If you can't say something nice....

momcindy

Yet, I've never seen him brutaly attack another poster in the forums. He states what is on his mind, yet he doesn't go after the person themselves and make it personal. Straight up, he just tells it like it is.

I'm sure he's a nice guy. But the point is that being straight up and telling it like it is can still be done with respect and tact and I'm not saying the OP doesn't do that, I was just using his own words to make the point. I never apologize for my personal beliefs on any given issue, but if I express them in a way that is disrespectful or isn't tactful and hurts someone, then I hope I can be humble enough to clarify and apologize for the misunderstanding while not compromising my conviction.

And yes, some people are overly sensitive and just need to grow up but here's an example of how speaking one's mind isn't helpful. A friend of mine, new to MFP, posted a question about how to figure out the calories, etc. for a recipe. She didn't know about the recipe tool yet. There were some helpful responses, then she asked a few more questions as she tried to clarify some things.

One member here responded with "do we need to come over and cook it for you too?" Maybe she thought that was a cute response but no one was laughing. I looked at her profile and although she is beautiful on the outside, that remark told me more about who she is inside. It was rude and not helpful at all yet she prides herself on being "brutally honest" and "telling it like it is" according to her profile. If that's what telling it like it is looks like, she can have it. To me, it was just an excuse to be rude under the guise of being witty.

We always have a choice as to how we frame our words or whether we need to say anything at all.

Iamfit4life

I think this is a great post.

writtenINthestars

Had someone been brutally honest to me years ago, I may have noticed all I was doing wrong much sooner.

If I want someone to hold my hand and be PC about my feelings, I'll call my mom.

Otherwise, this is a social forum and I if I get any honest answer that hurt my feelings, that usually means it's pretty true.

livnlite

Personally .. I think 'telling like it is' or "being brutally honest" does not neccessarily mean it has to delivered in such a way as to completely negate a person's importance. I don't understand why so many of you are defending the practice of ripping a person apart because they a doing something you don't think is right or enforcing your opinion like delivery doesn't matter .. I am of the opinion that it DOES matter.

I have always been one to 'shoot from the hip' so to speak .. So I understand how important honesty is. My point is ... It can be done with tact and finness .. You can call it what you like .. It doesn't have to be an ago trip at someone else's expense.