Cheating Question for guys ! HELP

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  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
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    Any man who says "If you can't trust me then our relationship is over" (or anything similar) is cheating. They are twisting it around, putting you on the defensive and trying to make a break-up your fault. Don't fall for it.
  • DowntimeDesigns
    DowntimeDesigns Posts: 134 Member
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    I'm just going to jump in and say that the name "Babe" implies nothing, I call people Babe all the time. HOWEVER I would be more concerned about the "next time I see you" implying that she had seen him recently.

    I say get out now.
  • AudgePaudge
    AudgePaudge Posts: 537 Member
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    What ever happened to forgiveness? Give him a chance to end anything that might be going on and you can have a fresh start. I mean if you were gonna marry him you must love him and walking away won't be easy. The vows you were gonna take say for better or for worse, if you make that commitment then you have to be willing to work through anything.

    I have to respectfully disagree with this statement...
    '
    I'm so sorry {{hugs}} You really don't want to go one with this marriage if you do happen to find out that he was cheating. You will be setting yourself and him up for misery in the long run. Any one can forgive but who can actually forget?? I know if my husband cheated on me I would never forget and I might resent him and make both of us miserable every day for the rest of my life. Why would you want to live life like this? It's too short to be unhappy, there's a lot of good guys out there for you. Good luck with whatever decision you make.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
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    Oh yay, there's another one!
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
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    I'm just going to jump in and say that the name "Babe" implies nothing, I call people Babe all the time. HOWEVER I would be more concerned about the "next time I see you" implying that she had seen him recently.

    I say get out now.

    ...and the part about the massage.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I think it's pretty obvious that you don't trust him, and it should be obvious to him that he can't trust you, either, since you went through his text messages. I never buy that "I picked up his/her phone by mistake" excuse. If you have the exact same phone as someone else, I can see how you might grab his, thinking it's yours, but I do not see how it's possible to get as far as opening someone else's text messages by mistake.
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    He's garbage. If you have a shred of self-respect... toss him. Now. You caught him red-handed.
  • crisnis
    crisnis Posts: 83 Member
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    I am sorry to say this but it is just as much his fault. If he was really serious he would have taken care of this woman by now. Part of not cheating on your spouse is not putting yourself in a position for it to happen. He needed to remove the temptation my friend and he has chosen not to. I say the writing is on the wall!!
    .

    amen
  • kerriBB37
    kerriBB37 Posts: 967 Member
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    son of a!
    This hits really close to home because a few days ago my best friend in the world found out her husband of 3 years, man of 11 has had a relationship with another woman for the past 6 months. She is absolutely beside herself. She found a few texts and facebook messages over the summer but he talked his way out of it. This time it's over. Their relationship is over and her whole last 11 years of her life are over. :( I would figure out if he's worth it because as someone said earlier, where there's smoke there is fire!!
  • CreepyOne
    CreepyOne Posts: 221 Member
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    Wait! It is possible that not everything is black and white...you know him better than anyone! And trust me, some people are a little psycho......just saying
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    "Cheating Question for guys! HELP!"

    No problem.

    FIRST: Make sure your phone is clean! She'll be looking for any excuse to flip through that thing.

    SECOND: Make sure the women in your life know not to text and call you "babe".


    Wait... I think the title confused me...
  • Onesnap
    Onesnap Posts: 2,819 Member
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    Don't worry about it. Just have an open marriage. (not being sarcastic).

    He's not worth throwing away. You just need to have an honest discussion and act like adults.
  • Onesnap
    Onesnap Posts: 2,819 Member
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    "Cheating Question for guys! HELP!"

    No problem.

    FIRST: Make sure your phone is clean! She'll be looking for any excuse to flip through that thing.

    SECOND: Make sure the women in your life know not to text and call you "babe".


    Wait... I think the title confused me...

    YOU and I are on the same page. :):)
  • vinylscratch
    vinylscratch Posts: 218 Member
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    Any man who says "If you can't trust me then our relationship is over" (or anything similar) is cheating. They are twisting it around, putting you on the defensive and trying to make a break-up your fault. Don't fall for it.

    THIS. THIS. THIS.
  • vinylscratch
    vinylscratch Posts: 218 Member
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    And WE are here for you and have your best interests at heart. You aren't alone! You have a whole site of people rallying behind your health. Not just your physical health, but your happiness too!
  • Onesnap
    Onesnap Posts: 2,819 Member
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    He's garbage. If you have a shred of self-respect... toss him. Now. You caught him red-handed.

    One text not enough to toss him.

    What if the text was sent to the wrong person?
    What if he wants an open relationship?
    What if he's afraid to get married and just acting out of the norm?

    Be HUMAN about it. Take a breath, and treat him with respect. He is human too after all.
  • sweetiepie31612
    sweetiepie31612 Posts: 240 Member
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    Before you make a decision I think you should ask him to get you his phone records. I wouldn't be able to believe anything he has to say without some proof. By getting his phone records you'll be able to see exactly what has been going on between the two of them. If he doesn't agree to give them to you, I think you have to at least postpone the wedding until you figure things out.
  • spacecdt16
    spacecdt16 Posts: 5 Member
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    i asked him more and he started getting aggravated . Then fine you cant trust ..i want nothing with you ..and he waited for my reaction.

    If he said those things, it to me feels like a strange reaction. Shouldn't it be more like him trying to get you to trust him or comming accross anguished that your misunderstanding him? instead he's chosen the well fine guess it wont work responce. sounds like he's trying to blame it falling apart on you so he can walk away with a clear concsence because he didn't end it.

    If this is really whats he's doing then he's a coward who thought he could have his cake and eat it. don't let him do this to you, don't let him blame his doubts , insecurites and failing on you, from what ive read your stonger than that.

    He needs to man up one way or the other, if somehow it was a big misunderstanding he should man up and fight for you for all he's worth, if its not he should man up and be honest and face the music.
  • sjmgde
    sjmgde Posts: 381 Member
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    The fact that you are willing to end that quickly tells me there is moe going on and that you are using this as an excuse. Trust your gut.
  • timadotcom
    timadotcom Posts: 674 Member
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    Seriously i do not understand why people cheat? Why don't they just break up and be with the person they lust after... is it really that hard? or am I just slow in the head..

    All I have to say is be glad this happened now and not after your married, HUGS

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