Visual Clues your date is a doucher
Replies
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Male D-bag:
- has a picture of himself shirtless as an avatar in an attempt to attract women
- Superman tattoo
- wears cowboy hats....for fun
Douche
What about wearing pink safety glasses when crushing something super tough...like a pumpkin?0 -
has a floral/vinegar scent0
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A guy dbag...his eyebrows are nicer than most women's, talks about himself into third person, and has multiple phones on him. A girl dbag...to tight clothing that shows the baby beer gut, every story is about her and her girlfriends getting free stuff, overly orange and cannot relate to anything that isn't featured on tmz or eonline0
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The guy who constantly "adjusts" every 30 seconds! 1. I doubt it's that big and 2. No one is trying to steal it from you and 3. Pulling on it will not make it bigger!0
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Red rimmed shooting glasses. Didn't smash the pumpkin....put 30 rounds of 9mm ammo through it. Anything else? U mad?0
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Female version:
Looks like Snookie and goes by that name.
I was thinking the entire male list sounded like the cast of Jersey Shore.0 -
Male D-bag:
- has a picture of himself shirtless as an avatar in an attempt to attract women
- Superman tattoo
- wears cowboy hats....for fun
Douche
*pssst.... your jealousy is showing, doll.
Your toes are showing, doll. Might wanna cover those up.0 -
An Obama sticker on her bumper!
Anytime I see an Obama sticker, it's usually on a Prius, Toyota Camry or Honda Civic.. and the driver is almost always willing to go through a red light, cut off, not use signal. I love sterotyping people in cars.0 -
continued list of visual signals for knowing he's a *kitten*:
duckface and or sunglasses in ANY of his pics for no obviously legitimate or ironic reasons.
any pics sent or on a dating site profile of them completely wasted
has any pics including dollar bills of ANY denomination
uses text lingo and is over the age of 21.
owns ed hardy anything
wears white sunglasses
wears bigger sunglasses than mine.
walks with a limp resembling a wounded animal
discusses his criminal record.... at length.
introduces himself using a nickname involving any references to cash, money, or balls.
asks if you're 420 friendly.... on or before the first date.
orders any alcoholic beverage made with a fruity base.
complains about the service without legitimate reason.
doesn't tip, or tips under 15% (20% in applicable circumstances)
has close friends that exhibit 3 or more of the signs listed.
Aw poop! I made the list. Just bought white Oakley Flak Jackets. And I had to look them up on Oakleys' web site b/c I didn't know what they're called.0 -
Male D-bag:
- has a picture of himself shirtless as an avatar in an attempt to attract women
- Superman tattoo
- wears cowboy hats....for fun
Douche
*pssst.... your jealousy is showing, doll.
Your toes are showing, doll. Might wanna cover those up.
Yes, that made so much sense in relation to the post she made?
Mmmmm I like trolls, they taste like chicken.
Oh, and just so we're clear.
I grew up around people like you. Ya know, the people who wear camo everywhere they go, only shop at Wal-mart, and think its enjoyable to get wasted in their pickup all the time and shoot things like a pumpkin because they have nothing better to do.
Those were the same people that if they even did, they BARELY graduated high school, couldn't go to college, and now they work a low wage manual labor job because they are too stupid to be able to use their brain for anything they would get paid at.
Nothing sexier than having sex in your broken down car because you can't afford to replace the roof of your trailer, right?
Enjoy calling me a douche on the internet and making fun of my friends feet. I'm surprised you are able to use a computer at all. Oh well, it'll take you 30 minutes to type up the one line response you'll have to this post.
And no, I'm not mad. MFP is tame compared to the forums I've been a member of.0 -
Male D-bag:
- has a picture of himself shirtless as an avatar in an attempt to attract women
- Superman tattoo
- wears cowboy hats....for fun
Douche
popcorn. popcorn over here. $2 dollah....popcorn....0 -
Male D-bag:
- has a picture of himself shirtless as an avatar in an attempt to attract women
- Superman tattoo
- wears cowboy hats....for fun
Douche
popcorn. popcorn over here. $2 dollah....popcorn....
*hands over $2 bucks and pulls up a chair...0 -
Red rimmed shooting glasses. Didn't smash the pumpkin....put 30 rounds of 9mm ammo through it. Anything else? U mad?
