Why can't men pick up after themselves.

WifeNMama

My rule is if its not in the hamper, it doesnt get washed. I have no idea if he wants to wear the jeans he wore the day before or which sweater just came out of the wash and which one he wore already.
I'm usually the one leaving the nail clippers around, and we both leave stuff all over the house. He helps out when he can, and we have chores that we are each in charge of. I gave him a drawer to dump his wallet, keys, sunglasses and miscellaneous stuff when he gets home. It's right by the door and out of sight. If I'm cleaning and find a bunch of his stuff, I put it in his drawer.
All of my miscellaneous stuff goes on top of my dresser.

fit4mom

This is definitely not a guy thing, but a person thing. My wife and I each have our spots where we put mail and various other things when we walk in the door. Her spot is constantly a mess and it drives me nuts. My spot rarely is a mess more than one night.

Is your wife my wife's sister?!

It's sad when we don't know who our wifes sister is.

_Timmeh_

You are engaged to a man who wears wife beaters. That should have been a neon sign right there :noway:

Hey hey hey now, nothing wrong with wearing wife beaters. Mine have built in spaghetti stains on em. :laugh:

Jeff92se

This is definitely not a guy thing, but a person thing. My wife and I each have our spots where we put mail and various other things when we walk in the door. Her spot is constantly a mess and it drives me nuts. My spot rarely is a mess more than one night.

Is your wife my wife's sister?!

It's sad when we don't know who our wifes sister is.

wife's

messyinthekitchen

But he's my mess maker and I love him:smooched:

Yup, if 'making a mess' is the man's worst issue.. you/ OP are very blessed and have great guys! :P

Mine is a mess leaver too.. its just a running joke now

I know I am blessed. But I am also very stressed and he is contributing to it.

PegasusDeb

At least he don't leave the drawers open just enough to get snagged on, or the cupboard door open just so that when you turned around expecting it to be closed & crack your head on it! :grumble:
This is why I enjoy living alone! lol
But seriously, I bet he's got some issues with things that you do...

You could always just leave things as he left them & after several days, when he wonders if you've gone on strike, just say, yeah, I have!

3GKnight

pick up all his crap and dump it on his desk...let him sort it out. Do it daily until he gets the hint.

what a wonderful idea!!

would you want to be married to someone who did this to you? It seems very parental, and not a very nice parent at that.

I'd never treat my husband this way, and he would never do it to me either.

Even after multiple conversations, my ex never got the hint that not every flat surface is storage space. There's a certain point where talking to someone doesn't do the job, so drastic measures are needed. (No, I didn't leave her because of that.)

I would recommend 'making things disappear'. Your house suddenly ran out of Kleenex or he starts running out of clothes. Hide them until he asks, then tell him where you hid the first batch and that you'll keep doing it until he changes his ways but will not tell him where you hid them next time.

MFPAddict

My advice to any hot woman who has a man causing him stress.

Relieve the stress.

messyinthekitchen

This couple I'm friends with, they have a big Rubbermaid tub in their guest bedroom. I asked them what's up with that, and the wife tells me that their therapist said that instead of asking him to do something he'll never do, she could try chucking everything he leaves out into that tub. If he's looking for something, he has to sift through that thing for it. And once the tub's full, he goes through it and puts things away or throws them out.

You can't get by on the simple asking him to do it, but then doing it anyway when he doesn't do it. Sit down and have a real discussion with a real plan (such as the Rubbermaid tub story above, but use whatever idea works for you) for when he inevitably doesn't do it.

Another thing is to alter your perspective on the issue. Think seriously, is he doing something for you that is either nice or helpful to you that you're forgetting about? Can you make yourself feel better about cleaning up some of his messes? Remember that your jobs are equal so don't factor in that you clean up everything else. He works outside of the home, you work inside of it. So all of that aside, what other stuff does he do that might make you feel less annoyed with this?

Well nothing really, he's pretty awesome in most aspects of our relationship.I just feel very stressed and he's adding to it. Out of all the comments yours helped. Thank you!! Perhaps you're right I'll just talk to him when he gets home I won't be mad anymore then. And if that doesn't work. I'll buy a Rubbermaid bin lol. I don't mind picking up after him. It's that I am picking up many things after him every single day. We have people who need to come into our home everyday and I would like it to be clean.

messyinthekitchen

My advice to any hot woman who has a man causing him stress.

