The QUIT KIDDING YOURSELF thread!

ninerbuff

No that's not quite what I mean. Just that it's a sad reality yes, but overweight people typically ARE doing the wrong things. It's just a little obvious and a tad self-serving.

So then I should just shut up and let them keep doing it? Sorry, but that would be a dis service to what I do as a profession. It's called Tough Love and some people need it.

ambermichon

Amen!!! I wish those people there to talk would move aside so there is more room/machines for those there to work out. I did lunges today with a bar and struggled the last 2 sets but finished and knew I was accomplishing something!!! Thats a good feeling!

wlddove

Loved your topic! )

I have a question, though. This whole weight loss thing is confusing me! So, you told the girls to eat 400 calories over their BMR.... I assume this is the number they would need to eat in order to lose weight. Okay, so, I calculated my BMR, and it's around 1650. Which means, if I added 400 to it, I should be eating over 2000 calories a day?!? I'm currently eating 1200. Am I doing something wrong?! I'm so confused....

I gave a standard answer with the assumption that they worked out hard since I saw them there all the time. I usually use 400 calories over BMR because most people who work out consistently and with decent effort will burn 500 calories in an hour. Apply the calories that they do in every day life (walking, working, and even chores) and they should be in calorie deficit.
With your BMR if you're not working out 1200 would be okay, but if you are working out hard, then I would up the calories.

Ahhhh, okay. Thanks for the explanation!!

ambermichon

So so true. I actually don't use any dumb bells less than 17.5lbs... and that's for lateral raises. If you aren't going to kill it at the gym... why waste your time going!!! I believe some people actually don't think it has to be challenging to be effective and yes, you are right, they are fooling themselves!

Wow you are my hero!!! lol laterals are tough!!! I am not anywhere near that weight yet... 10lbs but I will get there!

MsMe79

My problem is I don't sweat anywhere near what most people do... no idea why, just never have, but anyone watching me will know I'm working hard, cause well, I go really red

I personally don't worry about anyone but myself!

Meet your sister! I sweat F all but I glow! And am super red for up to an hour after

YAY! I'm not the only one! And I like the word "Glow" I'm going to use that from now on

fiberartist219

My husband has made comments here and there about how light my weights are, but honestly, they make me huff and puff and burp up all sorts of interesting flavors. I'm always sore for at least 48 hours afterward. I'm pretty sure that I'm working hard, because there's no way I could speak during my workouts.

I lead a fairly busy life, so when I workout, I want to get in as much hard and fast calorie burning as I can so I can get on to other things.

chrisdavey

Great post

After training some clients, I was approached by a female and her friend because they wanted some advice on losing the weight around the middle and their legs. They did admit that their eating needed help, but were GOOD with their training and wouldn't need help with that since they've trained before and have good form. Advice I gave them was to find their BMR and eat about 400 calories over it.

Loved your topic! )

I have a question, though. This whole weight loss thing is confusing me! So, you told the girls to eat 400 calories over their BMR.... I assume this is the number they would need to eat in order to lose weight. Okay, so, I calculated my BMR, and it's around 1650. Which means, if I added 400 to it, I should be eating over 2000 calories a day?!? I'm currently eating 1200. Am I doing something wrong?! I'm so confused....

BMR x estimated activity = total daily energy expenditure. I assume the OP is saying that as these ladies said they have their exercise under control that they would be creating a calorific deficit to lose weight through exercise moreso than reduced calorie intake.

leilani♥

Amen!!! I wish those people there to talk would move aside so there is more room/machines for those there to work out. I did lunges today with a bar and struggled the last 2 sets but finished and knew I was accomplishing something!!! Thats a good feeling!

This happened to me the other night. These 2 ladies were sitting side by side in 2 different machines that I wanted to use. And they had a bunch of makeup on and trendy workout outfits talking about their woes & stress. I wanted to point them to the lobby chairs to carry on their conversation..very distracting while working out!

stephanielynn76

Well thanks!!! A figure competition is one of my goals for next year I love weight training... I say go big or go home!

So so true. I actually don't use any dumb bells less than 17.5lbs... and that's for lateral raises. If you aren't going to kill it at the gym... why waste your time going!!! I believe some people actually don't think it has to be challenging to be effective and yes, you are right, they are fooling themselves!

Dang girl you should do a Fitness comp! You definitely got the right goods to do it. Impressive on the laterals! Many guys don't even use that weight..................woosies.

fromaquasar

I think people need this talk with their eating as well.

