Cheating Question for guys ! HELP

SuperMoniMonk

girls or guys !
I just read this text on my fiance´s cell

´. You must be tired babe ..from working all day..but next time I see you I will give you a nice massage..-;

I say no more wedding .

he says he has nothing with her ..and she is the one wanting to hook up with him.
I´m sitting here typing but truly I´m very dissapointed.

pinkgigi

*hugs*

ninyagwa

I'm so sorry you had to find a text like that. *big squeezes* I would call the HO-me wrecker and confront her. But I'm an aggressive personality so it's in my nature.

_snw_

that pretty much just sucks. Sorry.


The massage ~could~ be just her trying to be flirty with him, but calling him "babe"? Still, that could be just her. If this was the only thing you have EVER questioned him about and this totally is out of the blue, i can see the benefit of the doubt. But I only allow that to happen one time. Anymore than that is too much.

Rayman79

Edited my post... missed a point at the end of your post.

If he says she wants to hook up with him, he either needs to make it clear that he is not interested upfront or he needs to get out. Either he intends to have something with her, or is stroking his own ego by stringing her along... either way this is not what your relationship needs.

Honesty is always the key, and if you are going to enter a lifelong partnership with someone there must be honesty and trust in equal measure from both parties. He either steps up, or steps out!

_snw_

I'm so sorry you had to find a text like that. *big squeezes* I would call the HO-me wrecker and confront her. But I'm an aggressive personality so it's in my nature.

bah. forget the girl. if she IS a homewrecker, she's already a part of the cesspool of society - no need to kneel down to her level - you are so better than that. What would confronting her do? She already knows she is a wh0re - she'd give you zero satisfaction. The person you need to talk to is your guy.

oberon0124

I am sorry to say this but it is just as much his fault. If he was really serious he would have taken care of this woman by now. Part of not cheating on your spouse is not putting yourself in a position for it to happen. He needed to remove the temptation my friend and he has chosen not to. I say the writing is on the wall!!

Vodkha

I would say that if the word 'babe' weren't in there, it could be harmless, but I'd be concerned about it. Hugs.

SuperMoniMonk

We are meant to be getting married at the end of the month..he has two daughter..and then we are to arrange visas to move to australia...I don´t think I can be with him anymore...I´m risking too much. marrying a cheater..i rather we alone..

I should be crying ut im not ..im just shocked . I wrote down her phone number and he didnt want me to call her ..i did and there was no answer.

We are meant to be calling her tommorrow to clear things up . im staying at his place..and there is no friend or family member to talk to right now ..plus in think its not the time too. thanks for the hugs girls

SuperMoniMonk

I am sorry to say this but it is just as much his fault. If he was really serious he would have taken care of this woman by now. Part of not cheating on your spouse is not putting yourself in a position for it to happen. He needed to remove the temptation my friend and he has chosen not to. I say the writing is on the wall!!

that´s what i said to him. he deleted text he send to her.. and those were there cuz he was falling asleep. Im not into checking cells ...igrabbed it thinking it was mine and notice something unsual.

DakotaKeogh

This breaks my heart. I lost my wife to a cheat 10 years ago after 14 years and 3 kids. I guess all I can say is it's MAYBE better to find out now. One way or the other it sucks and I'm so so so so sorry.

ScatteredThoughts

that´s what i said to him. he deleted text he send to her.. and those were there cuz he was falling asleep. Im not into checking cells ...igrabbed it thinking it was mine and notice something unsual.

The fact that he deleted the texts to her seems rather suspicious. If they were innocent, or showed him trying to brush her off, there would be no need to do so.

bcampbell54

Wedding is off until he decides what he wants to do. Pull my bro card, but I'm telling you like it is.
And you know it too, else you wouldn't have 'accidentally' picked up his phone.
Deleting his texts back to her? Really, who does that?

oberon0124

I am sorry to say this but it is just as much his fault. If he was really serious he would have taken care of this woman by now. Part of not cheating on your spouse is not putting yourself in a position for it to happen. He needed to remove the temptation my friend and he has chosen not to. I say the writing is on the wall!!

that´s what i said to him. he deleted text he send to her.. and those were there cuz he was falling asleep. Im not into checking cells ...igrabbed it thinking it was mine and notice something unsual.

