Parenting without Yelling

stephanielindley422

And advice on how to do this? I feel like lately all I do is yell at my girl...she's almost 3....and it's not getting me anywhere except crying myself to sleep because I feel like a terrible mommy. LOL

takehimaway

I think I would like to know how to live without yelling. My parents did not parent without yelling, and now I feel like I can't do anything, but yell. My girlfriend said this today, "Just because its valid doesnt mean it needs to be screamed at me." -sighs- Good luck, and I hope you change your ways now. Try to remember to breathe, stay where your feet are, and it's gonna be alright.

_snw_

parenting without yelling == parenting without kids.

_snw_

OR

Parenting without yelling == parents who let their kids run nilly willy in public and pretend "what? MY little bethany isn't doing ANYTHING wrong!"

shmunster

lol nleisher, I think that's true! My little guy is only 2 and he already drives me batty sometimes!

_snw_

and now i feel immediately bad. No - I don't yell all the time, but it happens. I'm human. You'll get through it. If you feel yourself going off, walk away from the situation and take a break. Your daughter will forgive you!

stephanielindley422

I think I would like to know how to live without yelling. My parents did not parent without yelling, and now I feel like I can't do anything, but yell. My girlfriend said this today, "Just because its valid doesnt mean it needs to be screamed at me." -sighs- Good luck, and I hope you change your ways now. Try to remember to breathe, stay where your feet are, and it's gonna be alright.

This exactly. My mom was a yeller, and I love my mom, but I don't want to be that way with my girl. There has to be sommething better then having to scream everything to get your point across

stephanielindley422

and now i feel immediately bad. No - I don't yell all the time, but it happens. I'm human. You'll get through it. If you feel yourself going off, walk away from the situation and take a break. Your daughter will forgive you!

I jsut feel like I'm yelling all the time...LOL...maybe I'm not..but it sure feels that way

healthyJenn0915

Honey, welcome to parenthood! I try my best not to yell at my kids, but I swear it's the only way they listen and respond to me! Don't feel bad about it, your daughter loves you and always will!

Nic620

They can break a down lol! My daughter will be 3 April and she loves testing me right now. I try to check myself so I'm not yelling at her but I try and speak calmly even when I'm about to pull my hair out because she's told me no for the 10th time.

thetrishwarp

I'm not a parent, but I can say that I was not yelled at often. My family had a lot of discussions - if I did something wrong, it was explained to me why it was wrong, and I was taught why I should not repeat it. There was no "just stop that!" or "because I said so!" or anything like that. As a kid, I didn't always like it, but I appreciate it now that I'm older.

realme56

Yelling is not all that bad, neither is telling your children NO!! Too many people think it is bad to tell a child no and it isn't. Be realistic, if you tell your kid you are leaving (____) if they do something one more time then DO IT!! Not following through with discipline is worse than yelling!

takehimaway

This exactly. My mom was a yeller, and I love my mom, but I don't want to be that way with my girl. There has to be sommething better then having to scream everything to get your point across

My dad was a yeller, and sometimes we'd throw blows or whatever, and I mean, I was arguing with said girlfriend last night, and I was shouting, and I kinda [well, there's no fcking kinda about it, actually] grabbed her up, to make her just stop and listen to me, and all the next day, I was just sitting on it, thinking as I know I shouldn't have to put my hands on my lady or yell at her to get her to listen to me! There is better options, but I'm not sure what they are. I sometimes feel like writing gets my point across better, or the whole active listening thing. "I had an apple for breakfast, but I wanted a pear." "I'm hearing you say you would have rather had a pear for breakfast." "Yes, a pear would have tasted better and been juicier." Make sense? I don't want to be hurtful toward anyone in my life, so I'm trying to make changes.

stephanielindley422

Yelling is not all that bad, neither is telling your children NO!! Too many people think it is bad to tell a child no and it isn't. Be realistic, if you tell your kid you are leaving (____) if they do something one more time then DO IT!! Not following through with discipline is worse than yelling!

We follow through, thats for sure. I didn't ONE time and she took full advantage of it.

grapenutSF

I agree that yelling happens--parenting is crazy hard!-- and it's not helpful to beat yourself up about it. But kudos to you for trying to do better. I support you in that. I took a free webinar from a parenting coach that had super advice. Hm, let me find that. Here:

http://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/pricing/free-parent-training

She has other resources on her site. Worth taking the free seminar, lots of tips.

And then there's the book 1-2-3 Magic. Very helpful strategies for my family (my daughter is now 4, we've been using these strategies since age 2).

BrendaLee

I can't do it. I yell at my daughter, I yell at my cats...I yell at my daughter because she won't take her turn yelling at the cats.

ETA: I mean yelling at them to get off the counter, out of the trash, etc...not just random cat yelling. lol

stephanielindley422

I agree that yelling happens--parenting is crazy hard!-- and it's not helpful to beat yourself up about it. But kudos to you for trying to do better. I support you in that. I took a free webinar from a parenting coach that had super advice. Hm, let me find that. Here:

http://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/pricing/free-parent-training

She has other resources on her site. Worth taking the free seminar, lots of tips.

And then there's the book 1-2-3 Magic. Very helpful strategies for my family (my daughter is now 4, we've been using these strategies since age 2).

Thank you. Checking it out now.

stephanielindley422

I know that yelling happens. I'm not going to calmly say "Now, darling, we really shouldn't play in the street"....but there's got to be a better way to get her to pick up her toys LOL

lyssamichelle

I'm not a parent but I do know that my nephew won't listen if you yell at him.
He does listen when you use a strict voice. I'm the only one who uses it.. so I'm the only one he listens too. My sister & her husband let him do pretty much whatever because they feel bad if they yell at him. At least I think that's why he listens..

firefly101

Let's face it. Kids are frustrating little boogers. You're going to crack. You're going to yell.

That said, if you're truly yelling all the time, that's not right for anyone. Moreover, if you're yelling all the time, your kids will just learn that 'this is the way Mommy communicates-- with her outside and 5 blocks away voice'. To be effective, yelling should be reserved for special occasions only. Also: maybe you need a little help or adult time to vent or an hour on a massage table of something... too much heat makes the kettle whistle, if you get my drift. It's late and I'm starting to babble like a baboon, so I'll stop now. Best of Luck!

takehimaway

I once heard somewhere that if you tell a kid why doing something is wrong, they'll get it more. "We shouldn't play in the street, because you could get hurt by getting hit by a car, so let's come over here in the driveway, so you can stay safe and whole. You can bring your skates." or whatever.