My flatmate often moans at me about how it's unfair I am "so skinny" and she is always on a diet blah blah. But then I watch her eat fudge and icecream every night as a "treat" for going to the gym and her day is full of "healthy" things like pasta, or fruit smoothies - which are fine in moderation, but not at all conductive to her goals. Whenever I try to offer advice she gets super defensive - fair enough it is a sensitive thing, but it gets on my grill that she then whines.

And the exercise thing on top of that. If you leave the gym and you aren't even a little pink you know you aren't going to get anywhere!

Katie3784

If I am happy with the way my arms and shoulders look now, do I need to increase the weight I'm doing once it gets kinda easy, or should I stay where I am? I do 3 sets of 18 reps for most exercises, and I definitely feel it, but what would happen if I upped the weight and lowered the reps to, say, 15? Would I get bigger or more defined, 'cause I really don't want that. I just want to maintain.

chrisdavey

If I am happy with the way my arms and shoulders look now, do I need to increase the weight I'm doing once it gets kinda easy, or should I stay where I am? I do 3 sets of 18 reps for most exercises, and I definitely feel it, but what would happen if I upped the weight and lowered the reps to, say, 15? Would I get bigger or more defined, 'cause I really don't want that. I just want to maintain.

18 reps is musclular endurance. Minimal if any muscle size gain.

Have a read of this.

I would recommend 3-4 sets of 8-12 reps for a good balance. When you reach the desired sets and reps then you increase the weight. If you aren't increasing weights then you aren't forcing you body to change which stagnates.

And you only mentioned arms and shoulders. Squat, deadlift, rows and pullups Same principles apply.

ivyjbres

My husband has made comments here and there about how light my weights are, but honestly, they make me huff and puff and burp up all sorts of interesting flavors. I'm always sore for at least 48 hours afterward. I'm pretty sure that I'm working hard, because there's no way I could speak during my workouts.

I lead a fairly busy life, so when I workout, I want to get in as much hard and fast calorie burning as I can so I can get on to other things.

Really, starting off with lighter weights is fine as long as you progress to higher weights as you go. I'm just getting back to working out after (basically) taking 5 years off. There are some exercises that, because of old injuries, I can't do with more than 5 pounds. Because of my C-section, I can't even do a full sit up. But as long as what you are doing challenges, and makes you a bit sore, you're going to be seeing benefits

ninerbuff

My husband has made comments here and there about how light my weights are, but honestly, they make me huff and puff and burp up all sorts of interesting flavors. I'm always sore for at least 48 hours afterward. I'm pretty sure that I'm working hard, because there's no way I could speak during my workouts.

I lead a fairly busy life, so when I workout, I want to get in as much hard and fast calorie burning as I can so I can get on to other things.

While 5-7lbs may be heavy for some exercises (curls, extensions and laterals come to mind) many TOTALLY underestimate how much they could really handle.
This evening, I had my 111lb female goblet squatting with a 50lb dumbell. That's almost half her weight that she had to hoist up to her shoulders. She is by no means buffed, but when were were done, she was so shocked that she could actually do it.
Just sayin' don't cut yourself short. You may be able to do more than you think, but if you are getting results, then that weight may be right for you. Keep it up!

ninerbuff

This happened to me the other night. These 2 ladies were sitting side by side in 2 different machines that I wanted to use. And they had a bunch of makeup on and trendy workout outfits talking about their woes & stress. I wanted to point them to the lobby chairs to carry on their conversation..very distracting while working out!

It's bad gym etiquette to dominate a machine with conversation while others are waiting. It's not impolite to ask how much longer or how many sets they have left. Most people who are considerate will either let you have it, or complete their workout so you can get on.
I ALWAYS run into people working out on a machine that I may need for a client to work out on and usually when I ask, they freely give it up or finish up. There are occasions that they may have just started and have 3 sets, but usually I have a back up exercise to compensate if it happens. Look to adjusting your workout a little if this happens.
But if their yapping away and not doing nothing, you're entitled to ask them if you can use the machine if they aren't.

ninerbuff

I think people need this talk with their eating as well.

My flatmate often moans at me about how it's unfair I am "so skinny" and she is always on a diet blah blah. But then I watch her eat fudge and icecream every night as a "treat" for going to the gym and her day is full of "healthy" things like pasta, or fruit smoothies - which are fine in moderation, but not at all conductive to her goals. Whenever I try to offer advice she gets super defensive - fair enough it is a sensitive thing, but it gets on my grill that she then whines.

And the exercise thing on top of that. If you leave the gym and you aren't even a little pink you know you aren't going to get anywhere!