I say that if he has texted her back in any way it proves my point. He chooses to keep the banter going with this woman. If he was true to your relationship there should have been one text back toi her telling her that this was not apropriate and that it was to stop. There should have been no more text either way!

SuperMoniMonk

This breaks my heart. I lost my wife to a cheat 10 years ago after 14 years and 3 kids. I guess all I can say is it's MAYBE better to find out now. One way or the other it sucks and I'm so so so so sorry.

thank you i choose to trust and give myself a chance again. Latelly i was feeling so much pressure and doubting this engagement ...i prayed for a sigh..and i got it ..better now than getting married than moving overseas .

SuperMoniMonk

Wedding is off until he decides what he wants to do. Pull my bro card, but I'm telling you like it is.
And you know it too, else you wouldn't have 'accidentally' picked up his phone.
Deleting his texts back to her? Really, who does that?

its really weird how it happend. but something pushed me to do it. im just numb..and in a way thankful it happened now.

SuperMoniMonk

Edited my post... missed a point at the end of your post.

If he says she wants to hook up with him, he either needs to make it clear that he is not interested upfront or he needs to get out. Either he intends to have something with her, or is stroking his own ego by stringing her along... either way this is not what your relationship needs.

Honesty is always the key, and if you are going to enter a lifelong partnership with someone there must be honesty and trust in equal measure from both parties. He either steps up, or steps out!

thanks ... There is a 6th sense ..the other day he chose to wear a polo shirt that he wears to nice places only. and wore too much cologne..it did tickle my sense. seems just seem to be pointing to that . and other facts that are just wrong. my family is going to be crushed .

oberon0124

Edited my post... missed a point at the end of your post.

If he says she wants to hook up with him, he either needs to make it clear that he is not interested upfront or he needs to get out. Either he intends to have something with her, or is stroking his own ego by stringing her along... either way this is not what your relationship needs.

Honesty is always the key, and if you are going to enter a lifelong partnership with someone there must be honesty and trust in equal measure from both parties. He either steps up, or steps out!

thanks ... There is a 6th sense ..the other day he chose to wear a polo shirt that he wears to nice places only. and wore too much cologne..it did tickle my sense. seems just seem to be pointing to that . and other facts that are just wrong. my family is going to be crushed .

Your family should rally behind you and be thankful that you found this out before you were married!! My oldest daughter had this same thing happen to her when she was planning to be married!!!. We had already spent five thousand on the wedding preperations. My response to her was I was glad we found out now before the wedding when she was concerned about the money already spent. Your family will be there for you my friend!!!

Rayman79

Everything else aside. DO NOT think about what your family will say or feel.. This is about you and noone else. If it is not right to pursue your engagement, then end it.

Look after yourself firstly, others will understand the reasons for your decision, either now or in due time.

Things will work out, I am so sorry that you have to go through this and that you dont have the support of friends or family to be with you at this time.

When you do eventually make it to Australia, I'll be glad to buy you a coffee and give you a hug =D

OutiR

Tricky situation. Would be good to know the other lady's motivation for smss like that. Phone call might not be enough since in worst case scenario they have already discussed how to deal it. Meeting the woman face to face would let you see her (and his) bodylanguage which would most likely reveal if there really is anything to worry about or not.

It's not a minor thing to get married and even shift abroad together - everything has to be crystal clear in this point to be able to start life together. Big decisions, naturally you want to make them in steady ground without any doubts and you are entitled to it.

And yes, he is as much faulty as the woman even if "nothing has happened" (yet). Letting flirting continue and "come to home" (= giving his private number to her) is NOT allright. It is very easy to tell such people that he is in happy relationship and is not interested in others in any way. I have done it millions of times and got no problems doing that. People back off when situation is made clear. It's time him also learn to do this if he is serious with you.

SuperMoniMonk

Edited my post... missed a point at the end of your post.

If he says she wants to hook up with him, he either needs to make it clear that he is not interested upfront or he needs to get out. Either he intends to have something with her, or is stroking his own ego by stringing her along... either way this is not what your relationship needs.

Honesty is always the key, and if you are going to enter a lifelong partnership with someone there must be honesty and trust in equal measure from both parties. He either steps up, or steps out!

thanks ... There is a 6th sense ..the other day he chose to wear a polo shirt that he wears to nice places only. and wore too much cologne..it did tickle my sense. seems just seem to be pointing to that . and other facts that are just wrong. my family is going to be crushed .

