How do you guys flirt?

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helenium
helenium Posts: 546 Member
in Chit-Chat
So I know the effects of flirting and what it means. I know people who are good at flirting. In fact I know everything about flirting, except...

How exactly do you flirt?

People recommend flirting to feel good about yourself and celebrate a more attractive body as we lose (or gain!) weight. But I wouldn't know what to say, what to do. I don't know what's considered flirty.

Nobody has ever flirted with me, so I can't judge from that!
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Replies

  • kater8er
    kater8er Posts: 364 Member
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    Oh Wow. I could write a book on this. Lol. The trick is to be yourself, honestly.
  • SetecAstronomy
    SetecAstronomy Posts: 470 Member
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    So I know the effects of flirting and what it means. I know people who are good at flirting. In fact I know everything about flirting, except...

    How exactly do you flirt?

    People recommend flirting to feel good about yourself and celebrate a more attractive body as we lose (or gain!) weight. But I wouldn't know what to say, what to do. I don't know what's considered flirty.

    Nobody has ever flirted with me, so I can't judge from that!
    (arches eyebrows) How YOU doin'? :D
  • cfred40
    cfred40 Posts: 151 Member
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    Hey baby what's ur sign?


    If you were a booger, I'de pick you everytime.
  • mrphil86
    mrphil86 Posts: 2,382 Member
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    Well, from my experience, it's not that hard.

    Flirting is mostly reading body language. People who have that "silver tongue," that's all that is. The actual talking part is easy.
  • alise_lmx
    alise_lmx Posts: 292 Member
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    I think it's easier to flirt through texting if you are just trying to figure it out. If you have a guy you are flirting with it can be really fun. My husband and I have been together 10 years and we try to keep things interesting by texting each other silly stuff throughout the day, just suggestive things to make ourselves excited to see each other when we get home from work.

    If you find the right person, it will be easier to figure out how to flirt, it comes kind of naturally. Good luck! :)
  • chefchazz
    chefchazz Posts: 427
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    Hey baby what's ur sign?


    If you were a booger, I'de pick you everytime.
    OMGEEZ!!!! i burst out laughing so loud i scared my sleeping dog!!!!
  • brattyworm
    brattyworm Posts: 2,137 Member
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    my husband asked me to teach him to flirt back when we first got together... hard to do such a thing..
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
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    LOL great flirting -
    I don't flirt - at my age it's too 'joan rivers' and just kind of creepy
    but I got a laugh from this post ty
  • irishgal44
    irishgal44 Posts: 1,181 Member
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    I think it's easier to flirt through texting if you are just trying to figure it out. If you have a guy you are flirting with it can be really fun. My husband and I have been together 10 years and we try to keep things interesting by texting each other silly stuff throughout the day, just suggestive things to make ourselves excited to see each other when we get home from work.

    If you find the right person, it will be easier to figure out how to flirt, it comes kind of naturally. Good luck! :)

    That's so sweet!!!!
  • alex215
    alex215 Posts: 518 Member
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    i usually just stare and breathe heavily... i heard girls love that!
  • helenium
    helenium Posts: 546 Member
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    Sort of makes sense. I don't get how flirting is just reading body language... Surely you have to DO something as well? Or say something?

    I guess texting makes sense. I'm the kind of person who gets really nervous sending texts until I get a reply with confirmation they don't hate me (in response to any text) so I'd have to get over that!

    Being myself is definitely not flirty. I have to make a big effort to be sociable. I've pretty much learned how to make friends with people now, so I've got that under control. I have mental illnesses which mean I'm not naturally sociable (I AM though! I just make a big effort compared to other people!)
  • Tivo8MyNeighbors
    Tivo8MyNeighbors Posts: 151 Member
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    This is such a good question :)

    Eyes --- catch the gaze of a guy you want to flirt with, make sure he sees you looking :) Hold his gaze for one, maybe two seconds at most, then drop your eyes, again for maybe one, two seconds, then "shyly" glance back up at him, and let him catch you glancing back up. Bingo! Haul him into the boat ;)

    Start a conversation --- Guys love to be asked to help (sappy, I know, but it works). In a library, casually go up, smile and ask a flirtable guy, "Excuse me, you look like someone who knows his way around here pretty well, could you help me find (insert book here) by (insert author here)?" Adapt to your surroundings (grocery store, art gallery, etc.)

    For the love of Pete, don't try this at bars. Ugh. Meat market! Everyone is flirting there, and it's like a cattle stampede. Better places: dog parks, galleries, bookstores, farmer's markets, train stations.

    Once you're talking and it seems like you're getting along, casually touching the guy lightly on the forearm as you talk (don't leave it there, just touch then stop) is always a good one. Also, mirror his body language. If he's leaning on one of his elbows, lean on one of your elbows (preferably the same side). Keep your body language "open," not defensive: no crossed arms, etc. Make your body faces his directly.

    Have fun! :)
  • overzoelous
    overzoelous Posts: 161 Member
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    OHH HAAAAY BOY, YO MAMA LET YOU DATE?

    Or, my personal favorite that always works for me:

    Me: You got a girlfriend?
    Man: No
    Me: Well you do now. Get up off your *kitten* and hold my hand.
  • meggers123
    meggers123 Posts: 711 Member
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    hmm... flirting? well, i suppose there's the obvious twirling your hair and giggling, but I have no idea about that.

