Parenting without Yelling

AlsDonkBoxSquat

And advice on how to do this? I feel like lately all I do is yell at my girl...she's almost 3....and it's not getting me anywhere except crying myself to sleep because I feel like a terrible mommy. LOL

My son turned 2 in September. I don’t completely omit yelling, but I try not to yell because I have a short fuse and don’t want to hand this quality off to my son. I’m trying to be a good example of self control so that I can teach him self control too. I spend a lot of time kneeling or crouching. I find he listens to me better when I get down to his level, look him in the eye, and try to talk with him about what’s going on instead of talk at him about what’s going on. Things like, “Shhh, buddy, use your big boy words and tell me what’s going on.” Or, “Bud, why did you do that?” I use time out, it’s good for both of us. Sometimes he’s freaking out because he’s seriously over stimulated and just can’t get himself under control, hanging out in a corner without toys or tv to look at or anything to hear helps him reset. It’s also a way for me to get myself under control when we’re both 2 seconds away from melt down. It’s not for every little offense, because tolerance is important as a parent, kids shouldn’t be expected to be perfect 100% of the time. I use it consistently, no hitting, kicking, punching, biting, or anything that could cause severe bodily harm like playing around the stove/oven, and no harassing the dogs, and sometimes I use it for some basic consistent behavioral issues that crop up along the way. I do it based upon Super Nanny rules (I have learned more about consistent parenting and normal child behavior from watching that show): 1 minute per age, always in the same general spot, I do stand with him while he’s in TO because he’s still little. I always tell him before hand why he’s having a TO including what he did and what is expected of him (buddy, we use our mouths to love with kisses and talk not to bite), and reinforce it afterward with basically the same thing afterward with a “now tell mommy that you’re sorry and give me a hug.”
When push comes to shove, however, I will pack up all of his Thomas gear and “Cars” gear in a Rubbermaid bin and put it on the top shelf of my closet. The box then magically reappears in his bedroom in the middle of the night, everyone is entitled to a fresh start at a new day.

jennajava

Well let's agree to disagree... looks like our kids are going to be raised differently. lol

And mine won't have self esteem issues. I'm telling you. I've been there. Don't do it to your kids. You'll regret it.

datguy2011

Well let's agree to disagree... looks like our kids are going to be raised differently. lol

And mine won't have self esteem issues. I'm telling you. I've been there. Don't do it to your kids. You'll regret it.

I would have to disagree, I turned out without self esteem issues... I got a career, house, car, wife... it's part of life. My kids will fear me when they've done something wrong. It's the best way to handle the situation, I'm not even going to get started with kids these days and what's acceptable and not acceptable. It's like they've all turned into marshmallows...

Don't get confused however, I will not be beating my kids for no reason or just to prove a point. There's a big difference in being afraid of daddy because you've DONE something wrong.... and being afraid of daddy everyday.