Who believes in Internet Dating?

sonjawi

I think I might be missing something. I don't think I have ever heard of someone developing a 'committed' romantic relationship on line and that's as far as it went. It's not even logical.

Meeting someone, having conversations, getting to know them some .. but without face to face time, that is not really a committed relationship. You can perhaps fall in love with who you 'think' that person is may be possible. The heart (your emotional element) doesn't care whether or not there is physical contact and may be completely convinced that this is all safe and good .. but the brain (the logical element) might have some trouble with it.

That some people lose logic when it comes to emotions is unfortunately a fact. A good example of this is to be found here:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8704213/ns/technology_and_science-security/t/seduced-scams-online-lovers-often-duped/#.TwMdfjV6Xoc

auticus

I have had a lot of bad luck with internet dating. I require some physical intimacy so, "dating" someone I never see is not really an option for me. I've tried distance relationships and they have been very hard for me emotionally to deal with. In every instance there was no chance of the other person and I being able to relocate due to children and when you only see someone once or twice a year, I don't consider that a relationship.

I've never had much luck with internet dating sites either, unless I've openly lied about my appearance or tried to conform to what "average" women want in a guy, and I won't do that (be dishonest) so ... dating sites are pretty much out for me as well. (Most dating sites are 10 guys to 1 woman I've found which is also not a big positive)

There are people who make it work and to them I say congratulations.

SandersWifey

I think the internet is a great way to meet new people.

That said, my sister has had 2 failed marriages, both men she met online.:frown:

Also I am kind of in an internet/long distance relationship right now, seeing as my husband is deployed. We have Skype dates and mail each other cards and gifts. I can't be with him and it sucks, but we make the best out of the situation.

I think it all depends on the people in the relationship.:flowerforyou:

Pidders89

I didn't originally go on the internet to find someone but me and my now boyfriend got chatting and found out we only live 20 minutes away so met up and now we have been together for 3 years in July

xxx

bestrodeo

I didn't do internet dating- I met my husband in a chat room a long time ago (13yr) and we just hit it off. We met month in a half later in person when he drove from Texas to Northern Cali and we have been together since..
For some it works some it doesn't.. I have a friend whos dated women in his area and can't seem to find the "right" girl so hes now trying internet.. I wish everyone the best..

becky2967

thats how i met my husband so i cant say i dont agree, wasnt planned we got talking on myspace and after awhile he did the 150mile trip & it got serious he moved here & we started a family together. that was 6years ago and im so glad he requested me randomly. hes sweet, caring - can be lazy but hes not like any other ex of mine and i met them in flesh first! i wouldnt do the hole dating site thing though, i think relationships work better maybe without 'looking' & waiting. - i know my friend met her partner typing a number wrong & the text sent to him instead!

milf_n_cookies

I answered my husbands personal add on hotmail as a joke, after a few phone calls and emails I decided he was not a serial killer, so I agreed to meet him for dinner (took my best friend with me, and choose a restaurant out of the town I lived in just in case LOL), after our first date I came home and told my grandmother that I was going to marry him. Been together for 14 years, married for 12 and have four kids together.

I believe you can find love online, but you need to know what you are doing, set boundaries and be prepared to sort though some crazies LOL

philOHIO

My wife and I met on the internet, through AOL over 15 years ago, when there were very few people online. We just met for fun, did not have any expectations since we lived 200 miles apart. I can't imagine being with anyone else.

You have to be truthful with who you are, but be vigilant enough to keep your guard up. Saying you are somebody you are not, or trying to string somebody along for a fun time will only get you trouble.

bigdawg025

No offence to anyone who have met their partner through internet but I was just wondering what's your thought on this topic?

I personally wouldn't do internet dating because for me I see it as "What is the point in all this, if you cant hold your man/women in person, go out to dinner or just hang out in general, and how you know if he is actually faithful," for me you can never trust someone's words . For me words mean nothing. & obveriously If I don't see the guy in person, how would i know If he's not cheating regardless of all the phone calls you two have made, Skype'd etc..

I don't know, Personally I just don't get the whole point in it, for me its just a waste of time and always better to have the real thing then computer screen esp even worse if they live in another COUNTRY!. Sorry if anyone finding this a bit offensive and don't mean too but if you have found love through internet then Congratulations.

I agree with this philosophy. I don't think I would ever have any trust for someone because I'd always be jealous of every single comment or post that was by or for another dude. Trust me... I have experience in this department, and it sucks.

philOHIO

I think it's awesome. I met my wife over 10 years ago and we are very happy. Good dating profile and honesty = good matches.

^^^
my point, exactly

emmiexjay

I had internet dating until i met my boyfriend.. we still kind of do have internet dating but now it's more long distance as we are together.. i spent only 5 months getting to know him before we met in person.. we spent 4 wonderful days together for new years. we've been together for 17 months the 14th of this month. (it's actuall 18 months of knowing each other we met on my birthday through a mutual friend - who also happens to be my adopted american uncle!)

