Why would anyone want to be “skinny”??!

ANewton401

Think about what it takes to STAY at your maintenance weight: Exercising 3-5 times a week and consistently watching what you eat.

Regular latte INSTEAD non fat skim latte
Bacon Cheeseburger INSTEAD turkey burger, no bun, no cheese
Pizza INSTEAD salad
French Fries INSTEAD cherry tomatoes

F***! I settle for enough things in my life, is it too much to ask that food not be added to the list?

Maybe this is why it has taken me so long to get to my maintenance level-I mean, what the hell am I looking forward to…? A lifetime of kicking my *kitten* at the gym and never eating what I want, when I want? Why would anyone want to be skinny if this is how you have to live? Beside the health benefits and looking great.
I’ll never be able to grab a cheeseburger for lunch and then a couple slices of pizza for dinner. You respond with ‘sure you can, just in moderation’. Again I ask, how is that living? How are you doing what you want, when you want? I don’t want to be a slave to “in-moderation” for fear of being “fat”. I can’t believe THESE ARE MY CHOICES: Be a slave to the “lifestyle” or be fat.

Those of you maintaining, please reason with me and tell me this is NOT how it has to be, or will be. Perhaps then I will reach my goal weight because no one should be scared of the light at the end of the tunnel.

I don’t want my weight to ALWAYS be at the back of my mind when I make every day choices.

Dave198lbs

you can look at it in a more positive way for starters....give that a go

shedoos

It sucks, but that's life. It's all a choice and a compromise.

Wish I could smoke cigarettes and drink Vodka until my heart's content, but that isn't an option unless I want to die far too young.

auticus

It's a genetic lottery. I know plenty of skinny and "tone" people who eat garbage all day everyday and don't gain an ounce. They also don't really work out very often.

You really have an option... think about it. Why don't you want to be fat? For real?

For most people it's because being fat doesn't score you social points. You get nasty looks, nasty comments, it's hard to date, it's very lonely. There are also health reasons but those are honestly not most peoples' primary goal in trying to lose weight and maintain it. Just peruse the forums on this site and you can see that, it's all about how you look, how clothes look on you, not having fat rolls, etc... all visual things.

So it's a trade off. If you want the social points that go along with being not fat, and even better, tone and in athletic in body shape, some people have to work harder for it than others.

If those social points don't really interest you, then don't worry about it and eat what you want.

Chairless

Like you say, you have to be happy with only eating exactly what you want some of the time. The other choices are obsession or weight gain.

Eating whatever you want whenever you want isnt an option unless you want to pile it back on, sorry, no good news on this one.

albinogorilla

I never want to be skinny.
I don't plan on logging once i get to where i want to be, but rather using all this time logging, to make better decisions. You can have a burger, and pizza, etc, I have done it all along the way. Its just a matter of taking it easy the rest of the day, or the next day, and leveling it all out. Its that pizza everyday, and burgers everyday that hurt you. And logging your food shows you how damaging that can be. I consider it a learning tool but don't plan on logging forever.

CynthiaCollin

I have been kind of thinking the same thing lately. I have my last 10lbs to lose and I am finding it difficult. Everytime I eat something I think that I am going to get fat....it is always on my mind.

But once I reach my maintenance weight, I have decided that during the week I will be good and stick to my maintenance calories and exercise 3 times a week to keep fit because I definitely feel better when I am exercising. On weekends I will indulge slighlty more and enjoy the fine foods and drinks life can provide. If I see my weight go up then I will take a week or two and work on bringing it down.

There is no magic answer.... but I know I don`t want to be fat again. I don`t need to be skinny either.... I just want to be healthy and feel good.....

rml_16

You can have all those things. Just not a lot of them. It's about mmoderation, not deprivation.

kimclaws

Yes I second that comment.

amanda07425

Honestly I've thought about that before as well. As much as it's hard to lose weight I'm scared of maintenance too, b/c you'd think you wouldn't have to worry as much about what you eat and how much you need to exercise but you totally do. I love the feeling after a good workout and I won't stop doing that but still the food choices were limited to just to stay the same weight scares me that I will be a slave to counting calories my whole life. I'm definitely interested in what the responses are to this..

