*sigh*Partner losing weight?They are planning to leave

Lizzy_Sunflower

People who lose weight while they're in an apparently steady relationship are secretly preparing to dump their other halves, says a new relationships study.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/8873954/Beware-If-you-partner-is-losing-weight-they-are-probably-planning-to-leave.html

My husband sent me this article link this morning, saying he hopes this isn't us.

I thought he knew better than that!

Discuss.

Sh1tsRainbows

I think its insecurity on the partners part...

merzback

i wouldn't believe this unless you're relationship has real problems, and if it does, then losing weight is the smallest problem you have between the 2 of you!

infamousmk

I'm not going to read the article. A study can be skewed to prove any point. My relationship is stable and I'm getting fit so that I can spend many more years with my boyfriend, not leave him.

Becoming_A_Butterfly

I read the article, and I don't like the assumption that someone in a relationship is supposed to just give up on what they look like, and showing any interest in their fitness or health is a sign they are getting ready to leave! What a proposterous assumption. I am in a steady relationship, and the #1 reason I want to lose this weight is to be healthy and have a longer life with him...not so I can go find a new partner!

♥_Ellybean_♥

this is funny, I mean really is there any other junk they would like to feed into people's minds!

Fit_Mama84

I agree with those who say studies can be skewed to say anything. I for one am doing this for my husband, not to leave him. I want to spend a long happy life with him and give him the best of myself that I can.

SaishaLea

Although there may be heartless conceited people like that, I am sure that is not the majority.

JennLifts

I can understand what they're saying, and the stuff behind it, but I believe that some people just like to get into shape. Doesn't mean they're trying to get a new SO.

Lizzy_Sunflower

I read the article, and I don't like the assumption that someone in a relationship is supposed to just give up on what they look like, and showing any interest in their fitness or health is a sign they are getting ready to leave! What a proposterous assumption. I am in a steady relationship, and the #1 reason I want to lose this weight is to be healthy and have a longer life with him...not so I can go find a new partner!

I totally agree with this. Being able to do More things with said partner is a great advantage to getting fit. Hiking, Biking, running...all things we can do together as a couple

I got sick of being fat. I didn't get sick of being married.

Phoenix24601

I'm not going to read the article. A study can be skewed to prove any point. My relationship is stable and I'm getting fit so that I can spend many more years with my boyfriend, not leave him.

^ this

i_love_vinegar

I agree with those who say studies can be skewed to say anything. I for one am doing this for my husband, not to leave him. I want to spend a long happy life with him and give him the best of myself that I can.

Exactly! Also, that is beautifully put to the girl who wrote this >.<

HeidiMightyRawr

I read this the other day, I don't like the fact that suddenly your expected to stop making an effort, and if you do it must be for someone else

Whatever happened to wanting to look good for yourself, your partner and being healthy so you can live a longer life, teaching your kids a good example etc etc. There's much more reasons that just wanting to impress some new man/woman.

chnkydnknmomma

I've heard this, too...very recently in fact. I think it's nonsense, my weight loss/fitness goals are all about me and the way I look and feel.

Lizzy_Sunflower

this is funny, I mean really is there any other junk they would like to feed into people's minds!

I think it is a horrible thing to feed peoples mind.

I NEED my husbands support to reach my goals. I don't need him worried about me leaving him if I get too fit.

ahadj

hahahah. this is great. sending to my boyfriend.

macpatti

While I agree that this isn't the motivation for all people, I've personally seen it happen often.

jennajava

Bullsh*t. I'm losing baby weight. I'm not leaving the best man in the world.

hatchhome

The honest truth is many people gain weight when they are unhappy so naturally when they start to shed those pounds they look to the reasons why and maybe they start eliminating them. I don't think people in a good relationship look elsewhere just because they lose weight. I also hate the study where people that drink diet soft drinks are more likely to gain weight. I don't think thats a fair study because people who drink diet are often dealing with weight issues, same thing in this study in my opinion.

MinnesotaManimal

Bull *kitten*. THis is my wifes biggest fear, is that im getting "all in shape" and am going to leave because she is not making the progress that I have. She is litteraly terrified of my weightloss, that I will leave her now. no matter what I tell her she is still insecure about it. I love her and Im losing weight so I can stay around to be with her till we are old and in rocking chairs.

