Wow I really dont want to hear that

AnninStPaul

I've noticed most people who say that in a "woe is me" kind of way are normally just fishing for compliments. So don't give it to them by saying "Oh no you're not fat!"... tell them "I thought you put on some weight".

Agreed!

seehawkmomma

Okay Okay

So let me explain just a wee bit further(which I should have done in the first place)

First off this is just a VENT. This is how I FEEL.

So I'm eatting my cuccumber snack the girl I work with comes up to me and says "omg I need to start eatting healthier too I'm soooooo fat" than I see her walk back to her desk with a bag of chips.

Okay so A: I dont think its a stab at me. B: I think its insanely rude.

If she thinks shes fat than thats her business! Why does she need to say this in front of me? I am clearly trying to eat healthier and get to a better weight. It possible for a woman to keep that those kind of comments to her self? Or save it for her friends who understand where she is coming from?

mzkynd

My response to ANYONE who makes negative comments regarding their weight, body or heck, mental state is "So, whatcha gonna do about it?". It's not my job to own their comments.

3 this!!

Silverkittycat

If she thinks shes fat than thats her business! Why does she need to say this in front of me? I am clearly trying to eat healthier and get to a better weight. It possible for a woman to keep that those kind of comments to her self? Or save it for her friends who understand where she is coming from?

:huh:
You're not keeping your comments to yourself.

Thanks for sharing?

seehawkmomma

If she thinks shes fat than thats her business! Why does she need to say this in front of me? I am clearly trying to eat healthier and get to a better weight. It possible for a woman to keep that those kind of comments to her self? Or save it for her friends who understand where she is coming from?

:huh:
You're not keeping your comments to yourself.

Thanks for sharing?

I meant in the real world. I am not sitting next her every day saying how fat I am while i eat chips, fast food, and ho ho's.

I posted to vent. In a place where I thought I'd be able to.

Like i said previously I think those comments should be saved for someone who can understand where you are coming from. There are more than a few ladies on here can see where I am coming from.

For the other who cant well they dont. But I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way.

seehawkmomma

[/quote]
Most people probably weigh more than your left foot. Just sayin.
[/quote]

Phew glad someone caught that one

FaithHopeBELIEVE

Totally fishing for compliments, in my opinion.

My latest pet peeve is seeing celebrities who are a bit heavy say they are some ridiculously tiny size, when I know I am smaller than them, and am in a MUCH bigger size. Puh-LEEZE!

This! I have so thought the same thing about celebrities! I'm always like there is no way you are in that size. Unless they have different sizes in Hollywood.

seehawkmomma

Totally fishing for compliments, in my opinion.

My latest pet peeve is seeing celebrities who are a bit heavy say they are some ridiculously tiny size, when I know I am smaller than them, and am in a MUCH bigger size. Puh-LEEZE!

This! I have so thought the same thing about celebrities! I'm always like there is no way you are in that size. Unless they have different sizes in Hollywood.

Did you guys hear about Jessica Simpson? Well a few years ago Jenny Craig asked her to be the spokes person and she declined saying that she loved her body. And that was when she was a wee bit chubbier. And now that she has lost that weight they are asking her again.

I think the whole Hollywood World is bit off balance.

justanotherbrickinthewall

Lots of people struggle with body image. Just because you find someone thin, doesn't mean they find themselves to be skinny. Most of the people who say this AREN'T fishing for compliments, just saying.

mysteria_

I posted to vent. In a place where I thought I'd be able to.

Like i said previously I think those comments should be saved for someone who can understand where you are coming from. There are more than a few ladies on here can see where I am coming from.

For the other who cant well they dont. But I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way.

If you can vent then so can everyone else.

mysteria_

Lots of people struggle with body image. Just because you find someone thin, doesn't mean they find themselves to be skinny. Most of the people who say this AREN'T fishing for compliments, just saying.

This is VERY true.

SyntonicGarden

Some of the responses to your initial post were grossly inappropriate. I don't think what you said warranted that much anger towards you. It's your opinion and yeah, you were venting. I completely agree with you that it's frustrating at times, especially when I've hit a plateau (now) and my 115 lb friend grabs the tummy flab that I don't see and complains about how she needs to hit the gym. **sigh**

I try not to blame these gals for their poor body image and low self esteem. A woman's poor body image is probably coming from external sources that just feed into her own insecurities.

If blame needs to be placed, then blame belongs to the media and all of the enhanced, airbrushed models in magazines and whatnot. (Go to Youtube and look up the words Dove Evolution. It's amazing, if you haven't seen it.)

