Weightloss and Your Significant Other (CAUTION: Could be PG1
jakki_brown
Posts: 142 Member
How does your weightloss effect your relationship with your significant other?
My Future Husband loves me no matter my size. I honestly diet for myself because he can be completely satisfied with me any day of the week, but when I feel fat I'm not the person he deserves.
So how does it effect you guys? Great bedroom rounds? More date nights?
My Future Husband loves me no matter my size. I honestly diet for myself because he can be completely satisfied with me any day of the week, but when I feel fat I'm not the person he deserves.
So how does it effect you guys? Great bedroom rounds? More date nights?
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Replies
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My fiance likes me any which way, but the sex was more when i was bigger. He likes lots of flesh everywhere. However i need to be healthy for me!0
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Oh boy I so want to respond to this in detail but...suffice it to say that my weight loss didn't change much in any room of the house.
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Just curious but like do people really expect your significant other to be like yeah I don't like you overweight you disgust me sometimes when I look at you and when we have sex I think of some really hot chick? I don't think so just always wondered that when guys or girls say that there significant other likes them any size (don't take it personal its not about you)0
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Through weight loss me and my husband (we have been married over 18 years) we are re-bonding kind of. We go on hikes together, geocache (google it) and do things besides him being on one computer, me be on the lap top. We also play kinect together, we cook together. And for me, forplay begins OUTSIDE the bedroom:) So if things keep up the way they are going, we will be like newlyweds again! LOL0
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@Beerbomber: I don't think people expect their significant other to think like that, but I think that's a fear people sometimes have.0
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Mmhmm
Better sexy time, for sure.
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bump0
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My boyfriend is very good looking and he has always has gorgeous girlfriends in the past. He is the perfect body weight and so are all his brothers, sisters and friends. I feel so disgusting around him and I know he thinks Im fat and should lose weight. He is very weight conscious of himself and freaks if he puts on 1 kg! He's never rude but he does subtly mention my weight and need to lose it. For example he suggests I rather eat salad than a chicken pie for lunch cause its a lot less fattening. He never calls me beautiful. Sometime says, "you look nice" or "you look pretty" and by that he is referring to the fact that i put make up on or did my hair. He always wants the lights off when we have sex and he doesn't really like me being on top! He doesn't say why but I must look so huge and disgusting from that angle!! 0
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My boyfriend is very good looking and he has always has gorgeous girlfriends in the past. He is the perfect body weight and so are all his brothers, sisters and friends. I feel so disgusting around him and I know he thinks Im fat and should lose weight. He is very weight conscious of himself and freaks if he puts on 1 kg! He's never rude but he does subtly mention my weight and need to lose it. For example he suggests I rather eat salad than a chicken pie for lunch cause its a lot less fattening. He never calls me beautiful. Sometime says, "you look nice" or "you look pretty" and by that he is referring to the fact that i put make up on or did my hair. He always wants the lights off when we have sex and he doesn't really like me being on top! He doesn't say why but I must look so huge and disgusting from that angle!!
^^^ Just MHO, but I don't think you're where you deserve to be.
As for me and my SO, we are getting in shape together. All I'll say.......it's quite evident we are feeling confident about the bodies we're building. :devil:0 -
My boyfriend is very good looking and he has always has gorgeous girlfriends in the past. He is the perfect body weight and so are all his brothers, sisters and friends. I feel so disgusting around him and I know he thinks Im fat and should lose weight. He is very weight conscious of himself and freaks if he puts on 1 kg! He's never rude but he does subtly mention my weight and need to lose it. For example he suggests I rather eat salad than a chicken pie for lunch cause its a lot less fattening. He never calls me beautiful. Sometime says, "you look nice" or "you look pretty" and by that he is referring to the fact that i put make up on or did my hair. He always wants the lights off when we have sex and he doesn't really like me being on top! He doesn't say why but I must look so huge and disgusting from that angle!!
^^^ Just MHO, but I don't think you're where you deserve to be.
As for me and my SO, we are getting in shape together. All I'll say.......it's quite evident we are feeling better about ourselves. :devil:
What do you mean by that?
