What are your best comebacks?

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  • AtticusFinch
    AtticusFinch Posts: 1,263 Member
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    in the right circumstance:

    "I think you're talking through an orifice in your body not normally associated with verbal communication"
  • nevareg
    nevareg Posts: 260 Member
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    "your mom goes to college"
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    Stole this one from Chuck Norris, but I love using it:

    "When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you."
  • k2quiere
    k2quiere Posts: 4,151 Member
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    My grandmother always said "You must be talking out your *kitten* because your mouth knows better."
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
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    Sucks to be you, you dumb tw*twaffle
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    ooops. Forgot my all-time favorite for when someone is telling me their sad tale:

    "I feel a tear running down my leg."
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    Look, I don't come down to your job, slapping male genitalia out of your mouth, why are you messing with me?

    <---currently sitting in a silent classroom while my students write. This made me silently laugh so hard, I have tears running down my face.

    brilliant:sad: :laugh:
  • maryjay51
    maryjay51 Posts: 742
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    how about you kiss my *kitten* ....or wow im sorry to hear that -- after they give me their opinion on smething i disagree with .
  • amayzingamanda
    amayzingamanda Posts: 254 Member
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    my dad uses this one on me all the time... "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"
    and my recent favorite.... "How old are you?" <--- said very calmly as if it were part of a normal conversation.

    Both pretty much confuse the other person enough that there's a huge pause and you can just smile and walk away.
  • supergirlie00
    supergirlie00 Posts: 169
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    here comes the whambulance

    1. Whambulance : The imaginary rescue vehicle that will rescue you from someone's incessant whining over a trivial matter. Used mockingly, but in good humor.

    Gotta love urban dictionary!
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
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    I have a medical condition called L'esprit de l'escalier. OK maybe not so much a medical condition as late timing...it means thinking of a really snappy comeback after it's useful.
  • ItsAliciaMarie
    ItsAliciaMarie Posts: 130
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    My comeback is always using the original person's insult against them.


    Agreed!

    Person- "You're such a Jerk"

    Me- "No you're the Jerk!!!"
  • csparon
    csparon Posts: 200 Member
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    In the work enviornment: "Well that was real professional"

    With friends: "Real mature"

    With my Stepdad: "Nice one, did your mother teach you that?"
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    Your lack of repetitive neural synapse makes anything beyond this moment worthless with you in it.
  • vanessaclarkgbr
    vanessaclarkgbr Posts: 765 Member
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    I wish I was intelligent and witty but I'm not, so *kitten* off does me :-)
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
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    OH YEAH!?!?!?! WELL YOU'RE UGLY!!!!
    but it has to be yelled.
  • SlinkyPinkyBunsOfSteel
    SlinkyPinkyBunsOfSteel Posts: 661 Member
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    " You've got a face like a bucket of smashed crabs" :smile:
  • seehawkmomma
    seehawkmomma Posts: 815
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    "You got a purdy Mouth" Pretty much works for anything

    And RonTard

    **You'd have to see Ronnie And Clyde video to understand that one**
  • Luandanielle1979
    Luandanielle1979 Posts: 747 Member
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    Upper cut!!
  • gabbingfilly
    gabbingfilly Posts: 106 Member
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    My best ones are always in my head after the chance goes by. I am notorious for the best zingers when it is too late.






    I'm soooo the same way. :)

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