Anyone have a case of "the haters"
Replies
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I'm finding that the people I really really like have more positive things to say than the people that try to get me to "crash" the diet. And the "diet" is working well around the house too. Once I found that I can do this, I'm really not listening to what the under-miners are doing...And I'm finding it quite easy to walk past breakfast burritos and delectable pristine glazed donuts that are all over the office every single day...
I'm totally loving the fact that I've made more work for myself--take today---I have to go find the next size down clothes, try them on, repair if needed and get them ready for the work week!!!0 -
well how about this....my MIL asked me if I was losing weight so that I could dump her son...WTH is that about??? I was and still am so insulted!0
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well how about this....my MIL asked me if I was losing weight so that I could dump her son...WTH is that about??? I was and still am so insulted!
WOW! You should have said "I might have to so I can get the hell away from you!!" Some people.....0 -
well, she said this to me 4 weeks ago and I haven't called her since...I get to see her tomorrow at a family party. I plan to kill her with kindness.0
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I have one of those hater systems going on at work too.
This past year a personal friend of many years (or so I thought) went on an all out professional attack of me at work. At first I tried to clear things up with her about what she did, then I later found out she was really jealous and certainly not a friend. In her attempt to defame my character to one of the guys, she told him a lot of personal information about me including her thoughts about "my tight little body", personal problems, blablabla. Well, little to her knowledge, he and I later became really good friends after he had revealed what she was doing behind my back. I realized the only proper response to this was to give her a real reason to be jealous! So I joined the boards here and embarked on my own personal improvement journey. Weight loss, new clothes, kick *kitten* hair cut, herb garden, fraxel laser, etc. Up hers...0 -
I don't have deliberate saboteurs so much, but I do have "normal-sized" co-workers who don't have to watch every single thing they eat like I do. They now have a "Breakfast Club" where every Thursday one of them brings breakfast for the rest of the club. I turned down the offer to join the club. But what I didn't realize was that every single week I would have to fight off temptation because they are bringing things like sausage and egg breakfast taquitos, Chick Fil-A Minis, and breakfast tacos, and they put them on a desk right in our work area, so I smell them for hours. Forget chocolate: I crave sausage and bacon and things like that, so it's getting to me.
You could bring your own yummy breakfast sandwich on those days. I love Subway for breakfast!0 -
The person I get that from the most is probably my workout buddy. If I'm working out and she's not, she'll come into the fitness center and try to pull me off of the Elliptical and say "it's a beautiful day! you shouldn't be here working out!"
and, my fiance does love his junk food, but he's been avoiding it a lot for me. When we do go somewhere like Arby's or a chinese food place, I just eat smaller portions of what I would usually get.0 -
well how about this....my MIL asked me if I was losing weight so that I could dump her son...WTH is that about??? I was and still am so insulted!
that sounds like something my MIL would say...0 -
My coworkers are all men at least 10 years older than me. I get skeevy comments all of the time, like "you better not lose any more weight because I don't want you to lose your curves". So gross.
They also try to make me eat candy and junk food. Someone brought in a 5lb bag of peanut M&Ms and I said that I didn't want any, and one of the guys kept coming up to me with handfuls of them all day, trying to get me to eat them. A) I said no.
I don't want food your nasty hands are touching. 0 -
So after weeks and weeks of love and support, my boyfriend broke down this week and admitted that "Your Fitness Pal is your new boyfriend!" He was joking about how he was jealous of how much time I spent on here.
I was heartbroken. I am trying to change my life, after all I'm 50lbs heavier than I was when I met him! But I took a day and didn't run, didn't log, and ate crap. Then at the end of the day I felt so terrible I broke down in tears and logged it all.
He was so horrified that he's been counting the calories on everything I eat ever since, and chanting, "That's my girl! Go log that snack! Good for you!" ever since.
I think he was only half-joking about the jealousy thing, because he's kind of grumbled before about how much time it takes me to log my food and stuff. But when he saw how I felt when I was unsupported in my efforts he woke up. I keep hoping to get him to join me on here. Then he'll really understand what a great tool this is!0 -
You're missing the point. Many of these people aren't asking for compliments or approval. Sometimes you get negative comments when you haven't asked for any kind of feedback -- and/ or when you haven't even been talking about health/ weight loss/ etc. They don't necessarily want a pat on the back; they just want to do their stuff in peace without anyone saying discouraging things to them.Your friends and work colleagues do not want to hear people babble on about working out, weightloss or calorie counting! They couldn't give two hoots. Afterall, do you really need their stamp of approval?
. . .
So what ,you've lost weight because you woke up to yourself and realised what's in YOUR BEST Interests? And now you want a pat on the back?
But WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE REALLY THINK?!
