Can anyone handle the truth??
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its because i WANT people to feel better that i think they should DO better. correct, they may be going through something awful. correct, you cant judge strangers. correct, some people are happy no matter how they look.
and im not trying to "scold the fatties"..i think most of the people on here are really trying to make positive changes for themselves, and thats great. i'm just wondering why people cant handle the truth. and its great to know im not alone
WOW!!! BACK PEDDLING CLEARLY ISN'T A STRONG SUIT EITHER... BUT AT LEAST YOU LOOK GOOD RIGHT??0 -
I need popcorn! This is getting good!
No sir you need a ringding.....Honestly0 -
I tried to go look at how amazing hot and in shape you were, but your only pic is a cartoon.
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A 200-pound person knows he or she is overweight (unless he or she is very, very tall). Why is it necessary to be rude and point it out?
And, no, I wouldn't spiral and eat because someone told me I was fat -- I'm not an emotional eater. But I might just haul off and punch that person.0 -
This unfortunately is the trademark of someone who doesn't seem to have a lot of life experience. If you can't nicely tell someone to do something you have no tact. That makes you rude. If in a supporting fashion you can convince someone to make positive changes in their lives and move forward in a healthy fashion, then you are just showing you a better people person.
I disagree. I think we are stuck in politically correct "Nice nice" land. Lets face it: Most people just can't handle the truth because it makes them feel bad.
Wanna know why it makes them feel bad? Because they know its their fault. Call me insensitive, say I "Just don't understand" all you want, but the simple fact of the matter is YOU ARE THE PERSON IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE.
Is it harder for some people than others? Absofreakinglutely.
That doesn't change the fact that you still have to want it enough to do something about it.
I agree with the OP.
Quit freaking settling, quit lying to yourself, get off your *kitten*, and change what you want to change. As long as you give it everything you've got (without lying to yourself) then thats all that you can do.0 -
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Hmmm, I was reluctant to respond to this one but there are a couple of things to ponder.
One is that I used weight almost 170 pounds and then I became a trainer and took action not only for my overweight issue but mostly doing something about my food addiction issue.
...and yes, as a trainer you come across many people who are in a victim trip (I was one of those people) and who are on their own journey in their own timing etc. That is truth and I was there.
BUT just because I am at a place in my journey that has moved on from ways I used to sabotage myself, doesn't mean I stick my nose into someone's face and blast them because they are not where I am and who would I be anyway to play God and tell someone to adhere to my rightous point of view and do it now!
Yes, it is the truth that there are those who are in a spot around their health, weight, food, etc. and feel hopeless and talk about how hopeless they are - but for me I had to sit in it to know I didn't not want too sit in it anymore.
If somone hires me to train them and motivate them and tell them the truth - I do, because they asked me to and trust me to do that and invited me into their world and asked for help. That is the only time I share with them what I did, how it was for me and how I got out of it.
Lastly, one of my favorite quotes is: WHAT YOU THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS - hello.
Keep the peace, love yourself and love other people for where they are at - the world will be a much more caring place.0 -
:flowerforyou: Thanks this post has totally changed my life,I was so blind to the truth.....how did I make it this long without an inspireing message such as yours opening my eyes to the way things really are.Im a little sad by the time I wasted not handling the truth,but now THANKS TO YOU I can move forward in my new truth handling life0
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if you think i'm wrong, you're exactly the type of person i'm talking about. the kind i feel sorry for when i see them pretending they're happy instead of making themselves happy.
may wisdom and maturity find you as you age. obviously you've never truly been "fat". if you had that life experience, you might see things differently. on the flip side, it does sound like you're going to make the perfect employee....someone who doesn't make excuses for anything...someone who owns up to her own faults and omissions. very commendable indeed.0 -
I need popcorn! This is getting good!
we can share with mikey!0 -
I need popcorn! This is getting good!
No sir you need a ringding.....Honestly
I live in Minnesota. What's a ringding? It that like a ho-ho? Regional dialect!0 -
The truth is great, but it's the way the person conveys it.
Let's say someone tells you you're fat, but makes fun of you while they tell you, that's going to sting a bit.
