breastfeeding in public
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Frugalmomsrock, I would disagree with your sentiment that moms never "flop it all out." I do think they are rare, though. I think the amount of people who "flop it all out" is probably roughly the same as the amount of people who would have a problem with a mom discreetly nursing in public.
I BF my 3 children in public all of the time, in a very conservative (either a capital or lower case 'C' is apt there, if you kwim) area of the country and NEVER got even a dirty look. BUT a gal I was friends with at the time ALWAYS got dirty looks. Do you want to know why *I* think that was? SHE thought it was because all those ignorant a-holes couldn't deal with nursing. *I* (who constantly nursed in public with no issues) thought it was because while I was reasonably discreet, she pulled her shirt down under her breast, then picked up her baby, then latched on, then shot dirty looks around the room waiting for someone to complain. I think it was her dream to be in a big news story like this. Some people are just confrontational, or maybe looking to be part of a political firestorm, or who knows what else, KWIM? Look around the world, you can't tell me those people don't exist-- they do in every facet of life, including all the mommy-war issues.
In fact, a political statement is exactly what a nurse-in is. It's not about needing to feed baby right now, they show up for the express reason of making a political statement.
The truth is, I'm with them if the statement is "oh, my baby's hungry, I'm going to find a comfortable spot to feed her..." (comfortable spot=a bench somewhere, though I never "covered up" with a blanket, I'd kind of wrap one around, not a bathroom. This topic wasn't about a bathroom though, it was about a changing room, which you CAN'T tell me is worse than the FLOOR of a Target). I'm just not with them when the statement is "I'm going to nurse WHENever & WHEREever, and EFF YOU!!!" which is what these things are about. In my experience, no one (though I'm sure a rare few psychos) has a problem with the former, but very few people appreciate the latter. And I agree.
Feel free to claim to "call bull****" or whatever you want, but having spent the last 7 years solid of my life BFing, I don't think you can pass me off as an anti-BFing person who just doesn't get it.
:drinker: :flowerforyou: :drinker:0 -
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What an interesting thread...
I think that there are some extremist out there that have ruined this for all of the private and self conscious breastfeeding moms out there. No, I don't need to see your boob and toddler plopped on the table at the McDonald's because it's your right to feed your child! People need to be considerate and tactful - everyone has a right to their opinions. I can attest that breastfeeding in public can be done easily and privately - I breastfed both of my children and was told on more than on occasion by this person or that (in the mall, at a restaurant, or where ever) that they didn't even realize I was breastfeeding. I always did it tactfully and completely covered because regardless of how natural it is - it is my body and everybody doesn't need to see it. Sex is natural too - but I'll be damned if I want people doing that in front of my kids!
I'm going to keep saying this everytime someone makes the comparison. Because apparently it needs to be said.
Breastfeeding is not sex. It's not sexual. It's feeding a newborn.
If there are any more questions feel free to ask. Once again, just to clarify, breastfeeding is not a sexual act. Thank you.0 -
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I'm sorry, but I have to call bull *kitten* on this. You are 10 years my junior, and I am a BF mom who has gone out in groups of other BF moms; I teach a BF class for WIC and have mom groups through WIC, and I have never even seen a mom just "flop it all out" there for all to see...
yeah. I just have to call bull *kitten*. sorry. Most moms are freaking terrified to even try to nurse in public because of moronic views like the ones you've read here... and you're saying that you just see people all over the place whipping them out there.... give me a break.
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So because you are 10yrs older than me that means you've seen it all? Thats really ignorant for you to even imply.
And I didnt say "all over the place" but since I was a child I've seen women breast feed in public. Having a mother who is practically a hippy always tried to teach me to be tolerant of it. I understand women CAN be discreet. But if all the women were I dont think this would be an issue.0 -
Frugalmomsrock, I would disagree with your sentiment that moms never "flop it all out." I do think they are rare, though. I think the amount of people who "flop it all out" is probably roughly the same as the amount of people who would have a problem with a mom discreetly nursing in public.
