Anyone have a case of "the haters"
amygee05nb
Posts: 55
Hey all!
So, I have dropped weight and totally changed my lifestyle. My family and friends have been supportive and are happy for me. But, there are people that seem to try to put me down. Statements like " the first 10 pounds are easiest to lose"...then I lose over 15...and they say "the first 10-15 pounds are the easiest to lose"...lol.
Or I will mention that I lost weight and they will not acknowledge it. No supportive words or reassurance that I do look like I lost weight.
Any finally, people that go out of their way to try and sabotage your diet. "Oh come on, share a dessert with me","You go to the gym all the time...it's so boring,come drink!"
Any one else have these issues?
So, I have dropped weight and totally changed my lifestyle. My family and friends have been supportive and are happy for me. But, there are people that seem to try to put me down. Statements like " the first 10 pounds are easiest to lose"...then I lose over 15...and they say "the first 10-15 pounds are the easiest to lose"...lol.
Or I will mention that I lost weight and they will not acknowledge it. No supportive words or reassurance that I do look like I lost weight.
Any finally, people that go out of their way to try and sabotage your diet. "Oh come on, share a dessert with me","You go to the gym all the time...it's so boring,come drink!"
Any one else have these issues?
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A co worker told me I was happier when I was fat. I resisted the urge ask him what his excuse was.0
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A co worker told me I was happier when I was fat. I resisted the urge ask him what his excuse was.
haha...what a jerk. I guess people are going to complain whether you're going bad or good.0 -
Not so much 'haters' really but I'm surrounded by drinkers. It seems impossible to leave my room, and go anywhere passed the gym without ending up with a drink in hand-especially on the weekend. They aren't trying to sabotage-but I have to explain to them how important it is I lose this weight...and never find it again (especially by October 14).0
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Yeah a pair of them. A woman in the cube over the wall from me is always trying to get me to eat sweets. She brings in pies and other things all the time and pressures me to have some. It's more annoying than anything else. Then there's a guy down the row from me who's just a complete *kitten* (I'm amazed he's not been fired for a number of the things he says in the open). One day a few of the women in our aisle were talking to me about my weight loss and then as I walked away I heard him make some comment about me gaining it all back and then some in a few weeks. I spun around and said "well only if I start eating like you".
And of course there are always the people who sit there and tell me I'm getting too skinny. But overall I have to admit most people have been very complimentary and extremely supportive and encouraging.0 -
Yeah I have a few people who try to get me to eat bad food with them. I always feel bad because that used to be me! I used to guilt my skinny friends into eat junk food. I feel so awful!0
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One day a few of the women in our aisle were talking to me about my weight loss and then as I walked away I heard him make some comment about me gaining it all back and then some in a few weeks. I spun around and said "well only if I start eating like you".
Haha! you rock!0 -
My husband has been really supportive most of the time. My issue is that he is a fast food junkie and a chinese food junkie. It's really tough for me to say no when he says he wants McDonald's or Wendy's for dinner. ESPECIALLY since we're eating out A LOT less than we used to.. so when he says he wants chinese, I feel guilty saying no.
Oh well. He's supportive once in a while, and it is nice to have something "naughty" once in a while.
Hang in there.
God bless!0 -
Someone asked me today if I was losing weight. Ouch...I have lost over 70 lbs. That hurt.:noway:0
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Some haters are motivated by envy of your success. They see you doing well, and they feel like they are failing because they aren't doing something about themselves. They know they should be doing. Its a form of envy. Instead of letting your success motivate and encourage them, they just wish you would fail along with them, and then they feel fine about themselves again.
The same flawed thinking can be seen with success in almost any en-devour.0 -
I don't have deliberate saboteurs so much, but I do have "normal-sized" co-workers who don't have to watch every single thing they eat like I do. They now have a "Breakfast Club" where every Thursday one of them brings breakfast for the rest of the club. I turned down the offer to join the club. But what I didn't realize was that every single week I would have to fight off temptation because they are bringing things like sausage and egg breakfast taquitos, Chick Fil-A Minis, and breakfast tacos, and they put them on a desk right in our work area, so I smell them for hours. Forget chocolate: I crave sausage and bacon and things like that, so it's getting to me.0
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I can't wait until people start to hate me. :drinker:0
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hardly any of my friends - especially those who are overweight themselves - have been particularly supportive.
i had the odd 'you look nice' but thats been about it, so i dont worry about it as i am happy with my figure now, and the fact that i am so much more healthy so thats the main thing, leave the haters to be miserable!0 -
whats even worse is when its someone you love, they are around you daily and they say yea right to every thing that you do.. and then when you ask them if they have noticed any thing they say noo.... ooh ok i just been busting my *kitten* for 5-6 weeks... even if im not visibly different havent you noticed i been more active and eating differently..... yea.... then the convo is apparently done lol wow is all i can say.... thankful i have people on mfp for support, otherwise who knows....0
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I hear crazy stuff all the time. I hear that I'll look like a crack head if I lose to much weight. I hear that black women are suppose to have some meat on their bones. I hear "you're going to lose your breast or have sagging skin." The worst was when a friend told me that I wasn't meant to be slim, some people are just meant to be BBWs. When I told her I was still going to work on losing the weight, she told me that I wouldn't last long because I had no discipline when it came to food. WTF!! Let's just say that I don't talk to her any more.0
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Someone asked me today if I was losing weight. Ouch...I have lost over 70 lbs. That hurt.:noway:
I usually will ask that same question but only because my mother gave someone a compliment about loosing weight to someone only to have it turned around because the person was going through chemo.0 -
I have a friend who recently told me she hates the fact that I watch what I eat and don't eat treats all time anymore. She says it make our end of day coffee time boring and she doesn't like the conversation about weight loss or needing new clothes. (she has lost 15lbs because of it) Oh well that's life.0
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Thankfully my husband has been AMAZING for me. I started "hardcore" working out every day, changed my eating habits, all of that about 12 weeks ago. I have lost 12 pounds and have run into people that I have not seen in several months and no one seems to notice! The hubby has been great at helping me stay on target. He still eats what he wants but offers to fix me something different if he knows he is fixing something I shouldn't have. For the most part I believe in the "everything in moderation" theory. I eat "bad" at least once a week just to keep myself sane! The rest of the week I work my butt off and still don't have many people notice. My thoughts......who cares! I KNOW that I am making changes that are going to be permanent because I am making healthy lifestyle changes. I feel amazing and when I put on my jeans they are starting to get baggy. If anyone wants to say negative things to a person that is trying to be healthy it is because they are jealous that they do not have the same determination that you do! It takes a whole lot of effort to say "no" to the foods you know you don't need and to turn down invitations to temptations that are going to wreck your hard work. Besides, if you are on a regular workout routine you'll be able to kick their butts soon....that is what they are jealous of!
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Remember that Hater is just another word for jealousy.0
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OMG I can't stand the ones that try to sabotage your diet!!! My coworkers do this all the time. They'll throw a candy bar from the candy dish on my desk that they know is my favorite. I know to a lot of people that sounds like the nice thing to do, but when you're diabetic AND need to lose weight it's the WORST form of torture - especially when they know that you're trying to lose weight. I just will never understand the people who try to undermine your efforts. UGH. I hope you don't have to deal with that often. It's awful! Hang in there, you're doing the right things for your health and self esteem and you should be proud of yourself! Try not to let others knock you off track with their insensitivity and stupidity!0
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My husband has been really supportive most of the time. My issue is that he is a fast food junkie and a chinese food junkie. It's really tough for me to say no when he says he wants McDonald's or Wendy's for dinner. ESPECIALLY since we're eating out A LOT less than we used to.. so when he says he wants chinese, I feel guilty saying no.
Oh well. He's supportive once in a while, and it is nice to have something "naughty" once in a while.
Hang in there.
God bless!
I just wanted to share - I made fried rice the other night, and figured out the calories with the tool on the app. All-in-all, it came out to be about 400 cal per serving, which isn't great, but to put it into perspective, it had:
~8 grams fat, 108 g cholesterol (from the egg), 45 g carbs, 12 g protein
4 cups white rice, 1 c chopped green onion, 3 eggs, 12 oz crab meat, low sodium soy sauce (I figured about 2 oz), and 1 c chopped cabbage. White pepper to season. Makes about 5-6 servings. My friend said "I can taste the chinese restaurant in my mouth". You can make it even healthier with egg substitute, a different meat, or other substitutions. Try it out on the hubby and see what he says 0 -
My coworkers are s hitbirds in every sense but this one. I've inspired a few to start watching their food intake etc. I was known for my eating prowess before and now they figure if I can, they can.
Family, however, is a bit different. Someone mentioned that she's been told "black women have to have meat on their bones" and I get the same because I am Mexican. No, I don't want them beans cooked in lard and another serving of rice, people, I'm trying to break that chain of obesity that plagues us!
I've also gotten dirty looks when I'm out shopping cuz I grab the small sizes. Lots of gyrating heads and murmuring. Good times in NorCal!0 -
When asked to go out and drink, I decline 99% of the time. I get met with 'why not'
I simply say 'i cant drink' ..mainly cause of diet, and its always a waste. I work with guys who literally drink every night after work, waste their money, health and all that. And they LOOK like thats what they do.
some ppl just don't get it.
Mind you, show me some cute women, music and a dancefloor and I'm in there like a dirty shirt. But nowhere around here gets like that.
I keep my sanity but throwing in my tidbits about working out, or hitting new personal records and such.
they probly like hearin about that stuff about as much as i like hearin about the crappy things they do.
