how honest should a MFP friend be?

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amybell68
amybell68 Posts: 275 Member
in Food and Nutrition
okay I have not had this problem until now, I have lots of friends who make their food journal public, and I usually take a look just to see how their day went so I can support them or get good ideas, but what do you do when a person is making such bad choices???? I mean just junk.....do you say something, or keep it to yourself, I really know these people need friends too.....but I just don't know if I can sit by and say nothing!!! Advice?? Anyone??
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Replies

  • gregpack
    gregpack Posts: 426 Member
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    We could probably all make better food choices, but if it is working for them and they are losing, I say let it be.
  • ADTeachTX
    ADTeachTX Posts: 204 Member
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    I have said something to someone before but always PM and in a supportive way...like, I am concerned about you because I see...
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    If people don't ask me, I assume they aren't looking for advice. The majority of us know when we aren't making good choices.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    I don't say anything unless asked. My friends are adults so I presume they've got eating all figured out by now.
  • Abevemi
    Abevemi Posts: 54 Member
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    I think that something should be said...after all, the point of having friends is to offer support - surely that should be good and/or bad!
  • maryd523
    maryd523 Posts: 661 Member
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    I agree with the other posters...they know they aren't eating healthy, if you say anything you risk becoming a nag. Encourage them when they do well, otherwise leave it alone. They know you are looking.
  • cjpg
    cjpg Posts: 433 Member
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    Just be honest - if they're decisions are detrimental to why their dieting to begin with then voice your opinion.

    The only thing to be careful of is different people respond to different attitudes - what you say could motivate one person and demoralise another.

    Ultimately though, if what you say is factual, the truth and what you feel in your heart of hearts to be right then voice it. Real friends will welcome change, no matter how harsh the words come out of a true friend.

    Just don't pester them over and over. Say it once, if they don't listen it really is them that misses out. Unfortunate, but you have your own journey to deal with too so only put that stress on yourself if you know you handle it.
  • directorj
    directorj Posts: 537 Member
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    Having my diary public, makes me make better choices because I know someone is watching
  • samantha1953
    samantha1953 Posts: 156 Member
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    But are they still losing? Are they complaining that they're not or not feeling great? I guess it wouldn't hurt to say something like "if you upped your protein and cut back on the sugar you may feel fuller and have more energy." Just make sure your kind and supportive.
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
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    well, what can you say? They logged it and ate it, so I'm sure they know that they're eating junk. But, I think it depends on the person. Some might be encouraged by some feedback, others might not want it. I would probably just not say anything.
  • Julesaf
    Julesaf Posts: 36
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    Honestly? They know it's bad. I say do NOT say anything. They probably feel bad about it already. Your saying something won't help.
  • maceycarey
    maceycarey Posts: 143 Member
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    If people don't ask me, I assume they aren't looking for advice. The majority of us know when we aren't making good choices.

    this
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    The person probably knows they are making bad choices. For example, tonight I ate a pint of ice cream. Do I know it was bad? Yes, i don't need someone to tell me. But someone could say, "you'll make better choices tomorrow" or "congrats on burning x calories at the gym." Spin it to be positive.
  • flyawaybyebye
    flyawaybyebye Posts: 250
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    If it's one bad day, no, I wouldn't say anything. If they eat nothing but McDonalds and Taco Bell around the clock, and have expressed concern about their health in any way (not losing well, feeling tired, etc.) I'd definitely say something. Everyone is here to learn from one another, and I'd assume they're wise enough to take the advice they think applies and leave the rest. Ultimately, I wouldn't lecture or say they "have to" do anything in particular, but some suggestions are certainly not a bad idea!
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
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    well, what can you say? They logged it and ate it, so I'm sure they know that they're eating junk. But, I think it depends on the person. Some might be encouraged by some feedback, others might not want it. I would probably just not say anything.
    I should add that I eat my fair share of junk, so I don't have a lot of room to be making judgments as it is. And on days when I eat bad, I know that I ate bad, so I don't really care for the comments. They don't offend me, I know that people usually have good intentions, but it doesn't really help me any either.
  • HonkyTonks
    HonkyTonks Posts: 1,193 Member
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    I have been making some bad food choices recently, due to having work parties and so on, and pretty aware of those poor choices - but logging them is way better than not logging them cause I am keeping myself accountable and aware.. I don't mind people giving me advice on ways to meet my nutrient targets and food ideas and so on but I probably would prefer people not just criticise me for not eating the right foods.
  • mrschappet
    mrschappet Posts: 488 Member
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    I would give your honest opinion but try to be sensitive... we are here to support each other to live a healthier lifestyle even if that means giving some constructive criticism that may hurt a little...
  • glenr79
    glenr79 Posts: 283 Member
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    Sometimes my women friends on here get mad because I get on them for eating under 1100 calories and under 100g of carbs... they believe the less you eat the more weight you will lose and the less carbs the weight you will lose..... you will lose weight at first, but that weight is muscle and is not permanent... makes me sad to see people do that to their bodies.... I want to help them so I don't really care if they get mad at me
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,634 Member
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    If they are losing consistently, getting in their essentials (macro and micro nutrients) getting in their water, and exercising, then IMO you don't need to interfere with their program. Last thing people want is being "policed" about their choices if they are successful on their journey.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Sd0510
    Sd0510 Posts: 295 Member
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    Is this every day or just once in a while? If it is only once in a while, maybe it is their cheat day or something.

    This is tough, because on one hand, they might be insulted if you tell them they are eating bad, but on the other hand, they might be thankful you are helping them because they needed advice.

    It comes down to whether or not you want to tell them. If you feel like it will help them for the better, then you should tell them. They may be wanting to change it themselves but not know how.

    Sorry I'm not much help. =/

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