ChristinaMarie85

You are SO spot on. I think the same thing all the time...... It's pretty f*cuked up. I definitely do not want to be old and still counting every single calorie. It's so exhausting! It's nice to hear someone speak some reality instead of just lollypops and kittens on this site. lol

Lleldiranne

Blah...
I eat the bacon cheeseburger, pizza, or fries (not all at once!) and still am going in the right direction.

The key is moderating it. A once in a while treat? then those foods are fine. Daily fare? You've got more health issues to worry about than your image in the mirror, just around the corner.

Same for exercise. It's part of a healthy lifestyle, not just for weight loss. If you don't get your body moving several times a week, you've got more health issues coming up, too.

mikethom

I don't want to be skinny, I want to be healthy... I want to develop a sustainable lifestyle; and that probably means that, at some level, I will have to continue to count calories and exercise for the rest of my life I can probably "wing-it" to some extent but I will have to be conscious of my diet and make deliberate measured decisions for when I want to splurge on myself or all this effort will have been wasted and I'll end up back where I started or worse...

AnninStPaul

You can have all those things. Just not a lot of them. It's about mmoderation, not deprivation.

ditto

chevy88grl

I've been at or below my original goal weight since Sept 2010.

I eat what I want, when I want it. Yes, I do eat in moderation but let's face it... those huge portions of things you get when you go out to eat? Ridiculous. And who really needs to eat 3 servings of french fries? It isn't about denying yourself the things you enjoy, it is more about learning that you don't need to consume an entire cake -- that one piece IS sufficient. I guess for me, being thinner was worth learning portion control. Americans have a skewed view of "portions", so while you're sitting here lamenting about not being able to eat a big ole cheeseburger or whatever -- realize that you are falling into the same traps when it comes to food.

Read the labels. For heaven's sake, it isn't that hard to follow a serving size of something.

As for the gym. I haven't been to the gym since October. I've been letting two injuries heal - I'm still in my normal weight range. I look "flabby" (to me anyway) when I look in the mirror, but I didn't gain weight outside of my normal range. You do NOT have to go to the gym and bust your butt 5 days a week. I don't and haven't since I hit maintenance. I usually go 2-3 days and workout for an hour each time.


It sounds to me like you've been denying yourself things you enjoy, that you are resentful about following portion sizes, etc. Perhaps this journey isn't making you happy? Don't obsess. Don't worry. Don't over-analyze things. Just relax and enjoy life!

fitaliciag

you can look at it in a more positive way for starters....give that a go

^^^

Shrinking_Xtina

You can have all those things. Just not a lot of them. It's about mmoderation, not deprivation.

^This

plzlbsbegone

Wow, I hear ya! I was thinking around those lines too, but what I tell myself when I am thinking of giving up is this.... I want to be healthy for the rest of my life. I want to be active, because it's fun! I want to look good, always.

i know the road won't end when i get to my goal, it will still be hard work. But alllowing some unheathy foods in some of the time won't be so bad. I know as long as I don't eat like I used to, the way that got me 50lbs overweight, I won't have to work AS hard. I just remember how miserable I felt when I was eating the way I was. I try to remember, EAT to Live, not Live to EAT. There is so much more in the world for me that I want, things more important than food. I don't know if this will help at all, but its something I have to remind myself of ften, or its so easy to slip off the wagon.

fitaliciag

It's a genetic lottery.

not always

bcattoes

Gosh, that's hard to answer. I've been thin most of life, skinny for about half (I'm 50). Yes, I have always thought about my weight. Not every day, but I do consider it when eating most of the time. But I've never eaten a turkey burger without cheese or a bun. When I want a cheeseburger I eat a cheeseburger. When I want pizza, I eat pizza. But, I don't want to eat cheeseburgers everyday so not eating them everyday is not a problem. I don't want them everyday partly because I would be fat if I ate them everyday but mostly because I'd likely be unhealthy if I ate them everyday. And it is possible to make a healthy lower calorie pizza or burger or most foods that are generally not healthy or low cal.