Relieve the stress.

Lol..I'm on it

fit4mom

My advice to any hot woman who has a man causing him stress.

Relieve the stress.

Your backwards following me. :laugh:

King_Bee

Way to bash 'all men' for your husband faults! Good job.

And I'll be here all week. :laugh: Really I will.

Your jokes are beyond me.

messyinthekitchen

My rule is if its not in the hamper, it doesnt get washed. I have no idea if he wants to wear the jeans he wore the day before or which sweater just came out of the wash and which one he wore already.
I'm usually the one leaving the nail clippers around, and we both leave stuff all over the house. He helps out when he can, and we have chores that we are each in charge of. I gave him a drawer to dump his wallet, keys, sunglasses and miscellaneous stuff when he gets home. It's right by the door and out of sight. If I'm cleaning and find a bunch of his stuff, I put it in his drawer.
All of my miscellaneous stuff goes on top of my dresser.

I've tried this and it doesn't work thats why I am irritated. He has done a lot of tweaking these past 6 years maybe 6 more will do lol.

fit4mom

Way to bash 'all men' for your husband faults! Good job.

And I'll be here all week. :laugh: Really I will.

Your jokes are beyond me.

Or I'm an evil mad scientist ready to rule the world. Your not getting your Monty Python in. It's like vitamin C.

Buca412

It's NOT all men and it ticks me off that slobs like that are stereotyping ALL men. I work a full-time job, plus DJ on weekends. I still manage to do my own laundry, clean around the house, dishes, dinner, change diapers, care for the kids, vacuum, take out the trash, replace light fixtures, faucets, other home maintenance, yard work, etc. So, it's not all men. Sorry, but sounds like your guy is being a bit lazy and you are enabling him because you are picking up after him. Either you put your foot down and tell him to pick up his ****, otherwise you pick it up and simply throw it in the trash until he gets the message. Otherwise, I wish the best of luck with this.

JediMaster_intraining

maybe you could try talking to him about how you feel. i did this and now occasionally he puts the plate IN the sink! it's progress!

i know it's kind of annoying to have to pick up my boyfriend's shirts, socks, and wrappers off the floor. hell, he even puts stuff in the trash can WITHOUT the trash bag when i am cleaning...i tell you what, it drives me mad but it's stuff like this you will laugh about one day when you are old sitting in the living room watching the 5 o'clock news.

cheers!:drinker:

messyinthekitchen

You can't act like the porn star woman he wants, he shouldn't have to act like the perfect soap opera guy you want!

He gets everything he wants. He's not lacking in that department. And soap opera men don't exist so obviously that is not what I am expecting of him.

fit4mom

soap opera's

soap opera men don't exist so obviously that is not what I am expecting of him.

UGG I'm so changing the channel I hate soap operas! But that's just me.

MFPAddict

My advice to any hot woman who has a man causing him stress.

Relieve the stress.

Your backwards following me. :laugh:

Perhaps I like the view

Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused

You can't act like the porn star woman he wants, he shouldn't have to act like the perfect soap opera guy you want!

He gets everything he wants. He's not lacking in that department. And soap opera men don't exist so obviously that is not what I am expecting of him.

Oh yea right!

messyinthekitchen

soap opera's

soap opera men don't exist so obviously that is not what I am expecting of him.

UGG I'm so changing the channel I hate soap operas! But that's just me.

Lol as do I.

Jeff92se

If you rank on him to pic up his clothes, he won't do it.

Make a deal. He picks one thing he'd like you to do and then you pick one. Within reason, that might work.

messyinthekitchen

You can't act like the porn star woman he wants, he shouldn't have to act like the perfect soap opera guy you want!

He gets everything he wants. He's not lacking in that department. And soap opera men don't exist so obviously that is not what I am expecting of him.

Oh yea right!

Well as far as i am concerned. He knows if he wants anything else just to let me know. And he is a very happy man so I must be doing something right.

messyinthekitchen

If you rank on him to pic up his clothes, he won't do it.

Make a deal. He picks one thing he'd like you to do and then you pick one. Within reason, that might work.

That's a great idea!

fit4mom

My advice to any hot woman who has a man causing him stress.

Relieve the stress.

