Visual Clues your date is a doucher

fbmandy55

Female doucher:

1) First and foremost, shaves her eyebrows off and draws them on. F*ckin' sharpiebrows.
2) She has and posts duckface pics of herself.
3) Does her hair up like Medusa (saw that on someone's post on here, but he's dead on right).
4) Draws a dark line around her lips.
5) Long fake plastic nails. Let's face it, those are only good for digging into my back during sex.
6) Tans herself so she looks orange, but yet, still thinks she looks good.
7) Has incredibly white teeth to contrast with her aforementioned orange look.

I guess I am a douch, I wear lip liner. :sad:

As long as your lipstick matches and is not 3 shades lighter...

ArroganceInStep

Yes, that made so much sense in relation to the post she made?

Mmmmm I like trolls, they taste like chicken.

Oh, and just so we're clear.

I grew up around people like you. Ya know, the people who wear camo everywhere they go, only shop at Wal-mart, and think its enjoyable to get wasted in their pickup all the time and shoot things like a pumpkin because they have nothing better to do.

Those were the same people that if they even did, they BARELY graduated high school, couldn't go to college, and now they work a low wage manual labor job because they are too stupid to be able to use their brain for anything they would get paid at.

Nothing sexier than having sex in your broken down car because you can't afford to replace the roof of your trailer, right?

Enjoy calling me a douche on the internet and making fun of my friends feet. I'm surprised you are able to use a computer at all. Oh well, it'll take you 30 minutes to type up the one line response you'll have to this post.

And no, I'm not mad. MFP is tame compared to the forums I've been a member of.

But I like getting wasted and shooting stuff!!!

chocolateandvodka

Male D-bag:

- has a picture of himself shirtless as an avatar in an attempt to attract women
- Superman tattoo
- wears cowboy hats....for fun

Douche

*pssst.... your jealousy is showing, doll.

Your toes are showing, doll. Might wanna cover those up.

i almost decided not to respond, since Av pretty much covered it all.... however.... for your information, i'm participating in a theme day. and proving i'm not diabetic lol. sorry, that last remark was far over your head i'm sure.

for future reference: insults are only fun if they are original, intelligent and/or exceptionally witty. yours are none of those. you should probably take notes from a few of the senseis around like binary_jester, Qarol, ket_the_jet, etc before trying again.

stampede55

Red rimmed shooting glasses. Didn't smash the pumpkin....put 30 rounds of 9mm ammo through it. Anything else? U mad?

Light red equals pink. It's cool though, I'm sure you meant no homo by it.

Not really, just happened to be the only pair I could get from work. I was wearing a pink thong when I shot the pumpkin, is that homo?

ArroganceInStep

Hey back up there pal. You callin people who wear Raiders jerseys a douche is like me saying all guys who wear cowboy hats are gay. I live in the east bay area, south of Oakland. A lot of my family and friends are Raider fans. So you pretty much just insulted a lot of people who are close to me.

And whats more douchier than some *kitten* posting up a wall of judgments on people?

You're fail dude

I'm a Raiders fan, and I took the comment as a complement. I dunno though, that's me.

chocolateandvodka

Red rimmed shooting glasses. Didn't smash the pumpkin....put 30 rounds of 9mm ammo through it. Anything else? U mad?

Light red equals pink. It's cool though, I'm sure you meant no homo by it.

Not really, just happened to be the only pair I could get from work. I was wearing a pink thong when I shot the pumpkin, is that homo?

now THAT's what i'm talking about. let's go feed dynamite to some frogs.

stampede55

Hey back up there pal. You callin people who wear Raiders jerseys a douche is like me saying all guys who wear cowboy hats are gay. I live in the east bay area, south of Oakland. A lot of my family and friends are Raider fans. So you pretty much just insulted a lot of people who are close to me.

And whats more douchier than some *kitten* posting up a wall of judgments on people?

You're fail dude

Ha! I like you Raider Nation! Let's get drunk and shoot stuff!

Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused

Red rimmed shooting glasses. Didn't smash the pumpkin....put 30 rounds of 9mm ammo through it. Anything else? U mad?