There are so weirdos out there but i think in a way it's a great way to meet people if you're not out going.. but then again it can be hard i know my american uncle and his girlfriend (now wife) had that problem before of the time differences and money but now he is here, they are together and living happily together (:

LethaSue

I met my husband in a chat room 14 years ago. I wont go into all of the specifics here, but we lived over 1500 miles apart. We talked online and the phone for a year before we met. We continued taking 2 week vacations together twice a year for 7 years. After the kids were all grown and graduated from high school, he moved here and we married and our life together is a beautiful one.
For all the years we spent online, we talked about everything you can imagine in great detail. I think we know each other as well as we know ourselves. It might not work for alot of people and it doesn't, in most cases. But other situations don't work all the time either.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

maybe this has been discussed, I'm not sure and don't have time to read them all, but are we talking internet dating sites where you meet online and then start dating or long distance relationships?

One of my IL's met their now SO on match.com and the other on eharmony, they've been in their relationships for nearly 10 years now and are still going strong. I actually know quite a few people who've met SO's online and think it's a great too in this day and age to cast a nice wide net and find a great match.

If we're talking long distance relationships, I've been with my DH for 10 years now and we started our first 18 months with me living in DC and him living in Detroit. We'd drive to Pittsburgh and meet up every 6 weeks or so. While distance sure does test a relationship I don't believe that geography is a good reason not to be in one with the right person. However, that first 18 months would have been a hell of a lot easier if we had skype, man did I get to missing his face.

Marig0ld

I gotta agree with everyone else who says that it's just another way to meet people. I used to have profiles on Match and OKCupid, because while I put myself out there and did what everyone said I should do, I just wasn't much into the whole bar/club scene. I met a couple really cool guys and a couple losers, but that would be the same no matter where I met them, I think. :laugh:

As for the whole "being unsafe" aspect, I would always meet these guys in a public place like a restaurant or mall. I think the old misconception of people posting pictures of models and saying it's them is now bogus. A person you meet at a party or at a bar could just as easily lie about who they are and what they do...the only difference is that you know what they look like in person. *shrug*

As for the whole different countries aspect, that kinda weirds me out. I work with this guy that is now ENGAGED to a girl from Thailand. He went to visit her a few months ago, and they're now engaged after their first in-person meeting. He's paying mucho dinero for her to come live in the US with him. I thought this was a bit extreme, but he seems happy so who am I to judge?

ETA: I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that I met my current boyfriend through my cousin. Go figure, right?

MsD1984

I don't believe in internet relationships - however meeting someone online has advantages. Sometimes talking to people for hours and being 'yourself' can be easier online for the shy people in the World (*Waves*)
I met my partner online, we lived 120miles apart but spoke for a week and then I went to stay with him, he came back to mine and never left. We've been together a year or so now and have our first child on the way, also getting married at the end of this year.
For some it works, for others - not so much.

cnsmith2

I met my husband online before it was "cool." In April we will have our 12 year anniversary lol.

So yeah... I definitely believe in Internet Dating!

MissObstinatiox

In my experience it was a disaster!!
I married a guy i meet online after we had known each other in real life so to speak for a few months! :0)
Worst mistake i made as he then met his new wife online when he was still married to me!
Just to add i divorced him when i found out he had been cheating with girls online before he remarried as Bygamy to add to this would of been worse! lol

deadstarsunburn

I did not do internet dating. Which means I did not mean to meet my now husband on the internet. We just met up in a forum with a similar interest and started talking from there. As we both lived only an hour apart, we met at a party in real life pretty fast, decided we like to hang out with each other as friends, and the rest is history *lol* We had both been in a phase when we did not look for anything, but apparently it was meant to be.

I do not think I would go to an internet dating site as match.com or the like to meet somebody. I just doubt that many of those profiles are truthful. People can represent themselves as they want and invent a double life.

Same with my boyfriend and I except we had been in band together (at two different schools but often competing against each other) for about three years so I kinda knew him before only started talking online.

Just to add to clarify for the OP, if you meet someone online it doesn't necessarily mean you date over the internet for the entire relationship, I've only heard of that happening if they are very young and usually in middle school or high school. Not to say it doesn't happen with adults, I've just never heard or seen it.

=]

nomena

I believe in it. I met my boyfriend online via a friend on Facebook (so I know he's a real person and not a perv). He's studying abroad right now, but is coming to my university to do his master's degree next year. He is someone that I trust completely, I've talked to his mum online and skype around 6 hours a day with him. It's horrible to not be able to have him here, but it just has to wait for now because we both don't have to means to travel back and forth across the world.

bedoozled

"What is the point in all this, if you cant hold your man/women in person, go out to dinner or just hang out in general, and how you know if he is actually faithful," for me you can never trust someone's words . For me words mean nothing. & obveriously If I don't see the guy in person, how would i know If he's not cheating regardless of all the phone calls you two have made, Skype'd etc..