Your family should rally behind you and be thankful that you found this out before you were married!! My oldest daughter had this same thing happen to her when she was planning to be married!!!. We had already spent five thousand on the wedding preperations. My response to her was I was glad we found out now before the wedding when she was concerned about the money already spent. Your family will be there for you my friend!!!

thank you really thank you. I know I rather be along than settle with someone who doesn´t think im good enough to be faithful too. in a way i feel like a weigh lifted of my shoulders..for I had doubts about the whole thing and didn´t want to b th one to quit it. i know my mom will be sad bc she knew i truly believed in this guy.

MelMoly

I wouldn't worry about it... unless it says lets meet up

but I'm sorry you had to find it... I would talk to him and find out whats going on.. if he doesn't tell you what you want to know... call her, she more than likely wont lie...

oberon0124

Edited my post... missed a point at the end of your post.

If he says she wants to hook up with him, he either needs to make it clear that he is not interested upfront or he needs to get out. Either he intends to have something with her, or is stroking his own ego by stringing her along... either way this is not what your relationship needs.

Honesty is always the key, and if you are going to enter a lifelong partnership with someone there must be honesty and trust in equal measure from both parties. He either steps up, or steps out!

thanks ... There is a 6th sense ..the other day he chose to wear a polo shirt that he wears to nice places only. and wore too much cologne..it did tickle my sense. seems just seem to be pointing to that . and other facts that are just wrong. my family is going to be crushed .

Your family should rally behind you and be thankful that you found this out before you were married!! My oldest daughter had this same thing happen to her when she was planning to be married!!!. We had already spent five thousand on the wedding preperations. My response to her was I was glad we found out now before the wedding when she was concerned about the money already spent. Your family will be there for you my friend!!!

thank you really thank you. I know I rather be along than settle with someone who doesn´t think im good enough to be faithful too. in a way i feel like a weigh lifted of my shoulders..for I had doubts about the whole thing and didn´t want to b th one to quit it. i know my mom will be sad bc she knew i truly believed in this guy.

You my friend are not the one to quit your relationship, he is. He quit it when he decided to carry on with this woman!! Your mom may be sad at first but her anger should be towards him for treqating her daughter this way!

TinaS88

I'm so sorry you had to find a text like that. *big squeezes* I would call the HO-me wrecker and confront her. But I'm an aggressive personality so it's in my nature.

I would do the same!!
Then confront him again, let him know he has the chance to be honest with you, and then if he continues to lie, leave his @$$, you don't deserve that!! If he does come clean and you are willing to work it out and find out what was going on, ask him why he is straying elsewhere, what's going on with him.. etc...

*hugs*

becoming_a_new_me

Telling you this from experience...follow your gut and not your heart. Your heart will tell you lies, but your gut knows the truth. After my experiences, my first instinct is no-way will I be with him. Talk to the HO-me wrecker, but follow what your gut tells you...it won't lie like your heart will. Good luck sweetie!

eatlift

I think he likes her. Or maybe he never had much luck with girls in his early life and doesn't know what else to tell the girl. I dont know.

xginanax

Honestly I think it goes both ways. She is stupid to get with someone else man if that's the case but Its also his fault for letting it happen even if its her that wants him, there's so much he can do like change his number or got you to talk to her so what i think about this, he's going along with it. Guys will always deny deny deny!!

adjones5

I'm so sorry love.

ogosun

it takes "two" to tangle..... so dont' blame the girl , he is probably sends her messages too.... daaaaa

ogosun

Honestly I think it goes both ways. She is stupid to get with someone else man if that's the case but Its also his fault for letting it happen even if its her that wants him, there's so much he can do like change his number or got you to talk to her so what i think about this, he's going along with it. Guys will always deny deny deny!!

finally a "smart women"..... your totally right on....

foxygirlact

he is lying to you. No one deletes texts they have sent unless there is something bad in there.

When I caught my boyfriend cheating he made up all kinds of lies to excuse his messages. It turned out the other girl was in the dark as well. So I called her and we confronted him together, face to face. A bit hard to tell each of us the other girl is a psycho when we were both sitting there