Why I am not going to be posting on help questions anymore.

chefkev

OP, if you have food sensitivities to sugars or grains, then your situation isn't the 'norm', and yes, people are going to criticize your diary if they don't know all of the facts. I just skimmed this thread, but it sounds to me like you're upset about the way you have been treated because of your special dietary needs, and you're projecting that on to others in the forum, essentially defending them when they may or may not even need it.


Here's the thing. It's the internet. Everyone has an opinion, and we all get to share them. Some people share nicely, others are *kitten*. The onus is on the recipient of the opinions to determine what is useful and what they will do with the information.

It's not about me, it's about the newbies on here getting beat up. I lived through it at the beginning, but I am a tough, old bird.

CaptainGordo

Really? You're comparing today's science to knowledge from a century ago? :huh:

Often, many of us provide facts in the hope of helping someone avoid myths and fallacies that have lead many to failure in the past. How is that not helpful? Often, the truth is not what one wants to hear, and they get buttsore about it. Ignorance is bliss, I guess.

Yes I am. And in 100 years people will look back and say that we are in the dark ages. And it will continue until humans no longer exist. What is not helpful is the condescending attitude that often comes along with it. Much like the attitude you are displaying in your post. That is exactly what the newbies do not need. And yet here you are trying to do it to me. But I know what I am saying and what I mean.
Your "facts" may not agree with my "facts." They both might have "scientific" testing behind them, and they may totally disagree with each other.
You think I am ignorant? That is the exact point of this thread. Thank you for proving my point.

Yes, science will continue to learn more and more about the human body, but it does not mean that much of what has been discovered in our era is incorrect.

chefkev

That is when you look at the "scientific" testing behind both sides and find out about the study design, potential flaws and weaknesses of the study etc etc and you will find more often then not one side is backed with flimsy or junk science and the other with solid evidence supporting it.

Most people don't ever look at the resources behind the articles. I always follow the money.

rml_16

Yes, science will continue to learn more and more about the human body, but it does not mean that much of what has been discovered in our era is incorrect.

That's just crazy talk.

Acg67

That is when you look at the "scientific" testing behind both sides and find out about the study design, potential flaws and weaknesses of the study etc etc and you will find more often then not one side is backed with flimsy or junk science and the other with solid evidence supporting it.

Most people don't ever look at the resources behind the articles. I always follow the money.

Take funding source into consideration, sure. But don’t dismiss data completely based on funding source.

chefkev

[Yes, science will continue to learn more and more about the human body, but it does not mean that much of what has been discovered in our era is incorrect.

I didn't say it was. Not even sure where your posts are coming from. Some people read things that come out today and follow it like a religion without ever looking into it. All I am saying is that not everything out right now is the final word. Knowledge changes with time. I am not closing myself off to something different just because it isn't what I do.

There are plenty of ways to eat that are healthy. Every culture on the planet has a cuisine based on their regions and they are all healthy.

bcattoes

Here here!! It seems for some people that weight loss is like religion or politics. If your beliefs are not the same as mine, you are wrong. And they argue it just as strongly.

CaptainGordo

So when a new person come looking for help, would you rather folks provide anecdotal evidence based on their own experience or the facts that reputable studies have provided to date? based on the odds, what will be more beneficial to them? I am partial to the latter.

Also, when folks shoot down ideas in the forum, it is typically when someone asks about fad or extreme methods (very low cal diet, HCG, cleanses, etc.). When folks have questions about macro percentages, folks are very helpful with good info for the most part.

chefkev

I have spent WAY too much time on this.

So, just be nice to the newbies and don't bash people for eating differently than you.

Be polite, help them succeed.

CaptainGordo

[Yes, science will continue to learn more and more about the human body, but it does not mean that much of what has been discovered in our era is incorrect.

I didn't say it was. Not even sure where your posts are coming from.

I was replying to your comments about burning witches and bloodletting being accepted as good science in the past. It does not mean that today's science is bad.

Elizabeth_C34

I have spent WAY too much time on this.

So, just be nice to the newbies and don't bash people for eating differently than you.

Be polite, help them succeed.

