Have you ever cheated on your spouse?
Replies
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No. I have never and never would cheat on my husband. I love, like and respect him too much for that. We have been together for 12 years and married for 11. Has it all been easy or smooth sailing? No. Marriage, like any good relationship takes work. We started our journey together as friends and we made a comittment to each other to see it through " till death do us part". I think what makes our marriage work is keeping a sense of humor. We laugh a lot. He makes me smile. I value his opinion. He's the person I most want to be with every day. I genuinely like the man he is. He's my best friend. Why would I want to hurt the person who means the world to me? We have discussed this topic and I know we both feel the same way. I would end our marriage completely before I woud betray his trust. It's not worth the risk of losing what I have with my husband.0
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Frankly I am appauled that someone would ask this in an online forum. . that is discusting. . First of all marriage is a sacred union. and if this has been violated it is certainly not up for public opinion. . .
In the future please refrain from such topics as it offends those of us that believe in the sanctity of marriage. . .
I don't think it was the original poster's intent to condone infidelity. I believe that marriage is sacred, but I also believe that things happen and life doesn't always work out the way we wish it would. Just like in real life, there are a wide variety of people on MFP. You're bound to find one that's done something you don't agree with.
Didn't say they were condoning it in any sense of the word. . but this is not the place to talk about such things. . . this is not a subject for public discussion. . .
Says who?
You?
Get over yourself, cupcake.
Seriously. . I am CHRISTIAN lady and you just don't do this.. . People make mistakes. . we don't need to air them publicly and humiliate people. . these are things that need to be worked through behind closed doors. .0 -
"In the future please refrain from such topics as it offends those of us that believe in the sanctity of marriage. . . "
I think in the future you shouldn't post in topics that offend you. Do you watch tv shows that offend you and then complain about them? There have been 3 pages of replies to this topic so obviously others aren't offended.
Sweeping issues under the carpet and not talking about them is not healthy.
And for the record, my answer is no and I never would. I love my wife and would never betray her. I could never look her in the eye again without feeling terrible. If my marriage were in trouble I would try to work it out but if that weren't possible and I wanted to be with someone else, I would get a divorce.
No for the record I actually don't watch much TELEVISION. . as there are a lot of controversial topics on there. . Things that don't coincide with my beliefs as a christian. . I am not going to put on smut tv in front of my ten year old.
I believe that marriage is sacred. . I also believe where there is infidelidy. . there is also room for healing. . But you don't post your life online. . It is none of anyone elses business. . .0 -
"In the future please refrain from such topics as it offends those of us that believe in the sanctity of marriage. . . "
I think in the future you shouldn't post in topics that offend you. Do you watch tv shows that offend you and then complain about them? There have been 3 pages of replies to this topic so obviously others aren't offended.
Sweeping issues under the carpet and not talking about them is not healthy.
And for the record, my answer is no and I never would. I love my wife and would never betray her. I could never look her in the eye again without feeling terrible. If my marriage were in trouble I would try to work it out but if that weren't possible and I wanted to be with someone else, I would get a divorce.
No for the record I actually don't watch much TELEVISION. . as there are a lot of controversial topics on there. . Things that don't coincide with my beliefs as a christian. . I am not going to put on smut tv in front of my ten year old.
I believe that marriage is sacred. . I also believe where there is infidelidy. . there is also room for healing. . But you don't post your life online. . It is none of anyone elses business. . .
As far as SWEEPING IT UNDER THE CARPET> . . there is a HUGE difference between counseling. . and POSTING YOUR dirty laundry on the INTERNET. . .0 -
Oh **** guys, it's getting caps lock serious.
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It's healthy to talk about things and as a christian l would of thought judging others was frowned apon - if you don't like the tone of the conversation don't read it.
My reading is the majority of people on here are saying they haven't and wouldn't cheat (l'm happily married and would never cheat), those that have are not saying everyone should give it a go, just people sharing their thoughts and experiences as adults can do.0 -
We get it Jade, you are a really good Christian and are REALLY going to heaven. Like extra heaven.
