Who believes in Internet Dating?

TheRoadDog

I suppose it is the wave of the future. I have never done it and I doubt I ever will. I have always found my love interests when I wasn't looking. I prefer to go through life doing the things I enjoy and believe that I have a better chance of running into people that enjoy the same things that I do.

Seen some comments about Internet conversations vs face to face. A person can be deceiving either way.

I would have said, before MFP, that meeting someone on the internet was a waste of time, however, I've met several people here that I feel are genuine beautiful people. I would probably date any woman on my friends list if they weren't married, were'nt so damn young or I wasn't married.

Good luck to anyone whatever method you choose to meet people.

I met my wife the old fashioned way. She was naked on my massage table.

ItsCasey

I don't consider it "dating" if you've never met the person, even if your intent is to meet them and actually go on a date at some point. "Dating" implies that the two of you are spending time together and progressing toward an actual relationship. Flirting on the Internet with someone you've never met is just that. I don't really have a problem with it ... live, and let live. But it's not "dating," and if dating is your goal, you've gotta come out from behind the computer screen at some point.

As for meeting someone online, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. To me, it's no different than trying to meet people in bars/clubs, as long as you are honest (about who you are and your intentions). Don't pretend to be better-looking, more successful, or more emotionally available than you really are, and you should be good to go.

I do want to address the OP's point about not being able to actually see and touch each other, hang out together, know that you're being faithful to each other, etc. The same things are true of long-distance relationships. The man I'm currently dating lives three hours away. We see each other, at best, once a week, which is okay for right now because we're both very independent, and we both work a lot. As for faithfulness, if a person is going to cheat, it doesn't matter if they live in the same house or on the other side of the world. If you feel like you've got to keep tabs on your man 24/7 to be sure of his fidelity, then he's not really yours, is he?

EmpressOfJudgment

I love all these "I don't believe in internet dating" comments. Like internet dating is some kind of mythical creature, like unicorns or Santa Claus.

I know tons of people who have tried internet dating and failed. I did it for a couple of years and it didn't go that well. I got one two month relationship out of it and a long string of good "WTF" date stories. Usually, it was a big waste of time. There was tons of excitement, flirting, and great romantic emails for a week or two in the beginning. Then we'd meet and there would be no chemistry, or the guy would turn out to be a little nutso.

Here is the thing I don't like about online dating: it creates unrealistic expectations. You create a list of what you want. They create a list of what they are looking for. On paper someone seems perfect. You seem perfect to someone. Then you meet and you realize this person isn't perfect. This person is kind of weird. This person doesn't look at all like his picture. Maybe this person has a quirk you don't like. Or maybe they think these things about you. Then you instantly give up on that person because you still have this idea that there is a perfect person out there. Or, in my case, you break up because he has a list of 25 things he needs in a long-term girlfriend and you only have 23 of those qualities and he has his life planned out for the next 15 years and you don't quite line up at year 5.

All of that being said, It is possible to have success with online dating. You will probably just have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. A lot. I have several couple friends who met online and are very happy. Two of the couples are engaged and one is married. The other ones are living in sin. Heathens. I've actually made a couple of good friends this way too. There were a few guys that I got along great with and we had a lot of fun, but the chemistry wasn't there. We were honest about it from the beginning and were still able to maintain platonic relationships.

Long story short, it's not for everyone, but sometimes, it's hard to meet people by chance. Unless your a sap who thinks online dating is messing with destiny, why not increase your chances of meeting someone great by going online. Just be smart about it and don't have ridiculous expectations. Oh, and always talk on the phone first. That ruled out a couple of crazies for me from the start.

The last thing I have to add is that there is something to the whole "It usually happens when you aren't looking thing." Perhaps that's why a lot of people fail at internet dating. They are trying way too hard. I met my current long-term boyfriend about two weeks after I swore off dating and decided I wanted to be single for awhile. I've seen it happen time and time again. People can smell desperation and it's not at all attractive.

Pollywog39

I tried Match.com. Paid for 6 months......and it was a waste of time and money.

I tried to meet a couple of guys, but they were not interested in me. The ones that WERE, well, I just said "no, thank you." Not my type or something else that didn't 'feel' right.

I probably won't go that route again. I just didn't seem to work for me.

kcphilly

I don't consider solely speaking online and never meeting dating...been through a situation like that where we planned to eventually meet up and see what happened but it feel through before that could happen. I would have never considered him a bf though.