Light red equals pink. It's cool though, I'm sure you meant no homo by it.

Not really, just happened to be the only pair I could get from work. I was wearing a pink thong when I shot the pumpkin, is that homo?

Just a little bit.

binary_jester

you should probably take notes from a few of the senseis around like binary_jester, Qarol, ket_the_jet, etc before trying again.

I resent that. I am most likely the un-funniest person on this board. I have "jester" as my name for irony purposes only.

Avalonis

Hey back up there pal. You callin people who wear Raiders jerseys a douche is like me saying all guys who wear cowboy hats are gay. I live in the east bay area, south of Oakland. A lot of my family and friends are Raider fans. So you pretty much just insulted a lot of people who are close to me.

And whats more douchier than some *kitten* posting up a wall of judgments on people?

You're fail dude

All in fun. Any single trait does not a douche make. It's just a clue to stay alert

Ebbykins

Waaaaaahahahahahahaha. Highly entertaining.

chocolateandvodka

you should probably take notes from a few of the senseis around like binary_jester, Qarol, ket_the_jet, etc before trying again.

I resent that. I am most likely the un-funniest person on this board. I have "jester" as my name for irony purposes only.

then you are one epic fail darling.

LauraMacNCheese

stampede55

Red rimmed shooting glasses. Didn't smash the pumpkin....put 30 rounds of 9mm ammo through it. Anything else? U mad?

Light red equals pink. It's cool though, I'm sure you meant no homo by it.

Not really, just happened to be the only pair I could get from work. I was wearing a pink thong when I shot the pumpkin, is that homo?

now THAT's what i'm talking about. let's go feed dynamite to some frogs.

I'm calling PETA....poor frogs.

StrengthIsBeautiful

Star Trek phaser clipped to belt.

ahunkofmexican

Hey back up there pal. You calling people who wear Raiders jerseys a douche is like me saying all guys who wear cowboy hats are gay. I live in the east bay area, south of Oakland. A lot of my family and friends are Raider fans. So you pretty much just insulted a lot of people who are close to me.

And whats more douchier than some *kitten* posting up a wall of judgments on people?

You're fail dude

This~ ^~ and half the list you posted describes half of the postings you have posted . Come out of your closet before someone post a topic on douche's who wear cowboy hats. GO RAIDERS !

foremant86

An Obama sticker on her bumper!

Anytime I see an Obama sticker, it's usually on a Prius, Toyota Camry or Honda Civic.. and the driver is almost always willing to go through a red light, cut off, not use signal. I love sterotyping people in cars.

no politics folks! get over it.

the rest of this thread is hilarious!

Kimmy546

Hey back up there pal. You callin people who wear Raiders jerseys a douche is like me saying all guys who wear cowboy hats are gay. I live in the east bay area, south of Oakland. A lot of my family and friends are Raider fans. So you pretty much just insulted a lot of people who are close to me.

And whats more douchier than some *kitten* posting up a wall of judgments on people?

You're fail dude

LOVE this!!

chocolateandvodka

Red rimmed shooting glasses. Didn't smash the pumpkin....put 30 rounds of 9mm ammo through it. Anything else? U mad?

Light red equals pink. It's cool though, I'm sure you meant no homo by it.

Not really, just happened to be the only pair I could get from work. I was wearing a pink thong when I shot the pumpkin, is that homo?

now THAT's what i'm talking about. let's go feed dynamite to some frogs.

I'm calling PETA....poor frogs.

there has to be a vegetarian foundation that's angry with you for what you did to that helpless pumpkin. bring it *kitten*.

maybe a world hunger charity or something... idk.

hazelmae123

Hey back up there pal. You callin people who wear Raiders jerseys a douche is like me saying all guys who wear cowboy hats are gay. I live in the east bay area, south of Oakland. A lot of my family and friends are Raider fans. So you pretty much just insulted a lot of people who are close to me.

And whats more douchier than some *kitten* posting up a wall of judgments on people?

You're fail dude

OOOhhhh...the battle of the BAY! Thems fightin words...