Friends on MFP with poor food diaries?

Yakisoba

I am flattered that you are so interested in my diary. Yes, I did eat cheerios, and I explained this to my friends. If you look at my diary you will see that it went on for a few weeks and I AM now trying to stop it because it is unhealthy.

As far as the 100 calories, I am following MY Doctors order which none of you are.

I am NOT trolling just participating. I closed my diary because NO ONe was suggesting anything positive. I felt that a lot of people were making of me. However my responses have increased my friends. Many people agreed and friended me.

My intent was not to upset anyone here just offer my opinion, and since I AM NEW AND NOT COMPUTER SAVVY I AM NOT ABLE TO DO THE QUOTE. I was not aware that there were rules. So Sorry.

You just proved this thread. -bows-

Josie_lifting_cats

Maybe they have a baby that wakes them up at quarter to six in the morning like mine did, and they want to make the best of being awake two hours before the sun like I do, and they baked a ton of cookies yesterday like I did. And a chocolate cookie would be so good with their morning cup of coffee... Because maybe, just maybe, they are stemming off a foul mood so they don't create an e-bay account to try and sell the early bird baby to some poor SAP who thinks "see, babies are so cute and cuddly. Oh look! This one is on sale." It's illegal to sell babies. It's not illegal to have cookies for breakfast.
I'm having a chocolate cookie.

I'm in love with you. Can we be friends? Because I go through this same situation ALL. THE. TIME. Except for me its wine. And again, selling babies/kids is illegal. Drinking wine is not. And if I had 10 oz of white last night and someone says "Hey, that isn't healthy", I'm liable to punch them... which is also illegal.

brit49

Unless someone asked you to comment of their food diary, why would you? That seems rude to me. This topic seems rude to me.

This, Im just saying!!!

SarabellPlus3

I think this seems kind of like telling an overweight friend that they are overweight. Why do you feel a need to do it? Do you think they don't know they are overweight (or in this case, that they are not succeeding at healthy eating?)? Do you think they are truly ignorant that potato chips (or whatever) are nutritionally void, and they are in need of you educating them?

Probably not. Most likely they are just as smart as you, and they already know their diet isn't as healthy as it could be. But they're choosing to eat that way anyway. Your pointing it out is unlikely to do anything useful IMO.

castadiva

Everyone has to do this their own way, otherwise they are unlikely to be able to stick to it. I freely admit to eating chocolate and drinking gingerbread lattes. I also use full-fat dairy, because I believe it is better for my brain, and prefer sourdough bread. These are the choices I make, as are the decisions to take an extra twenty-minute or half-hour walk to make sure I remain under, or as close as possible to, my net goal. I admire people who have the willpower to eat 'clean' and 'paleo', but I know that's not for me. If someone asks for feedback, feel free to comment. If not, allow them to make their own choices without sharing your criticisms.

sheclimbsrocks

Aren't we not supposed to judge our friends?

If you say something to them, they might just stop being honest with their logging and continue to eat the junk anyway. Maybe they are really trying their hardest.

If they don't ask for your advice, then you shouldn't say a word about it.

Crystal817

I AM NEW AND NOT COMPUTER SAVVY I AM NOT ABLE TO DO THE QUOTE.

ALL YOU DO IS PRESS THE QUOTE BUTTON ON THE REPLY YOU WISH TO QUOTE.

kthxbai.

:flowerforyou:

CoraGregoryCPA

This is so so so true! Also, dr. Radio xm/sirius said that a recent study showed no difference in weight gain or loss among whole milk, 2% and skim. They had recommended drinking 2% (or even whole) over skim if you arent obese because this fat is ok for you.. drink up!

Everyone has to do this their own way, otherwise they are unlikely to be able to stick to it. I freely admit to eating chocolate and drinking gingerbread lattes. I also use full-fat dairy, because I believe it is better for my brain, and prefer sourdough bread. These are the choices I make, as are the decisions to take an extra twenty-minute or half-hour walk to make sure I remain under, or as close as possible to, my net goal. I admire people who have the willpower to eat 'clean' and 'paleo', but I know that's not for me. If someone asks for feedback, feel free to comment. If not, allow them to make their own choices without sharing your criticisms.

breyn2004

I would say you might mention it. I have one friend on MFP in particular, who makes poor choices frequently. (Mine is by absolutely no means perfect!) And I have on occasion made a friendly suggestion. I usually don't get a reply, but the point to MFP and friends is to offer support and guidance, right?! I just recently made my diary viewable by friends... if I'm ashamed about what's in it, then I'm cheating myself!