But about in general meeting people online and honesty...a loser/liar is going to be one whether you meet them online or not. I have tried dating sites and have now "run into" 3 of my exs that I met all offline. And they all had lies/exaggerations in their profiles...which was not shocking to me since they all lied to me while dating having met in more "traditional" ways. The worst was my ex that I met when he was 28/29...he said he was in the "process" of moving out of his parents house, I was in college and he tried to play it like we were in the same spot in life. Well this is now almost 10 years later and he found my profile online and sent me a message...wanting to get back together...and he's still living with his mom and plans to until she's gone and he inherits the house. Yet his profile says he just had a new house built (yeah his moms!) and that he owns his own business (again, his moms, he just works for her). I'm sure he would tell the same lines of crap to someone he met in a bar, concert, wherever. Either way they're gonna be exposed eventually.

Even for long distance relationships...I think people who want to cheat will do it anyway, whether you're 200 miles apart or living in the same house. Yes one is easier but if the person doesn't have it in their heart to do it they're not going to just because they know they could get away with it.

vitacat

I met my husband online 10 years ago. At the time he worked in Paris and I lived in the north of England. After chatting for 2 weeks he offered to take me to dinner, the following weekend he flew to Manchester and did just that. He commuted at weekends for the next year then found a job close to my home. We've been married for 7 years in a couple of months

LaurenAOK

I met my boyfriend of 6 months online (OkCupid). I honestly didn't expect it to happen; I signed up for the site because it was free and I was bored and wanted to do the personality quizzes and stuff, haha. When he sent me a message I thought he was cute and seemed nice, so I replied, but still didn't expect anything to come out of it. But we kept talking and really clicked so we went out to dinner...we continued dating and have been very happy

In this modern age I see nothing wrong with meeting people online. As long as you're smart about it and aren't putting yourself in any danger, I say go for it. Now as far as maintaining a relationship strictly through online communication, that's a different story. It would take A LOT of trust and patience to get through that. I've done long-distance before and we used both the phone and internet to communicate, with occasional visits, and even that was really really difficult. I can't imagine it being 100% online.

stormieweather

I met my partner online, in a fantasy chat room.:devil: . We talked via messenger, email, and phone for about 6 months, then he flew across country to meet me. Two months later, he moved across country to be with me.

That was 9 years ago. We have a 6yr old daughter (<

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pic) and enjoy our life very much.

kapeluza

I met my husband on WoW.

LaurenAOK

I met my partner online, in a fantasy chat room.:devil: . We talked via messenger, email, and phone for about 6 months, then he flew across country to meet me. Two months later, he moved across country to be with me.

That was 9 years ago. We have a 6yr old daughter (<

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pic) and enjoy our life very much.

Awwwww

ChristineMarie89

i found my fiance on HERE want looking for him. . . he happened to be on my friends list when my ex broke up with me and he was the only one there for me. . . and later on we decided we were together. . . your right u cant know if ther cheating but technically u cant know even if u r together. . . u cant have a relationship long distance or not if u cant trust tht person. with that being said he makes me happy! we may not get to c eachother as often as we wud like but we know itll get better yes its hard but if someones worth it then u trust em and be with them any way

joehempel

Its rough. I met my fiance on this site....but you have to put trust in that person and that person has to trust you.

Communication is KEY. And tou have to have a plan to not be long distance anymore.

I also think if you dismiss it, you are limiting yourself from finding "the one". How the heck did I know my one was 11.5 hours away. If it wasnt for the internet I probably would have never found her

calvert6183

Meeting people online, tt cant be any worse than the people I meet in person. Ive met alot of good women and some bad ones. I quit looking for women in bars well because lets just say ive learned that you cant shake a *kitten* tree and expect an angel to fall out. I dont care how I meet good woman as long I meet them. Online is perfect for career and business professionals who dont have the time to get out and put themselves out there.

Online is alittle harder for us guys because of the amount of shirtless guys posing in the mirror constantly messaging women with penis pics. Guys? Ive never heard a woman say that works. Your penis is not a worm on a hook trying to catch a catfish. I have alot of female friends on pof, the stories they tell. The women get discouraged and delete their accounts. We ave to catch them as soon as they create one. Ive had alot of luck on Match. I met my last girlfriend on Match and she was a good catch. Pof is the worst. My favorite is Meetup and surprisingly, this site, ive met some really good people.

peachprl

I do not think I would go to an internet dating site as match.com or the like to meet somebody. I just doubt that many of those profiles are truthful. People can represent themselves as they want and invent a double life.

About the whole double life thing, EXACTLY THAT'S WHAT I MEAN! At least your man was only an hour away which is great, not in another country.