There is a nice way to go about it, but being put down or made fun of is NOT that way to go about it.
If someone was gaining weight and I was worried about their health, then yes, I would maybe mention something, in private but it's not really your place to say. They have to want to lose weight themselves.
And if you have never been fat, then you don't actually know what goes on in an overweight persons head, so I don't think you really have the right to say anything.
This, in ad addendum to my previous post.0 -
Please don't feed the trolls.
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A 200-pound person knows he or she is overweight (unless he or she is very, very tall). Why is it necessary to be rude and point it out?
And, no, I wouldn't spiral and eat because someone told me I was fat -- I'm not an emotional eater. But I might just haul off and punch that person.
I'm over 200lbs and I'm not tall but I am obese because BMI says so.....time for a ringding honestly!0 -
Maybe you have NO IDEA what theses people have really gone through... I was pretty at my before... I WAS HAPPY at my BEFORE, because I didn't know any better...
So when PEOPLE LIKE YOU, have THOUGHTS LIKE THIS...
KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF AND SHAME ON YOU FOR HAVING ZERO COMPASSION FOR WHAT EVENTS YOU HAVE NO CLUE OF!!!
YES, THAT SAYS 80 POUNDS LOST WOO HOO!!
Congratulations on 80 lbs. lost!!! Good job! Great work, you earned it, and I'm sure you worked hard for it.
How's that for honest, 'cause it's the truth! You are looking good!
And I thought this thread deserved a heist!0 -
I couldnt agree more. I was fat and my husband told me yes he loved me but I needed to lose some damn weight. I would rather him tell me he cares enough to hurt my feelings so I can get healthy than let me eat myself to death. I would much rather hear the truth as long as it is not done in a 'youre a big fat *kitten*' way. LOL0
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Hmmm, I was reluctant to respond to this one but there are a couple of things to ponder.
One is that I used weight almost 170 pounds and then I became a trainer and took action not only for my overweight issue but mostly doing something about my food addiction issue.
...and yes, as a trainer you come across many people who are in a victim trip (I was one of those people) and who are on their own journey in their own timing etc. That is truth and I was there.
BUT just because I am at a place in my journey that has moved on from ways I used to sabotage myself, doesn't mean I stick my nose into someone's face and blast them because they are not where I am and who would I be anyway to play God and tell someone to adhere to my rightous point of view and do it now!
Yes, it is the truth that there are those who are in a spot around their health, weight, food, etc. and feel hopeless and talk about how hopeless they are - but for me I had to sit in it to know I didn't not want too sit in it anymore.
If somone hires me to train them and motivate them and tell them the truth - I do, because they asked me to and trust me to do that and invited me into their world and asked for help. That is the only time I share with them what I did, how it was for me and how I got out of it.
Lastly, one of my favorite quotes is: WHAT YOU THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS - hello.
Keep the peace, love yourself and love other people for where they are at - the world will be a much more caring place.
^^ THIS0 -
if someone told me im fat (which nobody does, because i'm not, because i work hard EVERY DAY),
Is it actually BECAUSE you feel like you work hard every day? Or is it because you were blessed with a normal metabolism that another might not have. Is it because you are free from medical conditions that others might not be. Is it because at 22 years you have not yet experienced the drop in metabolism that comes with age - let's not forget that many people (yes, I know, not me) on this site are in middle ages or beyond and obviously have a completely different battle to what you have. What an ignorant and judgemental post.
Seriously......I weighed 105 lbs when I was 22 and couldn't possibly understand what it would feel like to be 44 and needing to lose 30lbs (like I am now). I do know I never would have posted, or even thought, something like this.0 -
IF I WRITE IN ALL CAPS MAYBE IT WILL SOUND LIKE I KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!?
nice.
thanks to everyone for pointing out how clearly i have no clue what im talking about because im 22. because nobody has ever learned anything until they get old. nothing worthwhile has ever been done by anyone under 40. i DO understand that some people have medical issues, and that is not what i am talking about. i am talking about people who have it in them and under their power to get where they want to be, just make excuses for themselves.