Light red equals pink. It's cool though, I'm sure you meant no homo by it.0 -
3. Pulling on it will not make it bigger!
If that's true you're doing it wrong0 -
Female doucher:
1) First and foremost, shaves her eyebrows off and draws them on. F*ckin' sharpiebrows.
2) She has and posts duckface pics of herself.
3) Does her hair up like Medusa (saw that on someone's post on here, but he's dead on right).
4) Draws a dark line around her lips.
5) Long fake plastic nails. Let's face it, those are only good for digging into my back during sex.
6) Tans herself so she looks orange, but yet, still thinks she looks good.
7) Has incredibly white teeth to contrast with her aforementioned orange look.
I guess I am a douch, I wear lip liner. :sad:0 -
Male D-bag:
- has a picture of himself shirtless as an avatar in an attempt to attract women
- Superman tattoo
- wears cowboy hats....for fun
Douche
Jealous are you?0 -
Male D-bag:
- has a picture of himself shirtless as an avatar in an attempt to attract women
- Superman tattoo
- wears cowboy hats....for fun
Douche
*pssst.... your jealousy is showing, doll.
Your toes are showing, doll. Might wanna cover those up.
Yes, that made so much sense in relation to the post she made?
Mmmmm I like trolls, they taste like chicken.
Oh, and just so we're clear.
I grew up around people like you. Ya know, the people who wear camo everywhere they go, only shop at Wal-mart, and think its enjoyable to get wasted in their pickup all the time and shoot things like a pumpkin because they have nothing better to do.
Those were the same people that if they even did, they BARELY graduated high school, couldn't go to college, and now they work a low wage manual labor job because they are too stupid to be able to use their brain for anything they would get paid at.
Nothing sexier than having sex in your broken down car because you can't afford to replace the roof of your trailer, right?
Enjoy calling me a douche on the internet and making fun of my friends feet. I'm surprised you are able to use a computer at all. Oh well, it'll take you 30 minutes to type up the one line response you'll have to this post.
And no, I'm not mad. MFP is tame compared to the forums I've been a member of.
Ha! Nice! You got me!0 -
2 words
Jersey Shore
Sums it up for both men and women
Definitely!0 -
Hey back up there pal. You callin people who wear Raiders jerseys a douche is like me saying all guys who wear cowboy hats are gay. I live in the east bay area, south of Oakland. A lot of my family and friends are Raider fans. So you pretty much just insulted a lot of people who are close to me.
And whats more douchier than some *kitten* posting up a wall of judgments on people?
You're fail dude0 -
You replied...which makes it all the more amusing. His post was pretty funny. Upvotes for both.Male D-bag:
- has a picture of himself shirtless as an avatar in an attempt to attract women
- Superman tattoo
- wears cowboy hats....for fun
Douche
*pssst.... your jealousy is showing, doll.
Your toes are showing, doll. Might wanna cover those up.
Yes, that made so much sense in relation to the post she made?
Mmmmm I like trolls, they taste like chicken.
Oh, and just so we're clear.
I grew up around people like you. Ya know, the people who wear camo everywhere they go, only shop at Wal-mart, and think its enjoyable to get wasted in their pickup all the time and shoot things like a pumpkin because they have nothing better to do.
Those were the same people that if they even did, they BARELY graduated high school, couldn't go to college, and now they work a low wage manual labor job because they are too stupid to be able to use their brain for anything they would get paid at.
Nothing sexier than having sex in your broken down car because you can't afford to replace the roof of your trailer, right?
Enjoy calling me a douche on the internet and making fun of my friends feet. I'm surprised you are able to use a computer at all. Oh well, it'll take you 30 minutes to type up the one line response you'll have to this post.
And no, I'm not mad. MFP is tame compared to the forums I've been a member of.0 -
As long as your lipstick matches and is not 3 shades lighter...Female doucher:
1) First and foremost, shaves her eyebrows off and draws them on. F*ckin' sharpiebrows.
2) She has and posts duckface pics of herself.
3) Does her hair up like Medusa (saw that on someone's post on here, but he's dead on right).
4) Draws a dark line around her lips.
5) Long fake plastic nails. Let's face it, those are only good for digging into my back during sex.
6) Tans herself so she looks orange, but yet, still thinks she looks good.
7) Has incredibly white teeth to contrast with her aforementioned orange look.
