Girly dating question

Scott613

Maybe he has A.D.D. and can't concentrate on.......... oh look a butterfly:-)

beskimoosh

Update: Last night I did speak to him about the subject and we came to the conclusion that I enjoy sex more often than he does...this conversation will continue because I'm afraid this is going to become a larger issue in the near future.

My boyfriend and I have had this conversation, and although it was me at first constantly wanting it, I've been a bit stressed lately and now it's him, so I think it's just something that fluctuates within a relationship. Especially at first when you both have worries about where it's going or what the deal is.

Elizabeth_C34

Talk to him. If he won't even discuss it (some men are very weird about talking about sex), then I'd consider cutting off the relationship and going back to being friends and finding someone you are more sexually compatible with.

stcar

I just broke up with someone for the same reason. Being on different sexual pages is terrible and I wouldn't suggest sticking around to hope he catches up. At your age and that stage of the relationship, if it hasn't happened, it probably wont.

Shock_Wave

Maybe hes really gay or maybe low testosterone. Maybe its a combination of him being or wanting to be gay and low testosterone. It could be that he is just not that interested in you and just wants your company kind of like a rebound thing. Its some thing strange like that because as a guy even I know there is some thing is very off there...:D

songbyrdsweet

Thanks everyone. My favorite point that many of made is that my sex drive just "outdrives" his. I will admit I have always been a very sexual person and was not used to being turned down by my past boyfriends, this is why I am quite confused by this time around. We have a great time together and understand one another so well because of our 10 years of friendship. This is why I was asking for opinions, not as one poster claimed that I shouldn't being looking to strangers on the internet. I also feel comfortable to share more personal things on MFP because I lay out all my other issues (ex:eating) to ya'll. Another thing, I do NOT feel ashamed before, during or after sex. I'm glad so many of you are open to talking about sex in society. Most people that I encounter loved sex and nobody should be afraid to talk about it. Update: Last night I did speak to him about the subject and we came to the conclusion that I enjoy sex more often than he does...this conversation will continue because I'm afraid this is going to become a larger issue in the near future.

That's great you could discuss it. Sex drives fluctuate, and I'm willing to bet that almost no couple always wants it at the same time. Obviously there was a reason you guys started dating after a 10-year friendship, knowing that a bad breakup could end everything. The key is to not take it as rejection or judge him for it. There's nothing wrong with either of you, you just differ in this way.

ji225

Ive been in a similar situation - though it got like this about 1.5 years down the line (though we didnt see each other for 7 of those months as I was away travelling.....so perhaps prolonged!)

It hurts a lot I know, as you start to think it is you that is the problem, I hope you havent got to this point yet, and you wnat to try and sort it.
Id suggest talking to him about it, then at least you have tried to understand him and what the issue might be.

If that doesnt go anywhere - get out girl and quick, as the longer it goes on for the more it will drag you down,

I think if it doesnt work it would be due to a combo of many things, red flags that you may have ignored as you want to believe the best about him, sexual incompatiability, anothe woman taking his interest and HIM having trouble taking you out of freinds zone,and many toher things, which basicaly mean he is not willing to give you what you need.

Basicaly 2 months in you have every right to want and expect the 'ripping each others clothes off' scenario, and if that aint happening ...........................then holdout for a guy it does happen with. We all know that stuff starts off crazy and burns out a bit to become more love than lust, so who wants to start off with no lust!?

Jenny

Kickstand927

UPDATE!!!
I found out by conversation the other day that he watches porn 4x a week. So I'm guessing that means its more like 7x week. Being that most humans downplay most things that they aren't forthcoming with. Porn in the problem and I don't see us lasting. Trust me I don't mind watching the occasional porn flick but everyday is not what I am into. Thank you to everyone for your input. Hope we all continue to be healthy and fit and amen to the internet for the great suggestions for why this isn't quite working, so many of you were right.

Dude41

"Houston, we have a problem."

It's not you. It's him!

If you are not being satisfied now, why stick around? Are you going to try and change him? Not a good practice to get into, in my opinion.

If it's something you can't tolerate for the rest of this relationship, move on. There is someone else who will fulfill your EVERY need.

My .02 :flowerforyou:

Dude41

"Houston, we have a problem."

It's not you. It's him!

If you are not being satisfied now, why stick around? Are you going to try and change him? Not a good practice to get into, in my opinion.

If it's something you can't tolerate for the rest of this relationship, move on. There is someone else who will fulfill your EVERY need.

My .02 :flowerforyou:

voliim

My .02 is that you should ask him.

Nobody on this forum has any idea what has happened to him in the past, previous relationships etc. and maybe even you don't know, so why would you assume things? Simply asking him can give you a definite answer.

lisakyle_11

i am sorry this is happening.

to be very honest (and i am a lot older), i wouldn't have the patience for this. ok, well at least bring it up with him soon -- let him know essentially what you are asking us, but in a more subtle way.

most - not all- guys want sex...and most --again, not all -- would love sex more than a few times a week.

try not to take it personal -- this is his thing!

the thing that is really bothering me with this scenario is that he is already seeming to make you feel bad for initiating sex... NOT a good thing for the long term. you want to be you and you should be able to express your sexual attraction/sexuality to him without feeling self-conscious.

been there....and it didn't end well.

good luck with this.

La_Amazona

UPDATE!!!
I found out by conversation the other day that he watches porn 4x a week. So I'm guessing that means its more like 7x week. Being that most humans downplay most things that they aren't forthcoming with. Porn in the problem and I don't see us lasting. Trust me I don't mind watching the occasional porn flick but everyday is not what I am into. Thank you to everyone for your input. Hope we all continue to be healthy and fit and amen to the internet for the great suggestions for why this isn't quite working, so many of you were right.

i'm sorry... there will be another guy who will see whats in front of him and appreciate it!!! you're a beautiful gal.. don't settle.