It can be applied to so much in life. I have a cousin who does nothing, but complain about how much the government is spending on government jobs...................and he works for the government.

ninerbuff

If I am happy with the way my arms and shoulders look now, do I need to increase the weight I'm doing once it gets kinda easy, or should I stay where I am? I do 3 sets of 18 reps for most exercises, and I definitely feel it, but what would happen if I upped the weight and lowered the reps to, say, 15? Would I get bigger or more defined, 'cause I really don't want that. I just want to maintain.

Well no. I would only change it if you felt you wanted to be stronger or gain a little lean muscle on top of what you have. At 15 reps though, you wouldn't really build much muscle since that's training typical for muscular endurance. Reps for strength range anywhere from 6-8 reps and building mass 8-12 reps on average. Anything above 12 will usually involve more slow twitch fibers (endurance).

ninerbuff

If I am happy with the way my arms and shoulders look now, do I need to increase the weight I'm doing once it gets kinda easy, or should I stay where I am? I do 3 sets of 18 reps for most exercises, and I definitely feel it, but what would happen if I upped the weight and lowered the reps to, say, 15? Would I get bigger or more defined, 'cause I really don't want that. I just want to maintain.

18 reps is musclular endurance. Minimal if any muscle size gain.

Have a read of this.

I would recommend 3-4 sets of 8-12 reps for a good balance. When you reach the desired sets and reps then you increase the weight. If you aren't increasing weights then you aren't forcing you body to change which stagnates.

And you only mentioned arms and shoulders. Squat, deadlift, rows and pullups Same principles apply.

Lol, I just responded and said just about the same thing. Good job.

chrisdavey

haha, great minds hey

LauraMarie37

No that's not quite what I mean. Just that it's a sad reality yes, but overweight people typically ARE doing the wrong things. It's just a little obvious and a tad self-serving.

Ajon, I agree with you. (Ninerbuff, I know you'll jump all over me for this...) I feel like there are probably ZERO people at the gym who couldn't improve their workout in some way, overweight or otherwise. We could probably all learn something from other fitness-minded types there. But unless someone asks me, I'm not really going to spend my time worrying about how "inefficient" their wormout is. When they realize they need help, they'll ask. Until then, I'l concentrate on myself and the other people who have already asked me.

ninerbuff

Ajon, I agree with you. (Ninerbuff, I know you'll jump all over me for this...) I feel like there are probably ZERO people at the gym who couldn't improve their workout in some way, overweight or otherwise. We could probably all learn something from other fitness-minded types there. But unless someone asks me, I'm not really going to spend my time worrying about how "inefficient" their wormout is. When they realize they need help, they'll ask. Until then, I'l concentrate on myself and the other people who have already asked me.

Nah, no jump here. It's not your job to do it. But it is part of my job. If I see someone in the gym who may be doing an exercise completely wrong to where they could injure themselves or cause themselves future injury, it's just right to let them know. Whether or not they take the advice is up to them.

wonnder1

This happened to me the other night. These 2 ladies were sitting side by side in 2 different machines that I wanted to use. And they had a bunch of makeup on and trendy workout outfits talking about their woes & stress. I wanted to point them to the lobby chairs to carry on their conversation..very distracting while working out!

I usually just ask if I can get a set in while they're "resting"

I have to say though-does the OP subscribe to the whole Body For Life way of strength training? I've been thinking of that, but it seems like the high points would be way too high for me. Right now my heaviest weight is 20 lbs. (I'm also a laugher, cause if I can't have a good time, then there's no point for me to do anything. (But I can't laugh WHILE I'm doing anything, that time is reserved for trying to breathe.)

ninerbuff

I usually just ask if I can get a set in while they're "resting"

I have to say though-does the OP subscribe to the whole Body For Life way of strength training? I've been thinking of that, but it seems like the high points would be way too high for me. Right now my heaviest weight is 20 lbs. (I'm also a laugher, cause if I can't have a good time, then there's no point for me to do anything. (But I can't laugh WHILE I'm doing anything, that time is reserved for trying to breathe.)

It's fine to laugh at jokes and in conversation. My point was that these females "weren't serious" when they were working out and making it sound like they were. Heck I make jokes all the time at the gym............just not when a client is doing a set.

katherines2230

So glad you posted this. I've been working with a trainer for almost a month and he's been beating this over my head and it is sooo true. I can now see why I never got any results from lifting weights in the past. I wasn't lifting enough and didn't have proper form. I would also take like a 3 minute break or more in between sets. No I go hard or else I stay home because I'd just be wasting my time!

ninerbuff

So glad you posted this. I've been working with a trainer for almost a month and he's been beating this over my head and it is sooo true. I can now see why I never got any results from lifting weights in the past. I wasn't lifting enough and didn't have proper form. I would also take like a 3 minute break or more in between sets. No I go hard or else I stay home because I'd just be wasting my time!