LOL so after you post this topic and make a big stink out of why people on here are so awful, you just up and leave when politely challenged or asked to clarify? That's really helpful.

Iron_Biker

The key to losing weight is adopting a sound, sustainable eating plan and then sticking with it, rather than opting for some wacko quick fix diet.

'nuff said.

Amen.

bestrodeo

There are so many people on here that talk as if the way they are telling people to eat is the only way. I am fed up with people answering newbies questions with a condiscending tone. I eat the way I do because it works for my body. People out there are asking for help for a particular diet plan and people who don't like it blast them. Guess what? that wasn't what they asked!

If they want to know about how you eat, they will ask for that kind of help!

Just about ANY major diet plan is better than taking diabetes pills for the rest of your life! So, back off "know-it-alls"!
These newbies don't need the attitude. They probably feel sheepish enough just coming on here. They probably have been teased and taunted for years, just to come here and be talked down to. Great, that's what they need.

So many people like to say "it's a published fact that...." Really? You want to go there? It was also a public fact that you had to burn witches. It was also "Medically" correct to blood let. So, don't give me your lecture about this stuff.

If you want to help people, do so in a polite way. Answer their questions. Don't bash their diet. Be constructive in your criticism.

AMEN... YOU GO!!!

livinginwoods

I agree. I remember one of the first questions I asked on here and I got some very snarky remarks and comments and I bit my tongue and never responded back to them. But I do remember you posting on there and you answered my question nicely. It is also the usual offenders who can get quite rude. Guess that is part of the internet mind set and always will be. Gotta take the good with the bad but for more sensitive newbies it could drive them away and confuse them instead of encourage them.

I only have a pink scarf, I wonder if it would still work?

flimflamfloz

It helps to put a mental ignore on such fellas and simply enjoy the people who are not like that .

You can also use the "ignore user" feature below the user picture, no need to do any mental work any more.

MissFit0101

It's the internet. This is a public forum. Everyone has an opinion and yes everyone thinks their way is the right way. No people don't need to be so rude when they disagree about something but that's just life and if you can't handle it here then maybe it's a good idea to stay out of the forums.

padraigin67

So widh there was a like button. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate peoples comments and decide which ones I want to take to heart. Being one of the newer people on here it has been helpful input. Ultimately though I decide what is best for me. Example boosting dairy for me would be deadly so I won't be doing that but the red scarf is doable as long as it is not wool. :laugh:

takehimaway

I'll be wearing my red scarf today. :0)

Mine is in the wash! -huffs-

Here here!! It seems for some people that weight loss is like religion or politics. If your beliefs are not the same as mine, you are wrong. And they argue it just as strongly.

I, for one, don't understand some diets, but that's not for me to judge. Like, why people eat all meat or all fat or all carbs or all whatevers? But, I'm not a doctor, so if that's what works for them, that's what works for them. I think I'm on the pasta diet.. I bet there is. -giggles-

Deipneus

I first noticed this phenomenon at the forum at caloriecount.com. Some people have success and think they've found The One And Only Way. There are a lot of ways to achieve success and all of them have the same core principles, but there are as many variations as there are people.

ekqueen

I agree 100000%

jenn_is_trouble

I think that if people want answers/advice/whatever on these specific diets/lifestyles/whatever, they need to post such questions to a thread in a group that is specific to that topic. If they don't, they should be prepared for the comments they are going to get out in the general forum.

Just my opinion...

IrishHarpy1

Eating and exercising are like a religion to some people -- everyone thinks that their way is the "one truth," and <insert deity/non-deity of your choice here> forbid that you deviate from what *they* think is right. And they will occasionally try to force it down your virtual throat.

What works for some will not work for others... but it won't stop people from trying to impose their opinions on you.

jconnon

I do agree with your premise about being polite when replying to questions, absolutely. People can get too caught up in their own agenda and reply quite rudely and it turns people away from the forums.

But at the same time, there's certainly an overwhelming amount of dietary myth out there that only serves to complicate an already frustrating process. I think it's important to educate people.