Improvised

Maybe they used to eat even more "junk food". Give 'em kudos for cutting back. Sure it might not be the healthiest choices but you can't change food habits and preferences overnight.

Yup! Totally agree with this.

Improvised

Everyone has to do this their own way, otherwise they are unlikely to be able to stick to it. I freely admit to eating chocolate and drinking gingerbread lattes. I also use full-fat dairy, because I believe it is better for my brain, and prefer sourdough bread. These are the choices I make, as are the decisions to take an extra twenty-minute or half-hour walk to make sure I remain under, or as close as possible to, my net goal. I admire people who have the willpower to eat 'clean' and 'paleo', but I know that's not for me. If someone asks for feedback, feel free to comment. If not, allow them to make their own choices without sharing your criticisms.

This too. Mmmm, sourdough bread sounds really good now.

breyn2004

I was lurking through on my MFP friends diaries. Some had very very very very poor food choices but stayed below the calorie intake.

Do you ever approach them about it and tell them that they aren't making the best choices for their body?

I know that you can loose weight eating poorly by staying below your calorie intake but I don't think eating cookies and chocolate for breakfast is right for their body nutritionally and in the long run for loosing weight (carbs+fat = no extra benefits vs a well rounded breakfast consisting of protein and fiber).

I'm not saying its bad to have cheats, I have a nice sorbet for dessert most nights or sometimes a biscuit here and there...but never 500 calories worth of 'junk food' for breakfast

That's NOT YOUR BUSINESS! Each person has Health Goals...YOU Do NOT get to determine those for anyone but YOU! Also, some people have to take things 1 Step at a Time...First, lowering calories to lose weight, THEN, maybe other things...

Get off of Your High Horse...Do YOU and let them Do them. You Do NOT have the Power to CHANGE anyone. RESPECT others right to make Their Choices; You may NOT like their Choices but if You believe that YOU have the Right to make YOUR Choices, give them the Same Benefit!

If someone's diary is "public" or "viewable by friends", they evidently want people to look at it. Everyone is here to help one another.

becka63

I wouldn't comment because other than what my friends choose to post on here, I know nothing about their lifestyles and food choices. There might be a valid reason for having cookies for breakfast that are unbeknownst to anyone other than the poster. They might be having three cookies, but last month they were having a packet of cookies...whatever.

I'll comment if someone has something that sounds nice, or conversely sounds unpleasant, but not from a nutritional or health point of view. Likewise, I comment on exercise achievements, but I wouldn't comment on someone if I looked at their diaries and noticed they HADN'T done any exercise.

rml_16

I was lurking through on my MFP friends diaries. Some had very very very very poor food choices but stayed below the calorie intake.

Do you ever approach them about it and tell them that they aren't making the best choices for their body?

I know that you can loose weight eating poorly by staying below your calorie intake but I don't think eating cookies and chocolate for breakfast is right for their body nutritionally and in the long run for loosing weight (carbs+fat = no extra benefits vs a well rounded breakfast consisting of protein and fiber).

I'm not saying its bad to have cheats, I have a nice sorbet for dessert most nights or sometimes a biscuit here and there...but never 500 calories worth of 'junk food' for breakfast

That's NOT YOUR BUSINESS! Each person has Health Goals...YOU Do NOT get to determine those for anyone but YOU! Also, some people have to take things 1 Step at a Time...First, lowering calories to lose weight, THEN, maybe other things...

Get off of Your High Horse...Do YOU and let them Do them. You Do NOT have the Power to CHANGE anyone. RESPECT others right to make Their Choices; You may NOT like their Choices but if You believe that YOU have the Right to make YOUR Choices, give them the Same Benefit!

If someone's diary is "public" or "viewable by friends", they evidently want people to look at it. Everyone is here to help one another.

Mine is public so I can more easily point people to it for ideas and stuff like that if asked. Not so that people can critique me without my asking for assistance.

Don't presume to know why someone's diary is public.

stylishgirl

I think there are a few basic contingencies.

1) what is the nature of your friendship, how close are you? If its a truly casual friendship (someone you would never directly email or call or visit) then NO. If its someone you're already friends with and then both choose to do mfp together, then maybe.

