Why would anyone want to be “skinny”??!
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I've struggled with the same thoughts. After four months, and 26 pound gone, eating garbage for 3 days at christmas, and feeling very blah, bloated and sick afterwards, I have come to realize it's not about being skinny (which i still want).
It's about feeling good and being healthy. Being able to get on the floor and play with my grandson. Being able to carry him around. Walking upstairs without getting out of breath. my feet not being in so much pain that I can hardly walk, and I can wear high heals again. Having more energy in general, which is great in helping me keep up with 2 teenager still at home. Since I don't hurt as much, I have a better attitude in general. All this and I've only lost 26 pounds, can't wait till I'm down another 50.
:drinker: DITTO!!!!!!!
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1. If that is you in the picture and not some model that you found online, stop and thank God for your good fortune. You are one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. (And I've looked at more than I can count.)
2. Smile and have a better day. I'm sure that you don't feel like this all the time. Rants are fine, but please don't hold onto it.
3. In religion, you don't have to choose between being the pope and burning churches. There is room for some middle ground. I think the same is true in fitness.
4. Accept my friend request. I like friends who are passionate about life. They always have the most interesting takes on things.
***AMEN***
This is GREAT!!!!!0 -
Initially I was just going to bump this cause I would really like to read the answers here too. I'm not looking forward to having to work out every day for the rest of my life either (HATE IT) although I'm liking the results so far. I just have one point to make that may be a valid one for you too.
When I am indulging in whatever I want whenever I want, I may not have my diet obsessively in the back of my mind (although I do to some extent as I'll always know that I'm overeating).... BUT when my body is carrying the extra weight that comes from eating that way the extra weight affects my decisions and controls my life the way that dieting does now. I always feel like I have nothing to wear. I feel like nothing I own looks good on me. I hope I wont bump into people I know when I'm out. I avoid anything swimsuit related (I have missed out on countless last minute weekend trips and other spontaneous ventures because of this). Even when I do accept invitations I feel bad in what I'm wearing. After over-indulging I come home and feel worse. There really is no greener side here.
Like others have said it really is about changing your perspective on what "moderation" means to you. It may sound like a death sentence to you now but with the right outlook maybe it can feel liberating to be able to have a little bit of everything.0 -
Thanks for your post, @ANewton401. I think that this is the first truly serious, thoughtful post that I have read after 3 weeks on MFP.
It also reflects thoughts that I've had myself, but maybe that's why I've lost and gained 50 pounds two or three times in my life and am now in the situation where I need to loose twice that.
It has to be me. I must be doing something wrong to keep yo-yoing like this. I want to eat pizza one day, Chinese take out the next and go to an all-you-can buffet the day after that. Using MFP, I've learned that (1) you can't eat as much as you want of food like this (junk food, really) day after day, and expect to maintain a reasonable weight and (2) you can eat *some* of these foods in moderation. Furthermore, you can have a "cheat" day now and again or include a day (or two) where you eat maintenance calories in your weekly schedule and still loose weight as long as you're under your *weekly* calorie goal for weight loss (see my diary).
I'm not sure what my exact plan is going to be when I get to the maintenance stage. I think that I may need to (a) continue to log most days, if not all days and (b) keep an eye on my weight by weighing my self weekly so that I can pull back/reduce calorie intake/increase exercise if I see the scale starting to creep up again.
All I know is that I don't want to be this fat again, but I always have to remember that it can happen to me all too easily (and has before) and that I have a tendency to gain weight if I don't make a conscious effort to control/maintain it.0 -
I've been maintaining my larger weight loss for nearly 5 years now, until I decided to come to MFP and drop further, and it's kind of more of a balancing act than anything. When my weight is within or below my maintaining range, my diet got a bit more liberal. When my weight hit the danger zone (top of my maintenance range), I tightened up my eating and started tracking again. It is frustrating to know that I'll have to monitor my eating for the rest of my life, to some extent or another, but I look at it as just another routine for better health. I mean, I don't like flossing, or brushing my teeth, or other maintenance things like that, but I do them routinely because I know they pay off in the long run. Making healthy eating a habit -- one that you can "cheat" on now and then with those delicious foods you love -- is what makes maintenance a lifelong thing.0
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This is a tough one to answer, because I do not ever desire to be what I personally think of a 'skinny' - fit, strong... yes, and that means (for me and my goals) low bodyfat, but I do not see that as "skinny".
That said, I'm sure some people may describe me that way? (See profile photo collage.)
I don't exercise to be 'skinny'. I exercise because it's my form of PLAY. I like recreational sports. I like to run and jump. My form of entertainment is playing! It's FUN for me. I'm not counting how many calories I burned.
