Baby help! Going a bit crazy!

xtinalovexo

i might sound mean, but i just let her cry! if nothing was wrong with her and she was just crying to cry, i just let her. she's 6 now... perfectly healthy, secure, happy, and never slept a single night in my bed! my bed is mine, its not the "family" bed.

benore

Run, don't walk to your nearest bookseller or go to Amazon and get a book titled "On Becoming Baby Wise" http://amzn.to/s29ycK . This book is a great baby sleep advice book. It's never to early to start training yourself and your baby is about the age where this book becomes extremely useful. We have a 5 month old little girl who began sleeping through the night at 10-12 weeks. There is a middle ground between "crying it out" and "running to the rescue" and this attempts to help you find the right balance. It was recommended to us by about a half dozen mothers. My wife read the book, I listened to the audio book version. I can not recommend it more highly. And you tailor the advice to what works for you.

Swaddling is also essential. It gives the baby the sense of "womb comfort", but swaddling is a must for as long as your baby will allow it. Most experts suggest to stop at 3-4 months, so you don't have a lot of time left to swaddle. Our little girl kicked her way out of the swaddle at 2 months, so the fun didn't last very long. And both you and the father should try it, at least one of you will have the nack for it. My wife made me do it all the time because she said I swaddled our little girl up like a burrito.

Lastly, don't lose heart. Remember "this too shall pass." If it seems like nothing is helping, trust your instincts. If you feel like something is wrong, talk with your pediatrician. It could be colic or something else. Or she could need something in the room to soothe her (like classical music or a night light). Good luck and enjoy this time, because before you know it ... she will be all grown up.

courtgosvener

I have NEVER used Cry it out method and my child only wakes up in the middle of the night teething. She is cutting her one year molars and just felt them poking through a little bit (hence why she has been fussy!) For instance. last night she woke up at 1 am. I went in there picked her up, gave her Tylenol (i knew she was teething could see the top too but now the molars makes things 10x worse) I found her pacifier (she couldn't find it) I gave her her special blanket and left the room. It took 5 minutes and she went back to sleep. No "cry it out". I am of the firm belief that most babies only cry when they need something. My daughter is 15 months. She is sort of in between. She can work the system, but she is not old enough to clearly know "I want to get up and party tonight" so to speak.

My husband believes in Cry it out, however, he was deployed the first 9 months of her life so I have essentially raised her from infancy. For instance, one night she woke up. I did the routine of pacifier, special blanket, etc. She was still screaming!!! I laid there for about 5-10 min. My husband was like, "DONT YOU DARE GO IN THERE!!" We actually fought about it. I said, "I don't care what YOU say I am going in there!!! Sure enough, she had a POOPY diaper. IF I had listened to him, she would have festered in her poop all night and probably had a horrible diaper rash!! (By the way, night poops are not normal for her so you should always think, 'hungry, poopy, in pain, cold, hot" check those first!

Maybe she is still hungry? Babies her age should be getting a certain amount, and if you breast feed always try to put her on the nipple to see if that is what it is!!!!??

cravelove

Im maybe not the person to answer...lol........neither my husband or I ever ever let either of our girls cry themselves to sleep. Just couldnt do it. Sure it was a pain at time, just rocked them til they fell asleep, and put them to bed. Did swap from sheets in their cribs to fleece....so the bed didnt feel so cold to them...I think it helped!! Haha...........Good luck. They are only babies for a bit, you can get through it no matter what you do,it wont last forever. And no...my kids didnt sleep with me up until they hit Jr High....lol....I did have them in my room in their crib, one until she was one, one at 8 months before they went in their own rooms

This

cravelove

I have to say... at two months, you should just hold her and love her and hold her and love her until she gets to sleep and work on sleep training later. A child this young absolutely does not have the mindset to manipulate you. What she craves is human affection and an attachment to you-which she will gain by you holding her a lot. Enjoy her and hold her as much as you can now-before long, she won't want you because she'll want to explore!!

Even better She's still so little... she has spent 9 months being carried around by you and it is what she knows. She's scared without you.... it's not manupulative, its survival technique. Leaving babies to cry for even short periods of time at that age has been proven to be detrimental to infant mental health.

All 3 of our babies have slept with us, they don't want to do it forever. Enjoy it while you can

Bahet

Be VERY wary of any book or "doctor" or anecdotes about people who "trained" their 3mo to sleep through the night. They didn't. What they did was train the baby that no one is there for them and they are on their own. The baby gave up on having their needs met. It's cruel. Oh sure, some kids will be just fine. Some kids of crack *kitten* go on to be college graduates too. That doesn't mean a crack *kitten* is a good mother.