I blame it on athletic teams (like cheerleaders or kickline) that pressure girls to weigh in before games. (If you're a few pounds over by Thursday, you starve yourself before weighing in again on Saturday, taking care to eat only a banana so your potassium levels don't drop to lethal levels. "You're too fat. Here's a banana. Don't die, because it'll mess up the routine. Thanks!")

I blame it on the a**hats who make and sell women's clothing suitable only for 10 year old boys, sacks of potatoes, or women with hourly rates. I have yet to meet a woman who can fit beautifully and confidently into a pair of non-elasticized waist pants. Most women I know have one of two problems: Muffin top over the waistband but have no butt to fill the pants or so much extra waistband, that even with a belt, there's still room to carry several bottles of wine and a picnic lunch. (MC Hammer called. He wants his ill-fitting baggy pants back.)

I also blame it on unsupportive family members or spouses. I had an ex who called me chubby at 125 lbs. That's part of the reason he's an ex. I eventually found an extra 25 to keep those initial 125 lbs company. It was about 12 lbs more than I wanted, so I'm working on a happy medium.

There's currently more than a 14" difference in circumference between my waist and my hips and it's soul crushing to have to go clothes shopping because the clothes usually go back on the rack. It's either the up-to-above-the-knee shuffle or the can't-pull-it-over-the-hips hop. So my family doc told me to lose weight, my family thinks I'm anorexic because of how I've learned to hide the weight, and my husband (and the occasional gaggle of guys at the mall) has an appreciation for my curves.

So basically, I say don't let the really thin gals comments about themselves bug you so much. Their comments are about themselves. They're most likely an internal reflection, deeply rooted in low self-esteem, fostered and perpetuated by unhealthy sources. Wish that they get help and move on with your day. Focus on yourself and make yourself the happiest, healthiest, sexiest, whatever-ist you think you should be!

(And then tell the rest of us how you did it, because we'll be here rooting for you!)

seehawkmomma

I blame it on athletic teams (like cheerleaders or kickline) that pressure girls to weigh in before games. (If you're a few pounds over by Thursday, you starve yourself before weighing in again on Saturday, taking care to eat only a banana so your potassium levels don't drop to lethal levels. "You're too fat. Here's a banana. Don't die, because it'll mess up the routine. Thanks!")

(And then tell the rest of us how you did it, because we'll be here rooting for you!)

If I could hug you right now I would

Thanks

jenn_is_trouble

Some of the responses to your initial post were grossly inappropriate. I don't think what you said warranted that much anger towards you. It's your opinion and yeah, you were venting. I completely agree with you that it's frustrating at times, especially when I've hit a plateau (now) and my 115 lb friend grabs the tummy flab that I don't see and complains about how she needs to hit the gym. **sigh**

I try not to blame these gals for their poor body image and low self esteem. A woman's poor body image is probably coming from external sources that just feed into her own insecurities.

If blame needs to be placed, then blame belongs to the media and all of the enhanced, airbrushed models in magazines and whatnot. (Go to Youtube and look up the words Dove Evolution. It's amazing, if you haven't seen it.)

I blame it on athletic teams (like cheerleaders or kickline) that pressure girls to weigh in before games. (If you're a few pounds over by Thursday, you starve yourself before weighing in again on Saturday, taking care to eat only a banana so your potassium levels don't drop to lethal levels. "You're too fat. Here's a banana. Don't die, because it'll mess up the routine. Thanks!")

I blame it on the a**hats who make and sell women's clothing suitable only for 10 year old boys, sacks of potatoes, or women with hourly rates. I have yet to meet a woman who can fit beautifully and confidently into a pair of non-elasticized waist pants. Most women I know have one of two problems: Muffin top over the waistband but have no butt to fill the pants or so much extra waistband, that even with a belt, there's still room to carry several bottles of wine and a picnic lunch. (MC Hammer called. He wants his ill-fitting baggy pants back.)

I also blame it on unsupportive family members or spouses. I had an ex who called me chubby at 125 lbs. That's part of the reason he's an ex. I eventually found an extra 25 to keep those initial 125 lbs company. It was about 12 lbs more than I wanted, so I'm working on a happy medium.

There's currently more than a 14" difference in circumference between my waist and my hips and it's soul crushing to have to go clothes shopping because the clothes usually go back on the rack. It's either the up-to-above-the-knee shuffle or the can't-pull-it-over-the-hips hop. So my family doc told me to lose weight, my family thinks I'm anorexic because of how I've learned to hide the weight, and my husband (and the occasional gaggle of guys at the mall) has an appreciation for my curves.

So basically, I say don't let the really thin gals comments about themselves bug you so much. Their comments are about themselves. They're most likely an internal reflection, deeply rooted in low self-esteem, fostered and perpetuated by unhealthy sources. Wish that they get help and move on with your day. Focus on yourself and make yourself the happiest, healthiest, sexiest, whatever-ist you think you should be!

