You Let Yourself Go

krist3ng

Yeah, I totally understand how you feel. My sis and I were watching some old home movie, and I was opening a birthday present, and I get a pair of white jean shorts (...it was the 90s!) and my face just falls as I realize it's the wrong size (my age size, versus my actual size). I dunno why my dad didn't know my size, but whatever.
It was kind of depressing; I was clearly a pretty chubby kid. But I hadn't remembered in adulthood that I had been quite overweight when I was only like 8.

hperowl

This was so inspiring! What amazing determination! Good Luck to you on your journey!

AandJsMommy

Thank you for sharing this!!

jjteddy1982

I love the way she turned a negative coment, into a positive one....AWESOME!!!!!

nrimas

This is an awesome post!

Being overweight is not a moral issue, however it is treated that way by many people. The way overweight people are treated is one of the last acceptable forms of discrimination and prejudice.

Good luck to all of us. Let's overcome this epidemic of hate by being the voice of truth.

dlaplume2

You rock!! I hope you find the support and encouragement that you need from this website. It looks like you have had some success so far. I hope you continue on your path with much more success. It is a one day at a time journey.

Best wishes.

aimeemusic

I kind of hate that expression “you let yourself go”. I didn’t go anywhere. I was never THEIR to begin with. I was born nearly 10 pounds to a diabetic mother. I was a very fat baby who became a fat toddler, a fat child, a fat pre-teen, a fat teen. I weighed 300 pounds by the time I was in high school.

I have never had one single day in my entire life that I wasn't fat. I guess when you’ve never been thin you don’t know what you’re missing. But I DO know what I would be missing if I was no longer fat.

I would be missing the stares and dirty looks of strangers as I pass them in the store or on the street. I would be missing the snarky remarks of sales girls telling me "we don't carry anything in YOUR size". I would be missing having to assess that flimsy chair at a friend's house, wondering if I sit, will it hold me? Missing the comments of friends and family asking if I've been exercising and eating right. Missing going through pair after pair of jeans because my touching thighs keep rubbing holes in them. Missing going through life never knowing what my style is, because I've always just had to settle for what I could find that would fit me. Missing the judgmental smirks of strangers if I dare eat anything other than a salad. Missing never going swimming in 20 years because I would make people sick if I wore a bathing suit. Missing never being able to enjoy a nice long soak in a bath because most tubs are too narrow and squeeze my hips. Missing going through the hottest summer months sweltering in jeans and big shirts. Missing chairs with arms that pinch and poke and dig into me like medieval torture devices. Missing clothes that are either too tight or lay on me like a potato sack - nothing every fitting right.

Those are just a few of the things I want to go the rest of my life “missing”. So ok, I don't know what I'm missing not being thin? But I will be happy going the rest of my life missing what it's like being fat.

I never did Let Myself Go. But now I fully intend to. I Let Myself Go …down the fresh fruit and vegetable isle instead of the chips isle. I Let Myself Go down the street for a walk. I let Let Myself Go to the farmer's market instead of a fast food joint. I Let Myself Go for a hike instead of the movies. For the first time in my life I really am "letting myself go". And you know what? I'm pretty proud of that.

You and I share one thing in common gf....I have never never ever been an "appropriate weight". I was a chubby baby, a chubby little girl and cute big legs but as grew.....I just got bigger...and chubby legs and fat everything else means I only go to 2-3 stores....

Both my parents are big but my mom used to be thin and so was my dad....I never had that luxtury....

Anyways....life happends and food became my best friend....I was always really social but I ate with friends and alone....food was a key component to everything as a teen and young adult.

My mom loved me with food. She felt that as long as she feed me and had a roof over my head she was doing her role. And for the longest time I let it happen because I though that was love was. As a teen, I rebelled wanting more and food was the only thing that brought me any satisfaction... I think really wanted respect, independence, to feel truly beautiful , to appreciated for my talents, to feel like my family actually cared about my talents and to walk away from a emotinally stressful situation with my then boyfriend and with my mom.

