Cheating Question for guys ! HELP
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moving overseas means that for a few months we will be apart ...i can already feel my heart wondering ..is he cheating on me`
would he do that to me again...
I love myself more than that ...that´s not way to live. maybe i dont love him as much.
he will have on chance explain..either way im out of the house ..if he really cares for me ..he would find a way to gain my trust ..if that is even option..i have a feeling i could enjoy being single again ...this whole engagement moving to another country ...was just draining me ..i have to admit.0 -
If you were searching through his phone, there obviously wasn't much trust there to begin with. You should probably sever.
She already said she picked up the phone thinking hers had gone off. I don't think this is a trust issue, I think this is a P*&#y and C*@K issue
Ah, my mistake. I must have missed that.
But obviously if she thinks he's cheating (he probably is) then it IS an issue of trust. How is she to trust him since this is happening? Hm?
i have always believed that trust and privacy is important in an relacionship. tonight..one second i was having a laughter attack ...the room was dark..he was falling asleep..i reach out to where the phone were and once i got to the den i threw it on the couch and noticed it was his not mine. grabbed it looked at the time ..and noticed a name that made gave me that --mmmmm..... moment.
the phone was locked and i couldn´t seem to unlock it ..and was ready to give up...also didnt want him to see that i was messing with his phone...but something pushed me to try and try.
and there were those two text .
locking his phone is also a bad sign and so is the fact he is pretending nothing happened. My ex did that too and made me try and think I was crazy for even suggesting he was cheating. You are not crazy, he is just a good liar0 -
For me, the big red flag is "the next time I see you". The familiarity is also too over the line. I say "no wedding"...for now. If it were my husband, I would have called it off or postponed it unless he could adequately and satisfactorily explained it to me. But really, like I said, the familiarity tells me that isn't the first text calling him "babe" and if there were more, he obviously hasn't made it clear, for one, and two, he hasn't stopped talking to her all together. When a marriage is on the line, you don't mess with that flirty crap.0
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I stand firm on the question "What happened to forgiveness" people in relationships make mistakes. How strong could the relationship be if that's all it takes to end it?What ever happened to forgiveness? Give him a chance to end anything that might be going on and you can have a fresh start. I mean if you were gonna marry him you must love him and walking away won't be easy. The vows you were gonna take say for better or for worse, if you make that commitment then you have to be willing to work through anything.
What ever happened to him being faithful? He is the one that broke this relationship, so don;t make her feel guilty for being strong and walking away.
If he's a cheater now, he'll be a cheater later
All the more reason to end it now before any vows are exchanged.0 -
Thank you all for your time.
I just talked to my sister and she had her doubt that it would workout . I´m 32 years old and I love myself enough to walk away.
it will be hard...but hey i may just lose some weigh right...ughhh..ok not funny..im just feeling weird.:sick:
Thank you guys and ladies ...0 -
If you were searching through his phone, there obviously wasn't much trust there to begin with. You should probably sever.
She already said she picked up the phone thinking hers had gone off. I don't think this is a trust issue, I think this is a P*&#y and C*@K issue
Ah, my mistake. I must have missed that.
But obviously if she thinks he's cheating (he probably is) then it IS an issue of trust. How is she to trust him since this is happening? Hm?
You are right...because of this there will never be trust again. I know this from experience, and it was never pretty. SuperMoniMonk...I know it hurts now, but it is worth it for your own mental well being to walk away.0 -
SHould be no wedding anyway because you obviously don't trust him. I mean if you did trust him you would believe him when he said that he had nothing to do with her and it was all her. So I would call it off based on that.0
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girls or guys !
I just read this text on my fiance´s cell
´. You must be tired babe ..from working all day..but next time I see you I will give you a nice massage..-;
I say no more wedding .
he says he has nothing with her ..and she is the one wanting to hook up with him.
I´m sitting here typing but truly I´m very dissapointed.
This needs to stop. No confronting no one, no blaming others, no forgiving, no thinking it just her trying to be a home wrecker, and no making excuses. They only person you should be angry with is him and him alone unless he is a bad boy and you knew that and still dated him. She is not the problem, its her. He gave her number out to her, he texts her, and he didnt stop her from texting him. In my opinion, he has already cheated based on that alone. If he hadnt then it would eventually would. Im sorry to all who disagrees but I dont care.
If anyone who is married, in a relationship, or engage has no business texting other single people who is trying to hook up with them. Flirting leads to cheating, its never harmless. Cheating hurts everyone that loves the one who was cheated on. You have you proof and so you have to make a discision. First of all, cheaters or intent of cheating rarely admits it so you have to just believe and have faith. If you forgive him and marry him then you just gave the crying kid a candy bar and rewarded him for his bad behavior.
I know its hard and you love him so you probably will forgive him and marry him anyway. I would suggest make it uncomfortable for him, tell his parents about it, make him see a counselor, and make him truely win your trust, not just listen to words. Words are words, make him work his *kitten* off. Actions speak louder than words. He had no business even talking to her and if he did cheat already, i beleive cheaters will always cheat. Ive never cheated but have been cheated on by alot of women so this is why i wrote this, cause i know how it is and am sorry that you are going through it. I wish you well and good luck.0 -
Trust your instincts more than you trust strangers on an internet forum.0
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Sounds like a problem.girls or guys !