In terms of eating, I personally subscribe to a paleo lifestyle. I'm not saying this is the only way, and I'm not always 100% strict with it. Basically it means I eat fresh meat, produce and nuts and oil. I eat whenever I feel like I'm getting hungry. I NEVER ever feel like, "oh my gosh! I'm so hungry! I wish I could eat more right now." I'm always left satisfied. I have treats sometimes. But truth be told, the thought of a lot of foods such as ice cream and pizza just don't appeal to me. My boyfriend always has a stack of frozen pizzas in the freezer. When he makes them he offers me some and I decline. Because I'm scared of gaining weight? No way! Because it just isn't appetizing to me. I'm learning to make some kick butt stuff! It tastes way better than his pizza and nutty bar in my opinion
I think it's about finding a lifestyle that you are comfortable with and can live with. I couldn't do something in which I felt restricted (and I know many people find paleo to feel restrictive... but for me not so much - to each their own ). The thought of hopping on the treadmill makes me want to gauge my eyes out. So I don't do it! It's about fun and living and play - it's about the movement! For me it's about what Mark Sisson describes in his talk, "The Lost Art of Play" http://www.dietdoctor.com/the-lost-art-of-play-–-mark-sisson-at-ahs11 0 -
I've had pizza - half a pie, not just a slice or two - at least once a week, every week, since I started losing weight over a year ago. I still have bacon cheeseburgers and fries if I go to Chilis or Smokey Bones. I have cake, pie, cookies, and drink wine or cocktails, and I don't feel a slave to anything. Maybe not every day, but on weekends, I'll eat anything that gets in my way!
But I also adopted an attitude that exercise and eating right is a way of treating myself right, so I don't consider running or going to the gym as some kind of punishment. It's a hobby now. Plus, since I never starved myself to lose weight, I maintained my lean muscle mass, and my metabolism didn't suffer.0 -
Yes, getting to and maintaining your "goal weight" can be exhausting, ESPECIALLY IS YOU'VE SET YOUR GOALS TOO LOW... Just because MFP says your "ideal" weight is between XXX-XXX pounds according to BMI, that is not always accurate. Docotrs always told me I need to get below 160 to have a healthy body fat %. I am at 185 pounds now and 21.6% which is smack dab in the middle of "healthy" range.
Now, I personally want to get to like 16% body fat and see how I feel, but I do not plan on agonizing over food just to see the creases in my abdomen... So I think it's really about YOUR EXPECTATION of YOUR LIFE. I enjoy a healthy lifestyle that INCLUDES doing whatever I want, whenever I want; and I realize there is no magic secret to any of this...
Hope you find a positive outlook and attitude soon before you give up!0 -
I don't know about you but I can manage to eat what I want & that moderation thing works for me. It's all a matter of self-discipline & make your health your number one priority instead of your weight.0
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My first thought is, "Welcome to adulthood. Very little about life is 'what you want, when you want'."
My second thought is that it's a whole lot easier, and a whole lot more fun if you find things you like/enjoy. If you hate salad, then find something else. There's A TON of gray area between pizza and salad. If you hate the gym, find something else. Get outside, go dancing, etc.
And even if you don't want to hear it, at the end of the day it is about balance and moderation. Have the burger for lunch today, and the pizza for dinner tomorrow. Ihop for breakfast, mcdonalds for lunch and pizza hut for dinner is bad all the way around.
This is exactly what I thought when I read the post. Seriously if you're not happy with that you're doing it will never work. I've tried diets before and it was miserable and I failed. I don't say I'm on a diet anymore, I eat what I want to an extent and I have found that I like things I would have never even thought to try. A year ago if you told me that a turkey burger was just as good as a hamburger I would have laughed in your face but now I LOVE turkey burgers, I never even think about eating a hamburger! Life is about compromise. If everything you want to eat all the time is unhealthy, then you'll be unhealthy. The point is you can take things that you love that are not the healthiest options and cook them in a way that's better for you.0 -
I'm not sure how long you've been on this journey but I've been "relatively thin" for almost 4 years now. Each of our bodies are different so what applies to me may or may not apply to you. What I have found is that I no longer crave all the garbage that I used to. Its kind of like an ex smoke (which I am) who hates the smell of cigarettes after he quits. Sure I still crave some things, such as pizza, but I don't eat it every day nor would I want to. Just my two cents!
Exactly!! At a certain point, you stop craving it, and eventually dont even enjoy it so much. If I eat some of the things that I used to love, it causes me serious abdominal discomfort! You learn to start craving different healthy things. That is a good feeling!0 -
1. If that is you in the picture and not some model that you found online, stop and thank God for your good fortune. You are one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. (And I've looked at more than I can count.)
