How do you guys flirt?

13

Replies

  • helenium
    helenium Posts: 546 Member
    It's usually just awkward (this is only from a sample of two people, so this might not be true forever) and I feel really, really uncomfortable around them, and I have an overwhelming urge to stay but an overwhelming urge to leave and I don't know what to do really.

    I just want to point out that this is a 100% completely normal reaction. That's how just about everybody reacts when they have a crush on someone. They want to be near that person all the time, but then they don't want to say something stupid that makes the person go away, so they want to avoid that person at the same time. It's something everybody goes through.

    Thank you, that's reassuring :)
  • Ajontheguitar
    Ajontheguitar Posts: 695
    I'll never give away my secrets. It's been a long time since I A) was good looking enough to pull it off and B) tried to, but I would put me up against any flirter ever. I have a gift with people.
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    I'll never give away my secrets. It's been a long time since I A) was good looking enough to pull it off and B) tried to, but I would put me up against any flirter ever. I have a gift with people.


    Okay... this is not true!! A - you are good looking enough to pull it off. And B - you flirt with me everyday. :P
  • Ajontheguitar
    Ajontheguitar Posts: 695
    It's much different in person :p
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    It's much different in person :p

    wanna find out.... :D
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    Flirting performs a specific function, finding a mate, and if that's not your intention and the other party thinks it is, you may find yourself in an awkward situation. Flirt if you want to get to know someone in THAT way. One of my friends has ended up cheating on her husband after what started as just flirting.

    I'm afraid I disagree. 'Finding a mate' as you put it, is only one of the reasons to flirt. It can also just be plain fun, making you feel good as well as the other person, it's just a matter of keeping things light, and not crossing lines. Flirting does not a cheater make.

    People who 'understand the rules' may flirt recreationally, but if you really don't get flirting, but are trying to do it, this may not be what comes across. I'm not saying flirting necessarily leads to anything more, but that was its original function, and I want the OP to stay safe, not end up being accused of 'leading someone on'. There are men out there who would still see it that way.
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    Firstly, personally, I wouldn't risk flirting 'to feel good about myself' if it wasn't something that came naturally to me. Flirting performs a specific function, finding a mate, and if that's not your intention and the other party thinks it is, you may find yourself in an awkward situation. Flirt if you want to get to know someone in THAT way. One of my friends has ended up cheating on her husband after what started as just flirting.

    Having been in a long term relationship for years at college, when I was single again I was surprised to find that what had been just conversations when I was attached, were suddenly flirting. If the 'chemistry' is there, just talking happily is flirting.

    I knew all the 'tricks' when I was single, but I never consciously used them, I just watched them 'happen' at all the right times.

    Thanks for the advice. I guess it doesn't come naturally to me I should probably avoid it. But even so I'd love to be able to recognise when someone else is flirting (if it's possible to flirt with someone who doesn't realise you're trying to flirt with them). I was absolutely certain nobody had ever flirted with me when I started this thread, but now I realise I had no idea what it was and wouldn't pick up on it even if I did know.

    I don't get the 'chemistry' very often, especially for people I have known for under a month. I've had two specific interests so far and they made me feel awful! (the interests rather than the people themselves). I was also obese and unhappy about it at the time so I just wanted to curl up and hope everything would go away!

    I wonder if, really, what you still need to do is work on liking yourself. Maybe when you gain that type of confidence, the flirting will come naturally.

    From a flirting point of view I suspect 'chemistry' for me is just finding someone whose speech pattern complements mine (no long silences, blank looks, etc.).
  • HollieDoodles
    HollieDoodles Posts: 678 Member
    i dont flirt, because i know how badly every woman alive wants me


    It's so nice that you don't have to waste any of your valuable energy flirting, since they all flock to you anyway. ;)
  • Krull_the_WarriorKing
    Krull_the_WarriorKing Posts: 650 Member
    Who wants to come to my house and be my teacher? Make me flirt better.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    It's much different in person :p

    wanna find out.... :D

    for the original poster: the above conversation is a very nice example of online flirting :)

    (and to the flirters: that just made me smile SO big. you guys are cute)
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    Who wants to come to my house and be my teacher? Make me flirt better.

    I used to be a teacher (NOT a flirt teacher)...does that count?
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    I'm a horrible flirt. I don't even bother anymore.

    So...now you just stand there shirtless and let the girls drool, huh? hehehe...
  • MisterDubs303
    MisterDubs303 Posts: 1,216 Member
    a) did you see AJ and JulieCat? JulieCat's a master.

    b) I don't know anything about flirting, but sometimes recognizing opposites is helpful. For example, I would suggest NOT bringing up the whole mental illness thing at least until you've got the guy handcuffed to the bed. Mentioning that does not qualify as flirting.
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    It's much different in person :p

    wanna find out.... :D

    for the original poster: the above conversation is a very nice example of online flirting :)

    (and to the flirters: that just made me smile SO big. you guys are cute)

    Aw! Glad we could make you smile. Really.... AJ is phenomenal and I just cant help myself. :)
  • SkateboardFi
    SkateboardFi Posts: 1,322 Member
    posting a reply so it's under my topics and i can read this later lol
  • Ajontheguitar
    Ajontheguitar Posts: 695
    Yay for the love for me! lol
  • cfred40
    cfred40 Posts: 151 Member
    Hey baby what's ur sign?