I just read this text on my fiance´s cell
´. You must be tired babe ..from working all day..but next time I see you I will give you a nice massage..-;
I say no more wedding .
he says he has nothing with her ..and she is the one wanting to hook up with him.
I´m sitting here typing but truly I´m very dissapointed.
If a guy text'd my wife that, I'd put him in ER and make her explain.
Even if it's innocent, people will remember and think twice before going after what's mine.
I don't cheat, and I expect the same from my SO.
End of story.0 -
What ever happened to forgiveness? Give him a chance to end anything that might be going on and you can have a fresh start. I mean if you were gonna marry him you must love him and walking away won't be easy. The vows you were gonna take say for better or for worse, if you make that commitment then you have to be willing to work through anything.
I disagree with this 100%
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice...
reminds me of night at the museum
but in all seriousness id say think about this very carefully, would you be able to trust him again? and moving countries is a pretty serious decision.
Stay Strong.0 -
Telling you this from experience...follow your gut and not your heart. Your heart will tell you lies, but your gut knows the truth. After my experiences, my first instinct is no-way will I be with him. Talk to the HO-me wrecker, but follow what your gut tells you...it won't lie like your heart will. Good luck sweetie!
What she said ~ hugs to you & let us know how everything turns out. Someone also posted that you should confront her face to face with your guy to read their body language ~ that would be my next step. They wouldn't be able to hide behind a text & you could see their reactions to what was being said. Good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
What ever happened to forgiveness? Give him a chance to end anything that might be going on and you can have a fresh start. I mean if you were gonna marry him you must love him and walking away won't be easy. The vows you were gonna take say for better or for worse, if you make that commitment then you have to be willing to work through anything.
the vows you say? The vows that also say to be faithful to one another etc.?? :huh:
Yeah ok.
However on the other hand, he's a pretty stupid and bad cheater if he's leaving the messages on his phone???? If he's deleting his sent messages why isn't he deleting hers? Unless he trusts you so much to not check his phone.
I have a question, does he ever get paranoid about you cheating? Cos they do say it's the one who questions someone else it's because they are doing it themselves.
I bet you are feeling sick to your stomach but I agree with other posters, follow your gut. Never lies0 -
Leave now.0
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i do feel sick to my stomach..was only able to sleep for 2 hours. i have contacted a friend and asked to be picked up sometime today. i have to talk tol him in an hour when his daughter leaves. all hell will break loose. thanks to all of your advice..0
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girls or guys !
I just read this text on my fiance´s cell
´. You must be tired babe ..from working all day..but next time I see you I will give you a nice massage..-;
I say no more wedding .
he says he has nothing with her ..and she is the one wanting to hook up with him.
I´m sitting here typing but truly I´m very dissapointed.
i agree. i may not love him enough to forgive him.
This needs to stop. No confronting no one, no blaming others, no forgiving, no thinking it just her trying to be a home wrecker, and no making excuses. They only person you should be angry with is him and him alone unless he is a bad boy and you knew that and still dated him. She is not the problem, its her. He gave her number out to her, he texts her, and he didnt stop her from texting him. In my opinion, he has already cheated based on that alone. If he hadnt then it would eventually would. Im sorry to all who disagrees but I dont care.
If anyone who is married, in a relationship, or engage has no business texting other single people who is trying to hook up with them. Flirting leads to cheating, its never harmless. Cheating hurts everyone that loves the one who was cheated on. You have you proof and so you have to make a discision. First of all, cheaters or intent of cheating rarely admits it so you have to just believe and have faith. If you forgive him and marry him then you just gave the crying kid a candy bar and rewarded him for his bad behavior.
I know its hard and you love him so you probably will forgive him and marry him anyway. I would suggest make it uncomfortable for him, tell his parents about it, make him see a counselor, and make him truely win your trust, not just listen to words. Words are words, make him work his *kitten* off. Actions speak louder than words. He had no business even talking to her and if he did cheat already, i beleive cheaters will always cheat. Ive never cheated but have been cheated on by alot of women so this is why i wrote this, cause i know how it is and am sorry that you are going through it. I wish you well and good luck.0 -
we talk ..he had known her from way before and it was wrong to keep in touch with her.
i asked him more and he started getting aggravated . Then fine you cant trust ..i want nothing with you ..and he waited for my reaction.
I was said this was not my fault and if that girl felt she could freely send him texts like that .it because she had allowed it to happend.
did she care of course not...and she didn't bc he does not !
I'm packing ...i need to get out of here.0 -
be strong!
I hate that "well that was it if you don't trust me then that's up to you" crap.
*Go to a mates for the evening and tell him you need to think about what's been said.
*Tell him you till give him an answer to your decision in 48 hours (or longer if you need)
*Then pack a bag and leave. What he does in that next 72 hours can tell a lot and also you are giving yourself a deadline to make a decision.
*You're being the mature one.
*He's gonna get rather worried because you are being so calm about it. You're telling him a decision will be made and when, leaving him no doubt who's in control now!
Go girl!
:flowerforyou:0 -
Where there is smoke, there's fire.
Cut him loose and move on. Life is too short to be in a relationship without trust. He violated that trust.0 -
LEAVE HIM and DON'T LET HIM smooth talk his way back in. I've seen it done before and you will regret it if you take him back.0
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