Depression - This is my story and this is why I am here

msessRN

I am so sorry for the multitude of tragic events in your life lately. The good news??? You have control over some of it :-) I am so proud of you that you have choosen to start this journey. You will never regret this decision to choose you, your health and your fitness! Feel free to add me as a friend and we can do this together!

lisabell118

Thank you for sharing your story. That could not be easy. You are choosing to fight and that is a good thing. Feel free to add me if you would like and good luck on your journey

TurtleRunnerNC

Thank you for sharing your story. That in itself takes strenght & courage. I am looking forward to you blog & wish you great success in your journey.

Carrot1971

Wow!! Our stories are so very similar. I'd love to be friends!! Hang in there...if I can do this, so can you!!

dorisholaway

Thank you for sharing your story, it brought tears to my eyes. I will pray for your happiness and good life choices. I also am one that was divorced but not by my choice. Mine happened about 19 years ago and now I am a very happily divorced lady, but at the beginning it was very devastating. I also lost my mom 6 1/2 years ago to dementia which is a form of alzheimers. Luckily I had the Lord with me throughout all of this or who knows where I would be today. I have used food as a friend and companion for many years. I started this weight loss journey a year ago at 230 lbs. I am now at 177 and want to be at 140 to 150. I have been on a non losing streak for the past couple of months but that will change. I wish you luck in your journey.

sgallo123

your story touched me..I wish you all the best

mmoyer1978

Thank you so much for having the courage to share your story. I understand depression: it's what got me off my couch and on to a treadmill. And I understand Alzheimer's. It took my grandmother from me. Slowly. She was the kindest woman in the world and when she finally passed she was just an empty shell. I don't envy the road you are traveling with your mother. I miss my grandmother still. She's only been gone two years. But I'm sorry that she never got to know her great granddaughters. She loved children. You are very brave and very strong to start on this "adventure." (I say adventure because it's way more involved than journey.) Stay strong. Just think about the fact that your mom will be so proud- that she only wants the best for you and your happiness. You can do this.

fluffy1980

Hi there.

I know you posted your story a few years ago, but I just wanted to say that I hope things are a great deal better for you now, then they were then.

I know what an emotional time it is when a family member has altzimers. My grandmother has it at the moment. She is like a shell of her former self, and when she asks who you are it is heartbreaking. I'm not sure as to what stage your at, but here in the uk there is an alzimmers society website, its been very helpful for me and my family.

I also know about the depression. I have had so many things happen in the last few years (abusive relationship, ill grandmother, berakdown of relationship with my father, two redundancies), that have shaken me to the core, but up until a few months ago I was the one supporting my mother in all of this. Until one day someone told me that I was coping so well. It was at that point I realised I wasn't coping at all.

Ontop of all this I am an emotional eater, so you can imagine the weight piled on with all that is happening.

I really hope things are better for you now then they were then.

If you like add me as a friend and maybe we can support and motivate each other.

Walawender33

Your story feels so similar to me in many ways thank you for sharing.

BerryH

I fully empathise, having been dealt with the triple-whammy of slowly losing my mother to early-onset Alzheimer's, divorce and depression at the same time. If one of those factors hadn't been there, who knows how different things might have been as I suspect they caused a vicious cycle of mood and behaviour.

The day my mother forgot who I was will forever remain etched on my memory.

My best advice is this too shall pass - I'm back to my smiling happy self and am off the meds. Also eating healthier, getting regular exercise and establishing a regular sleep pattern make more difference than you could ever imagine.

Good luck! :flowerforyou:

Solly123

Sometimes its so hard to figure out why life is throwing all these horrible things at you at the same time.. The point is, you can't sit and let it get to you.. You need to get up and remember the good things and the reason you're there.

There is always a reason.. Your mother may be changing with the Alzeimers, but you can keep your memory of the wonderful person she was in your heart. The disease is changing her, so really the person their now is only part of your mother - the disease is the rest.. Comfort and help her as you can, but don't think that her love for you has changed or is different.. She's not really there.. It is such a cruel disease and more cruel for the family than the person..

Just remember, when your mother gave birth to you - what were her dreams for you, her beautiful new son?? Thats what she wants for you - the best of the best.. And you need to remember that everyday.. Strive to be the best that you can. Oh, you will fall and go the wrong way - but that just makes the journey that bit hard - never impossible..