(And then tell the rest of us how you did it, because we'll be here rooting for you!)

BRAVO! VERY Well said

honeysprinkles

Okay Okay

So let me explain just a wee bit further(which I should have done in the first place)

First off this is just a VENT. This is how I FEEL.

So I'm eatting my cuccumber snack the girl I work with comes up to me and says "omg I need to start eatting healthier too I'm soooooo fat" than I see her walk back to her desk with a bag of chips.

Okay so A: I dont think its a stab at me. B: I think its insanely rude.

If she thinks shes fat than thats her business! Why does she need to say this in front of me? I am clearly trying to eat healthier and get to a better weight. It possible for a woman to keep that those kind of comments to her self? Or save it for her friends who understand where she is coming from?

I honestly don't understand what's rude about that? it's stupid and maybe annoying, sure, hearing people complain all the time who are unwilling to change, but what is rude?

I think it all comes down to worrying about yourself and your own body image and no one else's.

seehawkmomma

Okay Okay

So let me explain just a wee bit further(which I should have done in the first place)

First off this is just a VENT. This is how I FEEL.

So I'm eatting my cuccumber snack the girl I work with comes up to me and says "omg I need to start eatting healthier too I'm soooooo fat" than I see her walk back to her desk with a bag of chips.

Okay so A: I dont think its a stab at me. B: I think its insanely rude.

If she thinks shes fat than thats her business! Why does she need to say this in front of me? I am clearly trying to eat healthier and get to a better weight. It possible for a woman to keep that those kind of comments to her self? Or save it for her friends who understand where she is coming from?

I honestly don't understand what's rude about that? it's stupid and maybe annoying, sure, hearing people complain all the time who are unwilling to change, but what is rude?

I think it all comes down to worrying about yourself and your own body image and no one else's.

Okay, So she thinks shes fat but can walk to her desk and mow on chips? Like I hate judge that but if she wants to lose weight why not start by not eatting like that? (btw I see her eat. Like a lot. and I mean Kudos to her for being able to eat like a 300lb trucker and not gain weight, but I cant do that)

Yeah, I could "worry about myself" and I am. Hence me being on here. I am trying to be the best me that I can be. Maybe that doesnt bother you, but it bothered me.

I think it was rude. I think she could have gone on with her life WITHOUT saying that.

honeysprinkles

It's either the up-to-above-the-knee shuffle or the can't-pull-it-over-the-hips hop.

I love (and hate) that. So funny, but so true and frustrating!

love22step

Maybe we all need to practice being more sensitive toward others, regardless of whether we consider them fat or skinny or just right, and be less sensitive toward ourselves. Maybe we shouldn't discuss weight at all? Somehow, that doesn't seem right, either. Food for thought here, anyway (no calories in that).

SyntonicGarden

I forgot to add a little more insight.

A few years ago, I had the unfortunate displeasure of going for holiday lunch with some of the guys I worked with. Most of them were awesome and treated me like one of the guys. There was one guy who should've had his husband card revoked. I distinctly remember him saying...

"Every year, I make my wife put her wedding dress on to make sure it fits. I didn't marry a fat chick and I certainly don't intend to BE married to a fat chick. I bought her a treadmill, an elliptical, and a weight set, so she doesn't have any excuses not to fit into that <explicative> dress."

I met his wife at another friend's wedding. She had gained a little weight apparently and we all heard about it after the wedding. (In her elbow maybe? I dunno, because she was still stunning.) How this woman stayed married to this man is a mystery, a lost bet, or several chapters in a good psychological diagnostic statistical manual.

So again, there's no way of telling what people are dealing with or where they get their image of self from. She's probably so wrapped in her own stuff that she's not even thinking about what she's saying or what impact it might have.

withchaco

I live with a cousin my height, who fluctuates between 105-110 pounds... She hates her flabby belly/ legs and wants to lose weight. Doesn't bother me when she complains in front of me. They say you are your worst critic... She's just being harsh on herself. She does not judge others with the same standards. I don't think it's rude, particularly because she knows I'm not bothered by it.

Maybe we all need to practice being more sensitive toward others, regardless of whether we consider them fat or skinny or just right, and be less sensitive toward ourselves. Maybe we shouldn't discuss weight at all? Somehow, that doesn't seem right, either. Food for thought here, anyway (no calories in that).

IMHO, the heart of the matter is that for so many people (especially us women), their self esteem is WAY too heavily dependent on their weight/ body image. People need to learn to love and respect themselves regardless of how much they weigh, or what they look like. There is so much more to a person than their weight. People should be able to discuss their weight without feeling like they're being attacked.