Anyone have a case of "the haters"

catshark209

My coworkers are s hitbirds in every sense but this one. I've inspired a few to start watching their food intake etc. I was known for my eating prowess before and now they figure if I can, they can.
Family, however, is a bit different. Someone mentioned that she's been told "black women have to have meat on their bones" and I get the same because I am Mexican. No, I don't want them beans cooked in lard and another serving of rice, people, I'm trying to break that chain of obesity that plagues us!
I've also gotten dirty looks when I'm out shopping cuz I grab the small sizes. Lots of gyrating heads and murmuring. Good times in NorCal!

DannyMussels

When asked to go out and drink, I decline 99% of the time. I get met with 'why not'

I simply say 'i cant drink' ..mainly cause of diet, and its always a waste. I work with guys who literally drink every night after work, waste their money, health and all that. And they LOOK like thats what they do.

some ppl just don't get it.


Mind you, show me some cute women, music and a dancefloor and I'm in there like a dirty shirt. But nowhere around here gets like that.

I keep my sanity but throwing in my tidbits about working out, or hitting new personal records and such.
they probly like hearin about that stuff about as much as i like hearin about the crappy things they do.

It all evens out, and the world keeps spinnin.

Scorpioangel

Yep I have these issues all of the time. When I weighed 151 (it looked bad on me) people would say "oh you haven't put on any weight" when it was obvious that I did. Now that I am at 106 and in the best shape of my life I have to hear people say I need to "eat a burger" and that "I work out too much" and that "men hate thinner women"... it never stops but it always comes from people who are not in shape or even working on it at all. It's hurtful of these people do do this but they do it... although they wouldn't like it if they were criticized about their unhealthy lifestyle.

u334556

Your friends and work colleagues do not want to hear people babble on about working out, weightloss or calorie counting! They couldn't give two hoots. Afterall, do you really need their stamp of approval? Surely the fact that you have commited to a heathly eating and exercise plan and have the results to support your own success should be enough! Be proud of yourselves. Your not going to receive a gold star or get $200 for passing 'Go'... harden up and realise that you did this for YOURSELF not for the approval of others.

They just see you as a the party-pooper that won't losen up and have a beer OR come out and have a coffee & biscuit. And they are right in a way, but YOU know what is best for YOUR own health and to get YOU where YOU want to be. So why do you care what THEY say? It's not that they are not being supportive, it's just that they probably don't care as it doesn't affect them!

I NEVER comment on anyones weight loss. Because I figure that it's inappropriate to comment on weight gain, which is also a lifestyle choice. So what ,you've lost weight because you woke up to yourself and realised what's in YOUR BEST Interests? And now you want a pat on the back?

I have yo-yo'd through the years (to my own detriment) and respect those that are able to consistantly sustain a healthy balance.

Do you like to hear about your co-workers carry on about how they are potty training their 2yo? Or hear the lady that sits next to you whine about how pathetic the hens night her maid of honour organised was? Or even worse... once she avalanches into her wedding saga? Or how the coffee bloke is going home to yet again beat his all time record in some dorky online game? Or how sick your neighbours dog is (because it's owner is dumb enough to feed it cat food)? NO!! No one wants to hear about this, just like they don't want to hear you carry on about your calories!

I applaud everyone for taking the steps required to achieve their goals! I wish you all the very best in continuing your efforts.

dad106

Yea I got a few haters roaming around my life.

Most of my friends are still in college and I graduated last fall. I started my weight loss journey in January and the moment I said a word about it.. BAM! They all decided that they were going to lose weight too. One girl actually did but a bunch fell off the wagon, got back on fell off again w/e. When I would talk about it, they would all say well you have a personal trainer and he's the reason you lost the weight.. or we're busy college kids, we don't have time to spend hours at the gym like you do.(Um, newsflash, I spend about 30-45 minutes in the gym 3X a week... hardly spending hours at the gym).