    What I'd suggest:
    1. half-smile to show you're interested and give them a full smile when you talk to them
    2. eye contact, but not like creepy/staring contest. Look away/down after you've maintained like 3-4 seconds of eye contact.
    3. I've heard subtley touching your mouth (biting your lip, covering it to laugh) is somehow subconciously sexual... and thus maybe flirty (but maybe practice in a mirror so it doesn't look like you're making an effort).

    ---note: I have no clue if I flirt, but I'm doing my best giving this advice, so if it sucks don't hate on me. thanks---

    4. Be interested in what he says. Ask a follow up question. Also relate it to yourself if you have something in common, if not, ask him more about it,
    5. Don't creepy giggle at everything he says, but if he makes a funny go ahead and laugh.
    6. Be confident.
    7. Be nice.
    That's all I've got. Hopefully there are some sharks out there who are more up to speed on their flirty than me.
  • Libby81
    Libby81 Posts: 734 Member
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    If you were a booger, I'de pick you everytime.

    Ha ha that cracked me up
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
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    I start with the worst pick-up line I can possibly think of (as in cheesy and corny, not so much disgusting or perverted.) If she doesn't roll her eyes and walk away, I'm golden!

    Seriously, though, the big secret about flirting, most people don't even know they are doing it, it's about 99% subconscious. It's a feeling more than an activity, and it's all about being in a comfort zone with the person you're with to drop barriers and walls and just let go. It's all natural instinct, if you're consciously trying to flirt, it comes across as terribly fake and annoying, most of the time. Just be you, and when you are talking to someone you find attractive, just relax and let the conversation happen. Odds are you're flirting, whether you realize it or not.

    Oh, and finding someone attractive does not mean you want to date or do anything more than chat and flirt briefly.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    So I know the effects of flirting and what it means. I know people who are good at flirting. In fact I know everything about flirting, except...

    How exactly do you flirt?

    People recommend flirting to feel good about yourself and celebrate a more attractive body as we lose (or gain!) weight. But I wouldn't know what to say, what to do. I don't know what's considered flirty.

    Nobody has ever flirted with me, so I can't judge from that!

    Well hello there! flirtysmile1.gif
  • kamillavanilla
    kamillavanilla Posts: 3
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    Be yourself, be comfortable, and have fun :)

    When I flirt with my boyfriend, it's giggling, sly smiles, light teasing and touching, lowering my voice, leaning in close, eye contact...

    Really, I don't think there's too much of a trick to it, just try to have fun in the moment with the person you are intending to flirt with. You make it sound like you might have a bit of social anxiety, which I have had problems with myself. Some things that I used to do in the past that are flirt-killers are crossing your arms (makes it seem like you're separating yourself from the situation/not letting yourself in fully), offering one-word answers to questions, not allowing eye contact...Don't do anything you're super-uncomfortable yourself with, your own discomfort may show through, but do try to push your own boundaries when you feel ready.

    Sitting with your knees toward a person is a subconscious way of saying you're interested in them. And definitely ask them about themselves, try to get to know them. Letting someone know that you have an interest in them for themselves is always a good thing :)

    Hope this helped a little bit! I used to read articles on Wikihow about how to flirt, lol; maybe some of those would help you out, too?
  • Lantern823
    Lantern823 Posts: 115
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    I have absolutely no idea how to flirt, seems like im the only one
  • helenium
    helenium Posts: 546 Member
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    Be yourself, be comfortable, and have fun :)

    When I flirt with my boyfriend, it's giggling, sly smiles, light teasing and touching, lowering my voice, leaning in close, eye contact...

    Really, I don't think there's too much of a trick to it, just try to have fun in the moment with the person you are intending to flirt with. You make it sound like you might have a bit of social anxiety, which I have had problems with myself. Some things that I used to do in the past that are flirt-killers are crossing your arms (makes it seem like you're separating yourself from the situation/not letting yourself in fully), offering one-word answers to questions, not allowing eye contact...Don't do anything you're super-uncomfortable yourself with, your own discomfort may show through, but do try to push your own boundaries when you feel ready.

    Sitting with your knees toward a person is a subconscious way of saying you're interested in them. And definitely ask them about themselves, try to get to know them. Letting someone know that you have an interest in them for themselves is always a good thing :)

    Hope this helped a little bit! I used to read articles on Wikihow about how to flirt, lol; maybe some of those would help you out, too?

    Thank you! I'll look on Wikihow and eHow. I never thought to Google!?

    I do have social anxiety actually (though it's the least problematic of my diagnosed mental illnesses so I often forget - except, of course, in social situations).

    I'm starting to get an idea of what flirting actually IS now... it's a way of conversing with someone rather than a particular string of words, or actions. You flirt while doing something else, rather than flirting being this stand-alone activity.

    Unfortunately this is so far removed from how I actually converse with people in real life... I'm not sure if I could ever learn to be half as sociable in real life.

    When I speak to people, I am usually facing and looking at a 90 degree angle to them. I never make eye contact and my body language is ... well, I never got the hang of it, so I have no idea what it's like... I guess I'd describe it as "closed". I'm usually nervous (if it's a person I don't know) and I am not good at stringing together long sentences without having to pause or 'um'...

    I promise I'm a nice person when you get to know me though :(

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