Men...Just Who Exactly Are You Trying To Impress?

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Vermilla
Vermilla Posts: 348
in Chit-Chat
So I was wondering...exactly who men are trying to impress? A woman gets a man alone, and he's sweet and listens and is (usually) not an *kitten*. Suddenly his male friends come up and it's a complete turn around. He acts like a jerk, treats a woman like some kind of toy that he's lost interest in, and does things on purpose to piss her off just so his guy friends can have a laugh at it. I see the same in the gym even. I was doing some weight training and a guy was talking to me, being supportive, and another guy passed by, asked him what he was up to, and he says "Just trying to get this woman past being pathetic." Pathetic? :explode: What ever happened to "You're doing great!"?? Now for those men who are not gay (and nothing against gays, just this doesn't apply to them), why is it that you seem to be trying to impress males more than females? To be frank and blunt, if it's us females you want to hook up with and make a good impression, shouldn't you at least wait to be an *kitten* until we're gone? So why do men do this? Who are you trying to impress?
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  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    Me personally? No one but myself and the people I love. I have reached a stage in my life were I honestly don't care what people other than that think of me.

    The behaviour you describe however isn't a facet of being a man more than it is a measure of being immature or unsure of yourself. Only under confident people feel the need to put others down in order to make themselves feel or look better.
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,901 Member
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    Me personally? No one but myself and the people I love. I have reached a stage in my life were I honestly don't care what people other than that think of me.

    The behaviour you describe however isn't a facet of being a man more than it is a measure of being immature or unsure of yourself. Only under confident people feel the need to put others down in order to make themselves feel or look better.

    I will have to agree with this. The guy was a chump and an idiot who couldn't handle a real woman. Just keep doing your work and ignore the boys. The men will make them selves known if they are interested, if not then just keep going and don't let those boys get to you :)
  • buzzbug
    buzzbug Posts: 50 Member
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    I agree 100%. I think if more of us women stood up to the guys who are immature enough to act that way, less would. I mean, what guy would want to be told off in front of his bros? But, most of the girls I know would just keep quiet in that situation, or even laugh along. (Not saying that was the case with you, just in general.) And, so guys know they will get away with their immaturity.

    Don't worry, girl! This happens to all of us, unfortunately. Some boys just never grow up... Any man who treats a woman that way doesn't deserve a second look.
  • Vermilla
    Vermilla Posts: 348
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    I've known a LOT of men in my life. Well, I've met a lot of males, and I have to say the majority of them are this way it seems sadly. It really angers me, because I'm NOT one of those girls who will back off. I will say something. It's not even an age thing, like something just a teenager would do. I've seen middle-aged men do it too. Now I know not all men are like this (else I'm sure the human race would've died off by now), but come on...why so many? What does that really get them? Have we women really built a reputation that says "disrespect me, I'm good with it"?
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
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    The wolf pack smells fear and kills the weakest member.

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  • TimWilkinson101
    TimWilkinson101 Posts: 163 Member
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    I think what you've met are @ssholes as opposed to men. They sound very immature and the sort of people I'd expect to see in a movie that involves a frat house (whatever one of those is ;) ).

    Quite a few men are jerks, but the percentage tends to decline as they get older and are less into trying to look cool in front of their mates. I'd also suggest that guys who hang around in gyms with their mates are also maybe not an accurate cross section of the male population.

    But as for who I personally am trying to impress, that would be my fiancee and her friends. I have been "told off" for being a bit too sarcastic by my SO in the past and I've reined in what I thought was "humour".
  • sinistertitan
    sinistertitan Posts: 603 Member
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    A-holes like that are just trying to protect their virginity.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,691 Member
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    So I was wondering...exactly who men are trying to impress? A woman gets a man alone, and he's sweet and listens and is (usually) not an *kitten*. Suddenly his male friends come up and it's a complete turn around. He acts like a jerk, treats a woman like some kind of toy that he's lost interest in, and does things on purpose to piss her off just so his guy friends can have a laugh at it. I see the same in the gym even. I was doing some weight training and a guy was talking to me, being supportive, and another guy passed by, asked him what he was up to, and he says "Just trying to get this woman past being pathetic." Pathetic? :explode: What ever happened to "You're doing great!"?? Now for those men who are not gay (and nothing against gays, just this doesn't apply to them), why is it that you seem to be trying to impress males more than females? To be frank and blunt, if it's us females you want to hook up with and make a good impression, shouldn't you at least wait to be an *kitten* until we're gone? So why do men do this? Who are you trying to impress?
    Men try to impress other men consistently. It's the "alpha male" in us. But you don't have to be an *kitten* to do it. For me, I could car less about a car (I drive a mini van), bling, designer suits, name brand clothing etc.
    But in reality, the same goes for women too. They are just more stealthy about it.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
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    I've never had this experience before except maybe in high school.
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    You have discovered the species Doucheus Maximus Simpleton, a common predator in the gym apex. Doucheus Maximus Simpleton often perform mating rituals that include beating their chest, hooting, frost tipping their hair, and winking at themselves in the mirror. To keep a respectable rank amongst the other Doucheus Maximus that may dwell within the gym apex, they will engage in an act scientists have labeled "douchery".