My point is some people just need to harden up! The world is full of criticism (both intended and unintended) and the way that you handle it, shapes who you are as a person. Some will continue to whinge and whine about it or play the 'victim' card, others use it as motivation to fuel further success. I love 'haters' and I thank them for their inspiration to make me a better person! Continue down your path to a healthy lifesyle, become the 'better' person through actions not words.0 -
totally this...my coworkers order ice cream from the soda shoppe from across the street and the guy delivers it to them! And tell me how good it is, and then complain later in the week they need to lose weight! Really?OMG I can't stand the ones that try to sabotage your diet!!! My coworkers do this all the time. They'll throw a candy bar from the candy dish on my desk that they know is my favorite. I know to a lot of people that sounds like the nice thing to do, but when you're diabetic AND need to lose weight it's the WORST form of torture - especially when they know that you're trying to lose weight. I just will never understand the people who try to undermine your efforts. UGH. I hope you don't have to deal with that often. It's awful! Hang in there, you're doing the right things for your health and self esteem and you should be proud of yourself! Try not to let others knock you off track with their insensitivity and stupidity!0 -
Some haters are motivated by envy of your success. They see you doing well, and they feel like they are failing because they aren't doing something about themselves. They know they should be doing. Its a form of envy. Instead of letting your success motivate and encourage them, they just wish you would fail along with them, and then they feel fine about themselves again.
The same flawed thinking can be seen with success in almost any en-devour.
AGREE 100%---NUFF SAID!!0 -
I have a friend who will compliment my husband every time on his weight loss. Never acknowledges mine. EVER. I've lost 60 lbs and she can't/won't say a word.0
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I find my friends and people I don't know very well are way more supportive than my own family. I have lost 55lbs and my sister and mother have not said a word. As a matter of fact, when I am at their house they offer me pies, candy, cookies or whatever they have and when I say no they ask why. When I tell them I am changing the way I eat their response is " how long is this going to last" or " just how many diets have you been on. Why don't you just give it up you were made to be heavy". I just roll my eyes and think to myself whatever and go on.0
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Maybe the people closest to you notice less because they see you every day? I don't know, just trying to give people the benefit of the doubt. Luckily my husband and I decided to get healthy together so it was a really good opportunity for us to support each other and make good decisions together.
I think also sometimes people who are dieting reward themselves with unhealthy food, hence the "I lost 10 lbs" "Great! Have a cupcake!" response. :P0 -
If you see the loss, in your face, FEEL the loss, your pants are loose. You do not need anyone to validate you ! Remain strong on how you've succeeded and don't worry about anyone telling you different ! It is all about you !!! And for the people trying to sabotage you...they are just "used to you being an eating buddy" some people have a hard time breaking that thought process.
YOU CAN DO IT !!!!
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I find my friends and people I don't know very well are way more supportive than my own family. I have lost 55lbs and my sister and mother have not said a word. As a matter of fact, when I am at their house they offer me pies, candy, cookies or whatever they have and when I say no they ask why. When I tell them I am changing the way I eat their response is " how long is this going to last" or " just how many diets have you been on. Why don't you just give it up you were made to be heavy". I just roll my eyes and think to myself whatever and go on.
'give it up you were made to be heavy'??!? I know it's your mom and sister, but really?!? The sad thing is, I can totally see this happening to me -- my Mom is always upset about her weight (she's gaining due to menopause), but then she makes "better-than-sex" cake and cuts huge slices and wonders why she doesn't lose weight!0 -
If you see the loss, in your face, FEEL the loss, your pants are loose. You do not need anyone to validate you ! Remain strong on how you've succeeded and don't worry about anyone telling you different ! It is all about you !!! And for the people trying to sabotage you...they are just "used to you being an eating buddy" some people have a hard time breaking that thought process.
YOU CAN DO IT !!!!
Thanks
this made me very happy. 0 -
I can relate to this with a group of people that I see periodically. I've always lost weight through diet/exercise (though, it has often found me again)
.. however, one observation was that the same group who always gravitates towards quick fixes ('fat' doctor for B12 type shots, Atkins, severely restricting calories, soup diets, etc.), they all rave about one another's weight loss. When I'd obviously drop 15 pounds, no one would utter a word of congrats or even acknowledgement.
Sometimes, we have to simply be our own cheerleaders. And, recognize who we we're going to receive support from.. and who we won't get it from.
Those same people.. I will never again mention my weight loss. Ever.
FYI - they all yoyo on their quick fixes.0 -
2 years later they've all grown quiet. Funny how being proved incredible wrong tends to shut people up. :-) hang in there and just smile knowing that in a few years they'll look exactly the same or worse and you'll be rockin maintenance.0
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I'm struggling with this problem right now. I put my mom on this lifestyle change with me, at her request, but she cheats all the time. She's going into the self sabatoge mode because she "hasn't lost an ounce so there's no point." Every weigh-in or accomplishment I feel guilty enjoying it or sharing it because she's not seeing results (she's not exercising at all or I've come to find out following the plan.) Tonight I was told to cook pizza for dinner (I cook for my parents, grandfather, girls, and myself daily) and it was excruciating having to make them one of my favorite foods and having to try and make a healthy food choice. The little comments are annoying and hurtful. I've lost almost 11lbs in 25 days so I'm proud of me, but finding it a bit tough to keep motivated in between workouts. Feel like I'm totally doing this alone!0
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So after weeks and weeks of love and support, my boyfriend broke down this week and admitted that "Your Fitness Pal is your new boyfriend!" He was joking about how he was jealous of how much time I spent on here.