135Lillee

I don't agree at all. I want to get fit for several reasons, being an older mom with young children makes me want to be healthier to keep up with them, family history of members being overweight and having health issues that go along with that, and also for my husband. He has never complained about my wieght, but I know he misses the old thinner, more active me. Getting fit is not just for me, but for him too, and my family.

InstantSunshine

And the Torygraph still calls itself a broadsheet. This is the worst kind of red-top sensationalism - I'd have expected it from the Daily Heil, frankly.

Call Ben Goldacre immediately... www.badscience.net

:noway:

h82bfat

I've not read the study, but it seems to be reaching. Loosing weight could be a covert plan to make one spouse more marketable but it could also be because they love their family and wish to live a long and healthy life with them. The same goes for saving money or nearly any positive act. I don't thing weight loss is a sign one partner wants to bail.

InstantSunshine

hahahah. this is great. sending to my boyfriend.

I like you! Hahahah

Scott613

When you get married you're supposed to get out of shape! Have you ever seen a retired pro athlete? They blow up and get huge. Same thing goes for when you're married. You have retired from the dating game no reason to be in game day condition anymore because you can't play in the game.

HMonsterX

For me it's partly true.

I really don't know how long i can keep going with how things are, so if/when i do leave, I want to be a more "eligible bachelor"

But my case is rather unique, seems I'm in the minority here.

Hellbent_Heidi

Sadly, I have seen this happen with people I know more than once - where one person lost weight and the other became insecure and jealous, or in the case of the women..they started getting a lot of attention from other guys, and decided the grass was greener outside of marriage.

I agree with most people though, that isn't not the majority! I've lost for myself, but also for my husband, who is loving how I look now. I certainly don't need attention from other guys to know what I'm doing is working....

Lizzy_Sunflower

The honest truth is many people gain weight when they are unhappy so naturally when they start to shed those pounds they look to the reasons why and maybe they start eliminating them. I don't think people in a good relationship look elsewhere just because they lose weight. I also hate the study where people that drink diet soft drinks are more likely to gain weight. I don't think thats a fair study because people who drink diet are often dealing with weight issues, same thing in this study in my opinion.

Great point

Grimmerick

That sucks. I feel like since my fiance loved me heavier, that he deserves me even more when I am thinner. It was a test, thats my excuse for being fat haha finding that one guy that loved me anyway then getting hot for him. Lol thats my excuse anyway

Lizzy_Sunflower

Bull *kitten*. THis is my wifes biggest fear, is that im getting "all in shape" and am going to leave because she is not making the progress that I have. She is litteraly terrified of my weightloss, that I will leave her now. no matter what I tell her she is still insecure about it. I love her and Im losing weight so I can stay around to be with her till we are old and in rocking chairs.

and this is Exactly the kind of person who DOESN'T need to read this article.

It is hard enough to lose weight without adding jealousy to the mix. This study just validates her fears.

IamBrande

When I was at my heaviest weight, my EX-husband, treated me like GARBAGE, after me working my *kitten* off for over 5 yrs, i met my goal weight... in 2009!

During my journey of losing the weight... he grew insecure, he grew "scared" he become very very clingy, not to mention EXTREMELY JEALOUS of anyone and everyone, to the point that days of going out anywhere..stopped! no more trips to the beach, to more dinners/dancing..........just always at home, where there was no one he felt he had to 'compete" with...when we woudl go out to a festival or something, he would grope on me, and make it known to anyone and everything, that i was HIS GIRL! (Vomit) ! He changed, more than I did!!

It definitely had a negative effect on my then Marriage, he began feeling inadequate as a husband, he felt "not good enough" and hsi self esteem was plummeting to the ground...so in turn, he began a slew of cheating frenzies, one affair after the other to fill his void with himself.

He felt that I was "going to leave him" because "I" was losing weight and was no longer 240+ lbs! LIttle did he realize, was that I loved him more than anything, I loved our family life!
But because I grew as a person, I loved myself, I was self confident (not cocky), I was more outgoing, more energic, and over all HAPPIER.........

My Marriage of 13yrs, ended in Divorce. A tragic end to my long journey!!

*That depression, let me to gain 33lbs... so my goal weight that i worked to so hard to reach (135lbs) is no more.. im back up to 170's...........however, I WILL lose it all again, and IF I lose my current boyfriend/fiance because of it...then so be it..... I deserve to feel happy, and love myself again!!!!!!*