Do you mean dating via/on the internet, or dating THROUGH the internet? As in, do you mean a couple who only communicates online, or a couple who use an online resource (say, OkCupid or eHarmony) to meet? I guess if it's the first, your points apply (although really it's not all that different from what a lot of long-distance couples would have to go through), although while it's not for me I don't really see the harm in a close, communicative relationship. If it's the second, none of that really applies, since it's no different (except in the set-up) from a blind date : )

LuciaLongIsland

I didn't read everyones response, I hope I am not repeating myself/ YES, WITHOUT A DOUBT!!! No one I met misrepresented them selves. Two of the men were close to being millionaires. One picked me up in a limo, with a chemistry and magic set because I said I was looking for magic. The sad thing is that I wasn't physically attracted to them. The ones I liked, didn't like me...Uggg. I still keep in touch with one of them. I wish it had worked out. I now know him for over 20 years. I was in my 40's at the time and in great shape. Then I went back to the loser BF. Now I am just turned sixty, am overweight so I am not into it. Perhaps when I lose the weight. I know so many people who have met and even married men they met. What is the alternative??? Bars, friends the library. I also worked with all men. Go for it!!! I live on Long Island, NY.

geckofli

I don't know about ' dating' on the internet, I'm a tactile beastie but using the Internet to um reach out to, connect, just meet people.
I'd use it to find people with similar interests for the sake of making friends, I moved to my city knowing only one person and it's hard makin friendships with a fly in fly out roster, trying to meet potential 'partners' is impossible for me, I hate the pub& clubs and I'm not anywhere with any regulararity, cept the domestic airport I rack up the hour there

SeasideOasis

This answer depends on everyones personal situation. I dated a guy who lived in Boston several years ago and we only had e-mails, phones, and texts for a MASS MAJORITY of our relationship. We never fought, there was no lack of communication, and we had a WONDERFUL time whenever there were visits. However, we were both young and neither of us were in a place to move to the others city financially. I had nothing but great things to say about him to this day. That is pretty much an internet relationship.

There are situations more and more like this everyday as the world becomes a melting pot. People are traveling more. People are also being relocated more.

mymelody_78

You probably should distinguish between "long distance relationship" and "internet dating". You can meet someone on the internet and have dinner with them the next night if they live in your area.

My opinion is that the internet is just another way to meet new people. Especially for shy people like myself

I agree with this above!

I believe the original poster is talking about having a "relationship" over the internet without ever meeting.

As most people said before, online dating is another avenue to meet more people. You can meet people at the bar, grocery store, bookstore, anywhere and they can lie to your face.

HeidiMightyRawr

I met my partner through the internet. It wasn't a dating site though and we didn't start a relationship until after we had met in person.

Basically, he lived 300+ miles away so we had no intention of ever meeting up, we just had things in common and would speak to each other occasionally. He knew I lived near London (I lived approx 40 miles from there) but didn't know whereabouts. About 3-4 months after I first spoke to him online, he moved up near where I lived for University. Turned out his new house was about 3 miles from mine - so we decided to meet up.
Started a relationship with each other a couple of weeks after that.

So yes I believe in internet dating.. if you have an intention of actually seeing each other. If it's all going to be based over the internet or live so far away you can never see each other then I don't.
I don't have a problem with long distance relationships, but I just feel you have to have already had the strong relationship and trust there to begin with or it's (very rarely) going to work.

KimmieBrie

I think you are more talking about people who have internet relationships where they have never met in person and that's not what I consider dating.

OH YES !! That's what i mean. I have come across people that say "Oh I'm dating blah blah," and you found out its internet Dating ..

Ah ok - if a couple have never ever met in person, only online then I don't consider it a full relationship. Some people might but for me its: emotional, mental, spiritual and last but certainly not least- physical.

juliecat1

haha thats great!
Meeting someone on sites like match (or MFP) is totally doable. In a way, the slow, chatting aspect of it could be a good thing - its somewhat old fashioned in a high tech way. But eventually, I think, you do have to meet because otherwise - whats the point? I dont understand this new never meeting text phenomena thats going on.

Vhovell

I met my fiance through a dating website. Only went on there really to see what the fuss was about and met him. He lived 40 miles away so it's been fairly easy to see him and we now live together. I think the distance and knowing each other through the internet has given us a strong base for our relationship to grow on as we got to know each others personality before meeting up and before actually going out.

I definitely think it would be different though if he was further away or in a different country.

I'll happily admit i met him through the internet and had to pay 4.99 to talk to him (he's well worth it though!)

As for the last comment, i agree - if you don't see them personally or physically go out i don't think i would class that as dating, and completely agree with heidi_1990.

forgtmenot

Really??? I met my ex in an AOL chat room. He was 23 at the time. Luckily we didn't have any kids because then I would still have to talk to him haha.

writtenINthestars

Oh I forgot to add that I met my husband online in a AOL chat room specifically for NH. A huge group of us all became good friends IRL and him and I have been together ever since. I'm still very close friends with all those people 11 years later...