My Life Is Full Of Drama

sassiebritches

Ok, my 2 cents....I have read everyone's response to this. I am 35 and have never been married, not because I couldn't find someone then, but because "I wasn't ready". I was ready 4 years ago and couldn't find a good man to save my life.....found alot of 1 night stands at the bar with my girlfriends who were also looking for Mr. Right....it took a long time to find my fiancee, and I am glad that I did.

Partying and flirting is over rated and in the end leads to lonliness. Alot of people marry for the party....the white dress the fairytale and never really think about what it means. My fiancee works 18 hours a day at 2 jobs.......he leaves on some days at 5:45 am, gets home at 7pm in time to change eat and leave for his 2nd job at 8:30pm.......he doesn't get home until 3am.........back up at 5:45 to do it again. I live far from family and friends and have no friends in my town...I stay home alone all day......the 1 day my fiancee has off he is asleep until 3pm....and up long enough to visit for a couple hours and eat......I WOULDN'T TRADE HIM FOR THE WORLD. He is the hardest working man I have ever seen, he is my king....and I respect him more then I think he will ever know......now that being said.....I miss the attention, I think sex is damn near non existant most months and the money still never stretches enough......I have thought about leaving.......about how my life would be somewhere else......and always come back to this.....My fiancee is a hard working man, he treats me with the utmost respect and love, he communicates effectively and though he is not here with me, he lets me know that he understands what I am needing from him, reminds me why he cannot be here and lastly assures me that these long hours will pay off later. I love him....every inch of his dusty southern butt! I couldn't see 1 day for the rest of my life without him in it.

You're a lucky woman, go to a club 1 night and watch the women...shoot you work at one you should know. Majority of the women there are looking for what you have and most of the men are looking for sex......

Talk to your husband, afterall he is your bestfriend.....hear what he is telling you when he tells you why he cannot be there...really think.......he is working so hard so that he can provide for you and the kids....

I hope that this works out for you honey.

P.S Nothin wrong with denim minis and cowboy boots.....I happen to have quite a few of those combinations....I think moreover the overall reason you are wearing them........like hooters.......

MissGorgeous

its not so much parties
house drunk parties are boring
its clubbing and dancing and going out with my girs and having fun
i dont get carded anywhere i go
most clubs or bars in san diego
want my girlfriends (over 21) and i in VIP
so they let us in
other places i say my first and last name
they know my husband and let me right in

songbyrdsweet

Well, why did you marry your husband? Because the thought of not having to work and his status seemed glamorous? Or because you wanted to build a strong marriage to lean on during the hardest of times?

kerrilucko

its not so much parties
house drunk parties are boring
its clubbing and dancing and going out with my girs and having fun
i dont get carded anywhere i go
most clubs or bars in san diego
want my girlfriends (over 21) and i in VIP
so they let us in
other places i say my first and last name
they know my husband and let me right in

Can I have the names of those clubs? I'd like to call and have them reported for permitting an underage adult to partake in activities reserved for the 21+ crowd. Seriously, that is just sad to me. Go home and be with your husband and your children.

MissGorgeous

not at all i was 17 and in love and wanted to get married and have a family and be with my husband.

songbyrdsweet

not at all i was 17 and in love and wanted to get married and have a family and be with my husband.

To me, this is the reality of a marriage...hard work, dull times, hard times...but there are good times, unconditional love from your kids, a supportive husband. There are plenty of women who want all of that and don't have any of it. There's nothing wrong with adult time, but there is something wrong with wanting attention from other men or flaunting your body for others, in my opinion.

MyaPapaya75

Just a quick quesrion...How did you meet your husband?

Livi_Loves_Pink

I really wanted to hold my tongue on this, but it's bugging me too much. Please don't read any maliciousness into what I'm about to post, because that's not how it's intended. I'm just very annoyed. I'm 19 and married myself, and have been married for a little over a year an a half.

You married this man. You commited your life to him. So you want to go clubbing and flirt with guys? Oh well, tough. You made a choice. I can't stand to see people who get married on a whim because 'I was in love'. Marriage isn't about the sweet heart throb feeling. Marriage is about selflessness, sacrifice, and compromise. Your spouse's needs and feelings should be just as, if not more, important then your own. Before my husband and I got married a relative told us a good marriage isn't 50% 50% it's 100% 100%, and to me it doesn't even sound like you're doing 50%.

MissGorgeous

Just a quick quesrion...How did you meet your husband?

our moms are best friends
hes one of 6 kids
i went to school with two of his younest siblings
our familes have been close since his younger siblings and i were like kindergarden!
we lived six doors down from each other untill he moved out of his moms and bought his own house
so basically friends of the family

Wolfena

I am hearing that your husband isn't paying enough attention to you. He's got a business to run (now 2) and 3 kids and a wife to support. I imagine he's pretty stressed too (but in a different way) & your demanding time he feels he does not have is probably not helping.

I imagine he wants more time with you too - but doesn't quite know how to get it without screwing up his business and endangering the possibility of being able to support his family. That might sound extreme, but that's probably how he feels.

