Men...Just Who Exactly Are You Trying To Impress?

auticus

You have discovered the species Doucheus Maximus Simpleton, a common predator in the gym apex. Doucheus Maximus Simpleton often perform mating rituals that include beating their chest, hooting, frost tipping their hair, and winking at themselves in the mirror. To keep a respectable rank amongst the other Doucheus Maximus that may dwell within the gym apex, they will engage in an act scientists have labeled "douchery".

The higher the social rank of Doucheus Maximus, the more acts of douchery they will commit, which seems to attract the female doucheus minoritis species and allow them to perform coitus upon them.

lol!

LMFAO! I literally almost chocked on my lunch. So funny.

Please don't choke. I would feel bad across the miles.

kennethmgreen

You're talking about boys....not men.

Z_I_L_L_A

The word you are looking for is"Tool"

lol

UpToTheChallenge

I've seen this a lot. I know exactly what you're talking about.
I think it's absolutely ridiculous, immature and pathetic. I have been with my fiancee since high school so I have not had to deal with it personally, but I work at a gym and I am friends with a lot of guys and they'll be with a girl at the gym, being all nice, then they'll come up to me or another guy at the gym and talk **** about her. I don't understand, just own up to it.

I have seen it in other ways, guys acting differently in front of other guys. It's truly annoying.

I_give_it_2_u_str8

that girl over there

Cfkearney

You have discovered the species Doucheus Maximus Simpleton, a common predator in the gym apex. Doucheus Maximus Simpleton often perform mating rituals that include beating their chest, hooting, frost tipping their hair, and winking at themselves in the mirror. To keep a respectable rank amongst the other Doucheus Maximus that may dwell within the gym apex, they will engage in an act scientists have labeled "douchery".

The higher the social rank of Doucheus Maximus, the more acts of douchery they will commit, which seems to attract the female doucheus minoritis species and allow them to perform coitus upon them.

LOL Love this. There are members of both genders that do this, females just do it differently. Doucheus Maximus act like they do in front of their friends to earn status in that group. Doucheus Minoritis will sport the latest name brands and accessories or demand bigger nicer gifts from their mate to earn status in their group. The "real" men and women don't associate with these groups because they enjoy the giving and recieving of respectful actions with their friends, family and significant other.:bigsmile:

rml_16

I have not had this particular experience ...

WarriorMom2012

I have not had this particular experience ...

Why am I looking at your crotch? Just curious...

CaptainGordo

I have not had this particular experience ...

Why am I looking at your crotch? Just curious...

Thigh gap. It's irresistible.

ItsCasey

People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. If something is unacceptable to you, stand up for yourself. No one is going to do it for you. And for crying out loud, stop assuming that all men are jerks because one or two were mean to you.

auticus

You have discovered the species Doucheus Maximus Simpleton, a common predator in the gym apex. Doucheus Maximus Simpleton often perform mating rituals that include beating their chest, hooting, frost tipping their hair, and winking at themselves in the mirror. To keep a respectable rank amongst the other Doucheus Maximus that may dwell within the gym apex, they will engage in an act scientists have labeled "douchery".

The higher the social rank of Doucheus Maximus, the more acts of douchery they will commit, which seems to attract the female doucheus minoritis species and allow them to perform coitus upon them.

LOL Love this. There are members of both genders that do this, females just do it differently. Doucheus Maximus act like they do in front of their friends to earn status in that group. Doucheus Minoritis will sport the latest name brands and accessories or demand bigger nicer gifts from their mate to earn status in their group. The "real" men and women don't associate with these groups because they enjoy the giving and recieving of respectful actions with their friends, family and significant other.:bigsmile:

This is very true. The key and difficult part are finding the "real" men and women in the sea of douche bags.

jenny95662

You're talking about boys....not men.

Love it

rml_16

I have not had this particular experience ...

Why am I looking at your crotch? Just curious...

Thigh gap. It's irresistible.

Exactly. Everyone wants one. I got one. SInce it's the epitome of perfection, apparently, I thought I'd show it off.

And perhaps it's the reason I've never had this experience? I'm just so darned hot, no man would dare diss me.

*sigh*

WarriorMom2012

I have not had this particular experience ...

Why am I looking at your crotch? Just curious...

Thigh gap. It's irresistible.

Exactly. Everyone wants one. I got one. SInce it's the epitome of perfection, apparently, I thought I'd show it off.

And perhaps it's the reason I've never had this experience? I'm just so darned hot, no man would dare diss me.

*sigh*

It is pretty irresistible!!

Phoenix1401

So I was wondering...exactly who men are trying to impress? A woman gets a man alone, and he's sweet and listens and is (usually) not an *kitten*. Suddenly his male friends come up and it's a complete turn around. He acts like a jerk, treats a woman like some kind of toy that he's lost interest in, and does things on purpose to piss her off just so his guy friends can have a laugh at it. I see the same in the gym even. I was doing some weight training and a guy was talking to me, being supportive, and another guy passed by, asked him what he was up to, and he says "Just trying to get this woman past being pathetic." Pathetic? :explode: What ever happened to "You're doing great!"?? Now for those men who are not gay (and nothing against gays, just this doesn't apply to them), why is it that you seem to be trying to impress males more than females? To be frank and blunt, if it's us females you want to hook up with and make a good impression, shouldn't you at least wait to be an *kitten* until we're gone? So why do men do this? Who are you trying to impress?

I see the problem. After reading this twice, and noticing no mention of dinner preparation or shoulder rubs, I ask myself "Why did he allow her out of the kitchen?" Obviously he has a problem with control.

lmfao!