I was heartbroken. I am trying to change my life, after all I'm 50lbs heavier than I was when I met him! But I took a day and didn't run, didn't log, and ate crap. Then at the end of the day I felt so terrible I broke down in tears and logged it all.
He was so horrified that he's been counting the calories on everything I eat ever since, and chanting, "That's my girl! Go log that snack! Good for you!" ever since.
I think he was only half-joking about the jealousy thing, because he's kind of grumbled before about how much time it takes me to log my food and stuff. But when he saw how I felt when I was unsupported in my efforts he woke up. I keep hoping to get him to join me on here. Then he'll really understand what a great tool this is!
What a totally awesome way to work through something in a relationship! Congrats, you have a good one.0 -
My coworkers are all men at least 10 years older than me. I get skeevy comments all of the time, like "you better not lose any more weight because I don't want you to lose your curves". So gross.
They also try to make me eat candy and junk food. Someone brought in a 5lb bag of peanut M&Ms and I said that I didn't want any, and one of the guys kept coming up to me with handfuls of them all day, trying to get me to eat them. A) I said no. I don't want food your nasty hands are touching.
What industry do you work in? Jeez. I sat next to a wise woman on an airplane last week, and she said if you can't change the situation, and you won't change yourself, then leave the situation. She had just left a very senior management position because of a hostile workplace situation. Now, I am not saying that is your case at all. However when I was just adding because there have been some situations I think I put up with, that I wish I hadn't...0 -
it happens. my family growing up, men like women with thin thighs, you will never have thin thighs, really Mother who always has a bag of sweets in her cabinets, fridge, freezer, counter tops... ?????0
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I'm just starting my journey so I can't wait for someone to "Hate" on me. Funny I already know who the Haters will be too.0
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We used to have "food days" at one place that I worked. Everyone knew that I was trying to watch what I ate. One day, there were some cookies on the table that were right in my view, so I moved them to other side so I wouldn't be tempted (they looked so yummy). One girl that I worked with actually picked the cookies up, walked over to my desk, and put the cookies on my keyboard, WHILE I WAS SITTING THERE!!!
So, the "nice" person in me, slammed my desk chair into her and gave her a "whoops, sorry". She never did it, again. And our boss laughed his butt off. :-D0 -
A girl I work with... she used to do weight watchers. She did it for a few weeks and stopped because she liked eating what she wanted.when I joined MFP and started losing weight, she asked me one day what I was doing. I explained I was working out at home, counting calories, and making healthy choices when it came to food. She then snapped at me and said she knew how to lose weight and rudely asked it I thought I was some kind of fitness guru now. About a week later, she asked me the exact same question and I just answered that I was doing the same thing I have been doing. she then tells me that she ie just going to get lap band surgery because its easier and starts going on a tyrade about how I am not in fact eating what I want like I claim because nobody wants the stuff I'm eating. She is about 400lbs and says she cant do exercise and doesnt want to anyway. Comments continued.... someone would ask what I brought for lunch and she would jump in and yell "twigs and leaves!" Before I could answer. She interrupted a conversation I was having with someone so that she could start talking to us about a friend who went to Mexico and had half her stomach removed... and how she lost over 80 pounds in three months, which was so much more than I had lost through healthy foods and exercise. I got new clothes and a new haircut which all of my coworkers loved... except her.
I finally asked to have my desk moved. She then sent me a text msg that she hoped we could mend whatever was going on between us with a Smiley face. I never responded and i stay away from her at work. I thought we were friends but apparently not. I saw her true colors when I started losing weight.0 -
And of course there are always the people who sit there and tell me I'm getting too skinny. But overall I have to admit most people have been very complimentary and extremely supportive and encouraging.
I think another perspective on this is that they aren't necessarily trying to put you down or keep you back, but perhaps they are also saying that you look fine and attractive as you are.
I don't think all comments about weight loss, etc. are meant to be negative. I do think that some people are genuinely trying to be nice by saying things that are meant to be a compliment, but don't quite make it there because they aren't aware of the value that weight loss has to us as 'life style changers'.
After all, we don't always want the people we like and love to change as we will always see them for the wonderful person that they are - warts'n'all.
I am aware that at the end of the day that it is important for you to lose the weight and be happy with yourself.0 -
So after weeks and weeks of love and support, my boyfriend broke down this week and admitted that "Your Fitness Pal is your new boyfriend!" He was joking about how he was jealous of how much time I spent on here.
I was heartbroken. I am trying to change my life, after all I'm 50lbs heavier than I was when I met him! But I took a day and didn't run, didn't log, and ate crap. Then at the end of the day I felt so terrible I broke down in tears and logged it all.
He was so horrified that he's been counting the calories on everything I eat ever since, and chanting, "That's my girl! Go log that snack! Good for you!" ever since.
I think he was only half-joking about the jealousy thing, because he's kind of grumbled before about how much time it takes me to log my food and stuff. But when he saw how I felt when I was unsupported in my efforts he woke up. I keep hoping to get him to join me on here. Then he'll really understand what a great tool this is!
Awwww! Sometimes our other halves don't realize how important something is to us until we're bereft of whatever it is that was important to us.0
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