Is a divorced woman/single mother less attractive?

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Replies

  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    Plus my son's dad has bailed, which means no drama for my suitor. :/

    This is going to sound awful, but God, I could only hope mine would do the same! :laugh:

    There's not a lot of drama between him & I any longer but only because I ignore him at any and all costs except when it explicitly concerns the children and their wellfare. Anything that even hits to crossing over into my personal life, he gets shut down immediately. That may sound harsh, but I honestly can't deal with my ex without those kinds of boundaries set.
    My ex is not allowed to drive down our street! My current boyfriend enforces that! He has to pick up and drop off the kids at the corner! Sounds harsh, but it was necessary, he is a real idiot!

    MAYBE.............this is a reason some men dont choose to be with single moms....the drama.....just sayin!

    Happy MILF fridays everyone!!!

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    This is true also, I'm still married but I also know how my husband would act after a divorce. I'd have to leave town to date:glasses:


    See FINALLY someone with a realistic view on things....hahahahah

    Happy MILF Friday!
  • jaxdiablo
    jaxdiablo Posts: 580
    Why not date a chick with kids? At least you know she puts out. lol

    At this point in my life, I'm not worried about how many kids she has, I'm curious how many more she wants. I'm starting to nest... I need kids dammit! lol
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    Divorced woman would be fine if it's one divorce, more than that I'd have to think about it.

    Single mom would be fine if I wanted kids, but since I don't, I would not date her.

    OK, but what about this? I'm a single mom, but my one and only child (and I don't want more) is 17 and a senior in high school. She still lives with me, but she's pretty much an adult at this point. A lot less responsibility on my part, she's pretty much raised.

    So, would you write off a woman like me if you liked everything else about her? There are degrees of "single mom," so saying you wouldn't date one because you don't want kids doesn't really cover it all.

    Having a guy judge you before he even knows you is bad news.
    Er I'm not a guy, and who is judging? I don't want kids. That doesn't mean I think people who have kids are bad people. It means I DON'T WANT TO RAISE A KID. It's the same as saying I wouldn't get involved with someone who wants to have kids in the future.

    And as for the question of "what if the kids were grown" well that might be an exception but 17 and living with you is not an exception in my book.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    I feel that way sometimes. A man will be all gung ho to talk to me until he finds out I'm a single mother. Oh well. I have a 2 year old and almost 5 year old boys...I'm divorced. So be it. I've dated a lot but do have a hard time finding a great guy who is both understanding and accepting of this "Package deal".

    Until then, I'm perfectly content being on my own! :wink: :happy:
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
    I feel that way sometimes. A man will be all gung ho to talk to me until he finds out I'm a single mother. Oh well. I have a 2 year old and almost 5 year old boys...I'm divorced. So be it. I've dated a lot but do have a hard time finding a great guy who is both understanding and accepting of this "Package deal".

    Until then, I'm perfectly content being on my own! :wink: :happy:

    This.
    What pisses me off is the guys that blatantly have told me the fact that I have son turns them off of me, yet these sh itbirds have their own kids, and that's ok.
    My partner has two daughters and I have my son, they both come first and that's just how it is. I'm so glad I'm not dating anymore! It sucks because I do think that being a single mom makes one less attractive for a man, just because of the fact we're not available 24/7. And yet if we did try and make the time, then we're a "bad mom". Ugh.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    I feel that way sometimes. A man will be all gung ho to talk to me until he finds out I'm a single mother. Oh well. I have a 2 year old and almost 5 year old boys...I'm divorced. So be it. I've dated a lot but do have a hard time finding a great guy who is both understanding and accepting of this "Package deal".

    Until then, I'm perfectly content being on my own! :wink: :happy:

    This.
    What pisses me off is the guys that blatantly have told me the fact that I have son turns them off of me, yet these sh itbirds have their own kids, and that's ok.
    My partner has two daughters and I have my son, they both come first and that's just how it is. I'm so glad I'm not dating anymore! It sucks because I do think that being a single mom makes one less attractive for a man, just because of the fact we're not available 24/7. And yet if we did try and make the time, then we're a "bad mom". Ugh.
    And honestly, it's not about being available 24/7...because no man wants to spend all that time with a significant other. It's that we aren't available when they want us to be!!! :tongue: :wink:
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    I feel that way sometimes. A man will be all gung ho to talk to me until he finds out I'm a single mother. Oh well. I have a 2 year old and almost 5 year old boys...I'm divorced. So be it. I've dated a lot but do have a hard time finding a great guy who is both understanding and accepting of this "Package deal".

    Until then, I'm perfectly content being on my own! :wink: :happy:

    This.
    What pisses me off is the guys that blatantly have told me the fact that I have son turns them off of me, yet these sh itbirds have their own kids, and that's ok.
    My partner has two daughters and I have my son, they both come first and that's just how it is. I'm so glad I'm not dating anymore! It sucks because I do think that being a single mom makes one less attractive for a man, just because of the fact we're not available 24/7. And yet if we did try and make the time, then we're a "bad mom". Ugh.
    Did you ever think that maybe they don't want to have more kids than they already do and that is their decision to make? What is so wrong with that?
  • TheCats_Meow
    TheCats_Meow Posts: 438 Member
    [/quote]
    i don't think it's your job to decide what someone else wants or doesn't want.
    [/quote]

    :smile:
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Any guy who wont date a single mom is not really much of a man!

