Friends on MFP with poor food diaries?

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  • veganbaum
    veganbaum Posts: 1,865 Member
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    Well we definately do agree on some points.

    But the one obvious point we don't agree on is...while you wouldn't be hurt if someone commented, others may be. You really just never know. Obviously if it's a member you talk to every single day and have a close relationship and feel they would be open to your comments, comment away! But a friend you say hi to here and there...you have to be prepared for them to be offended. Both reactions are just human nature, I suppose. :)

    Very true, but that's why there is the option for a private diary. If you have a diary open to friends, seems like you can't be too surprised if they comment on it. If they tend to be more direct than others might be, there's always the option to delete them or just close your diary.
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    And this is why I keep my diary private. :noway:

    Amen to that! I was sticking to 1200 calories and NOT eating any of them back...and not losing an ounce. I've started logging EVERYTHING that I eat, and eating back my exercise calories to within 100-200 at the end of the day, and I've finally seen the numbers on the scale moving in the right direction.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    It may be snarky to notice, but neither the OP nor the "get over it! / what are you hiding?" lady have public diaries.
  • Yakisoba
    Yakisoba Posts: 719 Member
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    It may be snarky to notice, but neither the OP nor the "get over it! / what are you hiding?" lady have public diaries.

    The second one did have a public diary, but closed it when people commented on how she eats nothing but Cheerios for every meal and had a maximum of 1,000 calories set for one day.
  • Rewinds
    Rewinds Posts: 60
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    It may be snarky to notice, but neither the OP nor the "get over it! / what are you hiding?" lady have public diaries.

    My diary is private to the public, I don't know them
    My diary is open to friends, I trust their responses and have goals to set with them. I get to know them. Everyones MFP experience is different, and hey, MAYBE you friend people for different reasons.

    I think people here just took it way out of proportion. I wanted to HELP this person, not by monitoring what they eat. I can understand a cheat day here and there but this is constant bad food.

    There are a couple of reason I wanted to approach them (which I did regardless of the responses on this thread because honestly some people made this out to be nip-picking on a few items). There were reasons that I did.

    1 - Benefits of a Balanced Diet
    Eating unhealthy food for breakfast such as high carbs and high fat meals will leave you hungry faster than having high protein meals. All i suggested was instead of cookies were to boil, or pan fry (no oil) some eggs and lean bacon or some packet ham instead of cookies + cake for breakfast. They aren't lifestyle choices and eating those types of food will just leave you more hungry and make it harder to stay within calorie intake because hey...if you are more hungry you're going to want more calories in a day.

    2- Health problems from eating fatty foods.
    Higher blood pressure, higher cholesterol, higher blood sugar levels, arterial inflammation. All lead to problems such as kidney, liver and heart problems and can make exercise 10x harder (clogged + inflamed arteries make pumping blood harder)

    3- I'm not talking about some random stranger I've developed a relationship with this person. I think people assumed that I had no idea about this person, I know about her kids, about her family and her daily life and struggles and in return she knows mine >_>

    This was an honest question in regards to your health but everyone just jumped to the conclusion that I was snooping. I felt that the MFP community in general were just looking at it in the wrong way...but I don't know if I'll be coming here for advice anymore :P
  • ChrissyLu723
    ChrissyLu723 Posts: 154 Member
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    And this is why I keep my diary private. :noway:

    me too! I don't always eat foods that some people would think is right, BUT it works for me and I keep within my calories. I would never, ever confront someone on the foods the choose to eat, I feel it is what they want, and they are logging it.
  • cofakid
    cofakid Posts: 213 Member
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    I think that its one of those dicey situations where a lot of ppl r likely to get offended and a few might find it useful, but u r more likel to offend them so its best not to.

    alot have ppl have already commented with my mindset and i think it can be very disouraging to be told your not doing things right.