I BF my 3 children in public all of the time, in a very conservative (either a capital or lower case 'C' is apt there, if you kwim) area of the country and NEVER got even a dirty look. BUT a gal I was friends with at the time ALWAYS got dirty looks. Do you want to know why *I* think that was? SHE thought it was because all those ignorant a-holes couldn't deal with nursing. *I* (who constantly nursed in public with no issues) thought it was because while I was reasonably discreet, she pulled her shirt down under her breast, then picked up her baby, then latched on, then shot dirty looks around the room waiting for someone to complain. I think it was her dream to be in a big news story like this. Some people are just confrontational, or maybe looking to be part of a political firestorm, or who knows what else, KWIM? Look around the world, you can't tell me those people don't exist-- they do in every facet of life, including all the mommy-war issues.
In fact, a political statement is exactly what a nurse-in is. It's not about needing to feed baby right now, they show up for the express reason of making a political statement.
The truth is, I'm with them if the statement is "oh, my baby's hungry, I'm going to find a comfortable spot to feed her..." (comfortable spot=a bench somewhere, though I never "covered up" with a blanket, I'd kind of wrap one around, not a bathroom. This topic wasn't about a bathroom though, it was about a changing room, which you CAN'T tell me is worse than the FLOOR of a Target). I'm just not with them when the statement is "I'm going to nurse WHENever & WHEREever, and EFF YOU!!!" which is what these things are about. In my experience, no one (though I'm sure a rare few psychos) has a problem with the former, but very few people appreciate the latter. And I agree.
Feel free to claim to "call bull****" or whatever you want, but having spent the last 7 years solid of my life BFing, I don't think you can pass me off as an anti-BFing person who just doesn't get it.
:drinker: :flowerforyou:0 -
Here's a fun story. I wore my babies in a wrap when they were little. When they were in there, you couldn't see much of them besides their feet. I could nurse them in there and walk around and it was great. I once was in the grocery store and my son got hungry, so I latched him on and continued about my business. You literally COULD NOT see anything. This woman came up to me and said hello to my daughter, and asked to see the baby. I tried to be polite and just told her he was sleeping, trying to save myself the explanation, but she grabbed the edge of the wrap and lifted it back so she could see him. She saw that he was nursing, and looked at me like I was disgusting. SHE invaded MY personal space, and then was offended that I was nursing in public. Bet you ten bucks she went home and talked about this gross lady in the grocery store who just whipped it out right there in the store for everyone to see, even though she wouldn't have seen a thing if she'd respected my personal space.
This is the problem. Too many times people get offended just because they're looking for a reason to be offended. This is why women hold nurse-ins. It's to break the taboo. Would I participate? No. But I get it.0 -
And as her mother I will say NO, however I will hope that because of her being raised to keep her body private age will want to all on her own. When they are old enough in my eyes to discuss those things we will!
I guess we have different opinions on when they are "old enough" to discuss these things. My 5-year-old knows what's appropriate for public viewing and what is not. She knows there are bad people out there. She knows that kissing is for grown-ups, and she knows where her private places are and that nobody is allowed to touch them. She knows that one day she will grow breasts, and that one day she will have a period, and that those things happen so that she can have and feed the babies that she will have one day if she wants to have them. She doesn't seem scarred. We talk about things in language that she can understand, and I believe that when she's of teh age to need to talk about sex, it will be good that we've opened this door now because it won't be such a taboo subject. There's none of this "I'll tell you when you're older" business. If she has a question, I answer it as best I can. I don't feel like it's in her best interest to wait until she comes home with her head full of wrong ideas she gleaned from conversations in the school cafeteria. Because those conversations happen. I'd rather she know the truth first so she won't be duped later.
I have had some of those discussions with her as well, I guess we are just a modest family. My family was not very modest growing up and as a teenager I wish is had more respect for my own body. I have just chosen to do things a little diffrent! You know a learn from your parents mistakes kind of thing.
My son has seen women breastfeeding covered before, but I have seen women just whip it out for the world to see. I just personally don't want my son to see a strangers breast hanging out while shopping.