    The higher the social rank of Doucheus Maximus, the more acts of douchery they will commit, which seems to attract the female doucheus minoritis species and allow them to perform coitus upon them.
  • revren10
    revren10 Posts: 116
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    its the cave men mentallity lol
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
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    You.
  • buzzbug
    buzzbug Posts: 50 Member
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    I've known a LOT of men in my life. Well, I've met a lot of males, and I have to say the majority of them are this way it seems sadly. It really angers me, because I'm NOT one of those girls who will back off. I will say something. It's not even an age thing, like something just a teenager would do. I've seen middle-aged men do it too. Now I know not all men are like this (else I'm sure the human race would've died off by now), but come on...why so many? What does that really get them? Have we women really built a reputation that says "disrespect me, I'm good with it"?

    Yeah, it is SHOCKING to me how many 'grown men' will act this way! Well, how many of these jerk men are in a relationship with a woman? A lot of them... This makes me think that, unfortunately, there are women who are good with it. I have had friend's boyfriends talk down to me like that, and my friend will just stand there and let him make women 'jokes' and so on. She has this 'boys will be boys' kind of mentality, like that is normal and ok. Well, it's not OK. It's ridiculous and her attitude (and societies attitude) sets the scene for more disrespect.

    Not all men are like this. We just have to find the good ones to have in our lives. :smile:
  • erika010
    erika010 Posts: 28 Member
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    I "dated" a couple of guys that sounded like what you are describing in high school (I was 16 and didn't know any better), but I dropped them pretty fast. This is the behavior of a boy (or girl) not a man (or woman). It's too bad you've met so many men like this, though. In college I stayed single (went on dates but I was focused on my studies, having fun with friends, and making future career connections) and when I met my now husband after I graduated, I knew how I deserved to be treated and exactly what I was looking for in a life partner and didn't settle for anything less. I still don't settle for anything less.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
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    So I was wondering...exactly who men are trying to impress? A woman gets a man alone, and he's sweet and listens and is (usually) not an *kitten*. Suddenly his male friends come up and it's a complete turn around. He acts like a jerk, treats a woman like some kind of toy that he's lost interest in, and does things on purpose to piss her off just so his guy friends can have a laugh at it. I see the same in the gym even. I was doing some weight training and a guy was talking to me, being supportive, and another guy passed by, asked him what he was up to, and he says "Just trying to get this woman past being pathetic." Pathetic? :explode: What ever happened to "You're doing great!"?? Now for those men who are not gay (and nothing against gays, just this doesn't apply to them), why is it that you seem to be trying to impress males more than females? To be frank and blunt, if it's us females you want to hook up with and make a good impression, shouldn't you at least wait to be an *kitten* until we're gone? So why do men do this? Who are you trying to impress?

    why do women try to impress other women more than men?
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    I've known a LOT of men in my life. Well, I've met a lot of males, and I have to say the majority of them are this way it seems sadly. It really angers me, because I'm NOT one of those girls who will back off. I will say something. It's not even an age thing, like something just a teenager would do. I've seen middle-aged men do it too. Now I know not all men are like this (else I'm sure the human race would've died off by now), but come on...why so many? What does that really get them? Have we women really built a reputation that says "disrespect me, I'm good with it"?

    Yeah, it is SHOCKING to me how many 'grown men' will act this way! Well, how many of these jerk men are in a relationship with a woman? A lot of them... This makes me think that, unfortunately, there are women who are good with it. I have had friend's boyfriends talk down to me like that, and my friend will just stand there and let her SO make women 'jokes' and so on. She has this 'boys will be boys' kind of mentality, like that is normal and ok. Well, it's not OK. It's ridiculous and her attitude (and societies attitude) sets the scene for more disrespect.

    Not all men are like this. We just have to find the good ones to have in our lives. :smile:

    Doucheus Maximus is typically always with mate. This should alert everyone that it is an acceptable and often rewarded homo-sapien trait and sub species. When Doucheus Maximus no longer is capable of attracting mates with their douchery, you will see less of them in existence.
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
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    You're talking about boys....not men.
  • Aviendha_RJ
    Aviendha_RJ Posts: 600 Member
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    So I was wondering...exactly who men are trying to impress? A woman gets a man alone, and he's sweet and listens and is (usually) not an *kitten*. Suddenly his male friends come up and it's a complete turn around. He acts like a jerk, treats a woman like some kind of toy that he's lost interest in, and does things on purpose to piss her off just so his guy friends can have a laugh at it.

    My response to this behaviour generally goes (in front of his friends) .... "well, you WERE going to get laid tonight. Now you may never. Good job." And I walk away.

    What a man is trying to do is get a positive response. That's the purpose of any behaviour. To get the response they want. If you can flip it around, & make him look stupid to his friends for doing/saying stuff like this, then he may stop because it's not getting him where he wants to go. True... you can't fix every guy by doing this once, but you WILL get that instant sense of having gotten one-up on a jerk. Yeah... you may get a reputation as being a tease... or a *****. But do you REALLY care what guys like that think of you? Your real friends know the truth, & who you really are.
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
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    I don't know... I wouldn't act that way... if I were in the gym helping and encouraging you I would tell the other guys the same thing... I have no need to put someone down who's putting in the effort trying to better themselves. I think it's great!

    Keep doing what you're doing and ignore the *kitten*!
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    A guy that behaves that way is a piece of *kitten* that doesn`t deserve to have the company of a fine lady.
    It is disgraceful and a shame that makes all guys look bad.

    Now a question...why do so many woman stay with him or actually gravitate toward that type of behavior,the bad boy thing?

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