If you are worried about "Things that don't coincide with my beliefs as a christian", I don't think the internet is a safe place for you.
It's funny how some of the peace and love good times people cause the biggest issues. We're just talking here.0 -
Didn't say they were condoning it in any sense of the word. . but this is not the place to talk about such things. . . this is not a subject for public discussion. . .
Seriously you are annoying me now. Don't read it if you don't want too. Wow0 -
Seriously. . I am CHRISTIAN lady and you just don't do this.. . People make mistakes. . we don't need to air them publicly and humiliate people. . these are things that need to be worked through behind closed doors. .
> CHRISTIAN
what's that got to do with anything? Please don't bring your religion into this discussion. I find it offensive. It's not suitable to be discussed here.
> humiliate people
Who's being humiliated? I think people are being very honest, and nobody is holding a gun to their head to make them confess anything.
As it happens, I wouldn't ever cheat on my husband. However, I would never judge somebody else who does, or worry about a group of strangers on an online community who want to discuss it.
If the concept is an anathema to you then why did you even click to open the thread?
Seriously Petal... if you're this tight lipped about life outside of your world then the internet is really no place for you. It's full of scary people who hold different opinions, views and values. Either learn that the world does not necessarily work the way you think it should, or leave it alone.0 -
on my first boyfriend when i was 16 i did, but it was a f**ked up relationship, and i regretted it, and ive never done it since, not even when times have been really bad. Im very monogamous.0
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It is the internet, people can post as they see fit. The OP simply asked a question, no one is being 'publicly humiliated' no one is being forced to answer the question.
The title of the topic is pretty self explanatory, if you find talking about cheating to be offensive, then why open the topic in the first place? It is a public forum, where there are people fro all walks of life and will have different opinions. Most people aren't condoning cheating, just discussing their experiences and opinions on the topic. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and we should be able to discuss what we want since we are all adults here.
I know that I am in a pretty small minority, but personally I don't believe in marriage or monogamy. I believe, and know from experience that you can have a happy and healthy relationship that isn't monogamous.0 -
Seriously. . I am CHRISTIAN lady and you just don't do this.. . People make mistakes. . we don't need to air them publicly and humiliate people. . these are things that need to be worked through behind closed doors. .
> CHRISTIAN
what's that got to do with anything? Please don't bring your religion into this discussion. I find it offensive. It's not suitable to be discussed here.
> humiliate people
Who's being humiliated? I think people are being very honest, and nobody is holding a gun to their head to make them confess anything.
As it happens, I wouldn't ever cheat on my husband. However, I would never judge somebody else who does, or worry about a group of strangers on an online community who want to discuss it.
If the concept is an anathema to you then why did you even click to open the thread?
Seriously Petal... if you're this tight lipped about life outside of your world then the internet is really no place for you. It's full of scary people who hold different opinions, views and values. Either learn that the world does not necessarily work the way you think it should, or leave it alone.
^ Agreed!0 -
"In the future please refrain from such topics as it offends those of us that believe in the sanctity of marriage. . . "
I think in the future you shouldn't post in topics that offend you. Do you watch tv shows that offend you and then complain about them? There have been 3 pages of replies to this topic so obviously others aren't offended.
Sweeping issues under the carpet and not talking about them is not healthy.
And for the record, my answer is no and I never would. I love my wife and would never betray her. I could never look her in the eye again without feeling terrible. If my marriage were in trouble I would try to work it out but if that weren't possible and I wanted to be with someone else, I would get a divorce.
No for the record I actually don't watch much TELEVISION. . as there are a lot of controversial topics on there. . Things that don't coincide with my beliefs as a christian. . I am not going to put on smut tv in front of my ten year old.
I believe that marriage is sacred. . I also believe where there is infidelidy. . there is also room for healing. . But you don't post your life online. . It is none of anyone elses business. . .