Keep strong and remember - you are loved.. You seem to have a great famly. As much as you need them, they need you..

Best of luck for the future.. Keep your memories in your heart and think about the good things everyday!!

brendabuckeye

I am touched by your story. You have been through so much in a short time, and you know you aren't done. I watched my parents struggle with my grandmother's Alzheimer's for years before her poor body finally gave in. I hope you find an Alzheimers support group somewhere. You are not alone, and I think you would benefit from the support of others in the same situation - and they would benefit from you!
I am also touched by depression, so some days can be a real struggle. It sounds like you have a wonderful sister to help you through. I have been able to reach out to one person, my wonderful little sister, for help when it gets really tough, but asking for help is tough, isn't it? We all need a little boost now and then.
Feel free to add me as a friend, and good luck on your journey!

vdansch

Sounds like you and I are kindred souls ... I've lived with clinical depression most of my life. I'm not on meds but probably should be, I would suggest you speak with a physician and maybe they can prescribe something for you. With my mother it was kidney disease. Watching her disintegrate before my eyes and the dialysis treatments were too much for me. My father had died some years earlier a chain-smoking alcoholic. The only main difference is that when my wife asked me for a divorce, I threw the biggest good-riddance party ever seen! What helps me a lot is a line from one of the old "Rocky" movies that when you get knocked down you have to get up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward. Always keep moving forward should be your mantra. It helps me anyhow.

scol14

Wow! What a a story! My heart goes out to you. My Dad had dementia. I know how tough it is to see your beloved parent mentally slip away. I admire you for opening up your heart and sharing your feelings. I am also amazed at the outpouring of caring from your new MFP friends. There are a lot of great people out there. Hopefully, the support of your new friends will help you get this this very tough time!!!! Please add me as a friend.

SquishiiKiwii

Wow. Firstly. I am sorry you're having to go through watching your mother deteriorate through Alzheimers. This is a very close subject to me as my other half's grandmother passed away from it in November 2009 and his grandfather also suffers with it and is in a specialized nursing home for it. It is very life altering and sad thing to watch anybody go through let alone somebody so close.
Secondly, I am very proud of you for realizing where you were going wrong and correcting the mistakes (Which are completely acceptable as I think everybody would agree!) that you have made!!

We're all here for all sorts of reasons, medical, cosmetic, depression, health, etc The most important part is that we all encourage each other and help each other through the tough times!!!

Confession; I comfort eat! I also suffer from depression, anxiety and panic disorder (reoccurring panic attacks) So hey! We'll help one another out huh!

You've got this far, you can keep going!
xxx

cocofae

Wow seems like our stories could be similar. The fact that you were able to share shows your inner strength. You are in my prayers.

ChrisIn757

Very sorry to hear about your losses. The fact that you can talk about it, and have realized your own faults through it all, is a testament to your own strengths though. I think you will find that MFP will be one of the best social tools you can find to help you get your physical life back on track. There are lots of people on here that have come from similiar mental states, and physical states, and have fought the struggles that face you now. Each day, just keep getting up, and taking that first step and soon you will see that each new day is slightly easier than yesterday. Stay focused on doing this for you, stay strong, but remember to forgive your weaknesses when you need to. Good luck man, and keep us posted on your progress.

Frostieknickers

Wow..... that is a touching story. Life can be cruel at times. But believe me, as alone as life can feel, you are not alone, as there are many others out there who have been through similar trials in life.
Sounds like you have made a turning point for the better. Stick at it.... things will improve but we all have to accept we have bumps along the way.
I have suffered from depression since I was 21, starting with an abusive relationship for over 2 years. I was slim and nicely confident. I was told I was fat, noone else would want me, beaten etc. So when I had the courage to leave him, I was also left with depression and panic attacks. Many long stories later..... I am now here. I am finally losing weight I put on through depression and alcohol and going to improve my life. It still has issues. My Mum has parkinsons and its difficult to see her like she is knowing it will get worse, but I make the most of any time I have and do things with her.
Keep smiling, stay positive and remember take each day at a time.
x

j4nash

Thank you all for the support

Didiandeverytang

Wow, thank you for sharing your story, you have gone through alot and are obviously a very strong individual. Life is sometimes not fair and unfortunately we have to take whatever it dishes out. I think MFP will be a good outlet for you to vent and lean on us for support. We are all here for a number of reason, and there is strength in numbers, we are here to help each other.