2. Smile and have a better day. I'm sure that you don't feel like this all the time. Rants are fine, but please don't hold onto it.
3. In religion, you don't have to choose between being the pope and burning churches. There is room for some middle ground. I think the same is true in fitness.
4. Accept my friend request. I like friends who are passionate about life. They always have the most interesting takes on things.
I love your perspective!
i do to; i think this is the best answer and said in the nicest way...it made me feel better, lol!0 -
I can't tell other people how they should live their lives or what they should or shouldnt eat. What I can say is that its all about priorities and weighing the pros and cons of how I eat and exercise. It took me a year to reach my goal weight, now my friends would consider me skinny (or at least skinnier) and I didnt starve myself or kill myself at the gym to get here. No im not "genetically" gifted, allthough I do gain muscle quickly, my whole family has weight issues and thats where the problem starts with most people I think. If like me, you were raised eating processed foods, sugary sodas, pizza and so on, then those foods are what give you comfort and what seem normal. It wasnt until I adressed my unhealthy emotional ties to food and learned about the benefits of whole foods and moderate (not intense) exercise, that I saw results.
You wouldnt be on this site if you didnt care about your health and nutrition at least somewhat. I used to give up on ever being "skinny" bc I thought it was too hard and the pleasure I got from chicken nuggets and fries was by far better and easier to acheive.
What I didnt take into account was the crash I would get emotionally and physically after eating junk. Take a glazed donut, my carb heroin of choice. Sugary bliss now, but in five mins that high will be replaced by a bloodsugar spike and ill be just as hungry as before. I was misinformed about the right way to diet and I used my workouts as an excuse to eat anything. After learning on my own about proper nutrition and weightloss I no longer find as much joy in eating a burger and actually enjoy working out. I have more energy and feel healthy inside and out and it shows.
I think everyone just needs to figure out what their priorities in life are; will you be happy being overweight, unhealthy and but eating and doing whatever you want. If so then do what makes you happy. However you can be healthy with a good diet, I eat 6 times a day and am rarely hungry. Also theres no need to kill yourself in the gym, unless you are into that kind of thing. I lifted weights and did barely any cardio (maybe 25 mins 2x a week.) Your body hits a fatburning plateau after a while and High Intensity (or short bursts for 30s followed by 2 min rest) is much more effective and cuts your cardio time! Also in my opinion diet and the desire
to change is 80% of the struggle with weightloss.
Just plz be careful about the type of relationship you have with food and your body. Being comfortable in your own skin, no matter your weight is what I consider the key to happiness. So evaluate what really makes you happy and why it does and invest your
time and energy into it.0 -
I know for me the choice is easy, I will do what ever it takes to never be fat again. No matter what!
But to each their own.0 -
you can look at it in a more positive way for starters....give that a go
This. Really, you need to change your mindset. No, it's not about being positive about everything, but it is about thinking differently. Quite frankly, it should be about being healthy, not skinny. Changing that right there would probably help. And think about it - if you go back to your old ways, are you going to be any happier than you are now? Then you would just be thinking how "fat" you are and how you wish you could be "skinny" (in your current mode of thought). Do you have to be able to have a cheeseburger for lunch AND pizza for dinner? Are you not happy having just one?
You might want to try reading The Pleasure Trap for some perspective on food/diet. And, sorry, but if you're complaining about not being able to have a full fat latte instead of a skim latte - REALLY? Is it that big a deal? If that's your biggest gripe in life count yourself lucky. Embrace your weight loss for health, have your treats in moderation, and accept that these are the choices you have to make if you want to look a certain way and live a longer life (with fewer chances of health issues along the way).0 -
You look fairly skinny to me...0
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you can look at it in a more positive way for starters....give that a go
^^^
This for starters and how about this...maybe try a little experiment
For ONE week, eat how you use to, don't count calories, don't work out and I am willing to BET that you will feel like *kitten*
Think of your energy level now, compared to before. Think of all the things you can do NOW that you couldn't do then.
Want a burger? Buy the leanest meat you can find, grill it - NOT FRY.
Want a pizza? Opt for thin crust, light cheese, veggies, blot off the grease
French Fries? Make homemade
Find better substitutes and realize it's NOT just about your appearance but what those things are doing to you on the inside.
Working out should not be a chore but something you MUST do for your body, just like brushing your teeth and showering, IMO0 -
you can look at it in a more positive way for starters....give that a go
You might want to try reading The Pleasure Trap for some perspective on food/diet.
Who is the author of The Pleasure Trap?0 -
try having a cheat day set.. mine was every sunday.. i still lost the pounds, but i hated when i would actually cheat.. you will appreciate the changes youre making for yourself. i promise0
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You can have all those things. Just not a lot of them. It's about mmoderation, not deprivation.
