Why can't men pick up after themselves.

messyinthekitchen

soap opera's

soap opera men don't exist so obviously that is not what I am expecting of him.

UGG I'm so changing the channel I hate soap operas! But that's just me.

Lol as do I.

Jeff92se

If you rank on him to pic up his clothes, he won't do it.

Make a deal. He picks one thing he'd like you to do and then you pick one. Within reason, that might work.

messyinthekitchen

You can't act like the porn star woman he wants, he shouldn't have to act like the perfect soap opera guy you want!

He gets everything he wants. He's not lacking in that department. And soap opera men don't exist so obviously that is not what I am expecting of him.

Oh yea right!

Well as far as i am concerned. He knows if he wants anything else just to let me know. And he is a very happy man so I must be doing something right.

messyinthekitchen

If you rank on him to pic up his clothes, he won't do it.

Make a deal. He picks one thing he'd like you to do and then you pick one. Within reason, that might work.

That's a great idea!

fit4mom

My advice to any hot woman who has a man causing him stress.

Relieve the stress.

Your backwards following me. :laugh:

Perhaps I like the view

I can't argue with common sense.:smokin:

holzjw1482

Its how we mark territory. Would you rather peed on the carpet?

sunkisses

This couple I'm friends with, they have a big Rubbermaid tub in their guest bedroom. I asked them what's up with that, and the wife tells me that their therapist said that instead of asking him to do something he'll never do, she could try chucking everything he leaves out into that tub. If he's looking for something, he has to sift through that thing for it. And once the tub's full, he goes through it and puts things away or throws them out.

You can't get by on the simple asking him to do it, but then doing it anyway when he doesn't do it. Sit down and have a real discussion with a real plan (such as the Rubbermaid tub story above, but use whatever idea works for you) for when he inevitably doesn't do it.

Another thing is to alter your perspective on the issue. Think seriously, is he doing something for you that is either nice or helpful to you that you're forgetting about? Can you make yourself feel better about cleaning up some of his messes? Remember that your jobs are equal so don't factor in that you clean up everything else. He works outside of the home, you work inside of it. So all of that aside, what other stuff does he do that might make you feel less annoyed with this?

Well nothing really, he's pretty awesome in most aspects of our relationship.I just feel very stressed and he's adding to it. Out of all the comments yours helped. Thank you!! Perhaps you're right I'll just talk to him when he gets home I won't be mad anymore then. And if that doesn't work. I'll buy a Rubbermaid bin lol. I don't mind picking up after him. It's that I am picking up many things after him every single day. We have people who need to come into our home everyday and I would like it to be clean.

I'm glad you got something out of it I forgot to mention that the Rubbermaid bin thing helped eliminate a lot of my friends' stress. She nagged less so they fought less. Things are a little better. He's still a slob but it's not intruding on the rest of the house.

My ex used to be a bit sloppy, but I was ok with it most of the time because he used to change the oil, brakes and tires on the cars. It was a decent trade-off for me. Didn't need a bin for that.

writtenINthestars

My husband is a wicked slop. But I can be too so I just keep my mouth shut.

What irks me more so than him being incapable of picking up after himself, is him walking into the kitchen...just glancing around and saying "Hun do we have milk?".

My reply "Did you try checking the fridge?"

messyinthekitchen

This couple I'm friends with, they have a big Rubbermaid tub in their guest bedroom. I asked them what's up with that, and the wife tells me that their therapist said that instead of asking him to do something he'll never do, she could try chucking everything he leaves out into that tub. If he's looking for something, he has to sift through that thing for it. And once the tub's full, he goes through it and puts things away or throws them out.

You can't get by on the simple asking him to do it, but then doing it anyway when he doesn't do it. Sit down and have a real discussion with a real plan (such as the Rubbermaid tub story above, but use whatever idea works for you) for when he inevitably doesn't do it.

Another thing is to alter your perspective on the issue. Think seriously, is he doing something for you that is either nice or helpful to you that you're forgetting about? Can you make yourself feel better about cleaning up some of his messes? Remember that your jobs are equal so don't factor in that you clean up everything else. He works outside of the home, you work inside of it. So all of that aside, what other stuff does he do that might make you feel less annoyed with this?

Well nothing really, he's pretty awesome in most aspects of our relationship.I just feel very stressed and he's adding to it. Out of all the comments yours helped. Thank you!! Perhaps you're right I'll just talk to him when he gets home I won't be mad anymore then. And if that doesn't work. I'll buy a Rubbermaid bin lol. I don't mind picking up after him. It's that I am picking up many things after him every single day. We have people who need to come into our home everyday and I would like it to be clean.

I'm glad you got something out of it I forgot to mention that the Rubbermaid bin thing helped eliminate a lot of my friends' stress. She nagged less so they fought less. Things are a little better. He's still a slob but it's not intruding on the rest of the house.