Babies don't "cry just to cry" anymore than an adult cries just to cry. It's their only means of communication. They can't scratch their leg if it itches or say "Mommy, my tummy hurts." That doesn't mean they need to co-sleep or even sleep in the same room. Neither of our boys did. I tried to co-sleep with kid1 for 2 nights. I didn't get a bit of sleep. Everythiem hubby or baby moved I jolted awake. I was worried I'd roll onto him, hubby would roll onto him, the cat would jump up on him, the blanket would smother him, etc. By the 3rd day I was disoriented and borderline hallucinating I was so exhausted. I put him in his crib that night and we all slept much better after that.

crisnis

Be VERY wary of any book or "doctor" or anecdotes about people who "trained" their 3mo to sleep through the night. They didn't. What they did was train the baby that no one is there for them and they are on their own. The baby gave up on having their needs met. It's cruel. Oh sure, some kids will be just fine. Some kids of crack *kitten* go on to be college graduates too. That doesn't mean a crack *kitten* is a good mother.

Babies don't "cry just to cry" anymore than an adult cries just to cry. It's their only means of communication. They can't scratch their leg if it itches or say "Mommy, my tummy hurts." That doesn't mean they need to co-sleep or even sleep in the same room. Neither of our boys did. I tried to co-sleep with kid1 for 2 nights. I didn't get a bit of sleep. Everythiem hubby or baby moved I jolted awake. I was worried I'd roll onto him, hubby would roll onto him, the cat would jump up on him, the blanket would smother him, etc. By the 3rd day I was disoriented and borderline hallucinating I was so exhausted. I put him in his crib that night and we all slept much better after that.

She isn't asking how to get her baby to sleep throught the night, she is asking how to get her child to fall asleep on her own... very different. I think relating parents that allow their children to learn to self sooth to crack *kitten* is a bit extreme - there are many ways to parent successfully.

PS - many 3 month olds are large enough to sleep through the night (6-7 hours) without feeding. There is no cookie cutter way to parent every baby.

frugalmomsrock

Some of these responses are scaring me and making me very sad for many babies....

many.

http://www.drmomma.org/2010/02/sleep-training-higher-stress-lower.html

http://urbanext.illinois.edu/baby/whenwillbaby.cfm

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/science-says-excessive-crying-could-be-harmful


My babies have all been held almost constantly for the first six months (except their daily tummy time and occasional moments when I'd lie them down during a sleep so I could get a few things done around the house), and they are the most independent, well adjusted children. I see other kids that are clingy and scared half to death to let their parents get two feet from them. I'm sure those are children who weren't held enough as teeny tiny babies. They are afraid if their parent gets too far away, they may not respond to them. *smh*

http://www.kidsdevelopment.co.uk/BabiesAttention.html

http://ezinearticles.com/?Night-Feedings-by-Age-and-When-to-Night-Wean-a-Baby&id=4568956

Captain_Mal

And don't know if you swaddle or not but this is a lifesaver and works, WONDERS!



Halo sleep sack. Invest in one if you don't have one, like go right now!

Like minds think alike...I was just about to post this exact one. Trust me, swaddling helps. I would also suggest some ambient music and some sort of soft night light. I noticed with my children in their baby years would sleep better and go to sleep better when I was breastfeeding but when I switched over to formula it caused some of those wonderful crying forever nights. Not sure if that's really related but just throwing it out there.

Swaddling or sleep sack, music or even a children's story, and mood lighting are all worth a try.

coppercurlz

Two months is really young to expect a lot in the sleep department. You asked for ideas/opinions though: So mine is that at this point, I would keep experimenting outside of the "cry it out" department. Pick your battle - save that one for when you need it, and I wouldn't think a 2 month old is ready for the "cry it out". Every kid/parent is different though! At 2 months, this is the time to experiment in what makes you/baby/daddy the happiest - get to know what soothes your new little family member!

If it's co-sleeping, rocking, using a binkie, swaddling, whatever. Do whatever you have to do to keep the peace...be creative It pays off. Sleep is CRUCIAL to everyone's well-being. Yours, the babies, the dad's. Life feels a lot better when everyone is rested. I vote for creativity over crying it out. Use your new mommy-senses to feel your way through this, take a deep breath and trust yourself!

Congrats, by the way

betam

As quite a few people have already said every parent goes about this differently. For me I kept my son, he's nine months old now, in his bassinet for 6 weeks and put him in his crib when I went back to work. He did not like it at first because it was different but now hates sleeping anywhere else. Do you have a mattress pad? It could be a difference of how comfortable your child is. It certainly was for my son. Also don't start a routine i.e. rocking, having them sleep with you, etc unless your willing to do it until they are 2 years to 4 years old. My brother-in-law's child is 5 and they can't seem to get her to go the whole night without climbing in bed with them. I wouldn't want to set a precedent of taking your child to bed with you unless it is something you would like to do. All that being said, when Alan would cry when I put him down for a nap/for the night I did the same things, changed his diaper, cuddled him, etc and then laid him down. If he started crying I would go in and check on him, not picking him up, I would rub his hair (it seemed to soothe him) give him his binkie, and leave the room. If he continued to cry I would wait a few minutes, go back in and repeat. And so on and so forth for longer and longer times of waiting. I think he maybe only once or twice went more than three checks. I know it's hard but it gets easier. I think the hardest part for me to realize was not every cry meant feed me. I highly suggest finding a schedule/routine that works for your baby and stick with it. It really pays off in the long run. And again, it really does get easier, I didn't think I was going to survive that first week.

xtinalovexo

Be VERY wary of any book or "doctor" or anecdotes about people who "trained" their 3mo to sleep through the night. They didn't. What they did was train the baby that no one is there for them and they are on their own. The baby gave up on having their needs met. It's cruel. Oh sure, some kids will be just fine. Some kids of crack *kitten* go on to be college graduates too. That doesn't mean a crack *kitten* is a good mother.