Your backwards following me. :laugh:

Perhaps I like the view

I can't argue with common sense.:smokin:

holzjw1482

Its how we mark territory. Would you rather peed on the carpet?

sunkisses

This couple I'm friends with, they have a big Rubbermaid tub in their guest bedroom. I asked them what's up with that, and the wife tells me that their therapist said that instead of asking him to do something he'll never do, she could try chucking everything he leaves out into that tub. If he's looking for something, he has to sift through that thing for it. And once the tub's full, he goes through it and puts things away or throws them out.

You can't get by on the simple asking him to do it, but then doing it anyway when he doesn't do it. Sit down and have a real discussion with a real plan (such as the Rubbermaid tub story above, but use whatever idea works for you) for when he inevitably doesn't do it.

Another thing is to alter your perspective on the issue. Think seriously, is he doing something for you that is either nice or helpful to you that you're forgetting about? Can you make yourself feel better about cleaning up some of his messes? Remember that your jobs are equal so don't factor in that you clean up everything else. He works outside of the home, you work inside of it. So all of that aside, what other stuff does he do that might make you feel less annoyed with this?

Well nothing really, he's pretty awesome in most aspects of our relationship.I just feel very stressed and he's adding to it. Out of all the comments yours helped. Thank you!! Perhaps you're right I'll just talk to him when he gets home I won't be mad anymore then. And if that doesn't work. I'll buy a Rubbermaid bin lol. I don't mind picking up after him. It's that I am picking up many things after him every single day. We have people who need to come into our home everyday and I would like it to be clean.

I'm glad you got something out of it I forgot to mention that the Rubbermaid bin thing helped eliminate a lot of my friends' stress. She nagged less so they fought less. Things are a little better. He's still a slob but it's not intruding on the rest of the house.

My ex used to be a bit sloppy, but I was ok with it most of the time because he used to change the oil, brakes and tires on the cars. It was a decent trade-off for me. Didn't need a bin for that.

writtenINthestars

My husband is a wicked slop. But I can be too so I just keep my mouth shut.

What irks me more so than him being incapable of picking up after himself, is him walking into the kitchen...just glancing around and saying "Hun do we have milk?".

My reply "Did you try checking the fridge?"

messyinthekitchen

This couple I'm friends with, they have a big Rubbermaid tub in their guest bedroom. I asked them what's up with that, and the wife tells me that their therapist said that instead of asking him to do something he'll never do, she could try chucking everything he leaves out into that tub. If he's looking for something, he has to sift through that thing for it. And once the tub's full, he goes through it and puts things away or throws them out.

You can't get by on the simple asking him to do it, but then doing it anyway when he doesn't do it. Sit down and have a real discussion with a real plan (such as the Rubbermaid tub story above, but use whatever idea works for you) for when he inevitably doesn't do it.

Another thing is to alter your perspective on the issue. Think seriously, is he doing something for you that is either nice or helpful to you that you're forgetting about? Can you make yourself feel better about cleaning up some of his messes? Remember that your jobs are equal so don't factor in that you clean up everything else. He works outside of the home, you work inside of it. So all of that aside, what other stuff does he do that might make you feel less annoyed with this?

Well nothing really, he's pretty awesome in most aspects of our relationship.I just feel very stressed and he's adding to it. Out of all the comments yours helped. Thank you!! Perhaps you're right I'll just talk to him when he gets home I won't be mad anymore then. And if that doesn't work. I'll buy a Rubbermaid bin lol. I don't mind picking up after him. It's that I am picking up many things after him every single day. We have people who need to come into our home everyday and I would like it to be clean.

I'm glad you got something out of it I forgot to mention that the Rubbermaid bin thing helped eliminate a lot of my friends' stress. She nagged less so they fought less. Things are a little better. He's still a slob but it's not intruding on the rest of the house.

My ex used to be a bit sloppy, but I was ok with it most of the time because he used to change the oil, brakes and tires on the cars. It was a decent trade-off for me. Didn't need a bin for that.

Yes my fiance is very helpful too. I run a specialty cake business form home so people are here all the time. If they weren't, then this wouldn't bother me. If he could leave his stuff in other rooms where everyone didn't see it, I wouldn't care lol.

lilyinlove

pick up all his crap and dump it on his desk...let him sort it out. Do it daily until he gets the hint.

what a wonderful idea!!

would you want to be married to someone who did this to you? It seems very parental, and not a very nice parent at that.

I'd never treat my husband this way, and he would never do it to me either.

I do and he loves me for it!