to all the haters who (wait for it) cant handle the truth, sorry if you're offended. this post wasnt directed at you, it was directed at the people who feel like i do (and yay, i've found some of you guys!)
to all those truly motivated, stay that way. and to all those who would rather tell me why im wrong than prove why theyre right...i hope you meet your goals, too. just dont complain when you dont.0 -
Plain and simple, the same approach in motivation doesnt work on everyone. Just like all the so called things you have to do to lose weight dont work for everyone. You find what motivates you, YOU find what gets you to the goal. And finally if you are truly happy with size you are, the stamina, the flexibility, the active lifestyle you have achieved then I dont give a crap what any chart tells you what you should weigh.
So tough love worked for you, woo hoo. Me personally, I like a little of both...0 -
I am not at liberty to respond to this post because it would be violating at least 13 of the forum rules.......although you would definitely deserve it, I do not want to be banned. *biting the hell out of tongue and stepping away from keyboard*0
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Wow, remove the corn cob from deep within your colon. Everyone here is looking to better themselves.
^This. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
True, honesty needs to be at the core of every interaction for it to produce effective results. But what many call 'truth' is just judgement in disguise. Everyone's journey in life is different, so is the fitness element. This is a fitness site and with the varietry of members anyone can find the type of support they need, from the hardcore to the more casual.
While we need to be courageous enough to be honest , being strong enough to be compassionate is even more important (if one's goal is to reach people). To be successful, some people need a kick in the @$$ while others are better served by a helping hand. Wisdom is discerning who needs which. ; )
Good luck on your goals, and welcome!0 -
i'm starting to get irritated, feeling like i may be the only one here really able to handle "tough love". if someone told me im fat (which nobody does, because i'm not, because i work hard EVERY DAY), i'd be like "ok, theyre right" and vow to do something about it. i wouldn't fall into a shame spiral and eat ten boxes of ringdings and cry fat tears feeling sorry for myself.
I don't understand how being all lovey-dovey to each other ("you look great the way you are!" when theyre 200 lbs, etc) is helping ANYONE. those who say it are lying and those who need to lose weight (for their own health) are not being helped by this.
everyone needs to cut the BS and be realistic with themselves. that's what i do. that's why my "before" looks like your "after".
is anyone else actually SERIOUS about fitness, or is everyone just looking for a shoulder to cry on instead of a true sense of motivation?
nut up or shut up.
Why is it any business of yours? If you are losing weight and becoming happy with yourself then what the **** does it matter what everyone else says or does? I agree to some extent that people should be honest, however the way you have come across is a like a stuck up self righteous cow. Sorry, it needed to be said. People like you really piss me off. There are ways to get your point across.0 -
Wish I was so smart & wise & had all the answers when I was 22: Seriously, you are so wonderful, kind, caring. compassionate
Oh wait.....:laugh:0 -
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Maybe you have NO IDEA what theses people have really gone through... I was pretty at my before... I WAS HAPPY at my BEFORE, because I didn't know any better...
So when PEOPLE LIKE YOU, have THOUGHTS LIKE THIS...
KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF AND SHAME ON YOU FOR HAVING ZERO COMPASSION FOR WHAT EVENTS YOU HAVE NO CLUE OF!!!
YES, THAT SAYS 80 POUNDS LOST WOO HOO!!
Really...have some compassion. You've lost 14 lbs. That's really great. Now get over yourself. There is nothing wrong with honesty as long is it isn't cruelty masquerading as "honesty".0 -
I need popcorn! This is getting good!
No sir you need a ringding.....Honestly
:laugh: :laugh:0 -
u honest i think nasty!0
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I totally agree..................well no actually I don't. Boy it must be nice to be so perfect and odor free. You want no BS ok, this post makes you sound uppity and that you think you are better than others. I agree that I don't want to hear someone complain and not do something about it but man you came off like a total............. People respect no BS but not with your kind of uppity attitude
This^ I was working out a response and only came up with ones that would get me banned.
Look, I'm a b!tch, I am very much aware of this, but there is such a thing as tact and learning when to shut your mouth. I don't have tact, so I shut the hell up.
That was very tactful of you!0
This discussion has been closed.
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