SAME issue here. I have had two boyfriends pull the double life BS on me now. One guy when I moved away and the other was just a jerk and turned out to be making match.com profiles, etc. I do not trust online dating and I take anything said online by anyone with a grain of salt after them!

saj6

I met my husband over 10 yrs ago on an internet dating site, we will have our 8th wedding anniversary in April this year :-) we have 2 great kids and are doing MFP together right now :-) we are very happy and hope to have a long life together :-) so for me (and I was skeptical at the time if internet dating would work for me!) it was a very successful way to meet someone!

xTattooedDollx

I don't internet date. Meeting men is easy, first dates are so fun and weeding out the bad is easy.

forgtmenot

I quit looking for women in bars well because lets just say ive learned that you cant shake a *kitten* tree and expect an angel to fall out.
Online is alittle harder for us guys because of the amount of shirtless guys posing in the mirror constantly messaging women with penis pics. Guys? Ive never heard a woman say that works. Your penis is not a worm on a hook trying to catch a catfish.

HAHAHA! This made me laugh so hard!

NikkiWork

Well I met my husband online Feb 26,2002 (yahoo chat) wasn't looking for anyone, just chatting & he just happened to catch my interest! Did I mention he lived in TX & I lived in WI, yep 19-20 hr drive so it wasn't easy! We met in person Jan 1, 2003 he flew to me, with many visits we decided that it was time one of us needed to move, it was me! June 14, 2004 I moved to TX! We married Feb 26, 2005 (exactly 3 yrs after we met) we'll be married 7 years this year and together 10...I don't think its for everyone and it can be dangerous but it worked for us!

NikkiWork

Well I met my husband online Feb 26,2002 (yahoo chat) wasn't looking for anyone, just chatting & he just happened to catch my interest! Did I mention he lived in TX & I lived in WI, yep 19-20 hr drive so it wasn't easy! We met in person Jan 1, 2003 he flew to me, with many visits we decided that it was time one of us needed to move, it was me! June 14, 2004 I moved to TX! We married Feb 26, 2005 (exactly 3 yrs after we met) we'll be married 7 years this year and together 10...I don't think its for everyone and it can be dangerous but it worked for us!

KimmieBrie

I do not think I would go to an internet dating site as match.com or the like to meet somebody. I just doubt that many of those profiles are truthful. People can represent themselves as they want and invent a double life.

About the whole double life thing, EXACTLY THAT'S WHAT I MEAN! At least your man was only an hour away which is great, not in another country.

SAME issue here. I have had two boyfriends pull the double life BS on me now. One guy when I moved away and the other was just a jerk and turned out to be making match.com profiles, etc. I do not trust online dating and I take anything said online by anyone with a grain of salt after them!

Everyone should do their due diligence checking people out (background checks) etc whether you meet IRL or online - no difference. They are a stranger to you when you 1st meet. For every BS story made up online I could probably show you someone IRL who makes up BS too. One of my best friends married the biggest BSer ever, found in real life. You can meet winners and losers both ways.... be cautious.

KimmieBrie

you cant shake a *kitten* tree and expect an angel to fall out.

HA - love it

brit49

I believe in Internet dating, its just another way of meeting people. people can just has well lie face to face. Your on MPF your forming a relationship on here, it might not be dating but its still a relationship, and who no one might meet their husband or wife on this very site.

MsMargie1116

No offense taken... I met my hubby online... But I do agree, you have to be VERY careful. I believe I was blessed. I got me a good one. We've been happily married over 10 years!!!

0namission

Internet Dating is so broad now..i mean..there is...Date matching sites...you chat it up get to know the person thenn go on a first date. ..Then there is catching someone in a chat room and and instant messaging everyday for months until you decide u wanna take it further and skype and have phone conversations....then finally you meet up....i think as long as your honest with yourself and the other person internet dating can work out just fine...you just be just as cautious as you would if u met a person in walmart....lol i mean...people are always like You dont knwo this person and blah blah blah..but ...these days you cant just date within ur group of friend to be safee. You dont know the person you meet while ur out either..and just cuz you see them in rl doesnt mean they arent a dang Serial killer. <<biggest excuse people give for not meeting someone online

mwilbur27

I'm on board with most of the people on here. I think that online dating is no different than actual dating. There are liars, cheaters, total creepers in any avenue you take. Just trust your instincts and do your research. I have met a lot of really great people online and I've also met a lot of people that need a high five in the face with a chair. Every situation is what you make it.

MrsNoir

I do not think I would go to an internet dating site as match.com or the like to meet somebody. I just doubt that many of those profiles are truthful. People can represent themselves as they want and invent a double life.

About the whole double life thing, EXACTLY THAT'S WHAT I MEAN! At least your man was only an hour away which is great, not in another country.