It felt for the longest time that if did not do what either wanted, I would be left alone....but one day...I walked away first from the situation with my mom and years later I got the guts to leave my bf.....

It was not until I walked away from everything that I was able to move forward....At the time I was 240+ pounds.....

I told myself that I needed to let all the baggage (almost 5 years of craziness) ago....

Life was hard but I had to let got...and slowly things got much better

I am now 214 as of today....and I bought my first pair of old navy dreamer jeans.....a size 14.....as an adult the smallest size I have every been....

I want to let go of being afraid that I would be too fat for rides, for planes and even for love......luckily I found a wonderful man who loved me at 235 and supports me with all the things I really wanted for myself.

Let's be strong together and make this our year...

My goal is to make it to ONE-der land....I have never been under 180 pounds as an adult.....I still got a lot to let go off!!

*hugs*

livinginwoods

Wow, you are my hero!

StacySkinny

Thank you! I'm proud of the weight loss so far, but I still have a LONG way to go! lol Sucks losing almost 50 lbs and no one even noticing. :P

I find it helps if you *fake it till you make it*

Right from the start of my 30 kg weight loss 19 months ago I pretended I was already at goal weight & was actually quite cocky haha. Visualization!! It really works... That & breaking the weight loss down into 5kg blocks. I knew I would make it cos in mymind all those months ago when I started I was that mentally tough & ready because I was living the dream already! Literally faking till I made it.

hahah I love that! Fake It Til You Make It! I think this advice is going to help me a lot. I have a very good imagination so if I can manage to imagine me already at my goal weight I think that will help me a lot. A LOT of people say how important it is to visualize, I don't think it really sunk in for me until your post though. Thank you! I know it will be hard to visualize myself thin, as I never have been even close to thin before, but I think I can do it if I focus hard enough.

StacySkinny

I just want to say ... I know how you feel. I'm there now not being able to fit into movie theatre seats because they are tight on my hips. I can't wait to miss those things too! Best of luck

lol Yeah! I'm right there with you. I know how that feels, very well. In high school a group of friends and I went to the movies together. After buying our tickets we went in to get comfy before the movie. I was mortified to find that I couldn't fit into the seat. None of them noticed me struggling to sit down as they where all laughing and chatting among themselves. I stood up and did the only thing I could bring myself to do in that moment - I lied to them. I asked the guy who drove us if I could have the keys, I told him I was feeling a little nauseous and wanted to lay down in the car. They started to argue and said that I guess we should all go if I was feeling sick. I insisted they stay and watch the movie and wouldn't let them leave on account of me. I couldn't bring myself to tell them the truth. I sat alone for two hours in a cold car (it was mid winter) and cried. In the end lying to them didn't change anything though, they still never invited me to the movies again.

Helenatrandom

I, too, have never been thin. I wear the swimsuit anyway. I only had rude comments once. Teenage boys. I picked one out and pretended to know his mom! I didn't threaten to snitch or anything... just asked how she is and if she feels better now that the weather is beautiful... Generic things... told him to say hello to her and tell her I'm doing much better. HE told the other boys to quit being snide... Other than that, I assume those smiles are just people being friendly and smile back. If I'm right, great, if not, they feel shame for smirking at a friend, and I can go on with my life! It does hurt to overhear rude comments, though.

StacySkinny

Being overweight is not a moral issue, however it is treated that way by many people. The way overweight people are treated is one of the last acceptable forms of discrimination and prejudice.

