Young boys pressured to be masculine- what do you think?

Options
12346

Replies

  • Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused
    Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused Posts: 935 Member
    Options
    Sublime, don't be sexist. B*tches hate that.

    I'm just sayin' that if we are all going to be "chicks" in 50 years, it's not a good thing. Just like it wouldn't be a good thing if we were all dudes in 50 years. Stop the pussification of society!

    Oh come on, your feminine side is dying to meet you! :P

    My masculine side is dying to meet you baby RAWR! :heart: :flowerforyou:
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    Options
    My masculine side is dying to meet you baby RAWR! heart flowerforyou

    Hahahahaha.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Options
    Adam Carolla is right. In 50 years, we'll all be chicks.

    Not many women like to be called 'chick.'
    & so what? What's wrong with women?

    Nothing. Unless you happen to be a man.

    Nope, my downstairs definitely confirm I'm a woman.

    My point was that men don't wish to be women. I'm not concerned with your "downstairs".

    How does doing certain things determine your gender?

    Follow the yellow brick quotes.
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
    Options
    Some people suck. Maybe the earlier you learn to deal with sucky people the better.
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,411 Member
    Options
    We've become a nation of pansies because no one has to just learn to be tough and deal with their issues. Kids need confrontation. Its how they learn to deal with real life.
    hear, hear
    no one gets a ribbon just for showing up

    The above is so true. We have an epidemic of young adults who have not grown up, many into their mid 30's by the pampering of political correctness and inablity to handle awkward situations. Bullying - needs to be addressed, kids teasing kids - NORMAL.

    On the flip side, there is a saying - be nice to nurds, you are going to work for them someday.
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused
    Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused Posts: 935 Member
    Options
    Some people suck. Maybe the earlier you learn to deal with sucky people the better.

    Agreed. And as long as we're on the topic of gender roles, my vote is females do the sucking. All in favor, say aye!
  • LemonPoppySeedMuffin
    LemonPoppySeedMuffin Posts: 302
    Options
    Some people suck. Maybe the earlier you learn to deal with sucky people the better.

    Agreed. And as long as we're on the topic of gender roles, my vote is females do the sucking. All in favor, say aye!

    Women do all the sucking? Don't complain ;D.
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    Options
    If he's 13, puberty either hasn't happened yet or it's just started and has a few years to finish. He will get his man voice and hair and put on some weight once the hormones start up. In the mean time, all the boys who have it start early pick on the ones who are still waiting for it. 13 sucks for everybody. I don't think he should be doing anything just because he feels pressured, but he shouldn't be discouraged from healthy exercise and sports or any other typically guy stuff. He is a boy learning to be a man, and there is nothing wrong with men being masculine and women being feminine.
    Gender roles to the point of restriction is not good, but gender roles in affirming identity is healthy. There is a difference between men and women, not just physically but emotionally and mentally. Incidentally, that is why there is such a huge gap in communication between the genders.Science and sociology both confirm that "nature" has just as much of a role in peoples gender identities as "nurture". We generally compute things and communicate things differently, and neither way is wrong.
    So yeah, he shouldn't be punished by his friends because his puberty hasn't kicked in full swing yet, but neither should he be discouraged from being what he is. Just focus on affirming him in healthy choices, and let him try to solve this on his own. Unless it has crossed into bullying, then parents, school and possibly police should get involved. Good luck to him! :-)
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused
    Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused Posts: 935 Member
    Options
    Some people suck. Maybe the earlier you learn to deal with sucky people the better.

    Agreed. And as long as we're on the topic of gender roles, my vote is females do the sucking. All in favor, say aye!

    Women do all the sucking? Don't complain ;D.

    That's what I am sayin'! I'm all for gender roles because of said role. We agree! And I'm a guy!!
  • LemonPoppySeedMuffin
    LemonPoppySeedMuffin Posts: 302
    Options
    If he's 13, puberty either hasn't happened yet or it's just started and has a few years to finish. He will get his man voice and hair and put on some weight once the hormones start up. In the mean time, all the boys who have it start early pick on the ones who are still waiting for it. 13 sucks for everybody. I don't think he should be doing anything just because he feels pressured, but he shouldn't be discouraged from healthy exercise and sports or any other typically guy stuff. He is a boy learning to be a man, and there is nothing wrong with men being masculine and women being feminine.
    Gender roles to the point of restriction is not good, but gender roles in affirming identity is healthy. There is a difference between men and women, not just physically but emotionally and mentally. Incidentally, that is why there is such a huge gap in communication between the genders.Science and sociology both confirm that "nature" has just as much of a role in peoples gender identities as "nurture". We generally compute things and communicate things differently, and neither way is wrong.
    So yeah, he shouldn't be punished by his friends because his puberty hasn't kicked in full swing yet, but neither should he be discouraged from being what he is. Just focus on affirming him in healthy choices, and let him try to solve this on his own. Unless it has crossed into bullying, then parents, school and possibly police should get involved. Good luck to him! :-)

    Thank you :).
  • LemonPoppySeedMuffin
    LemonPoppySeedMuffin Posts: 302
    Options
    If he's 13, puberty either hasn't happened yet or it's just started and has a few years to finish. He will get his man voice and hair and put on some weight once the hormones start up. In the mean time, all the boys who have it start early pick on the ones who are still waiting for it. 13 sucks for everybody. I don't think he should be doing anything just because he feels pressured, but he shouldn't be discouraged from healthy exercise and sports or any other typically guy stuff. He is a boy learning to be a man, and there is nothing wrong with men being masculine and women being feminine.
    Gender roles to the point of restriction is not good, but gender roles in affirming identity is healthy. There is a difference between men and women, not just physically but emotionally and mentally. Incidentally, that is why there is such a huge gap in communication between the genders.Science and sociology both confirm that "nature" has just as much of a role in peoples gender identities as "nurture". We generally compute things and communicate things differently, and neither way is wrong.
    So yeah, he shouldn't be punished by his friends because his puberty hasn't kicked in full swing yet, but neither should he be discouraged from being what he is. Just focus on affirming him in healthy choices, and let him try to solve this on his own. Unless it has crossed into bullying, then parents, school and possibly police should get involved. Good luck to him! :-)

    Thank you :).
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
    Options
    Adam Carolla is right. In 50 years, we'll all be chicks.