I think breastfeeding is amazing and I did it as well, but I always covered up out of respect for others.0 -
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Don't forget that it's protests that can lead to the passing of new laws, the enforcement of ones in existence, or the refocus on ones in danger of being chipped away at. I'm not saying all protests are done in the best way to accomplish what people want, but it's good to remember that if it weren't for many women protesting in the past, we wouldn't enjoy the rights we have today. It's important to protect those rights, as they haven't been around all that long and are not ingrained in our society to the point where we can be completely complacent.0
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Although this may be an interesting thread, here's a tip everyone can use:
Learn to quote the ACTUAL post your responding to, and not the entire history!! Do you guys HAVE to get your response in so quickly that you have no time to delete previous quotes?!
For those with short-term memories, I apologise. For everyone else, this is annoying!!0 -
And as her mother I will say NO, however I will hope that because of her being raised to keep her body private age will want to all on her own. When they are old enough in my eyes to discuss those things we will!
I guess we have different opinions on when they are "old enough" to discuss these things. My 5-year-old knows what's appropriate for public viewing and what is not. She knows there are bad people out there. She knows that kissing is for grown-ups, and she knows where her private places are and that nobody is allowed to touch them. She knows that one day she will grow breasts, and that one day she will have a period, and that those things happen so that she can have and feed the babies that she will have one day if she wants to have them. She doesn't seem scarred. We talk about things in language that she can understand, and I believe that when she's of teh age to need to talk about sex, it will be good that we've opened this door now because it won't be such a taboo subject. There's none of this "I'll tell you when you're older" business. If she has a question, I answer it as best I can. I don't feel like it's in her best interest to wait until she comes home with her head full of wrong ideas she gleaned from conversations in the school cafeteria. Because those conversations happen. I'd rather she know the truth first so she won't be duped later.
I have had some of those discussions with her as well, I guess we are just a modest family. My family was not very modest growing up and as a teenager I wish is had more respect for my own body. I have just chosen to do things a little diffrent! You know a learn from your parents mistakes kind of thing.
My son has seen women breastfeeding covered before, but I have seen women just whip it out for the world to see. I just personally don't want my son to see a strangers breast hanging out while shopping.
I think breastfeeding is amazing and I did it as well, but I always covered up out of respect for others.
Do you really think that your lack of respect for your body was just because your family wasn't modest? It's just as likely for a child from a puritanical family to grow up and be promiscuous as it is for a child from a family that runs around naked in the house. The key is communication. I don't think it makes a difference whether or not they see you naked -- if you do'nt talk about it, they'll come up with their own ideas, and those ideas may or may not be what you want for them.
I do agree with you though that we learn from our parents and we try to correct anything we feel they didn't do right. Which is why I talk to my daughter about these things. Because I grew up feeling shame about my body and how it works, to the point that it took me a long time to be able to talk about my period with a doctor. My parents never talked to me about how babies are made or the changes my body would go through until I'd already gone through them. That was a big problem for me, not being able to ask those questions.0 -
My child sees me naked every day. HOLLA!0
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Just for the record, i breast fed and did it in public - fed both my kids that way til they were 6 months old and cutting teeth0
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I would like to agree in principle, but that's the road to a "you are pulling me out of context!" claim!Although this may be an interesting thread, here's a tip everyone can use:
Learn to quote the ACTUAL post your responding to, and not the entire history!! Do you guys HAVE to get your response in so quickly that you have no time to delete previous quotes?!
For those with short-term memories, I apologise. For everyone else, this is annoying!!0 -
So, Ryan, I was just thinking -- You have a 9-year-old and you don't want her?? to see breasts?
I was a C-cup at 9 and had my first period at 11. She may not be developing, but some of her friends are. She's seen and known more than you can imagine, unless you don't allow her friends.
My daughter and I talk about what is going to happen to her body. She has seen me in a bra and knows that changes will be happening to her body. We are both female though. The comment was more geared to my son, his father will discuss with him what changes will happen. He does not need to see a female breast for educational purposes at 7 not mine or anyone's for that matter.
