Your man cook and do dishes?

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  • Craig_hyde
    Craig_hyde Posts: 161 Member
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    me and my (now) ex (though I remain hopeful we're just on a break atm) had a bit of a deal going on. I would cook some main courses and some desserts. I am excellent at making souffles, even if I struggle with their spelling, and knew how to properly cook a steak to her liking.

    In return, she would also cook some main courses like bolognese, veg-lasagne etc as well as bake bread, cakes and pastry dishes.

    Sometimes we would even have competitions about who could cook the better foodstuff, which both resulted in us winning as we both fed each other a well cooked and healthy meal :-)
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
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    Since I have been hurt, I do the vast majority of the cooking and cleaning around the house. And leaf blowers are okay to use for dusting, if everything is secured properly.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I'm lucky enough to have a man that does both! We have an unspoken agreement that we've upheld for the last 3 years...if one of us does the cooking, the other does the dishes and cleanup. It's a great way to compromise and express your gratitude for the cook!

    I hate doing the dishes because it takes so much longer than cooking dinner. Doing the dishes is like 1.5+ times the amount of work that preparing dinner is...at least in our house.

    Unless I'm cleaning up after a huge party, the longest it's ever taken me to do dishes was 20 minutes. And I always wash every dish by hand.
  • mindfulmunching
    mindfulmunching Posts: 62 Member
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    So if it not teamwork and even asking for him to pitch in he does not offer, how do you constructively encourage him? I end up feeling resentful and then guilty for being such a child for feeling resentful and the cycle continues LOL.
  • anewattitude
    anewattitude Posts: 483 Member
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    I'm usualy home before my fiance is so I will attempt the cooking( and I do mean "attempt", seeing as I'm a culinary disaster!) He will do some clean-up afterwards such as putting leftovers in containers and loading the dishwasher. Anything that requires hand washing is mostly left up to me. He will also unload the dishwasher and put away most things .If he is unsure where they go he will leave them on the counter for me to put away because asking me where they belong is clearly not on his agenda! ha ha. All and all I say we split up the housework. I do all the laundry because I enjoy doing laundry. We both take out the garbage but I leave the yard work up to him. I like the way I clean better anway because his version of cleaning is moving one pile to a different side of the room and in my opinion, flushing the toilet a few times in a row does not make it automatically clean! lol
  • Queen_JessieA
    Queen_JessieA Posts: 1,059 Member
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    So do your husbands take part in the cooking and dishes in your house or is that a job that falls on the woman? How do you balance the workload? Tricky as a newlywed to demand help. Just wondering.....

    I am blessed with the best of men. I cook only because I truly enjoy it. He helps w/ dishes and cleaning and laundry. I can probably count on one hand the times I have mopped our hard floors because he generally does it himself. Housework needs to be a joint adventure, imo :)
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,954 Member
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    When we first got married he helped with the dishes but for cooking he just stays out of my kitchen. :) The man can rock a BBQ though! Now that we've been married for 20 years and have four kids he pretty much never does the dishes and I only rarely do them. The kids do them as part of their chores unless I'm making a cake or doing a lot of baking/cooking for some reason. Then I'll have pity on them and take a few turns. They even cook dinner a couple of times a week so I don't have to do that all the time either. I don't know what we're going to do when they start moving out! :D
  • KMSForLife
    KMSForLife Posts: 605
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    So if it not teamwork and even asking for him to pitch in he does not offer, how do you constructively encourage him? I end up feeling resentful and then guilty for being such a child for feeling resentful and the cycle continues LOL.

    I wouldn't be constructive - I'd just tell him to get off his *kitten*
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    For cooking it depends on the time of year: In the summer, he's the grill master so he cooks the meats and I just throw something simple together for a side dish and veggie. This time of year, I do the majority of the cooking but he will help with prep once in a while. And I do the dishes.