You guys need to talk and compromise (I know, I said that already!) Maybe that date night idea once a week or twice a month or whatever you can work into his schedule is a good idea.... that way he CAN'T put you off because you're on the calendar

& sorry for the assumption that the kids were his and not yours :embarassed:

wannaBme

Be careful what you wish for ...
the grass is NOT greener on the other side of the fence.

work together, play together, keep your family together

MissGorgeous

i spend alot of time with my kids
im not out partying every night of the week

i dont see the problem
if my kids go visit my MIL and hubbys working?
house is clean...bills paid..laundry done? why sit home???

but ive already txted my husand and said
"we need to talk when you get home tonight"
his response was
"i know...im working alot im sorry sweetie...ill wake you up when i get home though"

MyaPapaya75

i spend alot of time with my kids
im not out partying every night of the week

i dont see the problem
if my kids go visit my MIL and hubbys working?
house is clean...bills paid..laundry done? why sit home???

but ive already txted my husand and said
"we need to talk when you get home tonight"
his response was
"i know...im working alot im sorry sweetie...ill wake you up when i get home though"

Gawd I feel bad for this man! But in a sense he got exactly what he asked for. He in no way should be apologizing for working lol when you and I quote say you love to shop and your profile is very "me" oriented. Blah sorry but this whole post was exhausting...I do wish you luck and happiness....

songbyrdsweet

I don't see a problem with going out...going illegally into a club is probably a bad idea considering the possible consequences...but we're all allowed to have free time. Just don't take your husband for granted. It sounds like he's working really hard. If you want attention, it should just be from him. No one else's attention should be able to replace that.

Livi_Loves_Pink

I don't see anything wrong with going out and having fun either, but you should try to find something that you both feel okay about.

MissGorgeous

i really want my family
i miss when we used to spend alot of time together
i think i just want him home more
and i will be very happy
i didnt start wanting to go out untill he was gone all the time
so im gunna talk to him and get things figured out

songbyrdsweet

i really want my family
i miss when we used to spend alot of time together
i think i just want him home more
and i will be very happy
i didnt start wanting to go out untill he was gone all the time
so im gunna talk to him and get things figured out

Good idea.
It's really important to be okay with being by yourself sometimes. Or even a lot of the time. I spend a lot of time alone...commuting, eating, studying. I have a couple friends in a couple classes, and my co-workers, and my boyfriend. In the past I'd feel lonely. But now I entertain myself--I workout, read, clean, learn something. I don't have the time or money to go out. I'm okay hanging out with myself. I'm cool.:glasses:

JasiBella

I think you and your hubby should sit down, talk things out. I can tell the communication is not there. What my cousin does with her hubby is they alternate a day during the weekend to go out with their own friends.. let's say she choose Saturday to go out with her friends then next weekend is her hubby's turn.

hmo4

All I can say about your on and off situation is communicate. My wife and I didn't and she ended up finding someone else and walking out on myself and our kids.

i did that but came back home!

Left the kids? A mother shouldn't do that-seriously-it would totally screw them up. I had a boyfriend who's Mom left him and his brother at a young age. He became a women hater and abusive. Needless to say I got out and learned lots! Your kids are #1. If you want out, you take them with you. All kids need their Mommy!

kerrilucko

All I can say about your on and off situation is communicate. My wife and I didn't and she ended up finding someone else and walking out on myself and our kids.

i did that but came back home!

Left the kids? A mother shouldn't do that-seriously-it would totally screw them up. I had a boyfriend who's Mom left him and his brother at a young age. He became a women hater and abusive. Needless to say I got out and learned lots! Your kids are #1. If you want out, you take them with you. All kids need their Mommy!

In some cases I would agree with you, but in many instances a single father can provide as good or even a better upbringing for his children. I think you'd have to look at it case by case. Not that any child deserves to be abandoned by EITHER parent.

loreeb18

I read one of your posts before about spending thousands of dollars on clothes. I'm not against shopping, especially buying new clothes after losing weight. But you get annoyed that he has to work so hard and long and never has time for you. Quit spending all that money on clothes for yourself. Stay home with your kids, appreciate that this man is working so hard to provide for his family. Then maybe he won't have to work so hard and he'll HAVE time to spend with you. Then you guys can go out together and have fun. Then you will be able to spend time with him and still go out but you won't feel you have to date other men to be able to go out and get attention.

MissGorgeous

All I can say about your on and off situation is communicate. My wife and I didn't and she ended up finding someone else and walking out on myself and our kids.

i did that but came back home!