But I eat good food everyday. I don't eat things I don't like, and I don't go hungry. And I drink wine everyday. And, yes, if I don't exercise regularly I gain weight. So, I try to exercise regularly and eat delicious foods that are good for me most of the time, and every now and then I eat things that are not good for me.

It is possible to be thin, well fed and happy.

rebeccap13

I don't want to be skinny, I want to be fit.

Are the french fries really worth not accepting your own body? Is that extra few hours a week because you didn't go workout really worth feeling disgusted with yourself? Not to even mention the health benefits. It's about retraining yourself to eat to benefit your body and not solely eating something because it tastes good. Also, you should be enjoying your workouts even if they are hard work. If it's not at least somewhat fun or gives you a good feeling afterward then you probably haven't found the right workout for you.

I eat a very restricted diet most of the time and I am never as "fed up" as you seem to be about food. Just because it's healthy doesn't mean it can't taste good and fill whatever cravings you're having.

dietfree2012

love this question, lol, i feel that way too...but damn..i want to be slim and trim, lol, unfortunately its a sacrafice...im hoping that in maintainence phase with 3 days of activity (which i dont think is that bad) an overall healthy eating i will be fine having a couple of who cares meals a week...i think the problem is wehn you completely stop caring. All of the progress and time that it will take to get me 30 pounds lighter should install a new lifestyle in me as well. Have fries...a large fries if you want...just not everyday...im friending you because i like your spunk!!! We can do this!

meggonkgonk

Maybe you just need to search out a better balance instead of either extreme of perfect fitness or no fitness. I've maintained for a few months - gone up a little and down a little depending on how I'm feeling. But I never feel like I'm settling- if I want some *kitten* I eat it. Salads are not meals for me. But I try to work in healthy amounts of fruits and veggies and just in doing so I find maintenance fairly easy. I put on about 5-10lbs leading into Christmas so I'm back on a deficit for a bit but even then, I'm just not too stressed.

Maybe you should try re-evaluating what your long term goals are- skinny, eating with abandon, or just being healthy

jacksonpt

My first thought is, "Welcome to adulthood. Very little about life is 'what you want, when you want'."

My second thought is that it's a whole lot easier, and a whole lot more fun if you find things you like/enjoy. If you hate salad, then find something else. There's A TON of gray area between pizza and salad. If you hate the gym, find something else. Get outside, go dancing, etc.

And even if you don't want to hear it, at the end of the day it is about balance and moderation. Have the burger for lunch today, and the pizza for dinner tomorrow. Ihop for breakfast, mcdonalds for lunch and pizza hut for dinner is bad all the way around.

agthorn

I've been maintaining since August and I've eaten every single thing on your "no" list at least once. And plenty more for that matter. It's about balance, otherwise you'll just deprive yourself straight into a binge. But I also occasionally ate some of those things even while I was losing - I just made sure to plan so that I stayed under my net over 2-3 days. For example, I could bike 25 miles and then eat an entire 10" pizza from the wood-fired place up the road from my house, and still meet my net for the day.

witrixie2011

You can have all those things. Just not a lot of them. It's about moderation, not deprivation.

My thoughts exactly.

jennajava

I can’t believe THESE ARE MY CHOICES: Be a slave to the “lifestyle” or be fat.

Actually, it's be a slave to the lifestyle, or be unhealthy and die younger. You seriously would want to CHOOSE to shave years off of your life?

There are SO MANY advantages to eating healthier. Feeling better, living longer, being happier...etc. It must be very draining to have such a negative view. Start eating healthier, and I bet it will help with that.

