married women,does your man...?

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  • artsiefartsiek
    artsiefartsiek Posts: 21
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    I'm married and he loves me just the way I am. I am trying to loos weight to regain my confidence and he supports me. He says if I gain or loos he will still not care as long as its not causing health concerns.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
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    Mine says he doesn't care and he doesn't seem too. BUT he defintely chases me a little more now that I'm losing some weight.

    ^^^This.
  • mrschappet
    mrschappet Posts: 488 Member
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    My hubby doesn't care as long as I am happy. The only time he gives his opinion is when it comes to my *kitten*.. lol he loves me to have a little junk in the trunk LOL.. but then I remind him I can't spot reduce or increase fat hehehehe... really he is good about it. And if he ever "complains" its when he thinks I am being too hard on myself.. but then he always says he loves me and my body no matter what. and sure this sounds so corny but he really is just that supportive :-) I'm pretty lucky
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
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    I don't care, but I wish my wife would sort of make up her mind.
    One minute she's all, "I'm gross and I need to lose 100+ pounds"
    then five minutes later she's stuffing herself with Ice Cream.

    Appearance is very little to me, behavior is everything to me.
    If she'd want to go and do the things I want to do instead of shooting down every idea i have
    I'd be much happier.


    This is partially my husband attitude - though he likes fit/athletic/healthy women, not anorexic thin.
    He's very active - and as long as I'm doing those things with him (jogs, backpacking, hiking, snowboarding, skiing, etc)
    he's happy. And doing those things keeps you fit and I enjoy them. If I wasn't into doing those things with him I'm sure we would not be married... no one wants to always be doing things alone.
  • smpearce13
    smpearce13 Posts: 32 Member
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    My wife has gone through all aspects skinny/larger since we've been together (10+ years now). I've never lost any desire for her (and show it in several ways, including trying to molest her pretty much daily!) She was about a 14-16 when we met, got up to a size 22 +, and then decided to have gastric bypass about 5 years ago. She expected to get down to a 10-12 at most, but went down to a 2-4. At one point she was a little too unhealthy (5'8" and hovering at 100 lbs), but she gained that back, and it 135 lbs now.

    Throughout all parts of it the only time I commented when at the extremes (we parked a little further in the parking lot once and by the time we got to the movie theater, she was breathing heavy and sweating, and then when she got too skinny), and both of those were health concerns. I still would get her flowers occasionally (god bless Sam's Club!), of course ravage her (even when she was larger).

    I was/am less concerned with how she looked, than how she felt. She made the decision to do the surgery (and I supported her, but wasn't super excited about it. Stuff like that freaks me out).

    I think men care less about how their wives look (to some level), than how much they show us they care! Some men it's cooking, some it's sex (probably alot, myself included), etc. I don't hear many guys say they'll cheat or leave their spouses because they gained some weight or are bigger, but take away the things we like, especially if it's something that attracted us to you in the first place...... :)
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
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    My husband prefers a bit of squish, but he also knew how down I was about myself right after having our babies. He loved how I looked pregnant, along with a bit of the "yeah, that baby in there? I did that." bravado. Lol

    Because I'm excited about losing weight, and feeling better about myself, he is happy and supportive. And when the lingerie from my bridal shower fits again, he'll be even happier. :-)
    It really is about the confidence behind being fit and at a healthy weight. When you feel good, you treat yourself better, and you start walking like you mean it.
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
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    care about how chubby/thin you get? let's say your bmi is 25-24, proportional ,and shorter than him ... does he care if you're not thin or fit as long as your proportional?... any experiences i'm just curious about what husbands think
    thanks in advance i know it's a weird question.