Ditto this. There are also plenty of tasty nutritional foods. You can make your own cheesburger and pizzas that are healthier than the fast food joints. You should to try look at it more positively. Maintenance will be very hard if you are constant thinking about how miserable it is that you are missing out on foods.0 -
You can still eat what you want and be thin. It's called portion control.
Chin up girl!0 -
I eat whatever the f**k I want, just in moderate amounts. And yeah, I binge occasionally too. That's life. I want to be fit and lean, not a skinny *****. It's a compromise, but it's so worth it. Healthy life = long life.0
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My first thought is, "Welcome to adulthood. Very little about life is 'what you want, when you want'."
My second thought is that it's a whole lot easier, and a whole lot more fun if you find things you like/enjoy. If you hate salad, then find something else. There's A TON of gray area between pizza and salad. If you hate the gym, find something else. Get outside, go dancing, etc.
And even if you don't want to hear it, at the end of the day it is about balance and moderation. Have the burger for lunch today, and the pizza for dinner tomorrow. Ihop for breakfast, mcdonalds for lunch and pizza hut for dinner is bad all the way around.
^ This.0 -
BUMPING this because I have to get back to work but as I am down to the last 3 pounds and about to start working on maintenance...definitely want to come back and read everyone's interesting responses.0
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you can look at it in a more positive way for starters....give that a go
I agree with this!0 -
All i can say is...look at the picture on the right. You have an amazingly hot body that you should be proud of...yes, you have to work for it...and you have to decide if that's worth it. This is about determining your lifestyle and if keeping that body doesn't fit in with the lifestyle you want to have...you need to decide what you can be happy with on both ends. I'm working my butt off to get to that fitness level on the right...I can be happy where I am...but I want to see how difficult it is to maintain THAT.0
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Think about what it takes to STAY at your maintenance weight: Exercising 3-5 times a week and consistently watching what you eat.
Regular latte INSTEAD non fat skim latte
Bacon Cheeseburger INSTEAD turkey burger, no bun, no cheese
Pizza INSTEAD salad
French Fries INSTEAD cherry tomatoes
F***! I settle for enough things in my life, is it too much to ask that food not be added to the list?
Maybe this is why it has taken me so long to get to my maintenance level-I mean, what the hell am I looking forward to…? A lifetime of kicking my *kitten* at the gym and never eating what I want, when I want? Why would anyone want to be skinny if this is how you have to live? Beside the health benefits and looking great.
I’ll never be able to grab a cheeseburger for lunch and then a couple slices of pizza for dinner. You respond with ‘sure you can, just in moderation’. Again I ask, how is that living? How are you doing what you want, when you want? I don’t want to be a slave to “in-moderation” for fear of being “fat”. I can’t believe THESE ARE MY CHOICES: Be a slave to the “lifestyle” or be fat.
Those of you maintaining, please reason with me and tell me this is NOT how it has to be, or will be. Perhaps then I will reach my goal weight because no one should be scared of the light at the end of the tunnel.
I don’t want my weight to ALWAYS be at the back of my mind when I make every day choices.
Judging by your profile photo, I don't know why you're worried? Looks like you're already "maintaining".0 -
Everything in life is hard. Get over it. Welcome to being a grown up!0
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you can look at it in a more positive way for starters....give that a go
You might want to try reading The Pleasure Trap for some perspective on food/diet.
Who is the author of The Pleasure Trap?
Lisle and Goldhamer. I'm in the middle of it right now. Not everyone would buy into everything the book is about (and it's led me to other areas that I would like to research, even areas not having to do with diet), but it offers a very interesting perspective about overeating. I think any book that provides an opportunity for self-reflection about choices is valuable.0 -
1st, I am now a long distance runner - and the heavier you are the harder you have to work at it to get to the finish line at a marathon and I am trying to get my time down so the skinner you are, the less calories you burn and the faster you can run
2nd, I have 3 daughters (twins 15, and a 17 year old). I have to look at them and how it would be if I was in Heaven and they were stuck back here on this earth.
3rd, when I was fat - Jan 1, 2011 - weighed 290(ish), today, I weigh 212 - my blood pressue is normal, I dont take any medication for anything (except allergies - and I have no control over this).
Last... I feel GREAT! All of my issues that I had when I was fat are GONE! I now run 30-35 miles a week! Only problems I have now are some knee pain when I do a 11+ mile run but thats normal for long distance runners.
When I was fat - I had high blood pressure: 160/95 and my resting heart rate was 75-80. Now, my blood pressure is 115/70 and my resting heart rate is 55-60!! Thats what a professional athlete has! I went from 42" jeans to 34's! I have a TON of energy! My kids like the new me 0
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