I guess my whole point is that I should decide when my daughter or son will be exposed to body parts, not the lady in the store who whips out out for the whole world to see!0 -
And as her mother I will say NO, however I will hope that because of her being raised to keep her body private age will want to all on her own. When they are old enough in my eyes to discuss those things we will!
I guess we have different opinions on when they are "old enough" to discuss these things. My 5-year-old knows what's appropriate for public viewing and what is not. She knows there are bad people out there. She knows that kissing is for grown-ups, and she knows where her private places are and that nobody is allowed to touch them. She knows that one day she will grow breasts, and that one day she will have a period, and that those things happen so that she can have and feed the babies that she will have one day if she wants to have them. She doesn't seem scarred. We talk about things in language that she can understand, and I believe that when she's of teh age to need to talk about sex, it will be good that we've opened this door now because it won't be such a taboo subject. There's none of this "I'll tell you when you're older" business. If she has a question, I answer it as best I can. I don't feel like it's in her best interest to wait until she comes home with her head full of wrong ideas she gleaned from conversations in the school cafeteria. Because those conversations happen. I'd rather she know the truth first so she won't be duped later.
I have had some of those discussions with her as well, I guess we are just a modest family. My family was not very modest growing up and as a teenager I wish is had more respect for my own body. I have just chosen to do things a little diffrent! You know a learn from your parents mistakes kind of thing.
My son has seen women breastfeeding covered before, but I have seen women just whip it out for the world to see. I just personally don't want my son to see a strangers breast hanging out while shopping.
I think breastfeeding is amazing and I did it as well, but I always covered up out of respect for others.
Do you really think that your lack of respect for your body was just because your family wasn't modest? It's just as likely for a child from a puritanical family to grow up and be promiscuous as it is for a child from a family that runs around naked in the house. The key is communication. I don't think it makes a difference whether or not they see you naked -- if you do'nt talk about it, they'll come up with their own ideas, and those ideas may or may not be what you want for them.
I do agree with you though that we learn from our parents and we try to correct anything we feel they didn't do right. Which is why I talk to my daughter about these things. Because I grew up feeling shame about my body and how it works, to the point that it took me a long time to be able to talk about my period with a doctor. My parents never talked to me about how babies are made or the changes my body would go through until I'd already gone through them. That was a big problem for me, not being able to ask those questions.
So because you felt shame for your body you think showing tolerance to Exposureis acceptable?
I think dudes these days look like chicks with their tight pants and chicks look way to old because they arent covered up enough.
There are women out there (tons of women have posted that they have seen this peek over the last 20pages if you need to reference) that they have seen womens breasts. Why is it okay if there is a child attached to it?? that makes zero sense.0 -
So, Ryan, I was just thinking -- You have a 9-year-old and you don't want her?? to see breasts?
I was a C-cup at 9 and had my first period at 11. She may not be developing, but some of her friends are. She's seen and known more than you can imagine, unless you don't allow her friends.
My daughter and I talk about what is going to happen to her body. She has seen me in a bra and knows that changes will be happening to her body. We are both female though. The comment was more geared to my son, his father will discuss with him what changes will happen. He does not need to see a female breast for educational purposes at 7 not mine or anyone's for that matter.
I guess my whole point is that I should decide when my daughter or son will be exposed to body parts, not the lady in the store who whips out out for the whole world to see!
I agree.0 -
Living in NY you see folks in various stages of undress all the time (hello, Naked Cowboy anyone). but to be honest, I have never seen a breastfeeding woman ever just pop out her breast and start having her kid suckle at it. Every woman I've seen breast feeding in public has done it discretely with the little blanket cover her and the baby. I mean what's wrong with that?0
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Do you really think that your lack of respect for your body was just because your family wasn't modest? It's just as likely for a child from a puritanical family to grow up and be promiscuous as it is for a child from a family that runs around naked in the house. The key is communication. I don't think it makes a difference whether or not they see you naked -- if you do'nt talk about it, they'll come up with their own ideas, and those ideas may or may not be what you want for them.