It all evens out, and the world keeps spinnin.0 -
Yep I have these issues all of the time. When I weighed 151 (it looked bad on me) people would say "oh you haven't put on any weight" when it was obvious that I did. Now that I am at 106 and in the best shape of my life I have to hear people say I need to "eat a burger" and that "I work out too much" and that "men hate thinner women"... it never stops but it always comes from people who are not in shape or even working on it at all. It's hurtful of these people do do this but they do it... although they wouldn't like it if they were criticized about their unhealthy lifestyle.0
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Your friends and work colleagues do not want to hear people babble on about working out, weightloss or calorie counting! They couldn't give two hoots. Afterall, do you really need their stamp of approval? Surely the fact that you have commited to a heathly eating and exercise plan and have the results to support your own success should be enough! Be proud of yourselves. Your not going to receive a gold star or get $200 for passing 'Go'... harden up and realise that you did this for YOURSELF not for the approval of others.
They just see you as a the party-pooper that won't losen up and have a beer OR come out and have a coffee & biscuit. And they are right in a way, but YOU know what is best for YOUR own health and to get YOU where YOU want to be. So why do you care what THEY say? It's not that they are not being supportive, it's just that they probably don't care as it doesn't affect them!
I NEVER comment on anyones weight loss. Because I figure that it's inappropriate to comment on weight gain, which is also a lifestyle choice. So what ,you've lost weight because you woke up to yourself and realised what's in YOUR BEST Interests? And now you want a pat on the back?
I have yo-yo'd through the years (to my own detriment) and respect those that are able to consistantly sustain a healthy balance.
Do you like to hear about your co-workers carry on about how they are potty training their 2yo? Or hear the lady that sits next to you whine about how pathetic the hens night her maid of honour organised was? Or even worse... once she avalanches into her wedding saga? Or how the coffee bloke is going home to yet again beat his all time record in some dorky online game? Or how sick your neighbours dog is (because it's owner is dumb enough to feed it cat food)? NO!! No one wants to hear about this, just like they don't want to hear you carry on about your calories!
I applaud everyone for taking the steps required to achieve their goals! I wish you all the very best in continuing your efforts.0 -
Yea I got a few haters roaming around my life.
Most of my friends are still in college and I graduated last fall. I started my weight loss journey in January and the moment I said a word about it.. BAM! They all decided that they were going to lose weight too. One girl actually did but a bunch fell off the wagon, got back on fell off again w/e. When I would talk about it, they would all say well you have a personal trainer and he's the reason you lost the weight.. or we're busy college kids, we don't have time to spend hours at the gym like you do.(Um, newsflash, I spend about 30-45 minutes in the gym 3X a week... hardly spending hours at the gym).
Anyway, so my one friend her latest round of trying to lose weight involves doing endless hours of cardio(think like 2+ hours a day) and then eating what she calls healthy meals, but also eating a ton of crap. When I told her that she doesn't need to do that much cardio, she snapped back that I didn't know what i was talking about, and she couldn't do the amount of cardio I do, to get the results she wants. At that point I just dropped it because if you want to kill yourself doing cardio and not realize that its more diet then anything.. then hey fine, go a head. When I look fab and you still look awful, don't come crying to me.0 -
Well, some of my co-workers calls me Crazy or Weird or Obsessed, because of the MFP apps on my phone and the fact that I record everything I eat.
For now, I haven't lose that much so I can't say I have a lot of compliments. But, everybody is nice to me.0 -
No one is actively sabbotaging me, but none of my friends has said anything about my weight loss at all. Even when I posted my first 25 lb loss on Facebook, only a few people "liked" it; most of them friends from far away rather than people in Colorado. I started off posting things about my exercise, but the resounding silence from my closest friends is disheartening. I gave some clothes to a couple friends because they are too big for me now, and while they thanked me, they still didn't say anything about it. Nearly all my female friends are heavier than me (even before I started losing this weight) so some of my reluctance to say anything more about my weight loss is that I don't want to rub their noses in my success.
Is it wrong to want to hear an "Atta girl" from friends, or is it too much to expect from them when I am already thinner and more fit? Fortunately my family is very supportive, as are my MFP friends.0 -
I think the haters and sabbotagers can be likened to crabs in a bucket. There's an old saying that if you put one crab in a bucket, you have to put a lid on the bucket to keep it from climbing out. If you put several crabs in a bucket, you don't need a lid because every time one of them tries to climb out, the rest of them pull it back down. The haters want to pull you back down to their level.0
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Wow, I just had one of these moments just last night!
I was with one of my best friends last night. We only see each other approx once a month. My weight loss is VERY noticable and she said Nothing!
What's ironic about it is that SHE just lost 30 pounds going to a "Diet Spa" and we all gushed over her progresses!
It's OK though. I have plenty of other people in my life who are very supportive of me and my friend really doesn't have that.
BUT, here I am posting about it so I guess it hurt a little........0 -
I think the haters and sabbotagers can be likened to crabs in a bucket. There's an old saying that if you put one crab in a bucket, you have to put a lid on the bucket to keep it from climbing out. If you put several crabs in a bucket, you don't need a lid because every time one of them tries to climb out, the rest of them pull it back down. The haters want to pull you back down to their level.
Just saw this and LOVE it! How true!!!0
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