Vermilla

You have discovered the species Doucheus Maximus Simpleton, a common predator in the gym apex. Doucheus Maximus Simpleton often perform mating rituals that include beating their chest, hooting, frost tipping their hair, and winking at themselves in the mirror. To keep a respectable rank amongst the other Doucheus Maximus that may dwell within the gym apex, they will engage in an act scientists have labeled "douchery".

The higher the social rank of Doucheus Maximus, the more acts of douchery they will commit, which seems to attract the female doucheus minoritis species and allow them to perform coitus upon them.

LOL, I love it.

I've known a LOT of men in my life.

ORLY?

Yeah...I don't know where YOUR mind is, but as for me personally, yes. There are men at the gym, at work, at my daughter's school, at the store, at the doctor's, at the mall even. Yeah, I've said hello to quite a few men. Not sure it deserves THAT reaction, though.

That's not the way men behave. That's the way insecure little boys (of any age) behave. Some guys are so afraid of being called p-whipped by their friends that they become d-whipped instead. My ex was like that. He was sweet if it was just the two of us, and an *kitten* around his friends. I thought I hated his friends... turns out I just hated who HE WAS around his friends. :laugh:

Hehe, d-whipped. I hate when guys, or gals, use the phrase "boys will be boys" as an excuse for everything. Sorry, but it's just not a "get out of jail free" card.

Do all broads make such broad generalizations?

When you go calling us broads, then yes, yes, in fact we do. And it's called a "generalization" not a "100% fact for all males" because in general, that's how they are.

CouchSpud

In all fairness, I know plenty of women doing the same ^^ It's sthe sarcasm gone wrong hahaha look how funny I am epic fail behaviour. I do normally counter with, and this is how sarcasm should look like behaviour

Other than that... why even waist any time thinking about a sad excuse of man like that? ^^

CaptainGordo

And it's called a "generalization" not a "100% fact for all males" because in general, that's how they are.

:huh:

rml_16

And it's called a "generalization" not a "100% fact for all males" because in general, that's how they are.

:huh:

Obviously, the men YOU have come across in your life behave that way. As others said, our behavior and attitude often dictate how others treat us.

I would never put up with that from anyone. And I've never had to. So, in my personal experience, in general, that is not how they are. At least since they finished sixth grade ...

taso42

Do all broads make such broad generalizations?

When you go calling us broads, then yes, yes, in fact we do. And it's called a "generalization" not a "100% fact for all males" because in general, that's how they are.

i see.... :laugh:

Vermilla

Mmm, it's not that I'm thinking of one particular guy in general. I was using him as an example. I know women can be this way too. At least, I think so. Honestly, I stopped being friends with females back in middle school. They were always screeching about which man belonged to them and I doubt they've ever stopped. I know we don't live in a fairy tale world but really...is it that difficult to not be an *kitten* to others of the opposite gender? Or the same, I suppose.:ohwell:

rml_16

Mmm, it's not that I'm thinking of one particular guy in general. I was using him as an example. I know women can be this way too. At least, I think so. Honestly, I stopped being friends with females back in middle school. They were always screeching about which man belonged to them and I doubt they've ever stopped. I know we don't live in a fairy tale world but really...is it that difficult to not be an *kitten* to others of the opposite gender? Or the same, I suppose.:ohwell:

So ... you're surrounded by men who treat you horribly and women who behave like children?

Methinks it's you.

yummy♥

Mmm, it's not that I'm thinking of one particular guy in general. I was using him as an example. I know women can be this way too. At least, I think so. Honestly, I stopped being friends with females back in middle school. They were always screeching about which man belonged to them and I doubt they've ever stopped. I know we don't live in a fairy tale world but really...is it that difficult to not be an *kitten* to others of the opposite gender? Or the same, I suppose.:ohwell:

So ... you're surrounded by men who treat you horribly and women who behave like children?

Methinks it's you.

*hands OP a mirror*

Vermilla

No, it's not just me, although thanks for proving yourself to be an *kitten* too I don't tend to hang around women, so I don't know how they treat other women (or men), but yes, most (and for those who can't apparently read, I said most, not all) men do behave like jerks. Not just to me, but to my co-workers, my family, and others I've spoken to as well. Same with guys who feel the uncontrollable desire to shout out sexual phrases or other harassing comments across a room to a woman for no reason. I highly doubt those women are the problem either.

_binary_jester_

*hands OP a mirror*

Thanks...my hair was messy

killagb

No, it's not just me, although thanks for proving yourself to be an *kitten* too I don't tend to hang around women, so I don't know how they treat other women (or men), but yes, most (and for those who can't apparently read, I said most, not all) men do behave like jerks. Not just to me, but to my co-workers, my family, and others I've spoken to as well. Same with guys who feel the uncontrollable desire to shout out sexual phrases or other harassing comments across a room to a woman for no reason. I highly doubt those women are the problem either.

You sound bitter. :flowerforyou:

Vermilla

Yay, binary code! :laugh:

rml_16

I need to say this more: I am ever so thankful for the people in my life who behave like civilzed, evolved humans.

Vermilla

No, it's not just me, although thanks for proving yourself to be an *kitten* too I don't tend to hang around women, so I don't know how they treat other women (or men), but yes, most (and for those who can't apparently read, I said most, not all) men do behave like jerks. Not just to me, but to my co-workers, my family, and others I've spoken to as well. Same with guys who feel the uncontrollable desire to shout out sexual phrases or other harassing comments across a room to a woman for no reason. I highly doubt those women are the problem either.

You sound bitter. :flowerforyou:

Sorry. :blushing: But when jerks act like jerks and then somebody points the finger away from them, it grates my nerves. Like people standing up for bullies.

toddlyons

Me.

And God is it working well. :bigsmile: