married women,does your man...?

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  • gurlondrums
    gurlondrums Posts: 187
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    I gained alot of weight with pregnancy and I actually have self-image issues. I've lost 22lbs so far and I'd like to lose maybe 60-ish more, and I can't see a difference and I'm no where near happy with myself. However, my husband has never ever ever EVER said anything about my weight, he's always said loving things, and he's always tried to get me in the sack on a nightly basis (although lately it seems like an hourly basis since I bought fitting "girly" clothes and a pair of heels, lol).

    hahaha that's totally cute that's very interesting although i also wonder sorry for those weird questions.... is it because he's heavier i mean what iuf he;s an athlete or so into body image would he care more about your image or just about the way HE looks?

    My hubby's not an athlete but he is a former soldier (Army). He's very conscious of his own looks, he's thin, somewhat muscular. Borderline metrosexual. I think that adds to my self-image issues (ie "he's skinny and hot, why can't I be?") He likes to look at the girls in the movies and the magazines and such too, but it's never been a problem between us. He's never pointed at someone and said "I wish you looked like her". Although, he did used to call me his "trophy wife" and I can't recall him doing that as of late. But he's always saying loving things. He calls me "beautiful" all the time instead of Veronica. So... I don't know. I've never had any issues with him. I told him I want an elliptical and he's promised me one for my birthday (December 11). So yay on that! hehe, I don't know. I hope your hubby isn't being rude to you about your body/weight/etc. That's not right.
  • MrsJax11
    MrsJax11 Posts: 354 Member
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    SO is it easier to lose weight while your married or before marriage??

    Well, my profile pic is from our wedding day, and my fattest point ever. I was 206 in that picture, and I am just under 5'7. I am, however, blessed with a lot of muscle mass and proportionality. We were just discussing this issue this morning and he said that I was beautiful and hot then, and am even hotter now, especially since I have lost a lot of belly, and he is happy that I still have curves and a 'hot a**.'
    I think the biggest thing is that we started the process together and we are very supportive of each other...
    when we got married we also decided that we were going to budget both our finances and our food intake -- to have a healthy bank account and bodies.
    We invested in some used kayaks and home workout equipment, and make sure that we are both taking advantage of them.
    I think it is easier with a support system.
  • gurlondrums
    gurlondrums Posts: 187
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    SO is it easier to lose weight while your married or before marriage??

    I don't think it makes a difference. It was much easier for me to lose weight before my 2 pregnancies. And now, I'm a busy-body so it's difficult to get exercise in every single day or stick to my meal plan (ie sometimes my 4 year old steals all my whole grain bread for peanut butter and banana sandwiches, hehe). But I don't know if I understand the question, are you implying juggling everything once you're married as opposed to single life and only worrying about yourself? We didn't have a big wedding, we went to a JP, so it didn't really feel any different till people called me by his last name. So it was just I'm single, now I'm married, I guess. As for the diet/exercise thing, I haven't notice a giant change.
  • UrbanRunner81
    UrbanRunner81 Posts: 1,207 Member
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    Mine says he doesn't care and he doesn't seem too. BUT he definitely chases me a little more now that I'm losing some weight.

    ^^^ I agree with that. After losing weight I catch him looking at me.

    I don't know if it is easier to lose weight being single vs being married. I was thin when I met him. It does make it easier to have somebody on board with your lifestyle changes. He wanted to lose weight and wanted to eat better so we helped each other. It helps to have somebody who likes to exercise, too.
  • runnerjenn0708
    runnerjenn0708 Posts: 400 Member
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    doesnt really matter .. i care
  • kristelpoole
    kristelpoole Posts: 440 Member
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    Mine cares and I have to say if he gained a significant amount of weight I'd care too. I'm not talking a few pounds here and there (like over Xmas or after a baby) but a good few pounds (anything over a stone or more). I think it shows that he cares about me if he looks after his health (so that he can make sure he's around for me for as long as possible). Same goes both ways.

    I wouldn't put up with excessive drinking, drug abuse or smoking. Excessive eating and lack of exercise can be just as damaging to your health long-term and it annoys me when people make excuses for this.

    This.
  • monkeefun
    monkeefun Posts: 271 Member
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    Mine claims to never even have noticed when I put on 40+ pounds after meeting him. He insists I was always just as beautiful as when we met. However, he HAS acknowledged that I've dropped a bit and that THAT'S made a difference, but his concern is that I am healthy, and that I am happy with how I am. That's what he says, anyway ;-). He knows I have ups and downs (currently I'm in a down, unfortunately...working on getting back on that wagon...), but he never ridicules or insults or asks when I'm going to work out or do I really need that Pepsi. I think I lucked out with him ;-).

    He does also say, however, that he doesn't like women who are too thin. He likes having something to grab onto, he says. He is as fit as he could possibly be - my BMI is definitely higher than his, but he says he's happy. I'm lucky enough to be proportionate, so I guess it works out ;-)
  • chanstriste13
    chanstriste13 Posts: 3,277 Member
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    Research shows that marriages are more successful and men are more satisfied when the wife's BMI is lower than her husbands.

    bleh bleh bleh...:grumble:

    according to research i should be in counseling, divorced and have two and a half children...

    no research covers all the bases.

    my husband digged me on the way up, and he's diggin' me on the way down. and if his weight ever goes up (which seems like it never will - he's one of those stubbornly athletic type people) or he loses half of his face or whatever, i'll still dig him just as much.
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
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    SO is it easier to lose weight while your married or before marriage??