If someone posts the Red Scarf No Cheese Diet, where they are to do the following:

1) Eat at a calorie deficit.
2) Exercise
3) Don't eat cheese
4) Wear a red scarf all day.

I'll be quick to point out which of the above items are important and which ones aren't necessary, regardless of whether or not they asked that information.

But, as it pertains to your post, I'll try to be polite when doing so.

Are you sure about the cheese? Not sure I can live without that

dreamshadows

I do agree with your premise about being polite when replying to questions, absolutely. People can get too caught up in their own agenda and reply quite rudely and it turns people away from the forums.

But at the same time, there's certainly an overwhelming amount of dietary myth out there that only serves to complicate an already frustrating process. I think it's important to educate people.

If someone posts the Red Scarf No Cheese Diet, where they are to do the following:

1) Eat at a calorie deficit.
2) Exercise
3) Don't eat cheese
4) Wear a red scarf all day.

I'll be quick to point out which of the above items are important and which ones aren't necessary, regardless of whether or not they asked that information.

But, as it pertains to your post, I'll try to be polite when doing so.

That won't be my diet! I think I'm part mouse as I love cheese!

CrazyDaisysMommy

If you want to help people, do so in a polite way. Answer their questions. Don't bash their diet. Be constructive in your criticism.

I love that you wrote this. I try to limit myself to the success stories because it seems like on the other boards some people make a sport out of making others feel stupid. I don't understand why people feel it's acceptable to be snarky online when that kind of attitude would get them kicked in front of cab if they spoke that way to people face to face.

GingerDarlene

The only thing I am getting from this is to "Quit the Meaness", that should go without saying, but you have that group of folks out there that cannot help themselves. Can't we all just get along, and be nice.

Crystal_Pistol

My 2 cents- I hate it when people tell a new person a topic is beaten to death. If you are gonna take the time to do that, don't- a link pointer would be more helpful. Now the other stuff- I LOVE getting facts. I have read great articles that have led me to make informed decisions about my health and I am reaping the benefits of that info.

I don't think presenting information is being an *kitten*. People can bull**** all day, but they know the difference between being an *kitten* and not. Am I ever an *kitten*? Yes! Usually when the OP is given some sound advice and becomes hostile defending something that is ridiculous. I also tend to respond in kind with regard to the tone of my posts.

I can tell you that I want to post "EAT B*TCH!!!" 100% of the time on posts about low calories. I have yet to do so. Why not? Because there are non-*kitten* ways to say it. I use the polite euphemisms. Will I post a study though? ABSOLUTELY. There is no more polite a way to debunk a myth than with science.

If you stop posting, I think it is unfortunate. If you have grown thicker skin as a result of your time here, you should hang around to help the newbies.

ArroganceInStep

I do agree with your premise about being polite when replying to questions, absolutely. People can get too caught up in their own agenda and reply quite rudely and it turns people away from the forums.

But at the same time, there's certainly an overwhelming amount of dietary myth out there that only serves to complicate an already frustrating process. I think it's important to educate people.

If someone posts the Red Scarf No Cheese Diet, where they are to do the following:

1) Eat at a calorie deficit.
2) Exercise
3) Don't eat cheese
4) Wear a red scarf all day.

I'll be quick to point out which of the above items are important and which ones aren't necessary, regardless of whether or not they asked that information.

But, as it pertains to your post, I'll try to be polite when doing so.

Dude, back off the red scarf! It works!!!!

kit548emt

Agreed! And just because something worked for one person doesn't mean the exact same thing/plan/whatever will work just as well for another person. Everyone is different. Not everyone starts this knowing everything there is to know about diet and exercise or they wouldn't have weight issues to begin with. New information and ideas are great but there is no need to be a jerk about it. Approach is everything!

metco89

I agree kicking ppl when they are down is not the way to go. This site is designed to help us all and offer a way for us to support each other. What works for one in the healthy eating realm may not work for another. I am very opened minded to all healthy eating plans. In other words desperate for help! I may not agree with someone's plan and some may not agree with mine. I say do whatever works for you and do more of it!!!! Can we all just get along and help each other in a positive manner on this journey? That would be great.