You go girl!

Katie3784

If I am happy with the way my arms and shoulders look now, do I need to increase the weight I'm doing once it gets kinda easy, or should I stay where I am? I do 3 sets of 18 reps for most exercises, and I definitely feel it, but what would happen if I upped the weight and lowered the reps to, say, 15? Would I get bigger or more defined, 'cause I really don't want that. I just want to maintain.

18 reps is musclular endurance. Minimal if any muscle size gain.

Have a read of this.

I would recommend 3-4 sets of 8-12 reps for a good balance. When you reach the desired sets and reps then you increase the weight. If you aren't increasing weights then you aren't forcing you body to change which stagnates.

And you only mentioned arms and shoulders. Squat, deadlift, rows and pullups Same principles apply.

Thanks, man. My biggest problem with increasing weight is that my dumbells are 2,3,5,8,10,12,and 15lbs. I feel like going from 12 to 15 is too big of a jump, but I have yet to find anything between those two.

Dave351

NinerBuff...I'm a fan now! LOL You keep going with da tough love! After reading thru some of these threads I realize I may be on the wrong site! MFP is great for tracking a food plan but it's amazing how many people have no idea about nutrution and working out! I read one thread where a guy didn't know how to cook brown rice. OK, fair enough the guy was making an effort at eating something healthy and didn't know how to cook. But then the comments people wrote..."smother it in butter"..."mix it with this sauce"...really? Or another thread...what alcoholic drink has the least calories? it doesn't matter since alcohol inhibits the bodies ability to burn fat!

I see hella bad gym etiquette everyday! Amazing and disgusting in the same breath. You have guys AND girls dressin up like it's a fashion show or a meat market. That's all well and fine but talk on your cell, flirt, read a book over at Starbucks and let me get my workout on! Some people get mad when you ask to share a piece of equipment...then they just sit there taking a 15 minute break!! What the heck?!?!

Weight is realitive but one should always seek to lift more...eventually. Currently I can leg press 1600lbs (for reps & sets) but that didn't just happen! When I started I struggled with 180lbs. My wife started squatting a blank olympic bar (45lbs) but now she's up to almost 225lbs. The point is that you have to start somewhere and you should always seek improvement/advancement whether it be with more weight or more reps (depending on what your goals are).

I was in the Marine Corps thru a few armed conflicts. I trained with Aussies, SAS, and Republic of Korea Marines (there's a reason they are called Rock (ROK) Marines). I've helped a buddy train for Pro football walk-ons. I've had the opportunity to go thru a training session with the Vancouver Canucks and the Russian Olympic Hockey Team. My best bud is an Internationally ranked power lifter while his wife is about to get her pro card in women's bodybuilding. My wife is getting ACE certified and will probably compete in her first fitness show this year. In all of this there is one common thing in all of these military personnel and atheletes...they don't half-*kitten* their training or nutrition!! They don't make excuses! They "just do it!" If you live near Coronado Beach in SoCal or Norfolk, VA go and watch the SEALS train. You'll notice they don't take breaks and they don't make excuses. In the Marines they didn't care how much you sweat. Their mentality is that if you're not puking or pooping you're not training hard enough (sorry for the gross stuff)! OK, so I realize that the mentioned groups of people may be on the extreme side for most but there is a commonality in them all...Commitment! Intensity! Integrity! and the desire/drive to go above and beyond to acquire what they want! Not everyone has these things but they are not hard to develope with some patience and practice!

ninerbuff

NinerBuff...I'm a fan now! LOL You keep going with da tough love! After reading thru some of these threads I realize I may be on the wrong site! MFP is great for tracking a food plan but it's amazing how many people have no idea about nutrution and working out! I read one thread where a guy didn't know how to cook brown rice. OK, fair enough the guy was making an effort at eating something healthy and didn't know how to cook. But then the comments people wrote..."smother it in butter"..."mix it with this sauce"...really? Or another thread...what alcoholic drink has the least calories? it doesn't matter since alcohol inhibits the bodies ability to burn fat!

I see hella bad gym etiquette everyday! Amazing and disgusting in the same breath. You have guys AND girls dressin up like it's a fashion show or a meat market. That's all well and fine but talk on your cell, flirt, read a book over at Starbucks and let me get my workout on! Some people get mad when you ask to share a piece of equipment...then they just sit there taking a 15 minute break!! What the heck?!?!