Posts such as this make it difficult for people like myself to group myself with people you since I also am a Christian. You speak as though you speak for all Christians, which you most certainly do not. It's difficult for some Christians to be accepted in certain parts of the Internet because of the ones who act self-righteous, holier-than-thou, and as if they simply know everything and can do no wrong...cause those are the most outspoken and everyone else judges all Christians based on the actions of a remote few...
I do agree with you when speak about the sacredness of marriage. But, quite frankly, your insistence that speaking about infidelity on a public discussion board is "wrong" is insanely annoying, and the implication that it is un-Christianlike is very offensive to Christians are don't go around judging others all the time and believes that the ability to speak openly and honestly is actually a good thing. I don't recall anyone here judging the other posters or humiliating them. This topic is a real life concern that even Christians deal with. Nowhere in my Bible does God tell me to not talk about problems with others. But if you are truly offended, then don't post! And don't continue to check the thread to read the other posts! Why would you put yourself through that? I mean, do you WANT to get offended?
But back to the original topic...
No I have never cheated on my husband. I was cheated on by my ex-boyfriend, and our relationship was forever changed. It's hard to even list all of the emotional garbage that is attached to being cheated on, and even in a dating relationship where you are very young, it is incredibly painful and sometimes difficult to get past. I remember feeling humilated and even guilty...let along all the feelings of not being good enough...not being pretty enough...not being that *something* that a guy wants in a relationship. I can't imagine ever doing that to someone, and I am saddened when I hear of other people doing it. I just don't think there's ever a good reason or excuse for it. If you want to be with someone else, then you don't want to be with the person you are with...so break it off and then go for that other person. It saves a lot of feelings. If he would have broken up with me, it would have still sucked, but still been easier to deal with than being cheated on first.0 -
Posts such as this make it difficult for people like myself to group myself with people you since I also am a Christian. You speak as though you speak for all Christians, which you most certainly do not. It's difficult for some Christians to be accepted in certain parts of the Internet because of the ones who act self-righteous, holier-than-thou, and as if they simply know everything and can do no wrong...cause those are the most outspoken and everyone else judges all Christians based on the actions of a remote few...
I do agree with you when speak about the sacredness of marriage. But, quite frankly, your insistence that speaking about infidelity on a public discussion board is "wrong" is insanely annoying, and the implication that it is un-Christianlike is very offensive to Christians are don't go around judging others all the time and believes that the ability to speak openly and honestly is actually a good thing. I don't recall anyone here judging the other posters or humiliating them. This topic is a real life concern that even Christians deal with. Nowhere in my Bible does God tell me to not talk about problems with others. But if you are truly offended, then don't post! And don't continue to check the thread to read the other posts! Why would you put yourself through that? I mean, do you WANT to get offended?
If mfp had a 'Like' button I'd be pressing it about now.
Thankfully I have a lot of Christian friends, and would never judge them all based on the actions or attitudes of one. Same as I wouldn't for anyone of any faith.0 -
We get it Jade, you are a really good Christian and are REALLY going to heaven. Like extra heaven.
BWAHAHAHAHA!! Extra Heaven!! Oh, I like you.0 -
I'm doubled over in laughter!!! OMG, I'm pure evil. ***Bite you tongue Odus!***
But the answer the question, No, I have never cheated on anyone emotionally, physically or chemically :huh:
I have been cheated on, however. Fortunately, none of them are alive to tell their side of the story.
hahahahahaha0 -
Oh **** guys, it's getting caps lock serious.
HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA0 -
We get it Jade, you are a really good Christian and are REALLY going to heaven. Like extra heaven.
omg i am dieing laughing0 -
Nope!0
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I wasn't going to post on this (because I think enough people have) but after reading Jade's vehemence, i had to post. I too am a Christian and I also have cheated on my husband. Not my current one but the one I was married to when I was 22. The reason I admit to that (even in church) is that other people can learn from my mistakes, I am not airing my dirt and i am not minimizing the sanctity of marriage. My husband and I got "till death do us part" tattooed on our arms because we are committed to making it work no matter what!