2) the way you mention it means EVERYTHING. maybe don't start the conversation with "wow, i've been keeping an eye on your diary and there's a lot of stuff on there you shouldn't be eating." OR "you're making really poor food choices." not the best approach. HOWEVER, if you start to message a few people with something like "I was hoping we might all share some recipes" or "what is everyone's favorite breakfast, I'd love some suggestions that fit these goals for me (enter x amount of protein, carbs, fiber, etc)". Then, its more on the basis of starting a real conversation about nutrition instead of lecturing.

A really good program I was reading about awhile ago said that to really change your habits you need to break it down to simplest building blocks. so start with watching calories, do that for a solid week or two until you feel you can really control it every day. Next add another step until you have those 2 down, then add another step, etc. etc. The program emphasized that it's not the order of the steps that matters, its getting them into your routine. so for one person step 5 getting exercise X amount per week might be really hard, but step 3 drinking enough water daily could be really easy, step 2 switching to whole grain might be the hardest thing so they do that last. If you backslide, go back to what you've already got down and work your way back up.

so, for me. step 1 is calorie restriction, step 2 water, step 3 fiber, step 4 getting enough fruits and veggies, etc. but there are some weeks where I'm so busy that I don't even journal, I simply try to do the best I can not to overeat too much and then start over after the busy period.

breyn2004

I was lurking through on my MFP friends diaries. Some had very very very very poor food choices but stayed below the calorie intake.

Do you ever approach them about it and tell them that they aren't making the best choices for their body?

I know that you can loose weight eating poorly by staying below your calorie intake but I don't think eating cookies and chocolate for breakfast is right for their body nutritionally and in the long run for loosing weight (carbs+fat = no extra benefits vs a well rounded breakfast consisting of protein and fiber).

I'm not saying its bad to have cheats, I have a nice sorbet for dessert most nights or sometimes a biscuit here and there...but never 500 calories worth of 'junk food' for breakfast

That's NOT YOUR BUSINESS! Each person has Health Goals...YOU Do NOT get to determine those for anyone but YOU! Also, some people have to take things 1 Step at a Time...First, lowering calories to lose weight, THEN, maybe other things...

Get off of Your High Horse...Do YOU and let them Do them. You Do NOT have the Power to CHANGE anyone. RESPECT others right to make Their Choices; You may NOT like their Choices but if You believe that YOU have the Right to make YOUR Choices, give them the Same Benefit!

If someone's diary is "public" or "viewable by friends", they evidently want people to look at it. Everyone is here to help one another.

Mine is public so I can more easily point people to it for ideas and stuff like that if asked. Not so that people can critique me without my asking for assistance.

Don't presume to know why someone's diary is public.

I'm not presuming anything. I just simply think that if they aren't private, then people have them open for friends to look at. I look at my friends' for food ideas and I hope that they look at mine for the same and to offer me some tips. Example: I noticed a friend of mine eating hot dogs a few days a week... i simply suggested that the fat free hot dogs had a better comparison and a lot less calories than the turkey dogs. Healthy suggestion. Simple.

I think everyone is being a little hard on on the originator of this thread. Sounds to me like they are simply trying to be a good friend.

chelekaz

Not unless they specifically say that they need help loosing weight... then go ahead. Otherwise I'd keep to watching your own diary. No reason to purposely make someone feel bad or lose a friendship.

Kslice39

Maybe they used to eat even more "junk food". Give 'em kudos for cutting back. Sure it might not be the healthiest choices but you can't change food habits and preferences overnight.

^^^agree

Articeluvsmemphis

well, I still eat pretty crappy some days I will go ahead and log it so i know what I'm doing wrong when I see I've gained or haven't lost anything. I don't think there's anything wrong with giving someone a private message about eating healthier, especially If they've added you or vice versa. If someone had a problem with it, then they could just un-friend you and that's deff not the end of the world

sugarbeans

I think for some people the process is a long one. Yes their food might be crappy and unhealthy but they are at least entering it in. Sometimes when you try to be nice and helpful, people get defensive and it makes the situation worse. I believe that you can say something when they start saying that they have hit a plateau or that they have been gaining weight. Or if they ask you what your doing to lose weight so quickly or productively this give you an opportunity to point out the healthy ways that have contributed to your weight loss.