My ex used to be a bit sloppy, but I was ok with it most of the time because he used to change the oil, brakes and tires on the cars. It was a decent trade-off for me. Didn't need a bin for that.

Yes my fiance is very helpful too. I run a specialty cake business form home so people are here all the time. If they weren't, then this wouldn't bother me. If he could leave his stuff in other rooms where everyone didn't see it, I wouldn't care lol.

lilyinlove

pick up all his crap and dump it on his desk...let him sort it out. Do it daily until he gets the hint.

what a wonderful idea!!

would you want to be married to someone who did this to you? It seems very parental, and not a very nice parent at that.

I'd never treat my husband this way, and he would never do it to me either.

I do and he loves me for it!

citygirl123

Its how we mark territory. Would you rather peed on the carpet?

LOL!!!

Bonita_Lynne_58

Why can't women put the toilet seat up?

Oh the TOILET SEAT WAR....My husband and I have been fighting that for 32 years now. Wouldn't you think he'd surrender?

We used to have the TP GOES ON FRONTWARDS/BACKWARDS WAR....I finally won that one!

Mine's also a mess leaver. Truly it's a pretty minor flaw.

Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused

You can't act like the porn star woman he wants, he shouldn't have to act like the perfect soap opera guy you want!

He gets everything he wants. He's not lacking in that department. And soap opera men don't exist so obviously that is not what I am expecting of him.

Oh yea right!

Well as far as i am concerned. He knows if he wants anything else just to let me know. And he is a very happy man so I must be doing something right.

I was keeeeding. Y U SO SERIOUS?

Football_N_Guns

Funny as I have to pick up after my WIFE.

Every damn day!!

Troll

lmfao! HOORAY IM NOT ALONE! Only sub "snot rags" with "empty snuff cans and spit bottles" . My fiance made me blow a gasket last month. I have a rule: i do the laundry ONLY IF you put it in the hamper. Im not searching the earth for your only 3 pairs of workpants AND washing them AND laying them out for you. I didnt wash them, and he got mad at me because he can get fired for wearing stained, shredded clothes. I told him "then i guess you had better get some washed and learn where that damn hamper is next time." there are just days i have to say,"greg, i can either talk to you like a child or you can put on your bigboy pants and act like a competant 22 year old man. You're smart enough to find your own socks while i clean a litterbox,feed 5 animals, get my own clothes together, and make the bed."

blazergrad

Funny as I have to pick up after my WIFE.

^^ This is me too! I'm the neat/clean freak in our household. My wife will leave crumbs on the kitchen counter, cabinet doors open, wrappers on the counter, etc. etc. and I'm the one that usually comes along behind her and cleans up.

BUT, I do have to say that every night before she comes to bed, she will clean up her messes if I haven't done it beforehand, so I guess I just need to learn to leave it be and let her get to it in her own time.

solpwr

This is definitely not a guy thing, but a person thing. My wife and I each have our spots where we put mail and various other things when we walk in the door. Her spot is constantly a mess and it drives me nuts. My spot rarely is a mess more than one night.

Its actually a personality thing. Of the 16 basic variations of temperaments, several types are "neat", and several types are "sloppy". Independent of gender yes, but men by gender have a more typical type, and women by gender have a more common type. Gender correlates, but is not causal.

kelley_m

My husband is a wicked slop. But I can be too so I just keep my mouth shout.

What irks me more so than him being incapable of picking up after himself, is him walking into the kitchen...just glancing around and saying "Hun do we have milk?".

My reply "Did you try checking the fridge?"

I have one of those...

Jeff92se

Funny as I have to pick up after my WIFE.

^^ This is me too! I'm the neat/clean freak in our household. My wife will leave crumbs on the kitchen counter, cabinet doors open, wrappers on the counter, etc. etc. and I'm the one that usually comes along behind her and cleans up.

BUT, I do have to say that every night before she comes to bed, she will clean up her messes if I haven't done it beforehand, so I guess I just need to learn to leave it be and let her get to it in her own time.

She will do some cleaning. And I can leave messes too. Just different ones. I learn to clean up the stuff she might do (or might not mind doing) and do the rest.

Cleaning tip. Any time you have a few minutes free, try to clean up as much as you can. You'd be amazed what you can clean in 2 min.

ie... heating something up in the microwave 3 - 4 min. Empty dishwasher, tidy up counter, wash dishes, pick up family room. emply the drying rack of dishes etc....

Or every time you get up from watching TV, grab something to put away or throw away. It works.

While cooking dinner, there's something that needs a few min to cook. Try to clean the stove, wash your cookingware before dinner. Less to clean later. : )

Hopefully, you don't have some massive clean day at the end of the week.

CoraGregoryCPA

Lol. My fiance would say this about me. Not all men are bad.