    If you were a booger, I'de pick you everytime.

    Fred is the *best* flirt ever!! hahaha

    I get accused of being a flirt all the time. There may or may not be truth to this... hehe I honestly love hearing and learning about peoples lives and experiences. So for me, I ask questions, get involved, lean in close and listen. Body language is major. Sly little touches. Not crossing your arms and closing off. Eye contact. Most of it is making the person you are flirting with feel good and special. And in turn, they will do the same to you. And CONFIDENCE!! Work on that!! Stay up on current events, sports, learn some corny jokes... those things all keep the conversation going.
    Like someone else said.... when you find the right person... it will just click. They will get you

    Lol. What I lack in substance I make up for with style. So tell me Julie, can I see the tag on your shirt, cause you must have been made in heaven girl!
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    Hey baby what's ur sign?


    If you were a booger, I'de pick you everytime.

    Fred is the *best* flirt ever!! hahaha

    I get accused of being a flirt all the time. There may or may not be truth to this... hehe I honestly love hearing and learning about peoples lives and experiences. So for me, I ask questions, get involved, lean in close and listen. Body language is major. Sly little touches. Not crossing your arms and closing off. Eye contact. Most of it is making the person you are flirting with feel good and special. And in turn, they will do the same to you. And CONFIDENCE!! Work on that!! Stay up on current events, sports, learn some corny jokes... those things all keep the conversation going.
    Like someone else said.... when you find the right person... it will just click. They will get you

    Lol. What I lack in substance I make up for with style. So tell me Julie, can I see the tag on your shirt, cause you must have been made in heaven girl!



    I just fell in love. <3
  • cfred40
    cfred40 Posts: 151 Member


    I just fell in love. <3

    Call 911, you just took my breath away.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    I have no idea how to flirt. I just show up to places and let other people do the work.
  • katya73
    katya73 Posts: 464
    Hello there .... I do think it's just a matter of relaxing and not thinking about it to much ... Otherwise it comes across as desperate ... If you feel attracted to someone and he to you and The physical attraction is all there ... Then the flirting will actually come naturally ! ... However having said that ... If you just want to get to know someone and want to start flirting ... Just be yourself and show interest in the individual ... pay him a compliment .. Laugh at his jokes ... Ect .. Try and find a common ground to chat about :)
  • Rocki_
    Rocki_ Posts: 165 Member
    I still say it is tougher on a guy to be rejected then it is for a lady.

    WOW! I'm afraid I have to disagree. I think rejection is hard no matter if you are male or female. So sayeth the female who's been rejected far more times than not.

    It sucks!!

    :tongue:
  • ChantalGG
    ChantalGG Posts: 2,404 Member
    I dont flirt, i just joke around.
  • Rocki_
    Rocki_ Posts: 165 Member
    It's much different in person :p

    wanna find out.... :D

    for the original poster: the above conversation is a very nice example of online flirting :)

    (and to the flirters: that just made me smile SO big. you guys are cute)

    Aw! Glad we could make you smile. Really.... AJ is phenomenal and I just cant help myself. :)

    You three just made me grin a mile wide! And this at the end of a very long day. Thank you!! :-)
  • Rocki_
    Rocki_ Posts: 165 Member
    Hello there .... I do think it's just a matter of relaxing and not thinking about it to much ... Otherwise it comes across as desperate ... If you feel attracted to someone and he to you and The physical attraction is all there ... Then the flirting will actually come naturally ! ... However having said that ... If you just want to get to know someone and want to start flirting ... Just be yourself and show interest in the individual ... pay him a compliment .. Laugh at his jokes ... Ect .. Try and find a common ground to chat about :)

    And I know JUST who to practice with!! :) All this talk of flirting has me wanting to hone my skills a little... :)
  • wcasie
    wcasie Posts: 299 Member
    Hey baby what's ur sign?


    If you were a booger, I'de pick you everytime.
    OMGEEZ!!!! i burst out laughing so loud i scared my sleeping dog!!!!


    LOL I laughed so hard at you scaring your dog that my boyfriend came in to see what was so funny lol
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
    Oh dear. all I'm getting is a song by Kevin Bloody Wilson...
    "do you f*** on first dates?"
    "Does your Dad own a brewery?"
    "Can I feel your tits, or would you show em to me?"

    Just get out there and get into it. Alcohol helps. :D
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
    How about the best pickup line in the history of the world

    "does this cloth smell like chloroform to you?"
  • texas7005
    texas7005 Posts: 26
    It just comes natural lol : )
  • suzycreamcheese
    suzycreamcheese Posts: 1,766 Member
    im a rubbish flirt. I get all uncomfortable when people flirt with me. The only time i can do it is if im actually properly interested in someone in that way
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