I do agree with you though that we learn from our parents and we try to correct anything we feel they didn't do right. Which is why I talk to my daughter about these things. Because I grew up feeling shame about my body and how it works, to the point that it took me a long time to be able to talk about my period with a doctor. My parents never talked to me about how babies are made or the changes my body would go through until I'd already gone through them. That was a big problem for me, not being able to ask those questions.
So because you felt shame for your body you think showing tolerance to Exposureis acceptable?
I think dudes these days look like chicks with their tight pants and chicks look way to old because they arent covered up enough.
There are women out there (tons of women have posted that they have seen this peek over the last 20pages if you need to reference) that they have seen womens breasts. Why is it okay if there is a child attached to it?? that makes zero sense.
Exposure in public, no. Exposure around the house, yes. We're at home and we're family. Breastfeeding in public does not constitute "exposure." It's feeding a baby. You put it away when you're done with it.0 -
So, Ryan, I was just thinking -- You have a 9-year-old and you don't want her?? to see breasts?
I was a C-cup at 9 and had my first period at 11. She may not be developing, but some of her friends are. She's seen and known more than you can imagine, unless you don't allow her friends.
My daughter and I talk about what is going to happen to her body. She has seen me in a bra and knows that changes will be happening to her body. We are both female though. The comment was more geared to my son, his father will discuss with him what changes will happen. He does not need to see a female breast for educational purposes at 7 not mine or anyone's for that matter.
I guess my whole point is that I should decide when my daughter or son will be exposed to body parts, not the lady in the store who whips out out for the whole world to see!
And again we come back to the question: how many women have you really seen "whip it out for the whole world to see?" As many nursing moms as I've been around, I can honestly say I've never seen that, with the exception of my sister when I was with her in her own home, so that doesn't count. Most nursing moms are discreet. And if you happen to see one who isn't, and your child asks, you can simply tell them, "She's just feeding her baby. I fed you the same way." Easy peasy. Because any other answer makes it look like you think breastfeeding is gross, which clearly isn't the case since you did it yourself. So it's your job to clarify that for your kids.
Clearly if they're 9 and 7 (I think that's what you said) and they haven't seen it yet, it must not happen too often, so I don't know why you're so worried about it.0 -
So, Ryan, I was just thinking -- You have a 9-year-old and you don't want her?? to see breasts?
I was a C-cup at 9 and had my first period at 11. She may not be developing, but some of her friends are. She's seen and known more than you can imagine, unless you don't allow her friends.
My daughter and I talk about what is going to happen to her body. She has seen me in a bra and knows that changes will be happening to her body. We are both female though. The comment was more geared to my son, his father will discuss with him what changes will happen. He does not need to see a female breast for educational purposes at 7 not mine or anyone's for that matter.
I guess my whole point is that I should decide when my daughter or son will be exposed to body parts, not the lady in the store who whips out out for the whole world to see!
lol. I agree. I remember when I was in the Girl Scouts, my troop went to the pool as one of our field trips and this old woman decided it was ok to walk around completely naked and try to have conversations with us with everything out there. Our troop leaders politely guided us away but even now going to the gym I feel uncomfortable with women coming up to me having conversations while completely nude. Is that really necessary? what's wrong with a towel?0 -
No my son has not seen my boob before (I breast fed but no kid ever remembers that)!! That is sick
I beg to differ. When my now 6 year old was 4, she started a conversation out of the blue. She said to me, "Remember when you used to give me milk?" She weaned at 2 1/2, but 1 1/2 years later, she still remembered nursing. I asked her if she remembered what it was like. She said, "It tasted like 'I love you.'" Does that sound sick to you??
I am nursing my youngest and I have no problem with my 3 older children seeing it. In fact, I think it will help them understand what breasts are for and hopefully demystify them! Those who think breastfeeding (in public, in front of children, etc.) is sick or sexual are influenced by society/the media. Breasts are for feeding babies. Period.0 -
I asked her if she remembered what it was like. She said, "It tasted like 'I love you.'" Does that sound sick to you??
That is one of the sweetest things I've ever heard. 0 -
agreedI asked her if she remembered what it was like. She said, "It tasted like 'I love you.'" Does that sound sick to you??
