Wow I really dont want to hear that

rainbowbuggy

I do understand that they have their own insecurities and body image issues. The worst to me is when I went shopping with a girlfriend who weighed 118 at 5'7", had to get a size 2 pants, and said "ugh! Im so fat" I was in a 24 at the time. I snapped. I said "while I get that you may feel bad because you had a whole meal today and have to wear a size 2, but there is no number before OR after that 2 and it really makes me feel like $#!+ when you say things like that. We are in a store that I cant even buy a pair of socks for and you are upset that you have to wear almost the smallest size". It just really made me angry.

This is so very true! Its rude and hurtful. When you know in you heart of hearts your not fat yet your trying to find a way to hurt someones feelings just to make you feel better...its rude. Sorry this happened to you. You look AWESOME! great work!

rainbowbuggy

I have a friend that is a stripper and model and she says that *kitten* all the time. Makes me super frustrated. I mean, if you are getting paid to expose yourself, you probably look good. Realistically (I know there are some cases of plus size models and strippers but it's pretty rare), you wouldn't be a model if you were fat.

I love your tattoos! They are gorgeous!!!

rainbowbuggy

I have a friend that is a stripper and model and she says that *kitten* all the time. Makes me super frustrated. I mean, if you are getting paid to expose yourself, you probably look good. Realistically (I know there are some cases of plus size models and strippers but it's pretty rare), you wouldn't be a model if you were fat.

I love your tattoos! They are gorgeous!!!

jenn_is_trouble

I have a friend that is a stripper and model and she says that *kitten* all the time. Makes me super frustrated. I mean, if you are getting paid to expose yourself, you probably look good. Realistically (I know there are some cases of plus size models and strippers but it's pretty rare), you wouldn't be a model if you were fat.

I love your tattoos! They are gorgeous!!!

Thank you!

ShandiH

I do understand that they have their own insecurities and body image issues. The worst to me is when I went shopping with a girlfriend who weighed 118 at 5'7", had to get a size 2 pants, and said "ugh! Im so fat" I was in a 24 at the time. I snapped. I said "while I get that you may feel bad because you had a whole meal today and have to wear a size 2, but there is no number before OR after that 2 and it really makes me feel like $#!+ when you say things like that. We are in a store that I cant even buy a pair of socks for and you are upset that you have to wear almost the smallest size". It just really made me angry.

Wow. What was her reaction?

galegetsthin

She just looked at me for a minute. Later, I more calmly explained that since she did have to go up a size, I understand how that relates in her mind as "fat", but to try and be a little more cognizant of the fact that there is a person beside you that makes up almost 3 of you. And I asked her to not invite me clothes shopping with her since it tended to upset me so much. Even if my sensitivity was my own issue, it was an issue and we should avoid that scenario. She understood and never did it again and made sure to complement me on my losses along the way.

chevy88grl

I weigh 145lbs. When I look in the mirror, I see the flaws and issues I have with MY body. I have days when I feel like a fat whale.

Being thin doesn't guarantee happiness with ones body. You can be 100, 130, 180lbs and have body issues. When I look in the mirror and see my flaws, I'm not thinking about you or anyone else. I don't give a hoot what someone else weighs and I don't give a hoot what someone else looks like - I care about what *I* see in the mirror and if I'm not happy with it - it doesn't matter what the scale says.

I'll be honest... it annoys me when people comment about how someone else sees THEIR body. I don't care if you weigh 130 or 230, you can still have issues with how you look. Stop assuming that being 130lbs solves all the body image issues.

I didnt mean to apply that if you are a certain weight it solves anything.

I was talking about making the statement.

I know there are females out there who have body complexs and all weights.

And some who dont at all weights.

But why WHY must these girls say "Oh i'm so fat" It just bothers me.

On the same hand it bothers me when fat people say it too while their eat their ho ho's.

But thats a different subject.