    We're kind of old fashioned with our division of chores. I do all the inside/womanly stuff (cleaning, cooking, laundry) and he handles all the outside/manly stuff - mow the lawn, take out the trash, keep the wood stove going in the winter, shovel/snowblow, fix the broken water heater, etc etc. I'll help him out with things like stacking wood but I don't mind because it gives us a chance to hang out and it's good exercise! He's tried to help me clean but we just end up arguing and it's not worth it...
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    I could all meals M-F! I LOVE to cook.... it is so totally one of my pastimes. I also prefer this as my financial mind is at peace knowing I'm in full control and aware of our food budget each week. Weekends it is basically "You are on your own!" as we only eat out on rare occasion. I always do laundry as I like it done a certain way. He basically is there to do things I ask of him... sometimes dishes, trash, warm up the car, vacuum the stairs. Otherwise he does his thing and lets me run the house. Even if I was working this would be the way as I hate outdoors work and car maintenance so he deals with that while I do the indoors stuff. Just makes sense.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    We each do the things we're better at - I cook, clean, do dishes, etc. He mows the lawn, fixes the roof, builds the pond, repairs the hot tub .. basically, he makes the house liveable, I make it beautiful. It works for us.
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    My husband does help! Only problem is that I hate his cooking and he can't load a dishwasher worth a crap! I smile, say thank you honey, then rearrange everything!
    Oh. My. Gosh. My husband puts dishes in the dishwasher and they come out still dirty! So iritating... plus he never puts things back right so our cupboards get all disorganized. I have given him multiple lessons and advice on it as his parents never made him do it. But oh well! One of the things I can joke about with him.
  • CapsFan17
    CapsFan17 Posts: 198
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    I've been married for 4 years, we split most of the cooking, and cleaning used to be an issue for us. I hate doing the dishes. So now he will load the dish washer and I put it all away. And anything hand wash gets cleaned by whoever got it dirty. Ask for help if he won't volunteer it, the longer you wait the worse it will make you feel. Good luck finding what will work for you! :flowerforyou:
  • mrsmellymac
    mrsmellymac Posts: 236 Member
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    my hubby is an amazing cook!! (part of the reason I packed on the lbs) But no, he doesn't do dishes and doesn't clean up after himself.

    same here. My hubs is an amazing cook and extremely inventive! But I have to clean up after him, which is a pain in my butt
  • saverys_gal
    saverys_gal Posts: 808 Member
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    Nope!

    Mine pitches in when I'm sick or he feels the need to, but our unspoken rule is that he handles all of the "mechanical" work and all the stuff outside and inside is more my area. Works out well for the most part as my hubby can't really cook to save his life, he doesn't clean the way I like it done, and he works in excess of 80 hours a week.

    All that being said, we still try and help one another out. It's tough but marriage is about compromising and finding ways to make it work! :love:
  • dimplzz
    dimplzz Posts: 456 Member
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    So do your husbands take part in the cooking and dishes in your house or is that a job that falls on the woman? How do you balance the workload? Tricky as a newlywed to demand help. Just wondering.....

    My husband does all of it! I am a VERY lucky lady! He cleans, does the dishes, does the laundry, and anything else that needs to be done. I don't even have to ask. I think that he is naturally one of those clean freaks that tends to drive me crazy at times. "Honey, it is OK to leave that one bowl in the sink!" lol I do most of the cooking but if it is something easy like hamburger helper or an easy hotdish, he will do that as well.
  • JennC831
    JennC831 Posts: 631 Member
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    My husband & I share the workload for the most part... He cleans slower than I do and maybe doesn't get things AS clean as I'd like.. But I'll take it!! LOL.. At least he tries.. Which is all that matters to me...
  • JennC831
    JennC831 Posts: 631 Member
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    So do your husbands take part in the cooking and dishes in your house or is that a job that falls on the woman? How do you balance the workload? Tricky as a newlywed to demand help. Just wondering.....

    My husband does all of it! I am a VERY lucky lady! He cleans, does the dishes, does the laundry, and anything else that needs to be done. I don't even have to ask. I think that he is naturally one of those clean freaks that tends to drive me crazy at times. "Honey, it is OK to leave that one bowl in the sink!" lol I do most of the cooking but if it is something easy like hamburger helper or an easy hotdish, he will do that as well.


    Whoo, I can't stand when dishes are left in the sink!! LOL... Especially after everything has been cleaned.. LOL..
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    He does! But I prefer to cook (so I know how to log) and I prefer to make The Child do the dishes (no freeloaders in my house!)
    Amen. I know kids are beautiful, watching them grow up is special, 'miracle of life' and all that. But having my kids feed the dogs, do laundy and help with the dishes is what really warms my heart. It's free labor!
  • SeasideOasis
    SeasideOasis Posts: 1,057 Member
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    I have heard that my boyfriend used to cook. When we first started dating about two years ago, I couldnt do more than boil spaghetti and sautee shrimp.

    Now, I cant get the boy to cook A THING haha I have also become a REALLY good cook. My boyfriend will be open an honest if something sucks. Only once did he say he wouldn't really enjoy something. It had nothing to do with how it was cooked, however, it was just the overall dish wasn't as great as we expected.

    We are 50/50 on the dishes. He does a pretty fair amount of cleaning as he gets to work from home and I have to go into the office.

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