That is one of the sweetest things I've ever heard. almost brought tears to my eyes 
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So, Ryan, I was just thinking -- You have a 9-year-old and you don't want her?? to see breasts?
I was a C-cup at 9 and had my first period at 11. She may not be developing, but some of her friends are. She's seen and known more than you can imagine, unless you don't allow her friends.
My daughter and I talk about what is going to happen to her body. She has seen me in a bra and knows that changes will be happening to her body. We are both female though. The comment was more geared to my son, his father will discuss with him what changes will happen. He does not need to see a female breast for educational purposes at 7 not mine or anyone's for that matter.
I guess my whole point is that I should decide when my daughter or son will be exposed to body parts, not the lady in the store who whips out out for the whole world to see!
lol. I agree. I remember when I was in the Girl Scouts, my troop went to the pool as one of our field trips and this old woman decided it was ok to walk around completely naked and try to have conversations with us with everything out there. Our troop leaders politely guided us away but even now going to the gym I feel uncomfortable with women coming up to me having conversations while completely nude. Is that really necessary? what's wrong with a towel?
That is entirely different from nursing in public. Nobody's talking about running around naked. We're talking about feeding a baby. There is, in fact, a big difference between the two.0 -
Sheltering kids never works anyway. They're smarter than you give them credit for. They know what boobs are. And yet miraculously they seem to cope without having their little heads blow right off...0
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I do think that if thise were true, this topic wouldn't be heated.Breasts are for feeding babies. Period.
In one sense, the breasts of mammals exist for feeding young, of course. In another sense-- look around the mammilian world. Humans have breasts that swell at maturity, and stay large our whole adult life, while other mammals have breasts that only swell when they are full of milk. Our breasts are large BECAUSE they were sexually selected to, as a sexual attractant. There's really no denying that, as convenient as it seems to say that they are only for milk.0 -
Cheers to all the nursing moms!
I nursed my three babies, often in public. Breastfeeding babies do not follow a strict schedule like bottle-fed babies often do. It is harder to predict when and where they will need to eat. Sometimes it's when you are in a restaurant, even if they just ate 30 minutes ago. It just happens. Be kind to the nursing moms!
I almost always used a nursing cover or blanket. But every once in a while, I had to feed the baby without one. It's still possible to stay pretty well covered up. Truthfully, I was more worried that someone would see my back/side fat than my breast, lol.
Also, babies sometimes get to a point where they won't leave the blanket there. It also can make it harder to get the baby in the right position, which causes stress, which leads to less milk, which leads to a crying, frustrated baby. You learn to do what you have to do to get the baby calm and fed.
I was never met with anything other than support and smiles from folks who happened to notice that I was nursing a baby. Please help to keep things this way for all the nursing moms, what they are doing isn't always easy!0 -
I dont think theres anything wroung with breast feeding in public im only 18 but out of every person ive ever noticed breast feeding there very discret about it and most the time you dont notice, at least i havent like women will do it and i wont notice, no one is ever like just having it hang out, either way dont men always have there shirts offf? no one says anything about that. if a women needs to feed her child then let her. dont look if you have a problem with it just continue with your day0
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I do think that if thise were true, this topic wouldn't be heated.Breasts are for feeding babies. Period.
In one sense, the breasts of mammals exist for feeding young, of course. In another sense-- look around the mammilian world. Humans have breasts that swell at maturity, and stay large our whole adult life, while other mammals have breasts that only swell when they are full of milk. Our breasts are large BECAUSE they were sexually selected to, as a sexual attractant. There's really no denying that, as convenient as it seems to say that they are only for milk.
You're absolutely right. However, I think the problem is that people can't separate the sexual function from the biological one. Most women have no issue with a gynecologist looking at her vagina because that's not a sexual touch, it's a medical one to keep her safe. I think most of us would agree it's ok to show a doctor your vagina when it's appropriate to do so. Yet breastfeeding is somehow "gross" because we can't remove the sexual stigma from the breast, even when it's being used in a completely non-sexual way. That's a problem.0
This discussion has been closed.
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