Break up or make up?

seehawkmomma

As long as he is not hitting you or the baby I would say try to work together to a solution.

The kind of abuse she is describing can lead to more physical abuse. And if she truly wants to stay with him she should move out until he has changed to help prevent further abuse.


Just because he isnt physical with her(yet) doesnt mean what she is dealing with isnt harmful to her and her son.

Elizabeth_C34

Quite frankly, the advice about couple's counseling and leaving until he changes is poor. People have to change by their own free will. It won't happen if they don't want to do it even if you shove them into it, and that's the bottom line. If he hasn't made the changes by now, there's no point in waiting around for him to do so. She could be waiting her entire life away. Now, as far as her son is concerned, it would be best to get him into a stable and loving home even if Dad isn't around. I can tell you from experience as a child of a single mother that being with good people (grandparents, loving mother) and not having a dad around is a lot better than being around a craptastic father who is selfish, cruel, and neglectful.

My mom wasted years trying to "keep the peace" with my dad so he had the opportunity to come around, but he consistently neglected me, lied to me, and treated me like just a mistake he made. I'm now 27 years old and no longer speak to him at all. He's a toxic person in my life and ended up causing a lot of emotional damage to me and my siblings over the years.

Don't keep someone around who is going to hurt you or your son, verbally or in any other way. It's just not worth it.

wishingiwashis

That was my ex-husband when I was 18 and he was 20. The same situation but I got married when I was pregnant with our son. It finally got to the point where he threw me into a wall and dislocated my collar bone while our son slept beside me.
After I moved out he still wanted to get back together and kept reminding me of our son and how we belong together. It was very hard but it was for the best. I eventually found my husband after 3 years and he is my very best friend. Being with him showed me that what I had with my ex was lust and a love for a family for my son, not true love. My husband is wonderful to my oldest son and to our other two together. The best advice is to take your son and go, he doesn't need to witness this mental abuse and the father is obviously not mature enough to realize that he is losing the best thing that ever happened to him.
It took my ex about 4 years to realize what he lost out on and is now a decent weekend dad but nothing more but that is okay because my husband is an excellent dad to my oldest and has been for the past 15 years!
Put yourself first and the rest will follow, you deserve the best and so does your little boy! Good Luck!

NoExcuseTina

with just what you shared on here...LEAVE...as soon as physically possible (yesterday would be good)

these are signs of abuse and it will get worse (speaking from personal experience)

Moms3Kwa

YOU have to do what is best for you and your son. You are connected for life so hopefully regardless of what you decide to do you can co-parent. Good Luck!!! I hope you have a great support system with friends and family, it really helps!!!!