What ARE the dating rules?

vanessaclarkgbr

I just don't get why women are looked down on for wanting sex on a first date, I mean, really, its 20-****ing-12 people. Women enjoy sex, most of them really, really enjoy it - if the other party has any skill anyway...

Oh I enjoy sex. I enjoy it very much. But I have issues. I am one of those that can get very attached after sex. And since I'm not finding anybody worth me attaching to, I'm skipping out on the sex.

Back in the day when I was younger, it seemed easier to just bang but for me, great hot sex comes when I have great chemistry with someone and for ME, it takes a bit to build that up.

Trust me, I wish I could just have hot sex with someone!!! I envy you!

Definitely with you there. So unless hammered (and single) and not even going to remember what colour hair they had, I just wouldn't bother :-) Nowt to do with what nice girls do and don't :-)

Smuterella

Oh, I do get attached, terribly so - but only if the sex is good, so it usually works out OK. I've never had a one night stand, well aside from one where I didn't want to see them again, all my long term relationships (I'm talking 6yrs, 3 yrs, 2 yrs) have come from sex straight away. Meh, horses for courses I guess. I just know that life is too short, for me, to risk falling for someone and then finding the sex is a disappointment. :-)

Smuterella

And my comment was a general one, aimed at the general belief that women who "put out" earlier are somehow tainted than at an individuals personal choice.

La_Amazona

Oh, I do get attached, terribly so - but only if the sex is good, so it usually works out OK. I've never had a one night stand, well aside from one where I didn't want to see them again, all my long term relationships (I'm talking 6yrs, 3 yrs, 2 yrs) have come from sex straight away. Meh, horses for courses I guess. I just know that life is too short, for me, to risk falling for someone and then finding the sex is a disappointment. :-)

see last time i was doing this.. it was with boys. they were 18-20 years old so they just wanted to bang.

i wonder if at our age now, it's different with men in their early 30s. who knows but i guess i'm scared to get hurt so i rather not go there.

maab_connor

I just don't get why women are looked down on for wanting sex on a first date, I mean, really, its 20-****ing-12 people. Women enjoy sex, most of them really, really enjoy it - if the other party has any skill anyway...

b/c even in 2012, we're called sluts for acting like men when it comes to sex.

Smuterella

Sweeping generalisation alert:

Oh, I don't think men lose the just wanting to bang thing, but yes, there seems to be a dating window - those around 30-45 do seem to want relationships, those over 45ish seem to want to stay single forever (usually have a hard divorce behind them I think).

The problem I'm having though is all the men I meet over 30 want or already have children and frankly I really don't like young humans. The idea of having to live with one for 18 or so years terrifies me.

Smuterella

I just don't get why women are looked down on for wanting sex on a first date, I mean, really, its 20-****ing-12 people. Women enjoy sex, most of them really, really enjoy it - if the other party has any skill anyway...

b/c even in 2012, we're called sluts for acting like men when it comes to sex.

I wonder if that will ever change, sigh.

maab_connor

I just don't get why women are looked down on for wanting sex on a first date, I mean, really, its 20-****ing-12 people. Women enjoy sex, most of them really, really enjoy it - if the other party has any skill anyway...

b/c even in 2012, we're called sluts for acting like men when it comes to sex.

I wonder if that will ever change, sigh.

i sure hope so. but we're our own worst enemies.

ItsCasey

I just don't get why women are looked down on for wanting sex on a first date, I mean, really, its 20-****ing-12 people. Women enjoy sex, most of them really, really enjoy it - if the other party has any skill anyway...

ETA: This is not directed at LisaSmuts. Just to women in general ... it seems there are a lot more who can't REALLY do a one-night stand than those who can.

What year it is has nothing to do whether it's okay or not okay to sleep with someone on the first date. If you think it's okay, then it's okay ... for you, not necessarily for everyone else. If you know you can't get up and walk away and not care if he ever calls again, then, for Pete's sake, keep your pants on and don't be one of those dumb chicks who think putting out will keep a guy around.

Smuterella

I totally get that, that isn't what I was saying AT ALL. I was referring to the so called third date rule, which carries with it the inference that men do not respect women who have sex before the third date.

sunnyday789

I drunk visited (knocked at his door) after 2nd or 3rd date. Married after about 5 months. Still married after almost 30 years.
So, you never know.

La_Amazona

I just don't get why women are looked down on for wanting sex on a first date, I mean, really, its 20-****ing-12 people. Women enjoy sex, most of them really, really enjoy it - if the other party has any skill anyway...

ETA: This is not directed at LisaSmuts. Just to women in general ... it seems there are a lot more who can't REALLY do a one-night stand than those who can.

What year it is has nothing to do whether it's okay or not okay to sleep with someone on the first date. If you think it's okay, then it's okay ... for you, not necessarily for everyone else. If you know you can't get up and walk away and not care if he ever calls again, then, for Pete's sake, keep your pants on and don't be one of those dumb chicks who think putting out will keep a guy around.

I agree. The previous poster is proof and many many others whom obviously their guys (long term bfs and even some who turned into husbands- after sex on first date) didn't think of them as sluts or why would they have dated them seriously?

La_Amazona

I drunk visited (knocked at his door) after 2nd or 3rd date. Married after about 5 months. Still married after almost 30 years.
So, you never know.

haha and here i am worried about a drunk call!!

jennajava