What are your best comebacks?

CaptainGordo · January 2012

"DUDE!"

Works every time.

carrie145 · January 2012

i don't have 'catch-all' comeback, i tailor make them on the spot!

although there are a couple of ready mades which amuse me;

"i may be fat, but you're ugly - & i can go on a diet"

"if i wanted to listen to an a**e-hole, i'd have farted"

hehe:laugh:

UponThisRock · January 2012

"F you, that's why"

mukamom · January 2012

You blow goats

:laugh: :laugh:

EmpressOfJudgment · January 2012

I'm rubber and your glue.

TheRoadDog · January 2012

"It's not important who is right. It's important that YOU know I'm right."

ToBeSmaller · January 2012

Look, I don't come down to your job, slapping male genitalia out of your mouth, why are you messing with me?

THIS MADE MADE LAUGH OUT LOUD - NICELY DONE!

I'm a huge "so's your face" and "your mother" fan. And no my children are not immune to these responses, but only when it doesn't make sense at all. I'd never "your mother" or "so's your face" them if they said something like "this is ugly" - too cruel. Still funny, but cruel.

MissO﹠A · January 2012

My most eloquent: "You know what? You can just go right to hell, c*ntface."

TheRoadDog · January 2012

My Dad had a few great ones:

"If I come in there, I'm gonna fill the room with uppercuts."

"Why don't you use your head for something besides a hat rack."

erickirb · January 2012

I stole mine from Stifler from American Pie 2 "I have a better idea, how about I give you a spoon and you eat my *kitten*"

AtticusFinch · January 2012

in the right circumstance:

"I think you're talking through an orifice in your body not normally associated with verbal communication"

nevareg · January 2012

"your mom goes to college"

TheRoadDog · January 2012

Stole this one from Chuck Norris, but I love using it:

"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you."

k2quiere · January 2012

My grandmother always said "You must be talking out your *kitten* because your mouth knows better."

Tropical_Turtle · January 2012

Sucks to be you, you dumb tw*twaffle

TheRoadDog · January 2012

ooops. Forgot my all-time favorite for when someone is telling me their sad tale:

"I feel a tear running down my leg."

LuckyLeprechaun · January 2012

Look, I don't come down to your job, slapping male genitalia out of your mouth, why are you messing with me?

<---currently sitting in a silent classroom while my students write. This made me silently laugh so hard, I have tears running down my face.

brilliant:sad: :laugh:

maryjay51 · January 2012

how about you kiss my *kitten* ....or wow im sorry to hear that -- after they give me their opinion on smething i disagree with .

amayzingamanda · January 2012

my dad uses this one on me all the time... "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"
and my recent favorite.... "How old are you?" <--- said very calmly as if it were part of a normal conversation.

Both pretty much confuse the other person enough that there's a huge pause and you can just smile and walk away.

supergirlie00 · January 2012

here comes the whambulance

1. Whambulance : The imaginary rescue vehicle that will rescue you from someone's incessant whining over a trivial matter. Used mockingly, but in good humor.

Gotta love urban dictionary!

76tech · January 2012

I have a medical condition called L'esprit de l'escalier. OK maybe not so much a medical condition as late timing...it means thinking of a really snappy comeback after it's useful.