Anyway, so my one friend her latest round of trying to lose weight involves doing endless hours of cardio(think like 2+ hours a day) and then eating what she calls healthy meals, but also eating a ton of crap. When I told her that she doesn't need to do that much cardio, she snapped back that I didn't know what i was talking about, and she couldn't do the amount of cardio I do, to get the results she wants. At that point I just dropped it because if you want to kill yourself doing cardio and not realize that its more diet then anything.. then hey fine, go a head. When I look fab and you still look awful, don't come crying to me.

mondeflottant

Well, some of my co-workers calls me Crazy or Weird or Obsessed, because of the MFP apps on my phone and the fact that I record everything I eat.
For now, I haven't lose that much so I can't say I have a lot of compliments. But, everybody is nice to me.

ColoradoRobin

No one is actively sabbotaging me, but none of my friends has said anything about my weight loss at all. Even when I posted my first 25 lb loss on Facebook, only a few people "liked" it; most of them friends from far away rather than people in Colorado. I started off posting things about my exercise, but the resounding silence from my closest friends is disheartening. I gave some clothes to a couple friends because they are too big for me now, and while they thanked me, they still didn't say anything about it. Nearly all my female friends are heavier than me (even before I started losing this weight) so some of my reluctance to say anything more about my weight loss is that I don't want to rub their noses in my success.

Is it wrong to want to hear an "Atta girl" from friends, or is it too much to expect from them when I am already thinner and more fit? Fortunately my family is very supportive, as are my MFP friends.

ColoradoRobin

I think the haters and sabbotagers can be likened to crabs in a bucket. There's an old saying that if you put one crab in a bucket, you have to put a lid on the bucket to keep it from climbing out. If you put several crabs in a bucket, you don't need a lid because every time one of them tries to climb out, the rest of them pull it back down. The haters want to pull you back down to their level.

rosied915

Wow, I just had one of these moments just last night!

I was with one of my best friends last night. We only see each other approx once a month. My weight loss is VERY noticable and she said Nothing!
What's ironic about it is that SHE just lost 30 pounds going to a "Diet Spa" and we all gushed over her progresses!

It's OK though. I have plenty of other people in my life who are very supportive of me and my friend really doesn't have that.

BUT, here I am posting about it so I guess it hurt a little........

rosied915

I think the haters and sabbotagers can be likened to crabs in a bucket. There's an old saying that if you put one crab in a bucket, you have to put a lid on the bucket to keep it from climbing out. If you put several crabs in a bucket, you don't need a lid because every time one of them tries to climb out, the rest of them pull it back down. The haters want to pull you back down to their level.

Just saw this and LOVE it! How true!!!

ncgingerich

Someone asked me today if I was losing weight. Ouch...I have lost over 70 lbs. That hurt.:noway:

This!! I started MFP to lose just over 30 pounds a few months ago. I've lost 18 which is more than half way to my goal and only 2 or 3 people have even noticed which is sometimes maddening to me. I wonder if others with under 20 or 30 pounds to lose experience the same thing. I do manage to shake it off and find my own encouragement from being able to fit back into more and more of my "skinny clothes" that have been gathering dust in my closet. Great job to you for losing over 70lbs - that is amazing progress!!

millionsofpeaches

I hate on hipsters.

engineman312

rosied915

Someone asked me today if I was losing weight. Ouch...I have lost over 70 lbs. That hurt.:noway:

This!! I started MFP to lose just over 30 pounds a few months ago. I've lost 18 which is more than half way to my goal and only 2 or 3 people have even noticed which is sometimes maddening to me. I wonder if others with under 20 or 30 pounds to lose experience the same thing. I do manage to shake it off and find my own encouragement from being able to fit back into more and more of my "skinny clothes" that have been gathering dust in my closet. Great job to you for losing over 70lbs - that is amazing progress!!

Congrats to BOTH of you on the success of your journey thusfar!!

I'd like to throw something else out there~ I had that incident last night with one friend and this has happened before with other people. When I've talked about it with my Mom, she thought that some people just won't talk about weight because it's too personal or they don't want the person to think they were so noticably fat before the weight loss and risk hurting their feelings.