I guess I am a douch, I wear lip liner. :sad:0 -
Yes, that made so much sense in relation to the post she made?
Mmmmm I like trolls, they taste like chicken.
Oh, and just so we're clear.
I grew up around people like you. Ya know, the people who wear camo everywhere they go, only shop at Wal-mart, and think its enjoyable to get wasted in their pickup all the time and shoot things like a pumpkin because they have nothing better to do.
Those were the same people that if they even did, they BARELY graduated high school, couldn't go to college, and now they work a low wage manual labor job because they are too stupid to be able to use their brain for anything they would get paid at.
Nothing sexier than having sex in your broken down car because you can't afford to replace the roof of your trailer, right?
Enjoy calling me a douche on the internet and making fun of my friends feet. I'm surprised you are able to use a computer at all. Oh well, it'll take you 30 minutes to type up the one line response you'll have to this post.
And no, I'm not mad. MFP is tame compared to the forums I've been a member of.
But I like getting wasted and shooting stuff!!!
0 -
Male D-bag:
- has a picture of himself shirtless as an avatar in an attempt to attract women
- Superman tattoo
- wears cowboy hats....for fun
Douche
*pssst.... your jealousy is showing, doll.
Your toes are showing, doll. Might wanna cover those up.
i almost decided not to respond, since Av pretty much covered it all.... however.... for your information, i'm participating in a theme day. and proving i'm not diabetic lol. sorry, that last remark was far over your head i'm sure.
for future reference: insults are only fun if they are original, intelligent and/or exceptionally witty. yours are none of those. you should probably take notes from a few of the senseis around like binary_jester, Qarol, ket_the_jet, etc before trying again.0 -
Red rimmed shooting glasses. Didn't smash the pumpkin....put 30 rounds of 9mm ammo through it. Anything else? U mad?
Light red equals pink. It's cool though, I'm sure you meant no homo by it.
Not really, just happened to be the only pair I could get from work. I was wearing a pink thong when I shot the pumpkin, is that homo?0 -
Hey back up there pal. You callin people who wear Raiders jerseys a douche is like me saying all guys who wear cowboy hats are gay. I live in the east bay area, south of Oakland. A lot of my family and friends are Raider fans. So you pretty much just insulted a lot of people who are close to me.
And whats more douchier than some *kitten* posting up a wall of judgments on people?
You're fail dude
I'm a Raiders fan, and I took the comment as a complement. I dunno though, that's me.0 -
Red rimmed shooting glasses. Didn't smash the pumpkin....put 30 rounds of 9mm ammo through it. Anything else? U mad?
Light red equals pink. It's cool though, I'm sure you meant no homo by it.
Not really, just happened to be the only pair I could get from work. I was wearing a pink thong when I shot the pumpkin, is that homo?
now THAT's what i'm talking about. let's go feed dynamite to some frogs.0 -
Hey back up there pal. You callin people who wear Raiders jerseys a douche is like me saying all guys who wear cowboy hats are gay. I live in the east bay area, south of Oakland. A lot of my family and friends are Raider fans. So you pretty much just insulted a lot of people who are close to me.
And whats more douchier than some *kitten* posting up a wall of judgments on people?
You're fail dude
Ha! I like you Raider Nation! Let's get drunk and shoot stuff!0 -
Red rimmed shooting glasses. Didn't smash the pumpkin....put 30 rounds of 9mm ammo through it. Anything else? U mad?
Light red equals pink. It's cool though, I'm sure you meant no homo by it.
Not really, just happened to be the only pair I could get from work. I was wearing a pink thong when I shot the pumpkin, is that homo?
Just a little bit.0 -
I resent that. I am most likely the un-funniest person on this board. I have "jester" as my name for irony purposes only.you should probably take notes from a few of the senseis around like binary_jester, Qarol, ket_the_jet, etc before trying again.0 -
Hey back up there pal. You callin people who wear Raiders jerseys a douche is like me saying all guys who wear cowboy hats are gay. I live in the east bay area, south of Oakland. A lot of my family and friends are Raider fans. So you pretty much just insulted a lot of people who are close to me.
And whats more douchier than some *kitten* posting up a wall of judgments on people?
You're fail dude
All in fun. Any single trait does not a douche make. It's just a clue to stay alert
0
This discussion has been closed.
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