Take everything one step at a time, there is a light at the end of each and every tunnel, it may be a long haul to that light, but it's there.

Weezieishness

Good on you for taking charge of your life and making some changes. I understand a lot of what you've been through, my Nana suffered from Alzheimers for many years. She developed it after my grandad died, when I was five, and slowly deteriorated until she had to move into a home because she couldn't look after herself. But the time I was ten, she didn't know who me or my brother were anymore, and by a year later had forgotten who my Mum was and couldn't even hold a conversation with us anymore.

She eventually passed away when I was sixteen from a stroke, which came as a slight relief as she had seemed so distressed for so many years while suffering from the Alzheimers and had become dangerously thin from struggling to eat.

It's been ten years now since Nana passed away but I still have fond memories from when I was very young and she was still well.

I also understand what you've been through with depression. I suffered from depression six years ago, after my first relationship fell apart, and my best friend moved away to go to University. I didn't know how to deal with it at the time, and was in denial about what was happening as I thought people would think me a drama queen. After many months of not sleeping well and being severely unhappy, I managed to work through it with the help of good friends, and have learned to love life all the more for having had to go through depression for almost a year.

So yeah, don't lose hope and remember there are a lot of people on this site here to support you when things get tough.

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo

I'm sorry for all that you're going through but I believe God has everything planned for us & that everything will be OK. I'm not really a religious person but I strongly hold on to this belief. I know you can do this. I'm also in a difficult situation right now although not exactly same as yours. I just sent you a friend request if you wouldn't mind.

calvert6183

Brother, I am sorry for everything. I cant even imagine what you have been through. You are a very strong person and will get through it. I believe in you. I can tell you this. Give this site a chance. There are so many amazing people on here that really care and will be there for you.

I myself have been through a great deal and was blessed with some amazing support from complete strangers who reached out to help because they have hearts of gold. Il keep you and your family in my prayers.

Also, I added you, im in Texas as well if you ever need a new friend. Take care and God bless you. If you ever need anything, just let me know.

brandynicole28

I cannot begin to fathom the pain and loss that you have experienced. My thoughts are with you!

Reading your post, your words are a testament to your resiliency and to the incredible amount of strength and perseverance you possess. You have made some choices, and some choices were made for you, but as many have stated YOU ARE STILL HERE!! You took the most important step, you are changing your life and for the better. If anger works, GET ANGRY, eventually the anger will turn to passion and you will get the inner peace you are seeking to ease the turmoil!!

You are amazing, and wonderfully so, and you will do it! I believe in you, I have complete faith you will turn things around in your favor!! Amazingly enough, you are here on MFP and I am not the only one who believes in you!! You are in a great place to have people bend down and help lift you up, motivate, encourage, and yes even kick you in the *kitten* on occasion!

Like some of the others, I am also in Texas, about an hour from Dallas. If you need a friend and more encouragement, please add me! My story is different from yours, but we are on the same journey, for me I am 86 lbs down....and on my way to a healthier happier me!! YOU will get there too!!!

Brandy

skinnydreams

Wow, life has thrown you some curve balls......so glad to see you finding your way again! Depression is a hard topic and a harder fight....thank you for sharing your story!

emmyash

thanks for sharing, Ive had depression since i had my first son...so PND at first follwed by anxiety disorder...controlled now. but my weight has gone up,biggest ive ever been outside of pregnancy..im day 3 to this new lifestyle....will send request..good luck with everything..

luckyCDR

You know, the fact that you can be honest with yourself and others about your journey to "recovery" (which is what I call mine) just says how serious you are now. Once you can admit to yourself that you need to change, and then are determined to do so...THAT, my friend, is where the change happens. We're on similar paths, and I hope we can support and encourage each other along the way. You're doing GREAT so far! :-)

qoemiller

Thanks for opening up. I can relate to the work from home. I tend to lock myself in as well. That is one reason I want to start exercising. Also, the exercise is an anti-depressant. Good luck on your journey. Please add me as a friend.

Amybcb

Wow - life really has been hitting your hard lately. But I love that you are hitting back! I admire your honesty and opening up here. We all have demons, so please know you are not alone. Gonna add you

RebeccaBaker74

Just joining this today and read your story! So much going on in your life at the moment! I feel I can relate as we have also had a death in our family that is tearing our family apart. Good luck my new friend!