    If ppl really want to know where and how they can make healthier choices they will ask, and if they ask then go for it.

    personally i only comment on diarys when someone completes there day and i only say positive things. eg if they have maccas and go under i congraulate them for staying under even with maccas, and if they have a really great day i will say so.

    If someone asks me or post a forum topic i might make suggestions but otherwise its there diary and everyone is at different stages with different mindsets and you just have to let them be. They might be eating something THINKING its healthy and not realising, but the off chance of that is not worth offending someone and possibly derailing there efforts.

    even when i do ask for advice the last thing i need is someone saying "woah you should not have had that chocolate" i know that already...

    thats my opinion anyway
  • doornumber03
    doornumber03 Posts: 221 Member
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    I think that its one of those dicey situations where a lot of ppl r likely to get offended and a few might find it useful, but u r more likel to offend them so its best not to.

    alot have ppl have already commented with my mindset and i think it can be very disouraging to be told your not doing things right.

    If ppl really want to know where and how they can make healthier choices they will ask, and if they ask then go for it.

    personally i only comment on diarys when someone completes there day and i only say positive things. eg if they have maccas and go under i congraulate them for staying under even with maccas, and if they have a really great day i will say so.

    If someone asks me or post a forum topic i might make suggestions but otherwise its there diary and everyone is at different stages with different mindsets and you just have to let them be. They might be eating something THINKING its healthy and not realising, but the off chance of that is not worth offending someone and possibly derailing there efforts.

    even when i do ask for advice the last thing i need is someone saying "woah you should not have had that chocolate" i know that already...

    thats my opinion anyway

    very well put!
  • LuciaLongIsland
    LuciaLongIsland Posts: 815 Member
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    It may be snarky to notice, but neither the OP nor the "get over it! / what are you hiding?" lady have public diaries.

    The second one did have a public diary, but closed it when people commented on how she eats nothing but Cheerios for every meal and had a maximum of 1,000 calories set for one day.
  • LuciaLongIsland
    LuciaLongIsland Posts: 815 Member
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    I am flattered that you are so interested in my diary. Yes, I did eat cheerios, and I explained this to my friends. If you look at my diary you will see that it went on for a few weeks and I AM now trying to stop it because it is unhealthy.

    As far as the 100 calories, I am following MY Doctors order which none of you are.

    I am NOT trolling just participating. I closed my diary because NO ONe was suggesting anything positive. I felt that a lot of people were making of me. However my responses have increased my friends. Many people agreed and friended me.

    My intent was not to upset anyone here just offer my opinion, and since I AM NEW AND NOT COMPUTER SAVVY I AM NOT ABLE TO DO THE QUOTE. I was not aware that there were rules. So Sorry.
  • LuciaLongIsland
    LuciaLongIsland Posts: 815 Member
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    The second one did have a public diary, but closed it when people commented on how she eats nothing but Cheerios for every meal and had a maximum of 1,000 calories set for one day.
    [/quote]
  • wildcata77
    wildcata77 Posts: 660
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    honestly i think the point of making your food diary public is to get feedback from other users...Im not saying we are all doctors etc but constructive criticism is okay. I think if you are not okay with it dont make your diary public. IMHO, the whole point of being on MFP is for the group support and that includes criticism. AGain it depends on what is being said. Some people may have slept in at a Holiday Inn Express but that doesnt make them a doctor so giving medical advice on here is a big NO NO, but if its someone trying to offer help to make things easier why not!. Just my 2 pennies!


    While I agree with this, I also think that support goes much longer than criticism. My diary is public, and yes I feel shame sometimes when I ate a crappy breakfast and then post on the boards b/c I'm sure all of y'all are like *gasp* Hardee's??!!