    No he doesn't care. He didn't fall in love with me because of what I looked like, and if he did, I wouldn't have agreed to marry him. We may pick on each other (not mean or anything) from time to time, but neither one of us wanted to get hooked up with someone so shallow that they'd judge us if we gained or lost weight. Life is too short to spend it with someone who would rather whine about my BMI than how I actually treat them.
  • sdwelk11
    sdwelk11 Posts: 825
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    My Hubby and I have both gained weight together. He doesnt like super thin women and has always told me that he loves me the way I am as long as I am healthy. I love him how he is no matter what weight he is but I can say that the smaller that the couple is the more interesting sex can be... sorry just saying!!!!!!!! we have a wonderful marriage and he told me once that he would never leave because of my weight if our marriage ever fell apart....
  • sdwelk11
    sdwelk11 Posts: 825
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    care about how chubby/thin you get? let's say your bmi is 25-24, proportional ,and shorter than him ... does he care if you're not thin or fit as long as your proportional?... any experiences i'm just curious about what husbands think
    thanks in advance i know it's a weird question.

    No he doesn't care. He didn't fall in love with me because of what I looked like, and if he did, I wouldn't have agreed to marry him. We may pick on each other (not mean or anything) from time to time, but neither one of us wanted to get hooked up with someone so shallow that they'd judge us if we gained or lost weight. Life is too short to spend it with someone who would rather whine about my BMI than how I actually treat them.

    exactly how my hubby and I are!!!!!!!!! glad to see we aren't the only couple that feel this way
  • maddmaddie
    maddmaddie Posts: 160 Member
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    I'm not married, but I've been with the same guy for over 2 years. When we first met I weighed 175 lbs (at my highest) and now I weigh 160 lbs and still losing. I know all of his ex-girlfriends were thin (100-130 lbs) and ALL of them cheated on him. I sense that he is worried that I will get more attention if I lose more weight. He's told me that he loves me just the way I am which is very sweet, but I sense a different truth. He is an awesome guy with a big heart, so I just reassure him that he has nothing to worry about if I get down to my goal weight. I won't suddently become *poof* a bar slut and screw everyone like his ex's. I'm wanting to lose weight for myself, my health and well-being. Besides, I got blood testing done and I have high cholesterol (at age 21!!!!) so this has also helped convince him that I do need to lose some weight for my health.

    :-)
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
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    i don't care

    He's a liar.

    I think you're projecting your feelings. Maybe he doesn't care, or as, in my case, of course I care about my wife's weight. I want her healthy.

    It has no factory, however, in my commitment to her, our family or our relationship. They should add "through thick and thin" to the wedding vows.

    My wife put her weight on, having my three daughters. She is working at reducing, but if she never loses her weight, I will not love her less. I love her more for the sacrifice she has made to give me the greatest gifts I have ever been given.


    sO sweet and i love your way of thinking...very true! i like how you appreciate what she did.
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
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    I don't care, but I wish my wife would sort of make up her mind.
    One minute she's all, "I'm gross and I need to lose 100+ pounds"
    then five minutes later she's stuffing herself with Ice Cream.

    Appearance is very little to me, behavior is everything to me.
    If she'd want to go and do the things I want to do instead of shooting down every idea i have
    I'd be much happier.


    hahaha i feel your pain like i can relate to it as i do that sometimes and keep saying the same things your wife says,but to my family.I'm asking you to help her because it seems like she's lost she realllyy wants to look thinner to make herself happy and by her confidence boost she'll definitely make you happy because she would treat you better and wouldnt be grumpy or depressed. She basically needs help so why dnt you encourage her to workout she's just using food as a way to express her frustration because she cant lose weight since she's eaither too busy to stick to plans , or she just loves food and can't lose the weight so she ends up eating more. I know this is hard to understand but believe me she'll thank you and you'll feel amazing if you help her and make her feel better also remind her if she continues to act insecure you wont be attracted, this will scare her and cause her to act immediately

    sorry for the way you feel it sucks!!
  • loved11
    loved11 Posts: 92 Member
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    My husband would care if he noticed, however I got up to 200 lbs and when he looked at my b4 pics after I lost weight he was like "WTH? When were u that big!? Don't ever get that big again please" lol He wouldn't know if i did anyway :P


    lol!!!! oh..my..god.. that is just hilarious!!!! laughing so hard, crying.....

    men they just crack me up!!!
  • loved11
    loved11 Posts: 92 Member
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    aawww good to see so many husbands that are so loving

    mine is too, been married 18 years, i have had 10 kids, my weight has been all over the place in that time. I was 118 when we met and a hard body, he was 220 of beer. He has always been all over me from day one. Actually, more now that we are in our 40"s. I am 125 now he is so happy for me. He gets very upset when i am hard on myself and frustrated that i dont see how beautifull and sexy i am. He says the most important thing is that I am happy and healthy.