Babies don't "cry just to cry" anymore than an adult cries just to cry. It's their only means of communication. They can't scratch their leg if it itches or say "Mommy, my tummy hurts." That doesn't mean they need to co-sleep or even sleep in the same room. Neither of our boys did. I tried to co-sleep with kid1 for 2 nights. I didn't get a bit of sleep. Everythiem hubby or baby moved I jolted awake. I was worried I'd roll onto him, hubby would roll onto him, the cat would jump up on him, the blanket would smother him, etc. By the 3rd day I was disoriented and borderline hallucinating I was so exhausted. I put him in his crib that night and we all slept much better after that.

my 3 month old slept from 12am- 7am daily and i am not a "crack *kitten*". :laugh:

betam

Oh and I almost completely forgot the most important thing I did/do as soon as your baby shows a sleep "cue" yawning, rubbing the eyes, even a sleepy look, stick them in bed!!!!! Seriously, babies need lots of sleep and it really helps if you put your baby asleep while they are still awake but sleepy. Not when they are overtired. They will cry more and fight harder because they are tired and don't know how to put themselves to sleep yet. My sister once told me the best thing I could ever do was help my child learn how to soothe themselves.

Being2befit

what i love to do to my baby nephew is wrap me in blanket...and stand up and hold him and rock him in my arms within mins he is sleeping...but i still keep him in my arms for another 20mins than lay him down and rock the crib a little he was like that to with his crib his mommy was stressed! and since im pregnant i wanna get experience lol so i offered to help with him! so far he likes me!! good luck hun!

ABeautifulDistraction

I have 4 children aged 20 down to 19 months. I am a FIRM believer the more a baby is held and spoken to and cuddled, the more they thrive. Swaddling is excellent. As young as your daughter is, being put in the crib could scare her. Bassinets are small enclosures, cribs are openly huge in comparison.

Yahoo published an article today on the very subject of the cry-it-out debate. Here is the link: http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/crying-dangerous-kids-one-expert-says-222400379.html

There were more than a few occasions where I was so glad I checked on my children when they 'should have been sleeping'. I have never regretted being close to them or soothing them. That point of childhood does not last long. I could never allow an infant to cry for a 30 minute stretch alone in a room, especially if the crying intensified. That is a signal of true distress. To me its simply cruel.

bcampbell54

Two-months is too young for the tough love approach. You are a slave to these little bundles of id. Best bet is to let her fall asleep in your bed, then slip her into her bed, so she will get used to waking up there.
I'm on my fourth kid; they are each different, but once you have one, they are your boss.

flgirlsteph

At the age she mostly just needs your attention. Have you tried putting her bassinet next to your bed so you can stick your hand in there to comfort her with your touch and smell. My son didnt go to his crib until he was 4 or 5 months old. Hes 2 now and sleeps amazingly. He was always a good sleeper but he didnt like to be far away from me. Not to mention sids I wouldnt let him get very far from my hearing distance. I feel I did the right thing in doing this with my son. I will also do this with the baby im due with in july. I'm not for tough love really. Not at this stage. Ive worked in daycares and know how hard it can be. I used to have 8 infants and I got them all on a schedule. Maybe theres some other reason (colic,etc.) Causing her to be fussing when laid down. is she gassy? Mylicon works wonders and so does gripe water.

flgirlsteph

Two-months is too young for the tough love approach. You are a slave to these little bundles of id. Best bet is to let her fall asleep in your bed, then slip her into her bed, so she will get used to waking up there.
I'm on my fourth kid; they are each different, but once you have one, they are your boss.

This^

kapeluza

Two-months is too young for the tough love approach. You are a slave to these little bundles of id. Best bet is to let her fall asleep in your bed, then slip her into her bed, so she will get used to waking up there.
I'm on my fourth kid; they are each different, but once you have one, they are your boss.

Agreed.

annameier8706

I have to say... at two months, you should just hold her and love her and hold her and love her until she gets to sleep and work on sleep training later. A child this young absolutely does not have the mindset to manipulate you. What she craves is human affection and an attachment to you-which she will gain by you holding her a lot. Enjoy her and hold her as much as you can now-before long, she won't want you because she'll want to explore!!

I'm a fan of crying it out, but i agree with this. She is FAR to young for it to be goo for her.