Why did I cheat? Because I was young and dumb and, many times drunk. He and I were both alcoholics (still are just not active) the way I saw it, he "cheated" on me with a bottle of booze every night and was unable to give me love so I looked for it in other ways. If I could go back and change that I would but I can't so I am making my amends by not ever doing it again. Yes, marriage is sacred, I am fully committed to my husband and to staying together no matter what but if my life experience can keep someone else who may be considering cheating decide not to cheat then I am going to share that experience. My husband knows about my past and he has a bit of a complex about it, that just goes to show how choices made in past relationships can effect your current relationship. Luckily my hubby trusts me, and believes me when I saw I was not in a mentally stable place in my life. i should have never married my ex, but I was young and dumb and learned a lot about it. I am greatful that my God forgives and that he brought me back into contact with the man I was made for.0 -
Well then I guess the ones who are Muslim, Buddists, Taoists, Wicken, Agnostic or Atheist don't have to worry about doing it then...................Seriously. . I am CHRISTIAN lady and you just don't do this.. . People make mistakes. . we don't need to air them publicly and humiliate people. . these are things that need to be worked through behind closed doors. .
There's no names being mentioned so where's the humility? Again, it's not your place to tell people what can post. It's a discussion. 0 -
"In the future please refrain from such topics as it offends those of us that believe in the sanctity of marriage. . . "
I think in the future you shouldn't post in topics that offend you. Do you watch tv shows that offend you and then complain about them? There have been 3 pages of replies to this topic so obviously others aren't offended.
Sweeping issues under the carpet and not talking about them is not healthy.
And for the record, my answer is no and I never would. I love my wife and would never betray her. I could never look her in the eye again without feeling terrible. If my marriage were in trouble I would try to work it out but if that weren't possible and I wanted to be with someone else, I would get a divorce.
No for the record I actually don't watch much TELEVISION. . as there are a lot of controversial topics on there. . Things that don't coincide with my beliefs as a christian. . I am not going to put on smut tv in front of my ten year old.
I believe that marriage is sacred. . I also believe where there is infidelidy. . there is also room for healing. . But you don't post your life online. . It is none of anyone elses business. . .
As far as SWEEPING IT UNDER THE CARPET> . . there is a HUGE difference between counseling. . and POSTING YOUR dirty laundry on the INTERNET. . .
CHRISTIAN...lol. So that gives you a pass. Child please. You post your dirty laundry to your pastor and let us post our dirty laundry on the internet if we want to. You remember the scriptures, "Judge not unless you be judged." I just hope your pastor is not Zachary Tims, Jim Baker, Earl Paulk, Paul Shepherd, Ted Haggard, Eddie Long, Rick Hawkins, Willie Thornton---the last one is my father who was a pastor who cheated on my mother for years. So don't bring up Christianity as if it immunes you to cheating. SMH.0 -
NEVER and NEVER will!
Cheating is the the most undignified thing a human being can do among other horrendous atrocities.0 -
Nah, he's alright.0
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I have never been married (and more likely never will) or in serious relationship, so I haven't cheated. I actually never cheated when I was casually dating someone. Then again, there isn't any line behind my door, so...
And no, I wouldn't cheat if I was in relationship.0 -
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My husband and i have been married for 13 years, as of last week. We both cheated very early in our marriage and it sucked as much to be the cheater as to be the cheated on. It took a lot of time, but I have to say our trust in each other has actually grown from this. I know how much it tore him up when he cheated and I know he knows its not worth it, and vis versa. Oh, and I am a Christian, and there have been many times in the last 12 years that we have been able to use this experience to help other couples. Now when he goes to Iraq for a year, I know he is being faithful there, and he knows he has no worries about me here.0
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My sentiments exactly.0 -
nope, never! i have been with my husband for 10 years and married for almost 6. i dont really believe in cheating. in my opinion if you feel the need to be with someone else then you shouldnt be with the person you are commited to. but to each their own.0
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NOPE! and never would! think its discusting! if you feel the need to cheat get out of the relationship!!!!!!0
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