    But I also prefer to be tactful, and so if I view a friend's diary I try to comment on whatever the positive was...maybe they went over but had a really healthy salad for lunch, so I'll comment on how delicious their salad looked. Or maybe they had a brownie that sent them over, but they drank plenty of water, so I'll comment on the water intake. I only comment constructively when someone asks for it, or makes a comment themself about what a ****ty day they had.
  • mistresseeyore
    mistresseeyore Posts: 717 Member
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    You shouldn't say any thing. Part of this is learning how to eat right. The person knows that it isn't good for them. They are on here for positive feedback. If they are losing and exercising, if they feel like having cookies for breakfast, so be it. We are not on here to be dieting dictators for people, there are enough of those in the real world when fat people get mean looks and stares. We are on here to be positive and supportive. A supportive word goes more to change what you are doing than a negative one. In time when they feel better about themselves they will cut out the bad stuff, right now cheer on the good stuff. If you criticize this friend, then you could get deleted out of their live...
  • Barneystinson
    Barneystinson Posts: 1,357 Member
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    I dare someone to comment on the ludicrous amount of bacon and eggs I eat on a weekly basis.
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
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    I dare someone to comment on the ludicrous amount of bacon and eggs I eat on a weekly basis.

    You eat a ludicrous amount of bacon and eggs on a weekly basis. :flowerforyou:
  • Lecypage
    Lecypage Posts: 22
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    When it's socially acceptable for me to tell my friends how sh*tty their grammar and spelling is, it's socially acceptable for them to tell me how bad my eating habits are.
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
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    Sometimes I drink nothing but vodka for breakfast

    tumblr_lup8biYFHT1qd9fro.gif

    I agree, calorie intake is just that, while they might not be getting all the nutrients they need/want they may be taking multivitamins *not ideal* and etc.

    Honestly if you told me that stuff about my diary I'd just de-friend you and be done with it. I don't need a second mom. I'm sure whoever the diary belongs to knows that hey chocolate cake or etc for breakfast is not the best food choice. They don't need someone being the clean food police. If they were going over their calories and wondering why they aren't losing you could probably say something. If they are under calories and losing then leave them alone.
  • hvpooly
    hvpooly Posts: 39
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    I just opened my diary to friends, mainly because I never knew it was private to begin with :) But if someone were to say something along the lines of "I noticed you have been eating alot of XXXX, perhaps YYYY would be a better choice because (Insert reasoning here)", I wouldn't care at all. I love to see what other people are eating and I welcome nutrition advice. I want to eat healthier, I want to be smarter about how I am using my calories.
  • Josie_lifting_cats
    Josie_lifting_cats Posts: 949 Member
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    I honestly am here to keep track of calories. Not to get help from others. I see other people "getting help from others" and there is a lot of crap advice out there that is unhealthy or just bad advice. I'm secure in what I'm doing, and that's all I need.
  • Josie_lifting_cats
    Josie_lifting_cats Posts: 949 Member
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    I did not smell, TYVM. I gave up smoking for personal reasons and became "FAT"...If I could smoke, I would/ Life is short. Everyone I know that smoked died at 90...so..perhaps the surgeon general should comment on oreos and other fattening foods like he does cigarettes...being overweight is bad for your health. No one goes up to a overweight person and says stop eating, or at the beach when they are in a bathing suit, says you are making me sick, you disgust me, but there is no problem telling a smoker they smell, or get out of their space. I guess smoking is worse then obesity and smokers do not have the same rights. Wow, I thought this was a free country.

    You know, I find this offensive. I grew up with parents that did (and still do) smoke. I spent EVERY DAY miserable with allergies, and you know what their response was when I would be sneezing non-stop in the car, begging them to put out the cigarette that was making me so miserable? "I have rights, and I can smoke if I want to." And yes, I'm an adult now, but I'm still bitter. Glad I can now live without it, but bitter that I had to be miserable all those years.

    Now my son can't go over to their house because even though they don't smoke around him, their house is so nasty that it sets off his allergies, which leads to an ear infection every time. And don't tell me it doesn't. Allergies = runny nose = plugged sinuses = fluid backup = fluid behind ear + bacteria that is ALWAYS in your ear = ear infection.

    So no, I don't believe smokers should have rights to make other people miserable.

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