Confession of a former (almost) 500lbs guy

theresamommyof4

I was looking for a particular pair of boots under my bed through the week, and I found two separate carrier bags with chocolate bars and crisps, sweets, some uneaten, some empty wrappers, that I stashed as an emergency, cos I didn't want anyone to know about, or share. It brought back some weird emotions, not only the fact that they were there in the first place but that I was the sort of person that did that.
I would not eat till maybe three or four in the afternoon, but boy did I make up for it. I would go to shop before I picked the kids up from school and get whatever chocolate bars were on offer - 3 for a pound or whatever - it made me feel better than spending more on them, then sit in the car and eat them. I would hide food under my bed, in my wardrobe, in the car, handbag, jacket pockets, on top of cupboards, anywhere really. I would eat huge portions of dinner and leftovers from kids plates, during the evening I would retrieve some of my stash from wherever and shut myself in the loo and ram in into my face without tasting or even enjoying it. Thats what makes me sad, when I have my meals now, I look forward to them, I enjoy them. The old me barely tasted anything, just crammed stuff in to numb whatever I was feeling at the time, I'm amazed that after 30 years of abuse (started as an early teen) that I was only 70lbs overweight, and not 200lbs.
Its refreshing to hear others stories, I love how people can be open on here, no-one knows this in my 'real' life, it makes me feel that I am not a freak or a weirdo for doing those things, I just hope that those days are gone forever...oh, and case you were wondering, those carriers bags, I binned them

This story kills me! I'm sitting here about to cry! Ugh! It hits so close to home. I didn't hide stuff under the bed or in closets, but we have two bread baskets that sit on top of the fridge that 3 of my 4 kids can't reach, so that's where I stuffed my stash. Then I'd wait for them to go to bed and eat until I was sick... not even enjoying a bite of it. Couldn't really even taste it, I was shoveling it in so fast. And like you, I can't understand why I didn't weigh more than I did. My husband is a big guy... 250 lbs and almost solid muscle, and I could out eat him any day. I'd seriously finish my food, work on his plate then eat my kid's left overs.

I pigged out again last weekend (not to that extent at all) but I did eat a lot of cookies and other junk, and the light came on. I just sat there thinking "these aren't even GOOD ENOUGH for me to allow past my lips!" But all week long I thought about why I ate what I did last weekend, and I've decided I was nervous about my husband leaving on a business trip. I turn to food when I flip out about stuff. He was in San Diego, CA all last week and the entire city lost power on Thursday. For a while the FBI couldn't confirm that it wasn't terror related. I was so scared and so upset, I wanted noting more than to sit down with a big load of food. I stood in the kitchen and stared at it And then I walked away. Whew!

I don't know what it is about food that has had such a strong hold on us! I'm just so grateful that day by day, we're working through it I'm really proud of us all

gogonunubean

If we had had guests over and there was a bag of potato chips with a small amount left in it, I would eat them and then go and buy another bag - eat through that one and leave just a few in the bottom so it looked like it was the first bag.

Oh - and then there was the time I ate an entire of wedge of brie like an apple :blushing:

And I got so angry with my husband when he went through my purse. I yelled at him saying he was rude going through my possesions, but really I was embarressed because I had hidden sausage mcmuffin wrappers inside!

I have learned that there is no point lying to anyone else, if I am lying to myself. I have held myself accountable and won't allow myself to pretend it didn't happen anymore.

That is my promise to myself :happy:

marzahl68

I never ate secretly. No hiding wrappers or pretending I wasn't over eating. My husband and daugther and everyone else knows that I enjoy eating. Love Doritos, love McDonalds. I always figured anyone can tell that I'm overweight anyway, lying about it didn't make any sense.
I never had secret stashes but I now hide my Cream Cheese Special K Cereal bars (90 cals only) from my daugther because she likes them so much.

newmeat30

I used to go to the same drive thru over and over again getting the same order (on almost a daily basis). As soon as the person in the drive thur line commented about seeing me again or asked if I wanted "the usual" I would get so embarassed that I would stop going to that place and start going to a new one until I was recognized.

Jack in the Box: Large Coke, 4 piece chicken, 3 mozzeralla sticks, 5 mini churros (1552 calories, 2459 mg sodium, 217 carbs)
Burger King: Large Frozen Coke, 9 chicken fries, apple fries, funnel cake stix (910 calories)
Dunkin Donuts: turkey, bacon, cheddar melt, 3 strawberry frosted donuts (1250 calories, 2160 mg sodium, 132 carbs)
Chickfila: 4 piece chicken minis, hashbrowns, cinnamon cluster, Large coke (1320 caloires, 1575 mg sodium, 198 carbs)

Looking at all of those numbers is pretty scary. Scary just for one meal...but heck, I was eating one of those "meals" almost every day for 3 years. And yes, I was ashamed and embarassed. I'd hide the food wrappers. If my husband asked if I had eaten yet, I'd pretend that I hadn't eaten anything and then we'd go out to eat something else.

I am soooooo glad those days are behind me now.

AngelaWeber

Favorite/worst meal: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, Large Fries, Diet Chemicals...err Coke, entire pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

I'm not prepared to say I'm out of the weeds yet, so I can't use past-tense.
My name is Lisa and I am a secret-car-in-a-dark-parking-lot-eater, a cake-evener-outer, a left-over thief, a perpetual over-portioner, a binge buyer, a sucker for seconds (and thirdsies)...

People who don't believe that food addiction is a real thing are insane. We are all describing behaviors of addicts. Food addicts that can't go cold turkey. MPFers are the ish!

I am/was totally the same way..Only while eating in the car, I would stop in mid-chew if another car pulled up next to me or if I felt they could see me in the rearview mirror. I wouldn't eatt in the car unless I was sure no one was paying attention. I didn't want to feel the shame I guess. I know my downside is portions and second's and thirdsies :-). Not a huge junk eater but love FOOD like meats, potatoes, etc. I would also snack after 10p eating leftovers or just a whole different meal like a lunchmeat sandwich and chips. I didn't want to use the microwave to heat up the leftovers at that time of night because I didnt want my hubby to know I was eating "again".

Brandicaloriecountess

You have made amazing changes, and your honesty is refreshing


For me, I would stop on my way home from work/school for a soda and candy bar. I tried not to go to the same store so that I wouldn't be seen by the same clerk all the time.... then snack on something, eat dinner and then dessert with my bff, who was my roommate at the time. We totally enabled each other!!!

tmiqueen

First, let me say that it's AWESOME that you not only recognized where you were going wrong, but you ALSO made steps to improve it!

Second, my thing was how I'd consume a huge bowl of ice cream, followed by a huge bowl of potato chips (you know, to get the sweet taste out of my mouth...lol), then a glass of soda......every....single....night. Now all I have is maybe a handful of baked chips (portion control) a couple of times per week and ice cream is a once or twice a month "treat".

As a kid, I was always given these treats every day. Treats should be just that....a "treat".

Now I have to work on my going out to eat. I've had to start tracking expenses, because I receive assistance from my son's Indian tribe. Part of the requirements of receiving this assistance is to track your monthly expenses. I'm only a week in and I'm seeing just how often I'm going out to eat. And it ain't cheap!

WalkingGirl1985

I remember there were days where I would constantly eat an entire can of peanuts or a large pizza by myself..i guess sometimes once in a great, great, great, and I mean GREAT while, id still eat the whole pizza because I want to...when I need a break. :laugh:

Good job to you for making the right choice..I used to stop all the time on my way home from things and get fast food. Once in a while, ill go to Subway but thats about it.