Left the kids? A mother shouldn't do that-seriously-it would totally screw them up. I had a boyfriend who's Mom left him and his brother at a young age. He became a women hater and abusive. Needless to say I got out and learned lots! Your kids are #1. If you want out, you take them with you. All kids need their Mommy!

nooooo i didnt leave my kiddos

keiko

I think your quote under your ticker says it all. So thanks for the entertaining evening.

hmo4

I've now skimmed through the other posts. Shame on all of you for not supporting a young Mom with 3 tiny kids and no stimualtion at home but diapers and Dora the Explorer. And him? Hello! You married a baby -cradle robber, knocked her up and leave her day in and day out with the kids. SHE WANTS ATTENTION-hense the short skirts and flirting. Drinking alcohol will potentially cause huge damage. But, dancing and getting out with your friends is great. They can't even begin to relate to your life, no one can-unless you've lived it. That is my life in a nutshell, although mine wasn't at a Restaurant day in and day out, mine was out of town for months at a time. He'd phone home and talk about T-Bar ceilings. Like I cared, I was lonely, bored and needed him to at least give me a break. :explode: So, BG, as someone who is also social, type A personality, who also loves to go out and dancewith the girls,adores her kids more than anything, will listen anytime and give you suggestions, after all, I'm an old broad now who has lived and learned a ton. My oldest is 19 and building a future, and I've already prewarned him that if he impregnates someone, I will be taking the kid to help so they both can finish their career goals, and build their lives before marriage/divorce comes into play and the kid is bounced all over the place. :flowerforyou: Hang in there, and find a friend to support you.:smooched:

hmo4

Man, some people are judgemental and mean.

songbyrdsweet

I've now skimmed through the other posts. Shame on all of you for not supporting a young Mom with 3 tiny kids and no stimualtion at home but diapers and Dora the Explorer. And him? Hello! You married a baby -cradle robber, knocked her up and leave her day in and day out with the kids. SHE WANTS ATTENTION-hense the short skirts and flirting. Drinking alcohol will potentially cause huge damage. But, dancing and getting out with your friends is great. They can't even begin to relate to your life, no one can-unless you've lived it. That is my life in a nutshell, although mine wasn't at a Restaurant day in and day out, mine was out of town for months at a time. He'd phone home and talk about T-Bar ceilings. Like I cared, I was lonely, bored and needed him to at least give me a break. :explode: So, BG, as someone who is also social, type A personality, who also loves to go out and dancewith the girls,adores her kids more than anything, will listen anytime and give you suggestions, after all, I'm an old broad now who has lived and learned a ton. My oldest is 19 and building a future, and I've already prewarned him that if he impregnates someone, I will be taking the kid to help so they both can finish their career goals, and build their lives before marriage/divorce comes into play and the kid is bounced all over the place. :flowerforyou: Hang in there, and find a friend to support you.:smooched:

I guess I see it a little differently.
I see someone who is spending his money and being somewhat manipulative to garner attention. No, a 30 year old man shouldn't try to marry a 17 year old girl. But the 17 year old girl wasn't forced either, and from the sounds of it, that's what she signed up for.
It sounds like a bad situation all around and I don't think anyone was wrong in thinking she needs to reign that behavior in.

I also think that since we all come from different backgrounds and have different families, we'll all judge this differently. Not all of us would have a mom as supportive as you. Some of us would just have to live with it and that would be that.

JasiBella

If she didn't want people judging her she should not have posted this.

hmo4

Sorry, I thought this site was for support, motivation, encouragement. I'm not suggesting she leave him or cheat, she's got to open up and let him know how she's feeling. But typical, as I've heard from others and my own experience, "he changes for a short time and then goes back to how things were". Sounds to me like she has tried to get his attention, and he's more into the Restaurant. And he can go out snowboarding on his day off? Nice. Maybe he can do something with her before it is too late. So, I have no pit for him. If things don't work out, he's definitely shown where his priorities are. Resentment, resentment, resentment.

MissResa

i am sorry for the kids more than the adults, after reading all of the posts so far. Marriage is something that people treat like a new car... They just want to trade it in after the newness wears off. As a military wife who has been through multiple deployments, and always having her husband work 14+ hour days, with 2 kids, and all extended family out of state, I definitely know what it's like to need some "adult interaction" and a break from the kids. That being said... If you have a man who is willing to work from 4-3, and is trying to support their family in any means possible, and have 3 beautiful children, I don't understand how you could think about partying and flirting instead of being a good role model for those kids. Being a mom isn't something that you can quit-and your kids are depending on you. If you are unhappy with your marriage, then do what you think is best to either fix it or get out of it. But don't go putting yourself in a position that will make you more susceptible to having an affair-because if you do make it easier to pick up another person, you're more likely to cheat. And cheating on your husband will do more than hurt you and him- it will hurt your children, because they are much more aware of things than people give them credit for.

songbyrdsweet

Sorry, I thought this site was for support, motivation, encouragement. I'm not suggesting she leave him or cheat, she's got to open up and let him know how she's feeling. But typical, as I've heard from others and my own experience, "he changes for a short time and then goes back to how things were". Sounds to me like she has tried to get his attention, and he's more into the Restaurant. And he can go out snowboarding on his day off? Nice. Maybe he can do something with her before it is too late. So, I have no pit for him. If things don't work out, he's definitely shown where his priorities are. Resentment, resentment, resentment.

It sounds like he has to be into the restaurant to make enough money to support her so she doesn't have to work and can spend thousands on clothing. She already left to date someone else and came back...they did the marriage counseling and apparently it was lame...it doesn't sound like either party is fulfilling their responsibilities. Neither is showing the other any respect.