    Not many women like to be called 'chick.'
    & so what? What's wrong with women?

    Then "many women" need to lighten up. You don't see guys throwing hissy fits because someone called them "dude."

    The only time it would bother me to be called a "chick" is in the workplace. Anywhere else, it's not that big of a deal to me. I refer to myself as a chick all the time.
  • jcn1109
    jcn1109 Posts: 49
    Options
    Adam Carolla is right. In 50 years, we'll all be chicks.

    Not many women like to be called 'chick.'
    & so what? What's wrong with women?

    Then "many women" need to lighten up. You don't see guys throwing hissy fits because someone called them "dude."

    The only time it would bother me to be called a "chick" is in the workplace. Anywhere else, it's not that big of a deal to me. I refer to myself as a chick all the time.

    What she said. I fail to see how "chick" is even offensive.
  • LemonPoppySeedMuffin
    LemonPoppySeedMuffin Posts: 302
    Options
    Adam Carolla is right. In 50 years, we'll all be chicks.

    Not many women like to be called 'chick.'
    & so what? What's wrong with women?

    Then "many women" need to lighten up. You don't see guys throwing hissy fits because someone called them "dude."

    The only time it would bother me to be called a "chick" is in the workplace. Anywhere else, it's not that big of a deal to me. I refer to myself as a chick all the time.

    I would just find it unattractive if my boyfriend started calling me 'chick.' To me 'chick' sounds cheap & nasty.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    Options
    I think chick sounds tacky and demeaning. But then I get the rage when strange men call me "love" too. It's over familiar. Nicknames are for people who know me well, not random men in the street.
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused
    Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused Posts: 935 Member
    Options
    I think chick sounds tacky and demeaning. But then I get the rage when strange men call me "love" too. It's over familiar. Nicknames are for people who know me well, not random men in the street.

    If "chick" is demeaning, I can't imagine how you'd feel about names that are actualy demeaning.
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,411 Member
    Options
    If he's 13, puberty either hasn't happened yet or it's just started and has a few years to finish. He will get his man voice and hair and put on some weight once the hormones start up. In the mean time, all the boys who have it start early pick on the ones who are still waiting for it. 13 sucks for everybody. I don't think he should be doing anything just because he feels pressured, but he shouldn't be discouraged from healthy exercise and sports or any other typically guy stuff. He is a boy learning to be a man, and there is nothing wrong with men being masculine and women being feminine.
    Gender roles to the point of restriction is not good, but gender roles in affirming identity is healthy. There is a difference between men and women, not just physically but emotionally and mentally. Incidentally, that is why there is such a huge gap in communication between the genders.Science and sociology both confirm that "nature" has just as much of a role in peoples gender identities as "nurture". We generally compute things and communicate things differently, and neither way is wrong.
    So yeah, he shouldn't be punished by his friends because his puberty hasn't kicked in full swing yet, but neither should he be discouraged from being what he is. Just focus on affirming him in healthy choices, and let him try to solve this on his own. Unless it has crossed into bullying, then parents, school and possibly police should get involved. Good luck to him! :-)

    Thank you :).

    WifeNMama - smart lady. After 2 husbands, 3 kids, and 7 grandkids it is obvious guys and gals are wired differently. And I for one LOVE IT.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    Options
    I think chick sounds tacky and demeaning. But then I get the rage when strange men call me "love" too. It's over familiar. Nicknames are for people who know me well, not random men in the street.

    If "chick" is demeaning, I can't imagine how you'd feel about names that are actualy demeaning.

    Mostly violent.
  • LemonPoppySeedMuffin
    LemonPoppySeedMuffin Posts: 302
    Options
    I think chick sounds tacky and demeaning. But then I get the rage when strange men call me "love" too. It's over familiar. Nicknames are for people who know me well, not random men in the street.

    I feel the same with 'babe.' My parents call me 'babe' so makes me cringe when someone else calls me it. I have a name for a reason, use it;D. I do have nicknames, makes me cringe when lecturers call me by it :|
  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
    Options
    Interesting problem and some great responses. I particularly like the response: be different = get picked on, conform = fit in.

    My son had a terrible time at school between the ages of 13-15, he was obsessed with the 'cool group', wondering why he didn't fit in. It took a lot of work to get to the place where he was fine with who he is, accepted it and then low and behold he attracted other people to him. He is a constant source of inspiration because he walks with his head held high without the slightest self-consciousness about him. It is interesting that he is about to graduate from a very prestigious performing arts university, and some of the bullies are still faffing around without direction. My son is not gay (but if he was, so what), but he is not overly-masculine, but is OK with it.

    One other thing is, when met with criticism you can apply the following:
    * is there any truth in it? If so, what can I learn
    * what does that person mean to me and does their opinion matter?

    School is brutal, but it is where characters are built.

    GG

Categories