Well.. I first met the one that will turn out to be my husband in his home country, England... . I had been living there for a while while learning English and working, so I met him the summer before I went back to Spain. I barely talked to him. He was just the very handsome and fit man I had ever seen, with such a cute smile, that I thought I wouldn't mind marrying (I had very clear I wanted to remain single all my life until I saw him, never seen a guy before and thought of him as marriage potential)... however I didn't get to date him or anything, he was just a friend of a friend, we crossed a couple of words, a couple of pics, and that was it. I didn't even know by then he was married, and had two daughters!!.

I am Spanish, and I went back to Spain, ended up having a boyfriend, going back to England, going to my English friend's wedding (the one that introduced us) and completely forgot about this "potential hubby" guy. Until 5 years later... one happy day of his birthday, he found me on Facebook... and told me he was a friend of my friend, and if I remembered him. I was in shock! so I replied... and he replied, and I replied back.. and we ended dating 3 months later, as I had in my plans already going back to live in London, an hour away from where he lived, so well, it was somewhat still feasible. But until I saw him in real life, I had no idea whether I would still like him phisically, and in fact, on our first date, I doubted at first... but accidentally we kissed, with those Spanish two kisses we were meant to give us, and it ended in one short kiss in the mouth, and a second one, to sort of improve the accidental one... but yeah... 4 years and 3 days after he found me online... we are married for a year and 3 months.. and already have a baby of 6 months!:D

But don't forget.. there has been 3 months of online-dating, somehow. And even more, as I went to England, lived with him for some months, and had to go back to Spain for 9 months to finish my Degree, so most of that time has been online dating.

Johnnyswife

Online dating is the new singles bar to meet at. lol I met my husband of 4 years in March on Yahoo 360. (before they shut it down.) Its harder to date someone long distance since you don't see them every day like someone local, but the wait was so worth it!

People can lie to your face in person just as easily as they can long distance. I found though, that through talking to John daily, and talking to his friends, I really got to know who he was. I even emailed his ex and we had long talks too which helped me to get to know the real him.

No need to be afraid to date online if your careful and take your time getting to know the person. Its not for everyone though and if your not comfortable doing it, than don't. Always stick to what makes you feel safe!

Skinny_Jeans_Soon

I married my High School Sweetheart but would have been open to online dating or meeting someone on match.com (or similar site) if we weren't married. I have several friends in long term relationships from meeting online and then dating in person. They are super cute, well matched couples.

Glovesave3373

I'm in nachande's boat as well. My wife and I meet on "Plenty of Fish" in 2008 and we now have been together for 3 plus years and married 2... we have a beautiful 2 yr old daughter and a 2 month old son. I think the most benificial thing I found in looking for a partner on the internet was the ability to get past only looks and find someone who truly had those passions and desires that I was looking for as well as a beauty... just look her up "mommyj2009". We both are on here as she tries to loss some of that baby fat and we support each other in our daily eating habits. We want to establish good eating habits for our children.

We both love soccer and that was a great bond for us... I mean come on, which is creepier... meeting the women of my dreams online or a 30-something guy hanging around womens soccer games trying to pick one of them up after a match.... I mean when I met my wife, just her and one other lady was single on the team.

I say try the traditional way... and try the internet way and just get out there and mingle. When I was young early 20's in Hawaii... of course the night life was the way to go... but as you age and mature, and realize what you are really looking for.... sometimes it helps to narrow down the search.

Best of luck in your search.

beautyreaps

Well, I'm career focused so I've been off the dating scene for some time now, haha.

With that being said, I don't think that internet dating is a "bad" thing. Yes, people can invent double lives, but guess what? They can do the EXACT same thing in person.

I have a friend who dated a guy she met in person. This guy had told her that he was an engineer, 23 (he did look young) and lived in the city. They dated for about a month, but she started to feel iffy about him, because he never wanted to meet at his place, but had exempt that before, simply because she thought he was being a white knight picking her up for dates. Long story short, she ended up getting a knock at the door and lo and behold it's the guys wife! That's right, this guy was actually 36, worked in the city, but lived in the out skirts and he works as a plumber.

With online dating, because you're lacking the physical interactions, you're geared on the emotional. Which for some proves a stronger than the average couple.

About the trust. Relationships are all about trust. If you don't trust your spouse then why be with them? Sure, they may cheat on you, but they can do the same in real life (and of course this is a supported fact) and not everyone's a cheater.

Bottom line, I wouldn't shut down a relationship option simply because it's online. You can meet with people and you should if you're together and if you're happy together then all the power to you.