    I am so lucky to have such a great man and husband in my life.
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
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    My husband would care if he noticed, however I got up to 200 lbs and when he looked at my b4 pics after I lost weight he was like "WTH? When were u that big!? Don't ever get that big again please" lol He wouldn't know if i did anyway :P


    lol!!!! oh..my..god.. that is just hilarious!!!! laughing so hard, crying.....

    men they just crack me up!!!


    HAHAHA!!! YOU cracked me up you're so rightt this iss hilarious HAHAHA omg!!!!^^ good one!
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
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    aawww good to see so many husbands that are so loving

    mine is too, been married 18 years, i have had 10 kids, my weight has been all over the place in that time. I was 118 when we met and a hard body, he was 220 of beer. He has always been all over me from day one. Actually, more now that we are in our 40"s. I am 125 now he is so happy for me. He gets very upset when i am hard on myself and frustrated that i dont see how beautifull and sexy i am. He says the most important thing is that I am happy and healthy.

    I am so lucky to have such a great man and husband in my life.

    OH MY GOSH ARE YOUU KIDDING?!!!!!!!!!10 KIDS????????? AND 125 ????? wowww you are an inspiration even if you just had 4 kids. ... wow.
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
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    hahah l Absolutely love the replies here! if i can reply to each one individually i would. Thanks a lot everyone sounds like you all have great husbands and i'm happy for you ...P.s :loved the cute details :)

    i think someone asked how my husband is ? i mentioned earlier im not married i think on page 3 ^^ :)
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
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    My wife has gone through all aspects skinny/larger since we've been together (10+ years now). I've never lost any desire for her (and show it in several ways, including trying to molest her pretty much daily!) She was about a 14-16 when we met, got up to a size 22 +, and then decided to have gastric bypass about 5 years ago. She expected to get down to a 10-12 at most, but went down to a 2-4. At one point she was a little too unhealthy (5'8" and hovering at 100 lbs), but she gained that back, and it 135 lbs now.

    Throughout all parts of it the only time I commented when at the extremes (we parked a little further in the parking lot once and by the time we got to the movie theater, she was breathing heavy and sweating, and then when she got too skinny), and both of those were health concerns. I still would get her flowers occasionally (god bless Sam's Club!), of course ravage her (even when she was larger).

    I was/am less concerned with how she looked, than how she felt. She made the decision to do the surgery (and I supported her, but wasn't super excited about it. Stuff like that freaks me out).

    I think men care less about how their wives look (to some level), than how much they show us they care! Some men it's cooking, some it's sex (probably alot, myself included), etc. I don't hear many guys say they'll cheat or leave their spouses because they gained some weight or are bigger, but take away the things we like, especially if it's something that attracted us to you in the first place...... :)


    thanks a lot!!!! very thorough and you're "the" husband so it would help more to hear it from you. I love the way you think very considerate :) tc and i hope she completely heals and feels better.
  • gurlondrums
    gurlondrums Posts: 187
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    I had this whole medium-sized response and my internet connection went out for a second right when I went to post it and I lost everything. :grumble:

    But about earlier, @someonelikemyself, I didn't feel like you wasted my time. And I understand what you mean about not worrying about food. It was like that in the beginning, but then with children, work, bills, etc., we can't just focus on each other and being in love. Not a bad thing though. Just means you have to make different choices.

    Still mad though. I had this whole thing typed out and thought I sounded so smart (ha) and lost it. Argh. :grumble:
  • poesch77
    poesch77 Posts: 1,005 Member
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    Mine just told me today not to get too skinny that my boobs disappear!

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