The title is "Weightloss and Your Significant Other"
That is what my post was referring to.0 -
My "EX" husband was always a bit jealous. He told me how he loved me "just the way I was" which was obese. As the pounds began to fall off the jealousy increased. I was questioned about everything, belittled for wearing clothes that I felt attractive in with my new found weight loss. It was horrible. He made me doubt myself and everything I tried to do. I finally woke up and realized that I was better than that and deserved better as well. Divorce. Married again..new hubby didn't give a care about anyone but himself. Divorced him. I have been single for nearly 5 years now and I have never been happier.0
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My husband loves me no matter what i look like. When we first got together i weighed 130lbs and i would love to get back to that again. (thats when we had the most "Fun" in the bedroom). Its stil great now but it was the best times then. But he has been really considerate of what i am doing he gets upset from time to time b/c he thinks im going to leave him when i get skinny but since i married his dumas$$ for a reason i guess im not going anywhere.0
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@lisajuliette I think what she's trying to say is it doesn't sound like your boyfriend treats you very nice and you deserve more than that.0
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This! My husband is always telling me he loves me no matter what I weigh, and that if I lose, I do it for me, not him. I've been around this size or 10 to 20lbs lighter off and on, and nothing ever changes between us. I still feel like a newly wed. :smooched:@Beerbomber: I don't think people expect their significant other to think like that, but I think that's a fear people sometimes have.0 -
If you knew in your heart that you were loved unconditionally, you would not feel disgusting around him. I've always told my SO she was beautiful even when she gained 40 pounds after we got together. It wasn't just to be nice, but the fact that she's beautiful to me no matter what. No need to have the lights off, etc. To me it just seems that he can be a little more supportive. Like I said.....just my opinion based on what you wrote. I'm obviously not all knowing in regards to your relationship......My boyfriend is very good looking and he has always has gorgeous girlfriends in the past. He is the perfect body weight and so are all his brothers, sisters and friends. I feel so disgusting around him and I know he thinks Im fat and should lose weight. He is very weight conscious of himself and freaks if he puts on 1 kg! He's never rude but he does subtly mention my weight and need to lose it. For example he suggests I rather eat salad than a chicken pie for lunch cause its a lot less fattening. He never calls me beautiful. Sometime says, "you look nice" or "you look pretty" and by that he is referring to the fact that i put make up on or did my hair. He always wants the lights off when we have sex and he doesn't really like me being on top! He doesn't say why but I must look so huge and disgusting from that angle!!
^^^ Just MHO, but I don't think you're where you deserve to be.
As for me and my SO, we are getting in shape together. All I'll say.......it's quite evident we are feeling better about ourselves. :devil:
What do you mean by that?0 -
With weight loss (put bluntly): a little less blow jobs, lots more sex.
That's the only change :laugh:0 -
I was a fat, unattractive, unlovable walrus.
My wife said she no longer wanted to have sex. The lard jiggle was too much for her to handle.
So, I lost the weight, and right about 40 lbs into this journey, the fire re-ignited. And all is well today - better than ever!
I am thankful for her honesty.
That got me to get off my butt and into the gym while pushing away from the table.0 -
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If you knew in your heart that you were loved unconditionally, you would not feel disgusting around him. I've always told my SO she was beautiful even when she gained 40 pounds after we got together. It wasn't just to be nice, but the fact that she's beatiful to me no matter what.
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Awww!! Love this!0 -
My hubby will be embarrassed if he reads this since he just joined MFP but yes, it's better since I shed the weight. I imagine it will improve further if/when he gets rid of his belly. I think he's handsome exactly the way he is, but the belly does tend to get in the way a bit, and he finds me about a million times more attractive now (that used to hurt my feelings, but now I'm just glad I get to give him the gift of a fit and healthy wife).0
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@lisajuliette I think what she's trying to say is it doesn't sound like your boyfriend treats you very nice and you deserve more than that.
I love him, he treats me well but no one can blame him for not thinking Im sexy. If i was him I wouldn't be having sex with me in the first place. I gained 4kgs this last month and he said nothing. He does love me they way I am but I wanna be smoking hot for him! Im sick of people looking at him like he's cooked in the head for dating a fat girl. I asked him to be honest with me about it and he says he loves me the way I am and I must do what makes me happy. So I asked him to be completely honest, would he find me more attractive if I lost the weight and he said yes.0 -
My boyfriend is very good looking and he has always has gorgeous girlfriends in the past. He is the perfect body weight and so are all his brothers, sisters and friends. I feel so disgusting around him and I know he thinks Im fat and should lose weight. He is very weight conscious of himself and freaks if he puts on 1 kg! He's never rude but he does subtly mention my weight and need to lose it. For example he suggests I rather eat salad than a chicken pie for lunch cause its a lot less fattening. He never calls me beautiful. Sometime says, "you look nice" or "you look pretty" and by that he is referring to the fact that i put make up on or did my hair. He always wants the lights off when we have sex and he doesn't really like me being on top! He doesn't say why but I must look so huge and disgusting from that angle!!