Maybe because when they look in the mirror? THEY SEE FAT. I'm not saying that some of them aren't fishing for compliments, but I'm guessing that a certain percent of them really DO think they are fat!

bcattoes

Fat is a relative term. I can remember when I hit 130 and thought OMG, I am a whale. I had never weighed that much before except when I was pregnant so it seemed fat to me at the time.

stylistchik

I do understand that they have their own insecurities and body image issues. The worst to me is when I went shopping with a girlfriend who weighed 118 at 5'7", had to get a size 2 pants, and said "ugh! Im so fat" I was in a 24 at the time. I snapped. I said "while I get that you may feel bad because you had a whole meal today and have to wear a size 2, but there is no number before OR after that 2 and it really makes me feel like $#!+ when you say things like that. We are in a store that I cant even buy a pair of socks for and you are upset that you have to wear almost the smallest size". It just really made me angry.

I avoid going shopping with anyone but my sister for this reason. I am 5'2 and wear sizes on the small end. It never fails that if I go shopping with larger friends they make comments about how I'm "so skinny" and how they "hate people who are a size __" but it's just as hurtful to hear those things. I've struggled with my body image for years and I'm finally coming to peace with my body and when those things are said it just brings me back to how I felt as a teenager, starving myself thinking people would like me better if I was "beautiful." It goes both ways.

seehawkmomma

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I avoid going shopping with anyone but my sister for this reason. I am 5'2 and wear sizes on the small end. It never fails that if I go shopping with larger friends they make comments about how I'm "so skinny" and how they "hate people who are a size __" but it's just as hurtful to hear those things. I've struggled with my body image for years and I'm finally coming to peace with my body and when those things are said it just brings me back to how I felt as a teenager, starving myself thinking people would like me better if I was "beautiful." It goes both ways.
[/quote]

I think that your beautiful too. I am glad you see that. And it sucks that you cant go shopping with your friends.

Come here I'd love someone to go shopping with

atay18

I'm 5'7'' and currently 128 lbs. I weigh myself everyday as a way to keep myself in check and lately have been finding that though I'm not 'fat' by any means, I feel 'fat'. Why? Because I haven't been working out as much these past weeks and the holiday parties are taking a toll. My muscles have turned into flab and I'm unsatisfied with how I look and feel. That is what I mean when I say "i feel fat". This is also usually followed by a increase the intensity of my workouts.

But I would NEVER say that in front of someone else unless I know their whole body image story because I know that those statements can be offensive. I can only say that in front of certain people (my husband, workout buddy, etc) and would in no way say that in front of a friend that I know has struggled with weight loss. To me, that is just rude. So while, I understand your point, I'd just like you to know that some skinny people have bad days, weeks, months too, and maybe are looking for support in the same way that you might. Though, some skinny people are just attention-seeking a*holes.

love22step

A buck 30 is where I want to be, but for some young women with small frames, that would be a bit on the fat side. To avoid being rude, that's a thought she should avoid expressing in front of someone with more severe weight issues. At 12 lbs. from my goal, I'm reaching the point where people are telling me I need to stop losing, and I find that rather annoying. I could show them the fat stores I'm still carrying and need to shed, but I'd rather they take my word for it.

shiseido_faerie

Fat is a relative term. I can remember when I hit 130 and thought OMG, I am a whale. I had never weighed that much before except when I was pregnant so it seemed fat to me at the time.

I agree with this
I'm 5'2 and 130, this is the heaviest i've ever been in my life and I gained about 15-20lbs in just the last two years (it is my fault, the result of taking a desk job and not adjusting my eating/working out to accommodate it), so I do have days where I look in the mirror and think...oh my gosh is that me?? I don't think i'm "fat", but my body has definitely changed in ways that i'm not happy with, and I have days where I am uncomfortable in it and I feel like my clothes don't fit right. I don't think I necessarily have to get back down to the 110-115 that I was before, but I do feel I need to stop the weight gain from progressing and become more active to tone up the areas that I don't like. I do understand where you're coming from, I have friends who are the size I was previously AND are taller than I am who say they're fat. I just wanted to offer my perspective as someone who is that weight.

seehawkmomma

Sorry but 5'2 and 130 (TO ME) is not fat.