    I don't think it makes a difference. It was much easier for me to lose weight before my 2 pregnancies. And now, I'm a busy-body so it's difficult to get exercise in every single day or stick to my meal plan (ie sometimes my 4 year old steals all my whole grain bread for peanut butter and banana sandwiches, hehe). But I don't know if I understand the question, are you implying juggling everything once you're married as opposed to single life and only worrying about yourself? We didn't have a big wedding, we went to a JP, so it didn't really feel any different till people called me by his last name. So it was just I'm single, now I'm married, I guess. As for the diet/exercise thing, I haven't notice a giant change.



    Oh noo i'm not married haha! sorry if you feel i wasted your time but i was extremely curious because Guys my age these days (18) seem to like what''s hot and hate what isn't i guess because they just wana mess around and are not ready for relationships that are so serious. So i wanted to know what it's like when your married and how their mentality is. I now know from most of your answers that they don;t mind as long as the wife is happy and healthy and confident is mostly important;.
    I also was wondering cuz my dad is the type that would notice such stuff though my mom is chubbier than him but not fat because she gave birth to 5. About the weightloss before or after marriage i meant, does marriage life and living with your husband cause you to eat more or does it suppress your appetite i know this is so weird but i was once inlove with someone and through out that phase i ate less because i kinda lost my appetite it just wasn't romantic for me to think of food during something charming i know itt's weirdd but it's like watching a romantic movie... i never like eating during that

    thanks a lottt for the replies !!! great answers :D
  • ch178
    ch178 Posts: 364 Member
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    My husband never said anything about the weight gain. I did gain it from not eating the greatest when I was pregnant. When I told him that I wanted to lose the weight he did say he would like me to be back the way I was when we met which was about 70lbs smaller, but that he loved me either way. Now that I'm losing the weight he wants to lose some too
  • ABetterBalance
    ABetterBalance Posts: 298
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    My hubby's not an athlete but he is a former soldier (Army). He's very conscious of his own looks, he's thin, somewhat muscular. Borderline metrosexual. I think that adds to my self-image issues (ie "he's skinny and hot, why can't I be?") He likes to look at the girls in the movies and the magazines and such too, but it's never been a problem between us. He's never pointed at someone and said "I wish you looked like her". Although, he did used to call me his "trophy wife" and I can't recall him doing that as of late. But he's always saying loving things. He calls me "beautiful" all the time instead of Veronica. So... I don't know. I've never had any issues with him. I told him I want an elliptical and he's promised me one for my birthday (December 11). So yay on that! hehe, I don't know. I hope your hubby isn't being rude to you about your body/weight/etc. That's not right.

    Veronica- you/your situation sound very similar to me. Except my husband is also over weight right now (wasn't always the case when he was Air Force).

    I have a December birthday too, and two years ago I convinced my husband to get me a treadmill. :happy:
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    i don't care

    He's a liar.

    I think you're projecting your feelings. Maybe he doesn't care, or as, in my case, of course I care about my wife's weight. I want her healthy.

    It has no factory, however, in my commitment to her, our family or our relationship. They should add "through thick and thin" to the wedding vows.

    My wife put her weight on, having my three daughters. She is working at reducing, but if she never loses her weight, I will not love her less. I love her more for the sacrifice she has made to give me the greatest gifts I have ever been given.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    care about how chubby/thin you get? let's say your bmi is 25-24, proportional ,and shorter than him ... does he care if you're not thin or fit as long as your proportional?... any experiences i'm just curious about what husbands think
    thanks in advance i know it's a weird question.

    my fiance liked me at 147lbs and he likes me at 123lbs. he is happier with me at this weight because i am happier, and i am happy to dress up for him and i have more confidence, wear more skirts and dresses etc etc.
  • hoppinglark
    hoppinglark Posts: 213 Member
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    I don't care, but I wish my wife would sort of make up her mind.
    One minute she's all, "I'm gross and I need to lose 100+ pounds"
    then five minutes later she's stuffing herself with Ice Cream.

    Appearance is very little to me, behavior is everything to me.
    If she'd want to go and do the things I want to do instead of shooting down every idea i have
    I'd be much happier.
  • JStarnes
    JStarnes Posts: 5,576 Member
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    Either he doesn't care, or he's smart enough to pretend he doesn't care what size I am. :wink: :tongue:
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
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    My husband seems to be more concerned with my health but I'm sure he enjoys me being a bit smaller...as I'm a bit more flexible... ;)

    At the end of the day, he has loved me to the moon and back no matter what size I am.
  • triplej64
    triplej64 Posts: 4 Member
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    My husband cares...but he mostly cares that as I'm losing weight, I am losing my round butt (which he loves). He tells me not to go lower than 145 because I have been in the 130's and he was not happy. I just laugh and remind him that happy wife = happy life.
  • ellisalockwood
    ellisalockwood Posts: 31
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    My husband didn't want me to lose weight, but I was about 60lbs lighter when we met (still not as small as I want to go though). I told him that I would have more energy, he says, "babe you're not lazy" I said I would be happier and he said, "I will support anything that you think you need to make you happier, but you look fine the way you are." I said I will be more sexually active, he says, "Let me look up some things, maybe we can count calories and set up an excercise regimine, I'll work out with you so you don't get discouraged, what is your goal and by when, we can do this together, LET'S GET YOU THIN!!!." LOL. That's my hubby in a nutshell.
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
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    Of course I care!
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
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    My fiance doesn't seem to care either way. Course no matter what I lose my butt seems to stay the same size so I think that pleases him haha. But he definitely doesn't want me to get really skinny, not that he would go anywhere he would probably just start blending cheetos into my smoothies haha

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