilly- all 3 of the older books are in, only the newest one is on hold on a waiting list so I have 3 in that I will pick up tomorrow. Any suggestions on which one I should read next? No I didn't get the mirror it was about 9 feet tall and 5 feet wide and had an awful gold frame LOL!
  • sdereski
    sdereski Posts: 3,406 Member
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    Amy, I read your profile - amazing job on your weight loss journey!!!!! Congratulations.

    Today, I went for a bike ride. Was feeling tired, so didn't push myself, but just biked. When I got home, I actually put my bathing suit on and went for a swim ( I dislike wearing a bathing suit!!!!) It was refreshing. After dinner, I did have to have a short nap.
    It was a good day, and it was all mine. :-)
  • AmyNVegas
    AmyNVegas Posts: 2,215 Member
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    Silvana- thanks for the compliment! :flowerforyou: There are studies out that say when you bike or walk or any cardio type exercise that you should do it at a more leisurely pace with only short spurts of high intensity exercise. Working at a high heart rate for extended periods can actually cause the body to produce too much cortisol which makes you retain and store fat and wears out your endocrine system. So you probably did yourself some good by just taking a nice ride!:drinker:

    So yesterday I rested and took a little time to read and relax that was what I did for me. I told my other sisters about the mirror thing and they have not seen me in over 2 yrs so they are excited to see the difference.
  • pickadilly2009
    pickadilly2009 Posts: 320 Member
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    Amy & Silvana...good for you too!!! Rest is a good thing!

    Amy, the other book I have read is "The Last Time I Was Me" . I am waiting on the others until I am done with the new Clan of the Cave Bears book. You will have to tell me which one to read next! :happy:

    Today I am staying on plan so that I feel better about myself when I lay my head on my pillow and think about my day. I am also going to go spend and hour at the gym.
  • AmyNVegas
    AmyNVegas Posts: 2,215 Member
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    pickadilly- I started Julia's Chocolates while waiting on the dentist. It is really good so far she sucks you into the story right off the bat, I really like that.

    Today my good thing for me was I went to the gym and worked out a great workout and felt so good afterwards!:drinker:
  • sdereski
    sdereski Posts: 3,406 Member
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    Amy, the books you are reading sound really interesting. What are they? Are they all by the same author? I love to read, and am always on the lookout for something new.

    Was tired today, but did head to the gym and it turned out to be a great workout. I ran afterward as well - when I started thought it was going to be a short run, as I was off to a slow start, but it ended up being a pretty good run. :happy:

    Time for bed. I'm plumb tuckered out. :tongue:
    Have a great night. :flowerforyou:
  • sandyj07
    sandyj07 Posts: 12
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    I like this topic very much. I suffer from severe clinical depression and actually thinking positively about myself does not come easy for me. I've been reading your comments and have thought, "Wow, I want to be like them". So here goes, I took a deep breathe today and I started to reach out to people for support. I have been on two websites, MFP and another and I am trying to build a friend base that will share with me and encourage me to get out there and do things for myself for a change. Thanks so much for listening.
  • AmyNVegas
    AmyNVegas Posts: 2,215 Member
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    Sandy- welcome!!:drinker: We are glad to have you.:flowerforyou: You took a huge step and we are proud of you for doing that.:bigsmile:

    Silvana- the books we are reading are by Cathy Lamb. I read Such a Pretty Face and now I am reading Julia's Chocolates. They are about women who have weight or body image issues and their process of learning to be comfortable with themselves and finding themselves. They are very well written and hilarious and make you cry, too. In other words great books!:laugh: I think she has 5 books at least that's how many I found, Picadilly may know if there are more she told me about them. Great job on the gym and the run. It's the one thing in my life I fight with myself about that if I give in and do it it's good for me.:laugh: I am so tired some days I do not want to go but after I go I feel so much better and I have a sense of doing something good and it boosts my resolve that I can do this.:bigsmile:
  • AmyNVegas
    AmyNVegas Posts: 2,215 Member
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    Haven't done it yet but today I am going to get a cute new haircut. I think it has grown out enough now for my hairdresser to really do something with it. She is amazing and she only charges $9.95!:drinker: I am going to tell her to work her magic and do what she thinks will look best. I really trust her - been seeing her for about 3 yrs now. I'll let you all know how it turns out I need to do a new pic on here so maybe I can get my sis to take one with my new hair and smaller me(not a lot smaller but about 20lbs less).

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