Weight is realitive but one should always seek to lift more...eventually. Currently I can leg press 1600lbs (for reps & sets) but that didn't just happen! When I started I struggled with 180lbs. My wife started squatting a blank olympic bar (45lbs) but now she's up to almost 225lbs. The point is that you have to start somewhere and you should always seek improvement/advancement whether it be with more weight or more reps (depending on what your goals are).

I was in the Marine Corps thru a few armed conflicts. I trained with Aussies, SAS, and Republic of Korea Marines (there's a reason they are called Rock (ROK) Marines). I've helped a buddy train for Pro football walk-ons. I've had the opportunity to go thru a training session with the Vancouver Canucks and the Russian Olympic Hockey Team. My best bud is an Internationally ranked power lifter while his wife is about to get her pro card in women's bodybuilding. My wife is getting ACE certified and will probably compete in her first fitness show this year. In all of this there is one common thing in all of these military personnel and atheletes...they don't half-*kitten* their training or nutrition!! They don't make excuses! They "just do it!" If you live near Coronado Beach in SoCal or Norfolk, VA go and watch the SEALS train. You'll notice they don't take breaks and they don't make excuses. In the Marines they didn't care how much you sweat. Their mentality is that if you're not puking or pooping you're not training hard enough (sorry for the gross stuff)! OK, so I realize that the mentioned groups of people may be on the extreme side for most but there is a commonality in them all...Commitment! Intensity! Integrity! and the desire/drive to go above and beyond to acquire what they want! Not everyone has these things but they are not hard to develope with some patience and practice!

It doesn't matter what it is...........video games, piano playing, sports, poker, etc.......you get better by being consistent and repetition. The more you're consistent, the better you will get. Thanks for helping bump the discipline.

ninerbuff

NinerBuff...I'm a fan now! LOL You keep going with da tough love! After reading thru some of these threads I realize I may be on the wrong site! MFP is great for tracking a food plan but it's amazing how many people have no idea about nutrution and working out! I read one thread where a guy didn't know how to cook brown rice. OK, fair enough the guy was making an effort at eating something healthy and didn't know how to cook. But then the comments people wrote..."smother it in butter"..."mix it with this sauce"...really? Or another thread...what alcoholic drink has the least calories? it doesn't matter since alcohol inhibits the bodies ability to burn fat!

I see hella bad gym etiquette everyday! Amazing and disgusting in the same breath. You have guys AND girls dressin up like it's a fashion show or a meat market. That's all well and fine but talk on your cell, flirt, read a book over at Starbucks and let me get my workout on! Some people get mad when you ask to share a piece of equipment...then they just sit there taking a 15 minute break!! What the heck?!?!

Weight is realitive but one should always seek to lift more...eventually. Currently I can leg press 1600lbs (for reps & sets) but that didn't just happen! When I started I struggled with 180lbs. My wife started squatting a blank olympic bar (45lbs) but now she's up to almost 225lbs. The point is that you have to start somewhere and you should always seek improvement/advancement whether it be with more weight or more reps (depending on what your goals are).

I was in the Marine Corps thru a few armed conflicts. I trained with Aussies, SAS, and Republic of Korea Marines (there's a reason they are called Rock (ROK) Marines). I've helped a buddy train for Pro football walk-ons. I've had the opportunity to go thru a training session with the Vancouver Canucks and the Russian Olympic Hockey Team. My best bud is an Internationally ranked power lifter while his wife is about to get her pro card in women's bodybuilding. My wife is getting ACE certified and will probably compete in her first fitness show this year. In all of this there is one common thing in all of these military personnel and atheletes...they don't half-*kitten* their training or nutrition!! They don't make excuses! They "just do it!" If you live near Coronado Beach in SoCal or Norfolk, VA go and watch the SEALS train. You'll notice they don't take breaks and they don't make excuses. In the Marines they didn't care how much you sweat. Their mentality is that if you're not puking or pooping you're not training hard enough (sorry for the gross stuff)! OK, so I realize that the mentioned groups of people may be on the extreme side for most but there is a commonality in them all...Commitment! Intensity! Integrity! and the desire/drive to go above and beyond to acquire what they want! Not everyone has these things but they are not hard to develope with some patience and practice!

It doesn't matter what it is...........video games, piano playing, sports, poker, etc.......you get better by being consistent and repetition. The more you're consistent, the better you will get. Thanks for helping bump the discipline.

joejccva71

I totally bust *kitten* every time I train in the gym. I give every set and every rep 110%. I got paid a compliment a few weeks ago by some guy that said to me that he had never seen someone so dedicated and so hard working in a gym before as me. That made me feel really good.