Your man cook and do dishes?

richardholt2011

Mine does - I thought if i got him to do the cooking and the dishes it would be an incentive for him to go out and get a job. Fat chance, if you will pardon the expression.

ellisalockwood

My husband is awesome. We both work full time and he goes to school part time. I do almost all the cooking, he has a few meals that are his to prepare alone, but the rest is all mine, I love to cook. We have 5 kids at home, so they do all the day to day clean up throughout the house (I have a very specific chores list for each day). He does the laundry while I get the kids homework done, baths done and ready for bed. He irons my clothes every morning after he brings me coffee and he does all the grocery shopping.

On the weekends though, I clean the inside of the house and he will do anything that needs to be done outside, and if there's nothing outside he's usually stuck doing his homework. It's all very routine, but with a big family, it works better for us and then when we get a night outside of our norm it's just that much better.

MinnieInMaine

So if it not teamwork and even asking for him to pitch in he does not offer, how do you constructively encourage him? I end up feeling resentful and then guilty for being such a child for feeling resentful and the cycle continues LOL.

If he's not doing his part in some way, you need to talk to him in a nice calm constructive way to let him know you need his help and would like him to volunteer it instead of having to ask and feel like you're nagging him. And when he does do things, especially without your encouragement, make sure you praise him (with words AND actions...hint hint). I know it sounds corny and/or condescending but most people aren't used to being thanked and feeling good about doing things they don't want to. If you compliment them and thank them (men and women), hopefully it'll sink in that it's a good thing and they'll keep doing it. And, please, for goodness sake, if he does mess up, don't belittle him about it because he'll never do it again.

Communication is vital, especially in new relationships. If you can't figure out how to talk to each other now, it's sure not going to get any better, sorry to say... The best you can do is try. Don't nag, don't criticize, be nice and calm and clear. If all that doesn't help, you're just going to have to chalk it up to him being how he is and love him anyway and get over your resentments.

live2dream

It's a struggle. Watch the John Gray video on The Art of Love series...it gave me some ideas... http://lovesummit.com/event... it's only up for free until 7:30 CST today though!

IMYarnCraz33

My hubby is a clean freak!!!
He's been known to do dishes (he knows I hate doing them), & on occasion he vacuums & has done laundry.
Maybe it's due to when he lived on his own before meeting me L0L
And he helps with the kids and some other things. I am blessed to have him in my life.

Although.....
he still leaves his socks & undies on the floor in the bathroom or bedroom from time to time. :grumble:

HeidiMightyRawr

My bf and I cook for ourselves so I can have control over what I eat and what goes into it. He's becoming quite the chef though, always looking up new recipes and online cooking tutorials. Wants to make his own bread, apple/orange/blackberry crumble, pies. You name it, he wants to make it, and wants me to try it We've agreed as long as he notes everything that goes into it, and weighs it when it's done so it can be a recipe on here, then I'll be having some.
He does the dishes too I help him out if I'm home in the day and cook more than usual, but mainly it's him who does it. He's a much better housekeeper than I am, I'm just terrible.

ellisalockwood

Me and my husband are very laid back and playful, so when I want him to do something he doesn't want to do I just say, if you do this for me I'll _____ for/to you tonight. And he usually completes both tasks with a big smile. lol.

flabulous4

Some questions:

1) Do you both work (or have other things that take up your time such as caring responsibilities)? Does one of you work more hours than the other?
2) Did your husband help out before you got married, and have you set out any expectations?
3) Have you considered going on strike?

My OH loves to cook (that's how come I'm on here!), we have a dishwasher, I do a lot of the child-rearing, homework, child admin, doctors' appointments. We both work full-time but I can be more flexible so I do quite a few errands. Works for us (oh and we have a cleaner which is wonderful).

Good luck!

chocolateandvodka

when i was married.....


i did not want my husband anywhere near the kitchen or the laundry room. seriously. he messed up everything. i'm one of those weird freaks who organizes things exactly where she likes them and then bites your hand if you touch. even my side of the closet was organized by style, occasion, color, etc.
by the same rule, i was not allowed to touch the lawn equipment or such. i always broke things. sometimes i tagged along on mechanical jobs just to learn how or for curiosity's sake, or because it was simply a two person job. and sometimes, out of dire necessity, he did the dishes or cooked a meal or did laundry. but when one of us did the other person's "job".... the other always paid when we resumed our own duties.

this was a guy who thought a "full load of laundry" was 2 pairs of jeans. and who also insisted the greasy plates in the cupboard were "clean". not.

BigDaddyBRC

I am the Man, I wear the pants, But I also have to play House BIOTCH because I am the ONLY one.

otr12

My husband earns money and I don't. So I do everything else.
We like it this way.

baisleac

So do your husbands take part in the cooking and dishes in your house or is that a job that falls on the woman? How do you balance the workload? Tricky as a newlywed to demand help. Just wondering.....

My husband is a stay at home dad... he does most of the dishes/laundry/cleaning/etc. I do most of the cooking because I enjoy cooking.

Honestly... I should do more around the house than I do.

dandrews010

Unfortunately, both things are against my religion.

baisleac

He does! But I prefer to cook (so I know how to log) and I prefer to make The Child do the dishes (no freeloaders in my house!)

I can't wait until our slave...err... kiddo is old enough to help do the dishes. :laugh:

jskaggs1971

My wife and I share the cooking, but I do almost all of the kitchen cleanup. You see, she does it wrong.

I'm a "clean as you go" cook, due to long-ago experience in commercial kitchens. My wife does not clean as she goes, and leaves the kitchen a disaster after she cooks. However, she's a fantastic baker, so it all works out in the end.

She does the laundry, though. She says I do it wrong.

cpeterson70

I prefer to do the cooking. My husband can cook, but I just prefer my food to his...especially since I have been cooking for both of us for about 11 years. I think he has really forgotten all he knew. He can still make Mac 'N Cheese from a box :-) He does do most of the dishes, laundry etc. It seems he doesn't do the floors or the litter box. I don't expect him to do the litter box though. I had my cat before we got married. He was only forced to do the litter box when I was pregnant...and didn't do a good job with it.

Can't wait until I feel my kids are ready to do the dishes. My daughter probably should be given the job now. She's 8 1/2. Is that too young?

TheRoadDog

I do all the cooking. I get home 2 hours before she does. Plus I like it. I clean as I go.

At big events like Xmas, Thanksgiving, whatever, she supports in whatever help I need, whether it be clean up, side dishes, desserts or banging the cook.

baisleac

Can't wait until I feel my kids are ready to do the dishes. My daughter probably should be given the job now. She's 8 1/2. Is that too young?

Heck to the No... you have to start 'em young. I was the dish slave as soon as I was tall enough to reach the bottom of the sink when standing on my little step stool. :laugh:

Might want to tandem wash for a bit though.

loved11

My hubby of 30 years does all that and more. He even cleans litterboxes. Only thing I can't get him to do is dust but who cares when he does everything else. I work full time and when we got married I told him that I expected him to help around the house. He used to insist on me doing his ironing....until I deliberately put a double crease in his pants. Now he does his own!

Actually his Mom raised him right!

My hubby too. He does it all. We have 10 kids and I stay home. He is amazing at all of it. We just do what we can, we each have our strengths. He grocery shops and coupons because he is amazing with money and time. I do kids, teens, schools etc.. we just work as a team and communicate. Communication is key! !!!!!!
His mom was a exceptional person, she taught him well also

megz4987

My fiancé is not allowed near the dishes haha. Hes tried being nice and helping out with them but they don't look clean enough to me when he's done with them and I end up recleaning. He does cook from time to time though it's a nice treat to not have to cook!