By any means. And if you are usually 115 that would put a LITTLE over weight.

I wouldnt go to the extreme to say FAT.

Again thats just me.

And I know women have issues with their bodies. But again i was trying to say that the statement in general.

I am not attacking women and their self image.

LavenderBouquet

I've noticed most people who say that in a "woe is me" kind of way are normally just fishing for compliments. So don't give it to them by saying "Oh no you're not fat!"... tell them "I thought you put on some weight".

I don't know if that's necessarily true. I also don't think insulting someone would be the answer.

kenzietea

I am 5'2" and weigh 100 pounds. I find that I see women who weigh 15 or 30 pounds more than me do not look as undesirable as I see myself. I have struggled with body image issues since I was 8 years old and have had eating disorders. It is annoying that I see myself fat, as well, because the number doesn't match the way I see myself. I would love to have normal thoughts.

^^ this..
You never know how they are feeling. But I do see how it can be annoying! lol

SassyCalyGirl

I get that people see their flaws. I do too. I see my flaws all the time and judge myself for them.

But if I was to weigh 120lbs and was sitting next to a girl who was clearly over weight I would think to have the restraint to refrain from calling myself FAT in random converstation.

If this was a friend I would of course be supportive. But I also find it rude.

lets reverse that situation. Say a "clearly over weight" person is sitting next to someone that weighed 120lbs and was complaining about HER weight......do you think that might make the 120 lb person uncomfortable as well? Total double standard as I see it. EVERYONE has the right to talk about whatever they want-if someone doesn't like it, they can always walk away.

shiseido_faerie

Sorry but 5'2 and 130 (TO ME) is not fat.

By any means. And if you are usually 115 that would put a LITTLE over weight.

I wouldnt go to the extreme to say FAT.

Again thats just me.

And I know women have issues with their bodies. But again i was trying to say that the statement in general.

I am not attacking women and their self image.

I didn't take it as an attack at all I knew you were speaking in general, just offering my perspective as someone who fit into that group. I don't think I am fat by any means, I just have areas of my body that I have been happier with, I think most people do.

mysteria_

It's all relative... I've been known to call myself the F-WORD before, because I have been lazy and gained a lot of flab... and I understand I am not overweight. But it's enough for me to feel unhealthy and lazy, which translates to just saying "UGH, FAT."

I do know better than to make comments like that to ladies who are bigger than myself.... because I don't want to indirectly insult them. But in reality how I feel about myself does not reflect anything on how I feel others look... some of my friends are overweight and I find them to be beautiful and NOT "fat" at all. They have gorgeous bodies and are beautiful with their curves and all.

It's just that for myself, I am very critical and very conscious of EVERY little problem... not to mention, I don't carry my weight well at all. I get it all in the gut and that's it :P

GoCanada

I've noticed most people who say that in a "woe is me" kind of way are normally just fishing for compliments. So don't give it to them by saying "Oh no you're not fat!"... tell them "I thought you put on some weight".

That's just mean. Think about about all of the people here who are working hard and maybe had an off day and said a side comment. Or someone who maybe has an eating disorder and is just used to thinking that about themselves and then you go say something like that. Even if it's attention seeking it's better to just leave it alone and say nothing then do something that could be potentially harmful for their motivation/psyche.

There's also other ways to deal with it. My sister has always been super thin and says comments like that, and I know that in her head she probably feels like they're truthful. I deal/dealing with an ED and her doing that kinds of sets me off about myself, but I would NEVER respond with what you said... I instead told her that that's hard for me to hear when I've always struggled with my weight and am larger than her, and it makes me feel really ****ty. At least she understands where I'm coming from rather than just putting her down.

Also, I'm just over 130 lbs. and I have my fat days. Some are to do with my ED and some are to do with just being lazy generally, or eating the wrong foods and feeling gross. As well I'm rather short (5'4), and even at 130 carry fat in unwanted places (especially after having my son). So. Just thought I'd respond.