I couldn't agree more! Strangers look at me sometimes like I kill puppies for a living. lol I often wondered what drew complete strangers to be so openly hostile and hateful toward me, until I realized that the "average sized" world looks at bigger people like they are immoral people that care nothing about themselves and only care about food and stuffing themselves. They look at bigger people like they have no self control and are people without any regards to themselves, their bodies, or their lives. You're right, society treats being larger as a moral issue. "...one of the last acceptable forms of discrimination and prejudice". I couldn't have said it better myself. It breaks my heart to know what people who don't even know me think of me as soon as they see me. And they couldn't be more wrong.

chatdude

I know you have killed a few puppies and kittens so dont try and wiggle out of this stacy!
lol jk.
You have a nice writing style, i follow along perfectly. I was never too judgemental of heavier crowd any more than any other x-section of society. With that said, when I was younger I did find myself snickering at a big lady with my buddies and now that im older ive realized how mean, but more like how ignorant it is.

beatleschic87

OMG i love you so much. You "GO" girl! :flowerforyou:

rosalee87

this made me tear up; love it

lkidgell

wow! so inspirational!

metisgirl

wonderful post.....

Slove009

That is truly inspirational! I honestly feel a renewed sense of commitment after reading this. You are amazing! You keep letting yourself go wherever you want to!

kimberg75

Very nice post! Congrats on losing 45 lbs. so far! You're doing fabulous!! I know that with your new attitude and determination you will find that skinny girl that's been dying to be seen!!

ShadowSoldier23

I kind of hate that expression “you let yourself go”. I didn’t go anywhere. I was never THEIR to begin with. I was born nearly 10 pounds to a diabetic mother. I was a very fat baby who became a fat toddler, a fat child, a fat pre-teen, a fat teen. I weighed 300 pounds by the time I was in high school.

I have never had one single day in my entire life that I wasn't fat. I guess when you’ve never been thin you don’t know what you’re missing. But I DO know what I would be missing if I was no longer fat.

I would be missing the stares and dirty looks of strangers as I pass them in the store or on the street. I would be missing the snarky remarks of sales girls telling me "we don't carry anything in YOUR size". I would be missing having to assess that flimsy chair at a friend's house, wondering if I sit, will it hold me? Missing the comments of friends and family asking if I've been exercising and eating right. Missing going through pair after pair of jeans because my touching thighs keep rubbing holes in them. Missing going through life never knowing what my style is, because I've always just had to settle for what I could find that would fit me. Missing the judgmental smirks of strangers if I dare eat anything other than a salad. Missing never going swimming in 20 years because I would make people sick if I wore a bathing suit. Missing never being able to enjoy a nice long soak in a bath because most tubs are too narrow and squeeze my hips. Missing going through the hottest summer months sweltering in jeans and big shirts. Missing chairs with arms that pinch and poke and dig into me like medieval torture devices. Missing clothes that are either too tight or lay on me like a potato sack - nothing every fitting right.

Those are just a few of the things I want to go the rest of my life “missing”. So ok, I don't know what I'm missing not being thin? But I will be happy going the rest of my life missing what it's like being fat.

I never did Let Myself Go. But now I fully intend to. I Let Myself Go …down the fresh fruit and vegetable isle instead of the chips isle. I Let Myself Go down the street for a walk. I let Let Myself Go to the farmer's market instead of a fast food joint. I Let Myself Go for a hike instead of the movies. For the first time in my life I really am "letting myself go". And you know what? I'm pretty proud of that.

I'm right there with you girl! I have always been in the same shoes my whole life. The good news for me though, was that I stopped letting other people hurt me. It was more my own negative thoughts that hurt me. Eventually I got over that too because we can't always be the perfect stereotypical model and you know, I don't want to be either. I want to be a "plus size" but healthy because I think it's beautiful. I hate to see people who bash and destroy themselves for being big...it's society that is warped, not us! You only have one body and one life so you might as well be, for the most part, happy in that body regardless of if you gained 2 pounds last week. It's not the end of the world and it can change. I still have the issue of worrying about chairs and stuff, but I always stay humble about it and make jokes like "I hope I don't wind up on the floor!" because I know how other people tend to think that way...so I'd rather beat them to the punch and say what they are thinking. It doesn't hurt me one bit, I have accepted that not all chairs are made for my weight but that's okay! lol.