    Sorry, but this is categorically untrue and unfair.

    Some men don't want children, and it takes more of a man to be honest about that from the very beginning than to allow a woman to become emotionally invested in him and then say "I can't marry you because I don't want kids."
  • luvJOJO
    luvJOJO Posts: 1,881 Member
    WTF????

    Well I'm not divorced but I am a single mother and all I have to say is if a man doesn't except my son then he's not worth my time period!! And if I'm "less attractive" to him because I have a kid then he's freakin shallow as hell anyway. I can see it being more complicated for him because we are a package deal, but "less attractive" I don't get at all.
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    Any guy who wont date a single mom is not really much of a man!

    Sorry, but this is categorically untrue and unfair.

    Some men don't want children, and it takes more of a man to be honest about that from the very beginning than to allow a woman to become emotionally invested in him and then say "I can't marry you because I don't want kids."

    Totally 100% agree.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    It doesn't make a guy bad because he won't date a single mom. Especially depending on where he is in life.

    Lets face it. I'm 37. Guys around my age range seem to be either : Divorced with kids of their own..and maybe timid or not ready to get into a relationship and they are spread thin enough themselves and have a hard time balancing. OR they have never been married and want to be...and start a family of their own..OR They've never been married and dont have kids..and don't want any.

    I'm open-minded and if/when the right person comes along to mesh with MY life..then YAYY!! lol!

    But I have come to accept my situation does narrow the field a lot. in a good day. Because I wouldn't want a guy who isn't into my boys and I 110%. :smile:
  • TheCats_Meow
    TheCats_Meow Posts: 438 Member
    Any guy who wont date a single mom is not really much of a man!

    Sorry, but this is categorically untrue and unfair.

    Some men don't want children, and it takes more of a man to be honest about that from the very beginning than to allow a woman to become emotionally invested in him and then say "I can't marry you because I don't want kids."

    Very, very true! It does take a lot to be 100% honest from the get-go.
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,850 Member
    Any guy who wont date a single mom is not really much of a man!

    Sorry, but this is categorically untrue and unfair.

    Some men don't want children, and it takes more of a man to be honest about that from the very beginning than to allow a woman to become emotionally invested in him and then say "I can't marry you because I don't want kids."

    props to you whoever you are. this is exactly what i said earlier, worded much more succinctly.
  • SAC0O3
    SAC0O3 Posts: 95
    It depends on the sort of life they live. If you can tell that they are single/divorced for a reason (other then not finding their soul mate) then yes, they are less attractive.
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,069 Member
    Obviously we are dealing with generalizations, but I would prefer to date a divorced woman/single mother than a single woman. They are by far (IMO) more mature, and have a better understanding of what they are looking for in life. They are less likely to string a guy along for gifts and free drinks at the bar, with NO intention of building a relationship.

    Give me a woman with some battle scars. She is more likely to appreciate that she has a good guy like myself.
  • luvJOJO
    luvJOJO Posts: 1,881 Member
    Give me a woman with some battle scars. She is more likely to appreciate that she has a good guy like myself.

    Agree!!!
  • paravision
    paravision Posts: 148
    Oh, screw it. I tried to post a link to my "I (heart) Hot Moms" t-shirt, but it didn't work. :)

    Anyway, to answer the question, absolutely NOT. Divorce happens. Sometimes, through no fault of either party. There are times when both parties realize they're just not a match and are better off not being a couple. That's how it was with me when I was married (and divorced). It was probably the friendliest divorce ever, and we remained friends.

    And kids? The only issue there is that they can be an inconvenience in getting together, but true adults can deal with that and understand that the kids always come first. So no...kids aren't an issue either.

    The only thing that matters is, do the two people wanna be together? If so, previous relationships and children aren't the least bit important.
    I agree! I am a single mother too and guess what? I am more responsible and unselfish because of it! I focus on raising my kids to be awesome little loving polite behaved little people so at this point if I let you in my life you are blessed to get all that comes with me! <3
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    When I met my wife, she was divorced with two girls. I proposed on the second date. We will celebrate our 20th anniversary next year. Those two girls are now 29 and 27 and the best things that ever happened to me in my life. Along with the 18 yr old daughter we also have together. If I could do it over, I wouldn't change a thing.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member

    As the mother of a child whose father bailed, no you don't. As long as he's a good dad to his kids, don't wish him away. They need him.

    I completely understand where you're coming from so it's all good. "Good dad" is always a debatable opinion, though. :smile:

    Absolutely. And if he's not a good dad and is making the kids' lives worse just by being in them, that's a whole different thing. I just think, if you have the option and he loves his kids and does his best, it's better to have him than not.

    The sad thing about my daughter's father is he's been a very good dad to the two daughters he had years later, but has not even bothered to contact me to ask about his oldest in all these years. I get a few hundred dollars in my bank account every month and that's the extent of his involvement. It makes me sad because I think they both could have benefitted from a relationship with each other.

    Oh, well.

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