That is awful! No one shoud make you feel like you look huge and disgusting.0 -
Mine says he loves me no matter what. He's known me when I was 220 but never at my highest of 304. Right now I'm 155 but he does prefer big women. Not curvy but obese. Which is crazy to me. I still want curves but at 304 I felt my body was disgusting. And to be honest now I feel insecure because when I see a really beautiful bigger woman I think he she's better looking than me. In past relationships I felt insecure because I was big and now I feel the opposite. But he loves me for me and says he wouldn't change me. He actually saw a pic of me at 280 and said I was hot then too. Very odd!0
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If my wife got fat [never going to happen], I'd give her the opportunity to change. If not...@lisajuliette I think what she's trying to say is it doesn't sound like your boyfriend treats you very nice and you deserve more than that.
I love him, he treats me well but no one can blame him for not thinking Im sexy. If i was him I wouldn't be having sex with me in the first place. I gained 4kgs this last month and he said nothing. He does love me they way I am but I wanna be smoking hot for him! Im sick of people looking at him like he's cooked in the head for dating a fat girl. I asked him to be honest with me about it and he says he loves me the way I am and I must do what makes me happy. So I asked him to be completely honest, would he find me more attractive if I lost the weight and he said yes.
BYE BYE!
She and her true love [FOOD] can have a happy life together.0 -
My SO and I work out together and really enjoy it. Our problem is he is trying to put on weight while I am trying to lose weight. He is really big into nutrition and eating healthy while I eat what I enjoy and try to keep my total calories within my limit. If I want ice cream, I just work out a little more. He is very supportive of my weightloss and congratulates me on the work I do but I am trying to lose weight for myself, not him. He just motivates me more. Anything that comes from my weightloss is just an added bonus to help motivate me more.
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My bf tells me that he loves me as long as I'm happy, and I have no problem believing him. My weight doesn't affect our sex lives, but it does affect my image of our relationship. He was in the military for 4 years before we started dating, so he's pretty fit. He's been home for 6 months, and has only gained 20 pounds, but I can gain 20 pounds in 2 weeks!! When we're around his family I worry about what they think of me because I'm bigger than him (even though they're all over weight). When we go out, I worry that we look like that couple where a little guy is with a huge girl. I want to lose weight for myself, and I know that in order to do that I have to change my life style, but sometimes he doesn't understand why I can't eat the same foods that he does and why I have to go to the gym. He'll ask, "Can't you just work it off in the gym?" Lately, he's become more supportive. I think he sees that I have a negative view of myself and wants me to love myself more so that I can love him more.0
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Just curious but like do people really expect your significant other to be like yeah I don't like you overweight you disgust me sometimes when I look at you and when we have sex I think of some really hot chick? I don't think so just always wondered that when guys or girls say that there significant other likes them any size (don't take it personal its not about you)
It's true, my husband would NEVER say that to me even if I asked. The correct response is "i love you no matter what" because he's not going to want to be in the "dog house" or hurt my feelings.
He has joked that if i ever gained a lot of weight that he'd still love me.. as a friend... but would never have sex with me again. Although joking, I'm pretty sure that's how he really feels. LOL0 -
The only change here was that he asked me, "As you get skinnier and skinnier does my fat make me look grosser and grosser?"
He was only half serious...that is all that has changed.0 -
My boyfriend is very good looking and he has always has gorgeous girlfriends in the past. He is the perfect body weight and so are all his brothers, sisters and friends. I feel so disgusting around him and I know he thinks Im fat and should lose weight. He is very weight conscious of himself and freaks if he puts on 1 kg! He's never rude but he does subtly mention my weight and need to lose it. For example he suggests I rather eat salad than a chicken pie for lunch cause its a lot less fattening. He never calls me beautiful. Sometime says, "you look nice" or "you look pretty" and by that he is referring to the fact that i put make up on or did my hair. He always wants the lights off when we have sex and he doesn't really like me being on top! He doesn't say why but I must look so huge and disgusting from that angle!!
Why are you with this guy he sounds so mean.
My boyfriend (who I started dating at my heaviest) is supportive and helpful for the weight loss and if they aren't willing to be great to you at any weight than they don't deserve you at your best.0 -
I had a little argument with my significant other the other night.
He made some comments that got me so upset. I felt that he was understimating me and didn't think I could achieve my weightloss goals . I told him that i was on maintance mode and on Jan I would start working out and losing weight again. Yet he couldn't help himself from making little jokes and such.
He told me that my metabolism is slow and that I should wake up at 6am to get it up and running.
I got so mad for I know that my metabolism has improved dramatically, otherwise i would have gained 10 pounds over the holidays.
So I had to put my foot down and tell him that I know how to lose weight and that I know what works for me ..that he may think he is helping me by suggesting and reminding me of what i need to do but honestly to me ..it came off as if he didn't trust me when I said I was going to start in Jan! I began lose qeight mode on december 26 and have lost 2 pounds already.
I keep telling myself I'm doing this for me , I know he means well ..but since he has never been fat, he can't understand just hoe far I have come since ..he didn't see me at my heaviest ..so he is not aware of what im capable of achieving.0
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