I can agree with this on some level but even "acquaintances" like "gym buddies" can find a way to say it tactfully and give a person a little "boost"!

laura2501

i bumped into a"FRIEND" that i have not seen in a bout a year and while i have lost just over 3 stone she has gained i told her that she looked well ,she looked me up and down, said she was in a rush and she would call me some time and left without another word,,my mom was with me and could not get over her, she actually looked mad because i had lost weight, needless to say i wont be expecting the call

acquiescent

Your friends and work colleagues do not want to hear people babble on about working out, weightloss or calorie counting! They couldn't give two hoots. Afterall, do you really need their stamp of approval? Surely the fact that you have commited to a heathly eating and exercise plan and have the results to support your own success should be enough! Be proud of yourselves. Your not going to receive a gold star or get $200 for passing 'Go'... harden up and realise that you did this for YOURSELF not for the approval of others.

They just see you as a the party-pooper that won't losen up and have a beer OR come out and have a coffee & biscuit. And they are right in a way, but YOU know what is best for YOUR own health and to get YOU where YOU want to be. So why do you care what THEY say? It's not that they are not being supportive, it's just that they probably don't care as it doesn't affect them!

I NEVER comment on anyones weight loss. Because I figure that it's inappropriate to comment on weight gain, which is also a lifestyle choice. So what ,you've lost weight because you woke up to yourself and realised what's in YOUR BEST Interests? And now you want a pat on the back?

I have yo-yo'd through the years (to my own detriment) and respect those that are able to consistantly sustain a healthy balance.

Do you like to hear about your co-workers carry on about how they are potty training their 2yo? Or hear the lady that sits next to you whine about how pathetic the hens night her maid of honour organised was? Or even worse... once she avalanches into her wedding saga? Or how the coffee bloke is going home to yet again beat his all time record in some dorky online game? Or how sick your neighbours dog is (because it's owner is dumb enough to feed it cat food)? NO!! No one wants to hear about this, just like they don't want to hear you carry on about your calories!

I applaud everyone for taking the steps required to achieve their goals! I wish you all the very best in continuing your efforts.

Thank you for articulating exactly what was in my head!

0PhAtDaDdY

Hey all!

So, I have dropped weight and totally changed my lifestyle. My family and friends have been supportive and are happy for me. But, there are people that seem to try to put me down. Statements like " the first 10 pounds are easiest to lose"...then I lose over 15...and they say "the first 10-15 pounds are the easiest to lose"...lol.

Or I will mention that I lost weight and they will not acknowledge it. No supportive words or reassurance that I do look like I lost weight.

Any finally, people that go out of their way to try and sabotage your diet. "Oh come on, share a dessert with me","You go to the gym all the time...it's so boring,come drink!"

Any one else have these issues?

JeAlOuS!

ejohndrow

When asked to go out and drink, I decline 99% of the time. I get met with 'why not'

I simply say 'i cant drink' ..mainly cause of diet, and its always a waste. I work with guys who literally drink every night after work, waste their money, health and all that. And they LOOK like thats what they do.

some ppl just don't get it.

Since I've stopped drinking and going out to the bar my friends have dropped like flies-It's all good though, I now havea gym full of hot guys to hang out with. Not consuming empty calories and I'm getting in shape. I win!

kandrews24

I have a friend who recently told me she hates the fact that I watch what I eat and don't eat treats all time anymore. She says it make our end of day coffee time boring and she doesn't like the conversation about weight loss or needing new clothes. (she has lost 15lbs because of it) Oh well that's life.

Doesn't sound like she's your friend.

kandrews24

I think the haters and sabbotagers can be likened to crabs in a bucket. There's an old saying that if you put one crab in a bucket, you have to put a lid on the bucket to keep it from climbing out. If you put several crabs in a bucket, you don't need a lid because every time one of them tries to climb out, the rest of them pull it back down. The haters want to pull you back down to their level.

THIS!