ETA: Honey, you can eat whatever the heck you want, as long as you don't eat TOO MUCH of it. I eat all of your "no" items on a regular basis.

perdie7

I've struggled with the same thoughts. After four months, and 26 pound gone, eating garbage for 3 days at christmas, and feeling very blah, bloated and sick afterwards, I have come to realize it's not about being skinny (which i still want).

It's about feeling good and being healthy. Being able to get on the floor and play with my grandson. Being able to carry him around. Walking upstairs without getting out of breath. my feet not being in so much pain that I can hardly walk, and I can wear high heals again. Having more energy in general, which is great in helping me keep up with 2 teenager still at home. Since I don't hurt as much, I have a better attitude in general. All this and I've only lost 26 pounds, can't wait till I'm down another 50.

Ahluvly

Hey!
I've read your post a few times and...In my view, this is what it boils down to. We always have a choice in what we do. We don't have to like the options we have before us but, we always have a choice. You need to decide what is most important to you. Eating whatever you want, in whatever quantities OR feeling and looking your best, the best you possibly can. We do not live in a perfect world, life takes work and actions have consequences.

I am a firm believer in, if you want that piece of food, have it, satisfy the need for it if you truly want it. But let's face it, who would want to eat that stuff all of the time?!

Until I started using MFP and really, the last month....I never realised how much damage I've done to my body and emotional state by putting myself under the ridiculous stress that is, trying to get weight off by whatever new diet is out!

For me, I can sustain going to the gym 4 times a week and eating cleaner but I'm looking upon this as a lifestyle change and not a diet or, to merely get to "xlbs" in the short term.

I hope things work out for you. It's tough when frustration sets in...

Think about what it takes to STAY at your maintenance weight: Exercising 3-5 times a week and consistently watching what you eat.

Regular latte INSTEAD non fat skim latte
Bacon Cheeseburger INSTEAD turkey burger, no bun, no cheese
Pizza INSTEAD salad
French Fries INSTEAD cherry tomatoes

F***! I settle for enough things in my life, is it too much to ask that food not be added to the list?

Maybe this is why it has taken me so long to get to my maintenance level-I mean, what the hell am I looking forward to…? A lifetime of kicking my *kitten* at the gym and never eating what I want, when I want? Why would anyone want to be skinny if this is how you have to live? Beside the health benefits and looking great.
I’ll never be able to grab a cheeseburger for lunch and then a couple slices of pizza for dinner. You respond with ‘sure you can, just in moderation’. Again I ask, how is that living? How are you doing what you want, when you want? I don’t want to be a slave to “in-moderation” for fear of being “fat”. I can’t believe THESE ARE MY CHOICES: Be a slave to the “lifestyle” or be fat.

Those of you maintaining, please reason with me and tell me this is NOT how it has to be, or will be. Perhaps then I will reach my goal weight because no one should be scared of the light at the end of the tunnel.

I don’t want my weight to ALWAYS be at the back of my mind when I make every day choices.

RedVelvetCurls

There is a lot of pressure, especially on younger people these days, that skinny is sexy. The media and fashion show us stick-thin models and you read all the comments complimenting their appearance. I feel a lot of pressure from these things anyway, I confess.

One thing that really freaked me out. I was watching Iron Man with a guy who is now my ex (hurhur surprise), and that scene with the cheerleaders appeared. I was still slender then, a UK 12 actually. I had a classic hourglass figure going on and I was confident in myself. But he watched this scene, and growled to himself. I looked at him, confused, and he said "If you looked like THAT, I'd never be able to leave you alone, hahaha!"

Bam, self confidence gone. Self esteem? What's that again? I then gained weight from medication and a very poor student diet, so that didn't help. But I lost him, or gained freedom, should I say.

But yes, long story short, I blame media.

seehawkmomma

You could just start smoking crack that way you dont even want to eat.